Health for the Emotionally Unhealthy

Today, we are finishing our series called Mindset: Taking Every Thought Captive. For the last three weeks, we have been looking at how sometimes, our emotions can get the best of us and how, by learning to take our thoughts captive, we can allow ourselves to feel our emotions without letting them control or dominate our lives. In the first week, we looked at the issue of anxiety and fear and our main idea was that we need to rewire our brains so that when we face a situation that brings us anxiety, our minds instantly think of some positive affirmations or some Biblical truths to help empower us to get through the situation. In week two, we looked at anger and we all know how easy it is to let anger explode out of us, causing a wake of destruction and pain. Through that teaching we looked at the 3 “R’s”: Refrain, Renew and Respond as a means of gaining self-control over our outbursts of anger. Last week, in an excellent teaching by our friend Pam Mugford, we looked at grief. Grief is not something to be avoided, but something to walk through. By admitting our grief and utilizing lament, we can actually grow closer to God in our grief.

Today, I want to wrap up this whole series by talking about our emotions in general. As our culture moved through the modernist movement of the 40’s and 50’s, a great emphasis was placed on the academic - on what we know and can prove. As we have moved through post-modernity and are firmly in a post-truth culture, it seems our feelings have become the supreme standard of what is right and wrong. Not that long ago, it was “I think, therefore, I am.” Now, it is “I feel, therefore, it is.” And that’s a tough road to walk. Which is why we, as followers of Jesus, have to be the voices of wholeness.

When asked, “What is the greatest commandment?”, Jesus responded with,

Matthew 22:37–39 NLT

Jesus replied, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

We are called by Jesus himself to love God with our whole being. Yes, we are to love him with our minds. Yes, we are to love him with our obedience and our service. And yes, we are to love God with our emotions.

I want you to imagine two people. The first person is someone who is easily offended, who cries all the time, who is fearful to the point it is affecting their life, and whose road rage is legendary. Someone whose emotions are always set to 10 and are always on display for the world to see.

Now, I want you to contrast that person with someone who never cries, is never angry or fearful. Someone who is so stoic, you think they might be robotic. They may accomplish tasks, but relationally, they come off as aloof and checked out.

These two people may be polar opposites from each other but they have this in common. They are both emotionally unhealthy. It is equally unhealthy to be emotionally numb, uncaring, and overly stoic as it is to be irrationally emotional with uncontrolled outbursts. Health is found in the middle, where our minds control the expressions of our emotions and allow us to work through what we feel.

Here at North Park Stratford, one of our core values is practical, relevant faith. So, this morning, we are going to look at three ways we can develop emotional health because when we walk in emotional health, we become more effective witnesses of the transforming power of Jesus to the world around us. In other words, when we get healthy, God gets the glory.

Surround ourselves with truth

There are so many lies that are being shoved in our faces. Social media promised to connect us deeper. It was a lie - it has left us as a culture more isolated than ever before.

In our media rich culture, we are bombarded by lies. Bayer promised that their Once-A-Day vitamins would prevent cancer. During the swine flu pandemic in 2009, Kelloggs Rice Krispies promised that their cereal would boost your child’s immunity. The year before, they promised that Frosted Mini-Wheats would increase your child’s attention span. Did you know that parents? If you want your kids to be more focussed, give them sugar coated cereal. The makers of Nutella lied to us when they said that it was part of a nutritious breakfast. (grabs belly) - I’m still angry about that one. And don’t forget about Axe Body Spray. They promise every 14 year old boy that girls would be all over them if they just used their product. The truth is that Axe body spray is a half step away from being declared chemical warfare. That stuff is nasty.

And those are just the lies that advertisers try to get us to believe. What about the lies that we tell ourselves, or the lies that Satan whispers in your ear? “You’re not good enough”, “You’re too damaged for anyone to love you” “You’ll never be as good as that person” “Just this once, it’ll be okay”, “God could never forgive you” and on and on and on. We are surrounded by lies culturally, so we need to be proactive and surround ourselves with truth instead.

In his book “How People Grow” Dr. Henry Cloud says “Although we don’t always receive it graciously, truth is one of God’s essential tools for growing us up.” We need truth to become emotionally healthy. But what is truth? Simply put, TRUTH IS WHAT IS; IT IS REALITY. Truth is not what we think is, or what we feel it is, or what we want something to be. Truth is true, no matter what we believe. But, admittedly, you and I may come to different conclusions as to what the truth in a particular situation is. For example, some of you believe that pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza but the TRUTH is, you are wrong and you need to repent. There is something wrong in you but don’t worry, Jesus can heal you.

