1 Timothy 4:14 to 5:2

Marc Transparenti
Calvary Chapel Lake City
1 Timothy • Sermon • Submitted 3 years ago • Presented 4 years ago • 1:01:09
1 Timothy 4:14–5:2
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﻿Good morning, we have come as far as 1 Tim 4:13. 

Paul is writing to Timothy, his beloved son in the faith. 
Paul opened the letter with a brief greeting to Timothy Chapter 1, Verse 1-2, and then right away Paul gave many instructions to Timothy...
Instructions on False Teachers
Instructions on Prayer, Men and Women in the Church and Elders and Deacons
Instructions on guarding the truth and warnings against apostasy
Where we left off, Paul was instructing Timothy on being a good minster in the faith. Paul told Timothy to nourish himself in the words of faith and good doctrine, to exercise himself toward godliness, to give attention to reading, to exhortation, and to doctrine. Very much our vision for this church.
In Chapter 5, Paul will give instructions regarding treatment of specific groups of people in the church...people in general, widows and elders. 

Let's Pray, and then we will read 1 Tim 4:12-5:2

Tim 4:14 "Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership."

"Do not neglect the gift that is in you..."
We all have spiritual gifts given to us by the Holy Spirit. 
The word "gift" in greek is charisma and we still use this word today referring to a person who has charm and is inspirational. By definition "gift" means "a gift of grace" a "special inward endowment," "extraordinary powers, distinguishing certain Christians and enabling them to serve the church of Christ, the reception of which is due to the power of divine grace operating in their souls by the Holy Spirit."
Good chapters on spiritual gifts: 1 Cor 12-14; Rom 12:3-8; 1 Pet 4:9-11; Eph 4:11-12
There are a number of gifts mentioned in these chapters: apostleship; tongues; interpretation; miracles; healings; faith; discernment; wisdom; knowledge; evangelism; prophecy; shepherding; teaching; exhortation; serving; mercy; giving; and administration.
At Calvary Chapel we believe these gifts are alive and active today, but we also don't go overboard and overemphasize the gifts. There is a mistake when you have too much emphasis on the gifts and get sucked into the experiential and charismania. And, there is a mistake to say the gifts have ceased. There are far too many moves of the Spirit today, working through people in exercising these gifts to deny their reality. This is one of the hot spot areas of debate in the church today- Cessationism vs Continuationsim. And, both sides can site scripture and experience to make their claim. We are continuationist, but not extreme continuationist who would claim tongues must be present at salvation as a sign. We do not encourage tongues on a Sunday morning gathering...1 Cor 14 speaks against this practice. We do not subscribe that a person can attain all spiritual gifts, also not biblical as explained in 1 Cor 12:11, 29-30. We take a middle ground, recognizing gifts are present today, but we follow the scripture's guidance on the gifts...such as...
1 Cor 12:4 reminds us "there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit." We may have different gifts, but the source is the same...the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor 12:7 and 14:12 tell us gifts are given to edify the body of Christ....gifts, when exercised, should encourage other believers. 1 Cor 13, the love chapter, reminds us if we don't have love in exercising our gifts, our gifts won't be effective...without love, exercising gifts is just a lot of loud noise..."sounding brass or a clanging cymbal." And, 1 Pet 4:11 reminds in using our gifts they should bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. ...gifts are not for personal glory.
I would think, based on context, that Timothy had the gift of shepherding/teaching, given he was an overseer of the church and Paul told him to continue reading publically and teaching. Hopefully, he had the gift of exhortation, as Paul also instructed him to continue encouraging the believers. But, we don't know specific gifts Timothy had. In fact, "gift" is singular in this verse...Timothy may have only had one spiritual gift. Some think this gift is the gift of the Holy Spirit, perhaps referring to the Baptism of the Holy Spirit...which would be a great gift...gifting Timothy to be equipped by the Holy Spirit to pour into the lives of others. 
Interesting, Paul again commands Timothy "Do not neglect..." as in "Do not keep on neglecting the spiritual gift that is in you..." Paul is prohibiting Timothy from continuing in his negligence of his spiritual gift. Wuest writes "the word "neglect" is in the present imperative, which when used in a prohibition, forbids the continuance of an act already going on." Timothy was being despised for his youth, and Paul told his to stop letting people despise him...be an example to the believers. Timothy was neglecting his spiritual gift, and remember in Chapter 1, Paul told him "remain in Ephesus." Seems like Timothy was down and wanted out.
I don't know about you, but I appreciate Timothy's struggle as revealed in this letter, and his humanity. I've been there. I've felt discouraged in long waiting seasons. I've been at that point Peter was at saying, "I'm going fishing." These men were not so different from us. They had struggles, but look at the power of what Paul is doing...spurring Timothy along...writing to him to exhort him to edify him to build him up. That's the body of Christ. There are going to be times when you need to hear it, and I need to hear it. This is what we do for one another in love. 
And Paul reminds Timothy regarding his gift "...which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership."
Timothy, who seems in a slump, is reminded by his spiritual father of the confirmation of his spiritual gifts. 
