Identity Crisis PT 1

Identity: Who Are You?

Eagles and Turkeys

Once upon a time, a little eaglet fell to the ground from its nest high on a cliff. While blindly thrashing around, the baby eaglet was found by a flock of turkeys. Being kind, generous creatures, the turkeys proceeded to take the helpless eaglet under their wings and teach him everything he needed to know for survival. The tenderhearted turkeys taught the eaglet to forage for acorns when his tummy felt empty. Yet after eating until he was full, there was still a strange, unsatisfied hunger within his heart. Upon losing his down and growing pinions, he began flapping and flailing around. Of course he looked silly, and the turkeys could hardly keep from laughing. As his wings grew ridiculously big and bulky, he could never keep them neatly tucked like the other good turkeys. As a matter of fact, the more he grew, the less he looked like them. Meanwhile, the turkey hens clucked in motherly concern at his strangeness, making him all the more embarrassed and confused. On several occasions, the growing eaglet looked up and saw many mature eagles soaring far above the earth. His little heart pounded with desire to follow, but an old gobbler squawked, “No, no! You don’t want to be like them! Those up there are vultures!” Crushed and defeated, the eaglet grew to maturity without ever leaving the ground. He tried very hard to be a good turkey, but was still unhappy and didn’t know why. One day when the eagle was foraging on the forest floor, dragging his bulky, useless wings, a wise owl looked down from his perch and said to the eagle, “Whoo are you? And what are you doing?” The eagle replied, “I am a bad turkey. I try so hard, but I just can’t do anything right.” The old owl replied, “Your problem is that you don’t know who you are. You’ve been turkeyized. You’re an eagle, and eagles are meant for the sky. You’ll never be happy living down on the ground.” The eagle’s eyes were opened. He saw who he really was. He saw where he was meant to be. The eagle found the courage to try something he had never done before. He stretched out his wings and flapped to the top of a tree to see his way to the sky. The good turkeys raised their voices in astonishment. Many feared he would fall. But the eagle lifted his wings and rose with the currents of the wind. Never did he need to look back. The eagle could now do what he was meant to do … because he knew who he really was.

Hunt, June. 2008. Biblical Counseling Keys on Identity: Who Are You? Do You Know Who You Really Are?. Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

What is your real identity? What is an identity? Is your identity something you are born with? Is it changeable or never able to change?

If someone were to ask, “Who are you?” what would you say?

Many of us describe ourselves by what we do, such as “I am a school teacher,” or “I am an accountant.”

Others may have spent years studying genealogy charts tracing their roots to determine who they are through family lineage.

The real question on the table is this: Who are you in relationship to the One who created you?

1 Cor 4:4 “For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me.”

What Is Your Identity?

• The identity of a person is based on the distinguishing characteristics of that person.

• Your identity involves both your inner character and your outer conduct that distinguish you from everyone else.

• Your visible conduct should consistently reflect your inner character. This forms your identity.

Proverbs 27:19 “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.”

Psalm 139:13 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”

What Is the Difference between Your Inner Identity and Your Outer Identity?

The Visible You

— How you are known by others

a. Your personality

b. Your masks, pretenses, outer appearance

c. Your actions

Proverbs 20:11 “Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright.”

The Real You

— How you are known by God

a. Your basic nature

b. Your character

c. Your value system

Proverbs 21:2 “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

Now, our topic today, Identity Crisis

What Is an Identity Crisis? (two definitions/aspects)

An identity crisis is a period of difficult transition, such as adolescence or midlife, when the visible you severely conflicts with the real you

—causing pain, distress and a desire for change.

— “Who am I?”

— “What do I believe in?”

— “What values should I live by?”

— “What do I want to do with my life?”

Proverbs 15:21 “Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walks straight ahead.”

Two areas of identity crisis (role & relationship)

An identity crisis is a period of severe disillusionment when your identity is based on a role or relationship that has been changed or removed.

— The loss of a job:

Identity was in your career (a role).

