Watch Your Tongue!

We are starting a new series today, / / Did I just Say That?!?!?! As I said last week, I love taking the month of November and focusing on Thanksgiving because I believe that giving thanks is one of the most powerful tools in our belt as Christians. Now, that title might not sound like much of a Thanksgiving Title for a sermon series. But trust me, this is where it’s at!

The reality is that Giving Thanks redirects us, it focuses us, it centers our thoughts and actions from what could be to what should be.

1 Thessalonians is one of Pauls letters, written to the church in a city called Thessalonica, which is to this day, still a city in modern day Greece. At the time of Paul’s letter it was a very young church, only having been started 2-3 months before this letter is written. Timothy had given Paul a good report, but of course, as is the case with most of Paul’s letters to the churches, he’s writing them to correct them, encourage them and give them scriptural foundation to live by. This was a new world, everyone was learning what it meant to be a Christian. I can relate!

I often talk about context when it comes to reading the bible, right? Well, imagine for a moment that all of these churches Paul is writing to are in cities that are completely inundated with pagan worship. Greek gods and goddesses, statues and shrines. This is the world they live in. Context here is no different. The reason it’s important to know that the church that Paul is writing to here is so young, is because what he’s writing here are the types of things you tell someone that is completely new to something. You give them the basics, the foundation of it all. You explain how things work. You teach them how to start and how to establish this new thing they are doing.

So, as we read what Paul is writing to this new church in Thessalonica, for us it’s a window into what he felt was most important to share with them as they started this journey of following Jesus. And this is what Paul writes at the end of his first letter. It’s in 1 Thessalonians 5:12-22, / / Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other. …we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. Do not scoff at prophecies, but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil.

What a great encouragement. As I was reading that this week I thought, if we just took that, and studied it really well and broke it down piece by piece and modeled our lives by it, we would be in GREAT shape.

/ / Honor your leaders.

Show respect where respect is due.

Live at peace with each other

Warn the lazy to get to work.

Encourage the timid to be confident.

Take care of those weaker than you.

Be patient with everyone.

Don’t repay evil with more evil.

Do good to each other (and everyone).

Always be joyful.

Never stop praying.

Be thankful in everything.

Prioritize the Holy Spirit.

Give place for God’s voice.

Focus on what is good.

Walk away from evil.

And we’re done. Seriously. That about sums up what we should be focusing on. If we took that list to heart our lives would dramatically improve, I can guarantee that!

And remember, like I said, context is important. This is written to a new church, to people who are just learning what it means to be followers of Jesus. And smack dab in the middle of this incredibly important list is:

/ / Be thankful in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

If you noticed, not every item had an explanation, most just gave direction about what to do, but this one specifically says, “for this is God’s will for you...”

And you could argue that maybe he’s talking about the whole list here, but his list isn’t done, he continues after this, and if I was writing this I would have specifically stated that in a new sentence AFTER the list is done. Finish the list, and then say, “Now, do all of these things because this is the will of God for you who are in Christ Jesus...” But that’s not what happens here, it’s in the same sentence, about being thankful, emphasizing the need for giving thanks.

I’m not saying this makes it the most important thing on this list, but I am saying that there’s something about giving thanks that was so important that it was a standout part of this list.

Why is this? Well, first of all, this isn’t the first time God has said to be thankful. And Paul knows the scripture very well, and clearly sees that the importance of giving thanks is in direct contrast to what naturally comes easy to us.

Paul contrasts this thought in his letter to the Philippian church, which he had helped start as well. In Philippians 2:12-14 he writes to them, / / Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Do everything without complaining and arguing...

Paul....dude. Come on. Do you know how hard that is? So, I’m in a local establishment on Friday evening. And I’ve been there before, and I’ve been in this same situation before. I’ve ordered my food. The app told me it would be ready at a certain time. I get there, and some of their machines aren’t working, they seem quite disorganized, there is ample opportunity to be very frustrated. Of course, my food is not ready. I wait for a few minutes, nothing. This nice lady comes in, goes to the counter, orders her food, is waiting next to me. I’ve asked if my food is ready, they asked my name for the order.... still waiting.