A prophecy had been spoken over Timothy about his spiritual gift, and the elders, the presbuterion, the council of elders layed hands on him confirming his ministry calling. 
Ironside said, "It is evident that the elders of the church at Lystra and Derbe had met together with the apostle Paul when Timothy was about to launch out into full-time service and had laid their hands on him, commending him to God in prayer." 
Maybe...not a bad thought. Paul is a little vague here in this verse...and as a result there is a lot of conjecture about the gift given to Timothy by prophecy, and the timing of when this happened. For us, the exact details are a little blurry. But, look...for Timothy, when he read this letter... he knew exactly what Paul was talking about, and I'm sure it pierced him. 
While some despised Timothy, others were confident in him, they were led by the Holy Spirit to prophecy over Timothy, and they ordained him in the ministry. Timothy likely needed to be taken back to the beginning of his ministry calling, and I just imagine him being so touched, maybe even crying, in reading this personal letter which is both encouraging and a kick in the tail. 
At the end of verse 14, Paul mentions the Laying on of Hands which is man's recognition of someone who is being faithful to their calling. God calls a person first and later the elders recognize that a person has been called. It takes some time to know a person has genuinely been called by God. 
1 John 4:1 "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world."
1 Tim 5:22 "Do not lay hands on anyone hastily, nor share in other people's sins; keep yourself pure."
The elders needs to observe a persons ministry over time, they need to test the doctrine/the teaching of this person and if they are preaching sound doctrine. This person is also to be known for their character in life and by their works.
Timothy had passed these tests and was recognized by the elders. 
The Laying on of Hands can be more formal, and I have seen and been part of people laying hands on us in front of a congregation to send us out, and I've seen this to be more informal, where just a small group of elders, more privately, pray over, lay hands on and send. 
This is a common practice in the Bible, but with various purposes. 
In the OT, we see laying on of hands for the ordination of priests.
Part of the process for the consecration of Aaron and his sons...Ex 29:10
The Levites were dedicated, and again laying on of hands was part of this process...Num 8:10 
In the OT, Joshua was inaugurated with the laying on of hands.
The LORD instructed Moses to lay his hands on Joshua in Num 27.
In Miraculous workings, Jesus sometimes laid hands on people, but not always. 
Healing of the sick (Matt 9:18); Cleansing a leper (Mk 1:41); and Raising of the Dead (Mk 5:23). But, sometimes he didn't lay hands and still healed.
In Acts, people were commissioned or ordained to certain roles:
The Apostles prayed over and laid hands on the Deacons in Acts 6.
The Prophets and Teachers at Antioch fasted, prayed, and laid hands on Barnabas and Saul and sent them on their 1st Missionary Journey. Acts 13 
Paul laid hands on Timothy in 2 Tim 1:6, and it seems later the elders laid hands on Timothy and prophesied over him in 1 Tim 4:14. 
Laying on of hands was also connected to the Baptism of the Holy Spirit 
Peter and John prayed over and laid hands on the Samaritans and they received the Holy Spirit in Acts 8:14-17. 
Paul shared the gospel with about 12 men in Ephesus, they were baptized, Paul laid his hands on them and the Holy Spirit came upon them. Acts 19:6. 
I think it is important to mention that some church movements place too much emphasis on the laying on of hands, as far as their role in Salvation, the receiving of the Holy Spirit, and miracles.
When you look at the action of laying on or hands, and then look at the result that follows, there is great diversity. 
We just saw how the Laying on hands can be to commission someone into leadership; to send them out into the mission field; or in the case of the Samaritans the purpose was totally different...it was for them to receive the Holy Spirit for they had only been baptized by Philip. 
We also see the laying on of hands in miracles of Jesus, but sometimes he didn't lay hands on them, sometimes he just spoke, or rubbed mud in their eyes...there was diversity. 
I point these things out, just to say that laying on of hands is a great biblical practice, but it should not be under-emphasized, nor overemphasized or mystified. ...there is not magical power in your hands. There is only power in God, and if He wants to channel that power through you or by some other means, He will. 
I truly think that laying on of hands is so significant just because we physically touch the other person, and it is a demonstration of faith, of love, closeness, and friendship...
When Jesus cleansed the leper, scripture records, "...Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, "I am willing; be cleansed." Mk 1:41 
in the case of commissioning someone or praying for their healing, what better way to share God's love then to pray for them in agreement of their calling and to love on them by touching them? On the person receiving the blessing, it also demonstrates a degree of submission to God on their behalf to allow someone to touch them. It demonstrates a degree of vulnerability and trust, perhaps even desperation for God in their lives. So many good things come from this loving act. 
But, if we are outside of God's word or outside of His will, will prayer or laying on of hands have an effect? I would say, "No." 
You will see us lay hands on people at Calvary Chapel, but it's not going to be very natural...it won't be a mystical weird experience like Benny Hinn. 
continue to verse 15 