Bayer promised it’s Once-a-day vitamins would prevent cancer - they do not

Truth is essential to our emotional health. Which is why we have been spending the last four weeks talking about taking our thoughts captive. Too often, we allow the lies that have implanted themselves in our brains to dictate what we are feeling. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5

2 Corinthians 10:3–5 NIV

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

The battles for emotional health are fought in our minds and we have to ruthlessly re-train our brains so that instead of a situation triggering thoughts based on lies, we tell ourselves the truth. So how do we figure out what is truth and what are lies?

Jesus said to his disciples in John 17:17 “Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.” The word of God, the Bible is truth. Yes, there are a few numerical discrepancies in it but the Bible is truth in what it teaches us and it can and should be trusted. Theologian Millard Erickson, when writing about how truthful the Bible is says, “The Bible, when correctly interpreted in light of the level to which culture and the means of communication had developed at the time it was written, and in view of the purposes for which it was given, is fully truthful in all that it affirms.”

We need to be people who read, study and memorize God’s word. We need to make reading this book a daily habit so that everyday, we fill our minds with truth because when we’re full of truth, there’s no more room for lies. Some people complain that it’s hard to get into the Bible everyday. I agree - it is. But this is that good for you soul food and everything else, like Instagram and Facebook is cheap, junk food. It’s always easier to grab the junk food, but it leaves you feeling unhealthy. Go get this good soul food into you and let its truth fill your mind and bring you greater emotional health.

The first way we gain emotional health is by surrounding ourselves with truth. The second way is to surround yourself with people.

2. Surround yourself with people

Maybe I should be specific: you need to surround yourself with people who bring you up, not who tear you down. Fredrick the Great, king of Prussia, once famously said, “The more get to know people, the more I love my dog.” And maybe some of you relate to that. People who are emotionally unhealthy have often had a series of bad experiences with other people, and as a result they then relate to others in an unhealthy way. They may be overly clingy, or socially isolating. They could be people-pleasers who can’t handle criticism or soulless robots who don’t care who they trample on in life. Emotionally unhealthy people often struggle in relationships.

But we were created for community; we were made for relationships. In the first chapter of the first book of the Bible, Genesis, it says “Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”” - Genesis 1:26

This verse is fascinating because God, who is speaking, refers to themself as a plural - “Let US make human beings in OUR image, to be like US. When we went through our statement of faith last summer, we looked at the concept that God is Trinitarian - that we have one God who is made up of three persons - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God is always in perfect community with themself and they have made us in their image. Because God is communal in nature, we too are communal in nature. We need people in our lives. But the key to emotional health is surrounding yourself with the right people.

By “right people,” I don’t mean people who look like you or who think like you. No, I mean people who will build you up and help you grow into greater emotional and spiritual maturity. We need people to grow into who God calls us to be. Look at this verse that the apostle Paul wrote:

Ephesians 4:16 NLT

He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

Our emotional growth is dependant on people using their God-given gifts to build us up. Some people are out there, waiting for God to zap them with the willpower they need, or with the patience they need, or with the self-control they need. But God’s Plan A isn’t to zap you with whatever you need. No, his Plan A is to send people into your life to help you grow. But it’s not enough to wait for others to approach you. Sometimes, you need to take control of your emotional healing by purposely looking around to whom God has placed in your life - looking for who “gets” you and can help you grow. People who can understand what you are struggling with and will pray for you, check in with you, and help you. Too many people try to deal with this stuff on their own, when they would find greater healing, greater hope, greater freedom and greater emotional health if they would simply let people into their brokenness instead of keeping them out so that they look good on the outside, even though they feel like they are rotting on the inside.

You were made for community. So go out and surround yourself with people who will build you up, not tear you down.

The first way to begin growing in your emotional health is to surround yourself with truth. The second way is to surround yourself with people. The third way is to surround yourself with God.

3. Surround yourself with God

This feels like a weird one to say, after all, as the Psalmist says, “I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!” - Psalm 139:7 God is omnipresent - they are everywhere at all times. But my own experience has taught me that it is easy to miss the presence of God and well, just ignore them. And often it’s unintentional. It’s not like you are necessarily avoiding God or ignoring them - although, to be fair, you might be and today is a good day to ask yourself why you are. But for many of us, it’s just that life seems to get in the way of our connecting with God. Getting the kids up and ready for school while they fight with you over crust on their toast. Getting yourself ready for work, thinking about that thing that you still need to get done there. Making supper, doing dishes, watching your favourite show and then it’s bedtime and when you add enough days like that in a row, it’s no wonder we often go through life feeling disconnected from God. We get into a rut of activity and busyness and because God is spirit, they are the first thing to be pushed out of our days and can be the last thing on our minds.