A few minutes later someone comes around with an order packaged up ready to go, and calls this ladies name. Ya, the lady who just came in 5 minutes ago, put her order in and is walking out with food when I put my order in online 40 minutes ago now…

How do you handle that situation? My blood is on the edge of boiling now, right? I walked over and as calmly as I possibly could, I explained that I felt like I should have received my food quite some time ago, or at least, before the lady who ordered 30 minutes after me...

And in that moment I sent Kelley a text message and said… Good reminder as to why God has us doing a series on giving thanks over complaining, because it’s just way to easy, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter how far I think I’ve come. It doesn’t matter how much I’ve learned, how much I’ve changed, the opportunity is always there. I can blame it on being hangry. I can blame it on their incompetence. I can try and say, “You made me feel this way...” But in the end, only I am responsible for my actions and reactions. I hope that in that moment I conducted myself in a way that represented the heart of Christ rather than the heart of Rob. I really did work in the moment to understand the frustration I was feeling, and not allow it to turn into complaining, but to keep my composure and respond accordingly.

I’m not saying you don’t speak up. And I’m not saying you get walked over or taken advantage of, but over these next three weeks we’re going to be looking at focusing and prioritizing an attitude of gratitude in our lives. We’re going to look at the value of giving thanks. Why it is so important.

And today, I want to do something that might not be done anymore, but certainly was when I was a child. I’m gonna wash our mouths out with soap.

Sometimes we need to look at what goes wrong, so that we can replace it with what needs to go right.

Our series this month is, / / DID I JUST SAY THAT? Giving Thanks When I Would Rather Complain

Not only does it takes a conscious effort to choose to give thanks, but it also takes a conscious effort to choose NOT to complain. Because as much power a there is in giving thanks, there’s equally as much power in our complaints.

Power in our complaints? Don’t they just fall away after it’s over? No, they don’t actually. Our words have power, whether we are using them for good or ill. Positive or Negative words not only have impact in the moment, but they are like seeds that are planted into the soil of our lives that grow and eventually reap a harvest.

One of my favorite verses in the bible, admittedly I have quite a few, but this one stands out quite often, is Proverbs 18:21, it says, / / The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

The book of Proverbs actually talks quite a bit about keeping silent, knowing when to talk, what kind of trouble talking can get us in to. Because the words we use are important.

/ / Our Words Have Power

In the book of Genesis we read the account of God creating the universe, and I want you to listen to how God creates things.

Starting right at the beginning, Genesis 1:1, / / In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that that light was good.

We don’t need to read the whole story, but here’s the important part that repeats over and over again throughout Genesis 1.

vs 3, / / Then God said...

vs 6, Then God said...

vs 9, Then God said...

vs 11, Then God said...

vs 14, Then God said...

vs 20, Then God said...

vs 24, Then God said...

vs 26, Then God said...

With everything God created, he spoke it into existence. Why is that important? I believe that everything God does he does out of the heart of a Good Father, wanting to show his children how to live life. He is constantly giving example of how to be like him.

Let me ask you this:

If God is God. I mean, all powerful. All knowing. All mighty. Why would he need to speak anything to create something? My guess is he doesn’t. My guess is God can do without speaking. He can create entire worlds out of nothing without a single word. When we think of creating we think of taking what exists to make something. A painting, but taking paint, brushes and a canvas. A piece of furniture by taking wood, nails, glue and sandpaper. But God is the only true creator, he brings INTO existence what did NOT exist before that moment. And He constantly puts understandable action to what he does to show us something.

I believe in these moments of creation, God is doing something in a limited way so that the humanity he is about to create will hear this story and understand the power of the word.

See, the only thing in this creation story that God DIDN’T speak into being is humanity itself. With everything he says it’s a command for something to happen, and the response is that it happens.

/ / Then God said, “Let there be light… let there be space between the waters of the heavens from the waters of the earth (atmosphere), let the waters beneath the sky flow together so dry grown may appear…let the land sprout with vegetation…let lights appear…let the waters swarm with fish and other life, let the skies be filled with birds…let the earth produce every sort of animal...”