Tim 4:15 "Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all."

Meditate on these things...
Contextually, it seems that Paul is speaking about verse 13. Timothy should meditate upon public reading of the word, exhortation, and to doctrine/teaching. Verse 14 was kind of a parenthesis in the thought process of this letter.
Meditate is not eastern meditation...you know... "getting your zen on"... emptying your mind...putting on your yoga pants...this is not what Paul is talking about...
Meditate, in the Biblical sense and in this context means Timothy is to fill himself with the word of God. Meditate by definition is to "attend carefully" or "give thought to."
Continuously...another present imperative.
In the previous verse, Paul instructed, - STOP giving no thought to your gift. Here he says give careful thought to the word of God and exhortation. 
Ps 1:2 "...his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night." 
Ps 119:15 "I will meditate on Your precepts, And contemplate Your ways."
Give yourself entirely on them...
Don't be distracted Timothy, completely focus on God's word. Again, another present imperative... "Be constantly in these things." Be nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine.
Paul is spurring Timothy on to consistent self-dedication to God's word. Why?
"...that your progress may be evident to all." 
Paul told Timothy to be blameless in Chapter 3, and in verse 12 he said "be an example to the believers." 
Timothy's progress, his ministry success, would be evident to everyone as he was dedicated wholly to his ministry. The word progress carries the idea of a pioneer who is blazing a trail. 
In life and ministry, we must press forward for the prize. Your either moving forward or drifting away. 
Alan Redpath said, "The conversion of a soul is the miracle of a moment, but the manufacture of a saint is the task of a lifetime."
It is just as important for us today, as it was for Timothy, to be consistently dedicated to the study and teaching of the word of God, and encouraging other people. Your progress should be evident to all. It should be evident to your family, it should be evident to your colleagues, it should be evident when you have a divine appointment you are not expecting, it should be evident to yourself. And, most importantly it should be evident to God. 

continue in verse 16

Tim 4:16 "Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you."