But look what it says here in

Jeremiah 17:5–8 NLT

This is what the Lord says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land. “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.

Jeremiah is warning Israel not to depend on other nations like Egypt or Babylon to save them or protect them from their enemies. They are to trust in God, not people. When we trust in other people to be our saviour, we are always let down because people weren’t meant to fill the place of God in our lives. And I know, I just said you need to surround yourself with people in order to help you grow. But there is a massive difference between living in community and inviting other people to help you grow and making any person, including and maybe most importantly yourself, your own saviour and cutting God out of the process. Those who reject and turn away from God are those who might find some temporary security and enjoyment, but they are a people without eternal, lasting hope. But for those who would press in towards God, who would surround themselves with God, they are like trees planted along a riverbank. They are continually spiritually nourished and become emotionally healthier.

How do we become emotionally healthier by surrounding ourselves with God? Let me give you a couple of examples - because I like to break this down into practical, helpful bits for you - and while the example might not apply to you, let the example point you to the principle and then, as you follow the principle, you will grow.

Imagine you struggle with a mild, but persistent form of anxiety. You are frequently fearful and nervous. Surrounding yourself with God means believing that God is with you and that, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” - Psalm 46:1 Knowing that God is with you and that he will help you can give you the courage you need to overcome your fear and take that next step of faith.

Or imagine you just got into a argument with someone you are close to and you want to blow up in anger. Surrounding yourself with God means remembering what God has done and what God calls us to. It allows us to fulfill what Paul says in Ephesians 4:30-32 “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” By surrounding ourselves with the presence of God, we can respond to others with kindness, instead of harshness. We can be tenderhearted to those who have hurt us because the Holy Spirit will help us empathize and understand why they did what they did. We can forgive, just as we have been forgiven and heal relationships instead of walking away in bitterness and resentment.

Maybe grief is your struggle right now. Surrounding ourselves with God means that we remember that Jesus suffered through grief and loss, just as we did. It means we can see the beautiful and unique ways God meets with us in our grief - how he brings us comfort. Five years ago today, my father passed away unexpectedly from a Grand Mal seizure. At his funeral, I asked people to tell me stories about my dad and God used those stories to bring me joy and comfort, even as I grieved. Let me share one with you, because I think you’ll get a kick out of it. I asked my dad’s best friend of over 50 years to tell me a story. This is what he told me. They had grade 12 english together and the didn’t really like the teacher - we’ve all been there. The teacher had been mean and rude to the students, unfair in her marking and generally making everyone miserable. One day a friend of theirs leaned over and whispered something to my dad in class. My dad whispered back but the teacher saw him and started to yell at him for talking in class. My dad, who had a mischievous and rebellious side to him, stood up said, “But Mrs. Penner, I was defending you. Andrew said you weren’t fit to sleep with pigs and I said you were.” The whole class lost it laughing, the teacher turned a colour of red in anger that looked like a strawberry and my dad was sent to the principals office. I had never heard that story until my dad’s funeral and my dad was famous for telling the same story over and over. God used that irreverent story to help me process my grief and remember my dad with fondness.

To surround yourself with God is to simply open up your mind and your heart and look for the ways that God is working around you. Maybe it’s through a hopeful sunrise, or through the loving conversation of a friend or, if I may, through the fumbling words of pastor in a small, but awesome church in Stratford, ON. Don’t allow the busyness of life to squeeze God out of your mind. If you actively choose to see where God s working around you, you will experience more joy, more peace, more love and you will grow emotionally healthier.

Conclusion

Sometimes, our emotions get the best of us. Some may struggle with deep and real mental health issues and I implore you, seek help from mental health experts. Go see a doctor, a counsellor, a psychologist and work with them to begin your journey to better mental heath. But, this series isn’t only for those with big mental health issues. We all need to grow emotionally healthier in life. We all need to learn to feel, but to feel and respond appropriately. Even if you are emotionally stable, and you feel pretty good lately, there is always more room to grow. So, how can you grow in your emotional health? Surround yourself with truth. Surround yourself with people who build you up. Surround yourself with God.

Let’s pray.

Benediction

Thank you for coming. As always, if there has been something in our worship service that you believe could be a help to someone you know, share our content on your social media and if you have any questions, please feel free to email me at [e-mail]

Hebrews 13:20–21 NLT

Now may the God of peace— who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood— may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen.