Genesis 33:1-20: Renconciling Relationships

Introduction

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/beyhan-mutlu-missing-joins-search-party_n_6157255be4b008640eb3e819

Imagine the conversation when he got home… He had some explaining to do… Probably slept on the couch.

Relationships are hard because relationships involve sinners who sin. You do things that are hurtful. You say things that are hurtful.

We hate to admit when we’re wrong. Instead, we want to defend ourselves and argue about how we’re right.

How many relationships have you damaged because of your sinfulness? You said something, you did something, etc.

Doing what you can to make relationships right is a big deal to Jesus. “If you go to worship, and remember you offended a brother, go make it right before you worship...” (Matt. 5:23-24)

You serve the God of reconciliation. He has reconciled you to Himself through the death and resurrection of Jesus. The God who reconciled us wants us to be a people of reconciliation.

When you practice forgiveness and reconciliation you look like Jesus.

How would your life be different if you worked to put some relationships back together?

A tense year - COVID debates. I wonder if you’ve hurt some relationships with some of the things you’ve said out of frustration this past year.

Gen. 33 - a story of reconciliation - 2 truths that will help you begin to put relationships back together for the glory of God.

Reconciliation requires you swallowing your pride.

An amazing experience - Jacob wrestled with God. He has a new name. Named that place Penuel. “I have seen God face to face and lived.” Jacob should have died, but he didn’t. Instead, he limped away from the presence of God.

Gen. 33 - Jacob far from perfect, but God’s changing him. Jacob learning to depend on God instead of scheming and deceiving.

On the way to the land of promise, after an encounter with God, Jacob ready to confront Esau.

It’s been 20 years, and the last words of Esau to Jacob: “I’m going to kill you...”

Jacob looked up and saw Esau and 400 men in the distance… Moment of truth… Even though he’s had an encounter with God, Jacob is still scared. Divides his family up, puts Rachel and Joseph, his favorites, last. If Esau kills everyone, they’ll be the last Esau gets to. Jacob tries to protect his favorites. Jacob is far from perfect, but he’s growing.

Jacob takes the lead and slowly approaches Esau… What’s running through his mind? He hasn’t seen his brother in 20 years… Seven times bows to the ground. Remarkable! This one who had stolen the blessing and birthright, who fought to put himself in a position above Esau, now bows before Esau - humbles himself.

Jacob changed by grace. God humbled Jacob and showed Jacob real blessing was found in submitting to His will not fighting. Stop fighting and do the right thing!

Jacob had prayed for deliverance from Esau - the way to deliverance was humility, not fighting.

No need for you to fight anyone either. Humble yourself before God and before others. Because God humbled Jacob, he could humble himself before Esau.

God has made you right with Himself in spite of yourself. When you have experienced the grace of God you can move towards people instead of away from people because you realize life is not about you. It’s about God who has called you to bless and not curse. You are a blessing when you pursue reconciliation.

Two responses to broken relationships:

Blame - “It’s not my fault.” Jacob could have blamed Esau. After all, it didn’t really seem like Esau cared about his birthright when Esau sold Jacob his birthright. Your relationships stay broken because you’re not willing to admit your wrongs. You always want to be right. You always want to defend yourself.

Avoidance - “I just won’t deal with it.” Live with broken relationships. Jacob could have done that, but he would always wonder “What if?” “What if Esau kills me?” You’re probably living with some “what if’s?” as well because of unwillingness to reconcile. What if your relationship was right with your parents? Friends?

My heart problem? 3,000 light LED tree… I’ve seen better… When you’ve seen grace… You’ve seen a better way… It motivates...

Instead, four questions you need to ask yourself about that broken relationship:

What did I do? Maybe the broken relationships isn’t completely your fault, but you probably contributed. What did you do? Be honest. Don’t shift the blame. Take responsibility. Jacob knew what he had done.

What has God done? He’s extended you grace. He’s promised to love you in spite of you. He’s promised to bless you even when you don’t deserve it.

What can I do? You can obey God. You know He wants you to take a step of faith toward that person you hurt. He wants you to attempt to reconcile the relationship. To shift blame or to avoid is to sin against God. You can humbly approach the person you wronged and confess your part in the conflict. You can ask for forgiveness.

What if I don’t do what I can do? It won’t get better. You’ll live with the “what if’s?” You’ll live with regret. You’ll be living disobedient to God which will affect your walk with God.

Reconciliation requires you trusting that God’s grace is sufficient.

As Jacob approached Esau - had to trust that God’s grace was sufficient. That God was going to be at work in this moment, and God as absolutely at work!