Just in case you didn't hear it the first time Timothy, "Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine."
Take heed...another present imperative...and the order is important...keep watch on yourself first, and keep watch on your teaching. ...continuously. 
If your life is not in order, your teaching will not be in order. You will quickly be guilty of hypocrisy if you stand at the pulpit with a life steeped in compromise. 
Watch your teaching Timothy. Read God's word publically and teach it. Timothy was not to teach select portions of God's word, he was not an entertainer, his words were not meant to be silky smooth but absent of substance. He was not to tickle ears just teaching a feel good message to appease people. He was to follow Paul's lead when he spoke to the Ephesian Elders, the very town where Timothy is the overseer, Paul said "I testify to you this day that i am innocent of the blood of all men. For I have not shunned to declare to you the whole council of God." 
Paul had a clear conscience for his teachings were thorough ...Timothy needed to follow in these footsteps. 
Paul continues in verse 16, "Continue in them (present imperative), for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you..."
Timothy...continue in them...tarry, abide, remain in all these duties aforementioned...especially those commands in verse 13... give attention to reading publically, to exhortation, and to doctrine.
In doing so you will save both yourself and those who hear you...
In one sense, through the consistent and accurate teaching of the word of God, Timothy would save himself and the people in his congregation from the false teachings spoken of at the beginning of this chapter. He would save them from apostasy, deceiving spirits, and doctrines of demons. His congregation would know the truth so well, that they would not be fooled by the counterfeit.
But, in another sense Rom 10:17 says, "...faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Timothy himself cannot save, but a person who's heart is pricked by hearing the word of God... may open their heart to God, and be saved. Truly a work of the Holy Spirit. 
There is a great responsibility for church leaders to live lives of godliness and to rightly divide the word of truth.
Calvin said, "And just as the unfaithfulness or negligence of a pastor is fatal to the Church, so it is right for its salvation to be ascribed to his faithfulness and diligence. It is indeed true that it is God alone who saves and not even the smallest part of His glory can rightly be transferred to men. But God's glory is in no way diminished by His using the labour of men in bestowing salvation."

continue to 5:1-2

Tim 5:1-2 "Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity."

Paul now will shift from how Timothy is to conduct his life and ministry, now advise Timothy on how he is to treat people in the church. 

In Chapter 5, Paul will look at...
Treatment of older and younger men and women
Widows
And, elders...as in the office of the elder. 