— The loss of a spouse due to death or divorce:

Identity was in your marriage partner (a relationship).

— The “empty nest”:

Identity was in being a parent (a role).

— A move from a secure environment:

Identity was in your friends and family (a relationship).

— The onset of a disability:

Identity was in your ability to perform (a role).

— The loss of an intimate friendship:

Identity was in a cherished companion (a relationship).

— A financial loss:

Identity was in your social status (a role).

Job 6:13 “Have I any help in me, when resource is driven from me?”

What happens if you are caught in an identity crisis? What does this look like?

Inner Emotional Conflicts

Emotional conflicts within those who are struggling to establish a personal identity are common to every age group.

These feelings are related as much to external events as they are related to inner thoughts and preoccupations. •

Anxiety—“I don’t know who I really am.”

Depression—“I have no hope for the future.”

Self-doubt—“I am so inadequate.”

Self-consciousness—“I am unacceptable and unloved.”

Low self-worth—“I am not good enough.”

Psalm 13:2 “How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?”

Outer Evidence of Conflict

Outward evidence of conflict.

Inner emotional struggles with identity usually result in the following patterns of inconsistent behavior:

Oppositional attitude and actions

Difficulty in making a positive spiritual commitment

Unhealthy friendships

Inability to make decisions or impulsive decision making

Rejection of family values or blind acceptance of values of others

Struggles with sexual immorality

Difficulty in establishing intimacy

Excessive difficulty in choosing a career

Inability to set long-term goals

James 1:8 “he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

Biblical Foundation of Identity

What Causes the Struggle with Identity?

Most people experience confusion about who they really are because they lack a biblical understanding of what determines their identity

Our personal identity is determined by what “family” we are born into.

Spiritually, everyone is a descendant of Adam—we were born into “Adam’s family.”

No one in Adam’s family has the capacity to live as God designed us to live.

Gen 1:26 “Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.””

Ever since Adam made his choice to disobey God in the Garden of Eden, he and all his descendants have been identified with sin.

Gen 3:7 “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.”

The bible puts it this way

1 Cor 15:22 “For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.”

New Family

A new spiritual life is made possible in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. To embrace Him as your personal Lord and Savior is to inherit a new family and a new identity “in Christ.” With this new identity you will begin to develop Christlike character by choosing to rely on Him to deal with your daily problems.

What did we inherit in Adam?

Adam represents the humanistic view of life. —

The one in Adam sees human beings in control of events and circumstances.

The one in Adam believes there is no absolute truth; everything is relative.

The one in Adam believes in choosing one’s own moral restraints.

The one in Adam sees self-fulfillment as life’s highest purpose.

To be in Adam means that you are an heir to everything he was.

Romans 5:12 “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned—”

What do we inherit in Christ?

It’s appropriate that we focused today on helping those in foster care, because sin orphaned us spiritually.

God has made it possible for any individual to have a new identity by moving us out of the family of Adam and adopting us into the family of Christ.

Everyone in Christ experiences:

New Birth: John 3:3

John 3:3 “Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.””

New Heart: Ezekiel 36:23

Ezekiel 36:26 “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”

New Character: Romans 8:29

Romans 8:29 “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”

We reviewed what we inherit in Adam, but hear the perspective shift when we are adopted into a new family.

The one in Christ see God in control of events and circumstances

Proverbs 16:4 “The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.”

The one in Christ is set free by truth

John 8:31-32 “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.””

The one in Chist knows moral absolutes that establish godly behavior.

Psalm 119:4 “You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently.”

The one in Christ see fulfilling the will of God as life’s highest purpose.

Matthew 7:21 ““Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

To be in Christ means that you are an heir to everything He is.

Galatians 3:29 “And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.”

Next week we will dig into more regarding how we shift our perspectives into see our identity rooted in Christ.

But it starts with this question: What family do you belong to?

Do you find yourself in Adam

Or can you celebrate being adopted into the new family of Christ?