An unexpected response: Esau hugs, kisses, and weeps with Jacob.

Jacob shocked. He thought he was a dead man.

All of Jacob’s family bows down. Gifts have been sent. Esau wants to know why…

Jacob: “To find favor with you...” vs. 8 - Jacob a wealthy man. He’s been blessed. He had taken from Esau, but now restitution. He cheated Esau out of the blessing, but now he’s sharing his blessings with his brother.

vs. 9 - Esau: “I have enough… Keep it.” Esau not as intimidating as Jacob thought.

Jacob in disbelief. Why was Esau so kind to Jacob? Why was Esau so forgiving? Why was Esau so quick to embrace Jacob?

vs. 10 - “I have seen your face, and it is like seeing God’s face...” Jacob saw God’s face at Penuel and lived… In a sense, now in Esau’s presence, it’s like Penuel all over again. At Penuel Jacob got grace and not what he deserved. Now, in Esau’s presence, this man that Jacob had done such wrong against, Jacob gets grace again. What Jacob deserved was for Esau to beat the fool out of him, but instead, he gets the embrace of Esau just like Jacob had received the gracious embrace of God.

At Penuel, and now in Esau’s presence, Jacob got grace and mercy.

Not only does Esau embrace and forgive Jacob, he urges Jacob to go with him. He doesn’t want his 400 men to hurt Jacob’s family. He wants to send some of his 400 men with Jacob.

But, Jacob doesn’t go with Esau. Esau was going to Seir. Seir wasn’t the Promised Land. Seir wasn’t where Jacob was supposed to go. Jacob lies to Esau, and then he goes to Succoth and builds a house for himself. (Jacob is still a work in progress.) Then he goes to Shechem and buys a field. Shechem is in the Promised Land - the place where Abraham first entered the Promised Land in Gen. 12. God had been faithful to bring Jacob back to the Promised Land.

But… Is Shechem where Jacob was supposed to be? Wasn’t Bethel where God told Jacob he would bring him back to? Shechem will prove to be a costly detour… But, that’s getting ahead in our story.

Before we get to that story, here’s the question for us: why did Esau joyously receive Jacob after all that Jacob had done to him? God. God softened Esau’s heart. God was at work.

Since God is at work in reconciliation, you can take a step of faith toward reconciliation:

You can’t control the outcome, but you can control your response.

When you step in faith toward reconciliation, you step walking in the Spirit, not the flesh because you know God is at work.

You won’t always be embraced when you seek forgiveness - it may not seem like Go is at work - but He is - and He’s working through you and the way you handle the situation.

Jacob expected the opposite of what he received, and sometimes that’s what you will get: anger, bitterness, etc.

You can’t control the way people respond to you, but you can control your response to others. When someone rejects your attempt at reconciliation, instead of firing back hurtful words or actions, continue to fire back with love, grace, and the fruit of the Spirit.

Next time you’re working through conflict, keep your cool. Listen. Apologize. And be tenderhearted. (Ephesians 4:32)

You can’t control the outcome, but you can trust God’s grace.

In this case, there’s reconciliation, but that’s not always the case.

When relationships are restored, rejoice!

Sometimes all you can do is the right thing and leave it in the Lord’s hands. It’s up to God to change soften hearts.

God is at work giving you the ability to move forward even if your attempts at reconciliation don’t work out the way you want.

When God doesn’t soften a heart towards reconciliation, keep praying. Keep loving. Keep trusting that God can work.

Sometimes reconciliation doesn’t happen, but that does not mean God is not working in you. He’s teaching you to love when it’s hard, to persevere in prayer, to humble yourself, etc.

This story about God at work - reconciling Jacob to Himself in chapter 32 and reconciling Jacob to Esau in chapter 33. This is what God does! He reconciles!

See the face of God - You’ve seen the face of God in Jesus, and what you have seen in the face of Jesus is not death but reconciliation. (1 John 1:1)

Jacob pursues Esau. The sinner pursues, but only because the RIGHTEOUS ONE pursued him. (Gen. 28 and Gen. 32) GOSPEL: The RIGHTEOUS ONE has pursued you. You’re the One who has done wrong - but God has pursued you to open your eyes to your sin and to open your eyes to His grace.

Are you reconciled to God? Have you put your faith in the One who went to a cross and died the death you deserve and rose from the grave victoriously to put you in a right relationship with God?

If you are reconciled to God, you have the ministry of reconciliation. You have the responsibility to work to make relationships right. Who do you need to call this afternoon? Who do you need to stop by and see after church? What step of reconciliation do you need to make?