In Verse 1 of Chapter 5, Paul begins addressing...
Treatment of an elder, but not in the sense of the position or office of an elder, but generically speaking "older men."
Just a few verses prior, Paul commanded Timothy "Let no one despise your youth..." Timothy was being despised by people within the church, and he was allowing himself to get pushed around. He needed to discontinue this, and take charge by setting an example to the believers. 
Now here, Paul discusses the importance of not just setting an example in how Timothy is to live his life, but also wisdom in perhaps preserving relationships or not causing unneeded harm to relationships in the church. 
The older men were to be given respect, just as Timothy would respect his own father. 
If these were some of the men who were despising Timothy's youth, this is a hard command. When we are wronged, it's not easy to rise above, to be bigger. We sometimes act petty and resentful. This is the way of the flesh. 
Old men...I don't know what comes to your mind when you think of old men in the church, but when I observe older men in the church who have been walking with the Lord for many years, I typically have encountered men with much wisdom, men that have been faithful and deserve respect. 
I'm not sure this was the case in Timothy's situation. Paul's writing to Timothy is somewhere around 62-64 A.D. Jesus had died some 30 years prior. Many of these men were likely versed in the Old Testament, but were still in process of discovering the New Testament. There is indication in Paul's writing that Timothy was being despised because of his youth, and this was likely by the men given how the culture at that time gave less voice to women. Regardless, Paul is still telling Timothy to pay these men honor...which is Biblical.
Lev 19:32 "You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the LORD." 
The Lord gave instruction to Moses to give love and respect to the elderly.
Pro 16:31 "The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness." 
If you have lived a long life right with God, your gray hair is like a sign of being distinguished. If you are old and gray headed, but have not lived right with God, your gray hair is just a sign of age...nothing more. 
Pro 20:29 "The glory of young men is their strength, And the splendor of old men is their gray head." 
Young men take pride in their physical prowess, but older men by their gray hair which is a sign of wisdom and experience. 
No matter the situation in Ephesus, Timothy is to respect his elders.
Here is what Paul specifically instructs...
"Do not rebuke an older man..."
Rebuke here is not a prohibition from correction, in general, but a prohibition from excessively harsh correction. Older men don't like to be corrected by younger men with far less life experience, especially not harshly. 
Rebuke is defined "to strike at" or to "chastise with words"...this would be a 'verbal lashing." This word is only used here in the New Testament. Other places in the New Testament, like in verse 20, a different Greek word is used meaning to expose, convict or reprove, and that's ok...that's productive...that a kind of honest truth you need to hear when you've crossed a line and a true friend holds you accountable for your misdeed...as in Pro 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." But, here in verse 1, Timothy is being instructed not to cross the line and commit a mis-deed. 
Do not give the older men in your church a verbal lashing. This would get Timothy nowhere. An older man is just not going to receive that, especially if they have already formed a negative opinion of you and are actively being critical. 
Here's some good news about Timothy's character...despite the criticism...the Greek tense in this phrase speaks to not starting an action...Timothy had not been harsh yet, and Paul is instructing him "Don't start harshly correcting older men."
Timothy is to be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love...as we saw in verse 12...harsh rebukes would go against all of this and would damage relationships. 
Pro 15:1 "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger." 
Timothy had to give a soft answer to these older men in the church who were despising him. Otherwise, he would stir up their fleshly nature and cause further damaging harm. 
Spurgeon once shared a story about the annoying dog next door. Spurgeon was angry at the dog and spoke harshly to it...listen to this story how the dog's soft answer turned away Spurgeon's wrath...
"I once lived where my neighbor's garden was divided from me only by a very imperfect hedge. He kept a dog, and his dog was a shockingly bad gardener, and did not improve my plants. So, one evening, while I walked alone, I saw this dog doing mischief and being a long way off, I threw a stick at him, with some earnest advice as to his going home. This dog, instead of going home, picked up my stick, and came to me with it in his mouth, wagging his tail. He dropped the stick at my feet and looked up to me most kindly. What could I do but pat him and call him a good dog, and regret that I had ever spoken roughly to him?"
Spurgeon spoke harshly to this dog something to the effect of, "You dumb dog, go home!" But, his heart was softened by the simply and loving nature of the animal. 
We need to be like this dog. Simple and loving to the people around us. It's so easy to get defensive, to think about "me" and how I am the victim of those ignorant people out there, those annoying neighbors, those impossible co-workers...this is not the heart of Christ, and certainly not how we are to treat other people in the body of Christ. 
Sometimes this is not an easy task. Sometimes we have been wronged and we are hurt and offended and may even be in the right. The other person is wrong, and it seems like this was the case for Timothy. He was discouraged, he was neglecting his gifts, and he seemed ready to quit being the Pastor in Ephesus. Paul told him to remain in Ephesus, to stop neglecting his gifts, and 'Don't start harshly rebuking the older men in your church..." 
