How to Guard your hearts and minds

It is very easy to find “how to” articles and videos. “How to find inner peace”, “how to be happy”, “how to make friends”, “how to excel in something”. You can find them everywhere, it is very easy in fact. But the problem that you find is that everyone has their own opinion on how to do this. Everyone has their tricks, everyone has the things that they do that works for them. And they end up being like old wives tales. Do you know what those are? Old wives tales are tricks that families use to help cure you from an illness or some type of medical issue. For example. What trick were you taught to use whenever you have the hiccups? Was it to eat a spoon full of sugar? Was it to lay upside down? Or to have someone scare you? Was it to drink salt water while holding your nose? And there are plenty more of those. Now in the end each one of these can work in some circumstances but not in others. These are methods that have worked for someone at some point in time and they believed that it would work in every other circumstances.

What Paul tells us in this chapter is how we can learn to have peace through every conflict that you may encounter. It isn’t a wives tale, it isn’t made up, it isn’t something that will work for some people but not for others. But a tried and true method that will help you deal with an issue between other people that you find yourself in. And he sets this up by talking about two women that had an issue in the church of Phillipi. There are two women, Euodia and Syntyche, and they had an issue between each other. An issue that seemed to have been cause divisions between people in the church, and causing people to choose sides. We don’t actually know what they were fighting about, we just know that it was an issue serious enough that Paul finds reason to address it specifically in this letter. Like think about that, it would have to be very serious. What if I came in here one Wednesday night and in the midst of my message I called out two of you and said “you two need to find a way to get along and agree in the Lord.” That would sure raise some heads haha. And that’s essentially what Paul does. So the question we have to ask then is how does Paul tell them to deal with it?

Remember who we are called to be in Christ

The first thing that Paul draws their attention to is agree in the Lord. He is reminding them that they have the same goal and to not let disagreements get in the way of that goal. Because he knows the issue is not worth breaking the bond we have as brothers and sisters in Christ. Notice that Paul doesn’t even bring up whatever the disagreement is about, and he doesn’t care who is right or wrong. What Paul is worried about is that they find a way to settle their differences because the most important thing is what they are called to as believers, not the issue that is causing them to argue. So he doesn’t even bring it up. But oftentimes we let this one issue cause us to have a problem with someone else, and we don’t let it go. In fact we hold onto it and we force other people to choose a side.

Notice how Paul refers to these believers in v. 1. That they are dearly loved, and they desires to see them, and they are his “joy and crown”. It is like a father looks at a daughter as his “prized jewel” or “his princess” or at a son as his “warrior” and his “pride and joy”. That is what he is saying about this church. He see’s them as precious, and he is calling for them to treat one another as precious in God’s eyes as well. He is calling them to family unity. And he loves them so much that he desires the best for them, even at his expense. What he desires most is that they are able to be with the Lord in heaven one day, and he is willing to give up everything to make sure that happens. So in that way he sees that it is contrary to the Gospel and to the example of Christ for them to create hostility and division among one another.

Notice Paul also brings up how they have worked together in the past, He reminds them that they have been on the same side when it comes to the Gospel so he knows that they will continue to be by his side. Sometimes we can be so frustrate by others that we forget about the times that they have helped and cared for us. In fact, we can throw out a lifetime of friendship just because of a single action or from one argument. We can loose trust in other and say things like “how can I ever trust that person again” and sometimes it is hard to gain trust back, but that shouldn’t stop us from seeking to release our hatred and bitterness and that should never prevent us from trying to mend a relationship and make peace.

Then he calls on the whole church to stand by these women and help them to come to an agreement. He reminds them that they are to be there for each other, not to escalate the situation but to deescalate. Oftentimes when you are in an argument with someone you have your friends tell you why you are right and why they should choose your side and you have them pump you up to get more angry. But what friends in Christ should do is to tell us where we may be thinking wrong and how we can reevaluate the situation and how we can find a way to resolve the problem rather than expect the other person to come and say that they were wrong. But in fact if both were willing to come and say that they had handled the situation wrong then it would be much easier to resolve the disagreement.

Let thanksgiving rule your heart, not worry and frustration

Paul tells them three times that they are to have an attitude that reflects the joy and thanksgiving that they find the Lord. He says rejoice in the Lord…Let your graciousness be known to everyone…with thanksgiving present your requests to God.”

What he is reminding them of is that they have so many reasons to be thankful to God and so many reasons to rejoice because he has forgiven them, so how much more willing should they be to forgive others?

Colossians 3:12-14

Colossians 3:12–14 CSB

Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

Notice what Paul says here in Colossians. “Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive.” Because otherwise we are holding others to a standard that we are not willing to meet ourselves. Because I imagine that each of us has sinned in the same way that others have sinned against us. Whether it is lying, gossiping, speaking in hate towards another, stealing, hurting, or whatever else it is. I can imagine that all of us have done all of those in our life and we hoped that whoever we did that against would forgive us and not hold it over us. And then when we recognize that we have done that and far more in the eyes of God, and He is willing to forgive us of all our sins, who would we be to think that we shouldn’t forgive others?

In fact, what you are saying when you aren’t willing to forgive someone else is that you think that you are deserving of forgiveness but you are not. You are saying that you are more perfect than they are, and that you are more important then them.

But if you notice, this type of forgiveness doesn’t make us angry and frustrated, but it makes us rejoice. Because you know what? It feels incredible when you release anger towards another. It is freeing to remove hatred and malice. In fact you can become a slave to your anger and hatred.

How many here have watched the movie Mean Girls? One of the main themes of the movie is that everyone is so caught up in hatred and jealousy and bad intentions that they don’t enjoy the fun moments in life.

Pray in the most difficult moments