A great example of a Biblical leader who failed terrible in not holding his tongue was Moses. In Num 20, the Israelites were in their wilderness wanderings, there was no water, and they contended with Moses...they were complaining...they were looking back to Egypt with selective memory remembering provisions and forgetting their slavery and abuse...so Moses and Aaron prayed and God instructed, "Speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water..." So Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together and said to them, "Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock? Then Moses lifted his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank. Then the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them." 
Moses crossed a line. He spoke harshly to the assembly, and he misrepresented God before the people.
G. Campbell Morgan commented: "By this manifestation of anger, which as we have said was so very natural, the servant of God misrepresented God to the people. His failure was due to the fact that for the moment his faith failed to reach the highest level of activity. He still believed in God, and in His power: but he did not believe in Him to sanctify Him in the eyes of His people. The lesson is indeed a very searching one. Right things may be done in so wrong a way as to produce evil results."
Timothy is being warned by Paul not to replicate this failure. As a church leader, you are an Ambassador, a messenger, a representative of Christ. You may have been wronged by someone, and your flesh would say, "They deserve a tongue lashing," but what does the Spirit say within you. If you go down that road of vengeance, evil results will be produced. 
So, what must Timothy do instead? Paul tells Timothy, regarding the older man... "...exhort him as a father."
Timothy was instructed "Don't start speaking harshly to the older men in the church, but, in contrast...exhort him as a father...encourage him as a father...appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father." 
If your father had done wrong, or treated you poorly, you may have a conversation with him about this offense. If your goal is restoration, you don't want to come into the conversation with guns blazing, attacking his character and using harsh speech. This may may your feel better...as in "I'm glad I got that off my chest." But, conscience will later tell you that "you were being a jerk." 
What does the Bible teach about how we are to treat our parents? Ex 20:12 "Honor your father and your mother." The 5th commandment "which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." Paul quoted this in Eph 6:2 when he instructed the Ephesians on relationships between Children and fathers. 
Timothy was to talk with these men, but he needed to be the bigger man. He needed to be the leader who, though younger, was demonstrating wisdom beyond years, grace beyond measure, he needed to emulated Christ-likeness. 
And, look, Paul says, "as a father."
For some, the image of their earthly father brings up images of dysfunction and maybe even abuse. That is not the picture here that Paul is painting. The command to exhort him as a father assumes a healthy relationship with one's father.
And look, in this verse and the next, he uses the words brothers, mothers, and sisters...
Who are these people? They are his family. His spiritual family. We all have a physical family, and if you are part of the church, you have a spiritual family. 
Whenever you get a group of people together, because we have a sinful nature, at some point someone is going to do or say something that offends another person. It happens at work, with your family, your neighbors, a club you belong to, and it happens in the church too.
I've been the recipient of some really harsh encounters with other Christians, that still to this day baffle me. But, I have enough wisdom to recognize those few people as an anomaly and not as the rule of church conduct. Some people "throw the baby out with the bath water." This is foolish. 
The church family is not perfect, but "it's the best dysfunctional family around." We were designed to be part of a family, and in a healthy family unit, a person can thrive. The church family, your spiritual family, when you plug in and invest... this family offers so many things for your spiritual nourishment and your support during this lifetime...
We gather to study God's word, to encourage one another, and to make disciples.
Heb 10:24-25 "Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."
We gather to worship God. To praise Him corporately. 
Ps 34:3 "Oh, magnify the LORD with me, And let us exalt His name together." 
It's biblical to be together in corporate worship of the Lord. 
We are honest and real with one another. Your brothers and sisters in the Lord tell you the hard things that you may not want to hear, and hold you accountable. Some people cannot handle constructive criticism; some people run from tension and they never grow, they never mature, they never blossom. Wherever they go, their problems follow, and there is one bad relationship after another all with one thing in common- themselves. 
Pro 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."
When you are part of the body of Christ, you have friends, and they are going to be abrasive in a good way to wear off your dull spots and make you an effective tool, a sharp tool, one that is useful...because they are your friend and they care enough to go through the sharpening labor with you so your not some dull worthless instrument. You're not going to get that on your own, you need to be here in the body of Christ. 
We support one another in the trials of life. Christians support people they know well, and people they barely know visiting the ill in the hospital, bringing meals to the family who just had a baby, crying with and talking to the person who just lost a family member, providing financial support to the one in great need, etc. etc.
Gal 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
This is the family...the church...the ekklēsia...the assembly. This is our family. We are going to have times of frustration, times of we don't see eye to eye, times we hurt one another, but the good of how we love one another, the good fruit that is produced in these relationships far outweighs the frustrations, and far outweighs anything you will find in the world. 
And Paul also states, "younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters..."
Everything Paul said about the older men, in regards to harsh rebuke and exhortation, applies to these family members as well...
Do not rebuke the younger men, the older women, or younger women Timothy. You are not to give a verbal lashing to any of these people. Be an example to all of these people, even if any of them mis-treated you, you be the leader and show them how we are to behave in the church...
1 Tim 4:12 "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." Such a key verse in the context of these relationships and Timothy's leadership.
They may be despising you, but you be an example to them. Don't start beating them with words, but encourage all of these people. 
The older men...treat them like your father. 
The younger men...treat them like your brother. 
You may be mad at your brother, but he is your brother. He's blood, there is extra grace given in the family. 
Be their brother; don't lord over them; don't act superior to them; don't dominate them...they're your brothers. Young men, especially young men in leadership, have a tendency to be arrogant and to think of themselves as more important than they are. Timothy had to keep his pride in check, and treat the younger men with the same camaraderie he would toward a brother. He was not to rebuke them harshly, but he was to exhort them. 
I have two brothers. I don't perfectly see eye to eye with them, but I love them and I respect them. Despite differences, I don't want anything to come between us. Your spiritual family needs to be the same. 
If you have a disagreement, don't harshly correct your brother. Jesus said, "...if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." Matt 18:15 
Don't talk to others about your brother...Talk to your brother...seek reconciliation...gain your brother. I have a feeling Timothy had to have a lot of talks like this in his ministry. 
The older women...treat them like your mother. 
Honor your father and mother...Timothy respect and love these older women with honor they are due. 
If you are a younger Pastor, or even a Pastor around my age, you should expect the older women to be motherly... they have good intentions...and it is good to honor them for their care and wisdom. 
Pro 1:8-9: "My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law [or the teaching] of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck." 
Pro 15:20 "A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother."
Pro 23:22 "Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old." 
Pro 23:25 "Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her who bore your rejoice."
I could site 10 other verses like these. It's not always the easiest thing to honor older people, but it is an age-old biblical precept. It's right, and God approves. I could also give you 20 verses where the bible speaks about how contemptible it is to not care for your elderly parents and when you don't honor those who are older.
The younger women...as your sister. 
And, notice he adds "with all purity"... "with absolute purity"... Timothy had no leeway to flirt with, to use double entendres, or give creepy hugs to the younger women. He was to keep the relationship pure. In light of being a Christian in the 1st Century and today, Timothy was to be "morally pure." 
1 Jn 3:3 tells us that Jesus is pure, and a Christian is a follower of Jesus. We are to be pure. 1 Jn 3:3 "And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."
Jesus is pure, he led a sinless life. One scholar said, "The hope of being like Christ in the future expresses itself in an effort to purify oneself to be like him in the present."
Timothy and us today are to put forth an effort to live pure lives. 
In Paul's 2 letter to Timothy, he commanded Timothy "Flee also youthful lusts..." Flee is a present tense verb in the imperative mood. "Flee is not a suggestion...it's a command...flee now, and keep fleeing continuously...
"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Tim 2:22
Timothy is a 30-35 year old man. He can use the reminder that the single young women in his church are to be regarded and treated as his sisters. 
When I was in Bible college, there was a joke that the ladies were there for their M.R.S. degree. If you find a man or woman you love and you get married, and remain physically pure prior to that marriage, this is in God's design. This is a good thing. 
But, if you begin a physical relationship prior to marriage...this is without all purity
Purity denotes chastity which excludes all impurity of spirit, manner, or act. The root word for purity is defined as "free from ceremonial defilement, holy, sacred- chaste, free from sin, innocent, pure." 
These young girls who Timothy was not married to were his spiritual sisters, and to violate the purity of this relationship would be to commit spiritual incest. 
Many Pastors destroy their ministries and compromise the walk of the lives they have touched when they fall into the spiritual sin of fornication or adultery. People from without the church mock God when this happens, and some people in the church walk away from the church because of hypocrisy. 
And, I would caution you that these leaders did not just jump right into sin. No, first they drifted from their first love Jesus. Then, they got their eyes fixed on worldly things and lustful desires grew. They didn't flee...instead they did what Psalm 1 warned not to do "... they walked in the counsel of the ungodly, they stood in the path of the sinners, they sat in the seat of the scornful..." Sin is a slippery slope. You make little compromises, allow for lust to grow, drift from Jesus, and before you know it you are ensnared.
James summarized this process very eloquently, "... each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." Jam 1:14-15
For the sake of his ministry and for the sake of his life, Timothy needed to regard his sisters with absolute purity. 
For the sake of our ministry, and for the sake of our lives we need to do the same. 

Solid counsel from the Holy Spirit to Paul... to Timothy... to us today...timeless and relevant. You have a gift, maybe several gifts, use them. Don't neglect them. Give yourself entirely to being grounded in the word, and encourage other believers in your spiritual family. Love your family and don't be excessively harsh with them. And, look this week...will your progress be evident to all? Will your spiritual progress be evident to your family?... to the people you encounter?...to yourself?...and to God? Exercise yourself to godliness this week. 

Let's pray!