With everything he created he said, let there be, let it happen, and it happened....until it came to humanity. Instead of speaking into the very space and time something that was not, this time he speaks to himself. Genesis 1:26, / / Then God said, “Let US make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

And here’s the most amazing part, in Chapter 2 of Genesis it revisits the creation of Adam & Eve and says this in vs 7, / / Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.

Completely different process. Everything else he just spoke into being. This, he took his time, he shaped and molded us and then breathed HIS LIFE into us through His breath. Creating humanity is the result of the most intimate process, and that’s still true today.

You are created in God’s image. Male & female, all of us. Created in the very image of God. We call ourselves a masterpiece for a reason!

The NLT says, / / Let us make human beings in our image, to be LIKE us.

The ESV says, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.

That word likeness means similar to, or in comparison. And listen to the mandate given to Adam & Eve from God, Genesis 1:28, / / “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

And remember that part, it’s going to be very important in just a minute. But do you see this? God the Creator, the ruler of the universe, Almighty God, just handed over the reins to His newly created universe.

And what is this story? The story is, “I created all of this with a word… Let there be...”

And as we continue to read what happened with Adam & Eve what’s the first problem they run into? It’s a challenge to that very thing… / / “Did God really say...”

If you don’t remember the story. God creates Adam & Eve, he’s made a garden, a home for them, and in the garden there are all manner of trees they can eat from, and the only instruction he gives them is not to eat from one of those trees. That’s it. And he says if they do eat from that one tree, they are sure to die.

So when the serpent comes, who is satan, the deceiver, who the bible calls the father of lies, he says, / / “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

That should have tipped them off.

Why are you playing with words? But, Eve says, / / “Of course we can eat from the trees, it’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’ “

Hold up…I’ve read it, re-read it, gone back and read it again… God did NOT say that. He did not say you can’t touch it. Why are you playing with words?

And the serpent responds, / / “You won’t die! God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

What’s just happened here?

Genesis 1:26 says very clearly, / / GOD SAID, that word for God is elohim, let us make human beings in our image, in our likeness. to be like us, in comparison to us.

So where does the devil get this idea that this hasn’t already happened, and why didn’t Adam & Eve respond in this way?

One of the ways the enemy will always try to trip you up is to get you to doubt the word of God. This is why reading the bible is so vitally important to our Christian life. This is why people get confused so often, because they don’t have a foundation of truth.

Adam & Eve could have said, “We already are like God. That’s how he made us, in His image… ”

And maybe that’s the enemies complaint against us. That we are made in God’s image and that we are the only ones who received the breath of life straight from God himself…

They mess up, they eat the fruit, their eyes are opened, they realize they are naked, feel shame for their actions and hide from God.

And when God asks what happened, Eve says, “I was deceived.” If the enemy can deceive you, you change your tone. Up to this point they believed what God had said. There was no reason not to. But then they let something contrary to that truth get ahold of them. And at the very center of it was a complaint against God, “He is hiding something from you. He says he created you like him, but I’m telling you, it’s not until you eat this fruit that you’ll really be like him...”

I think God was trying to show them, through his own actions, how he designed our story - With the same breath that God used to speak into existence all we now know, he breathed that life into us and gave us life. So, that same breath, the power of words to create life was breathed in to us and in that moment Adam and Eve had every right and the God given authority to rule over every living creature that scurries on the ground, snakes included, to say, “Get out of here...” but they didn’t.

Your words can produce life. This is what your heavenly Father is teaching you through how he creates. But the opposite is equally true, like we read in Proverbs, / / The tongue can bring death or life; and it continues, those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

The ESV says it this way, / / Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

That is actually really well explained in the previous vs. Proverbs 18:20 says, / / From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

Basically, / / What you speak becomes the meal you eat!

/ / 2. Wash that mouth!

We need to wash our mouths out with soap. We need to stop and think about how we talk.

Do we put people down?

Do we speak negative things over our children?

Do we point out peoples struggles and shortcomings?

How are we using our words?

I’m as guilty as the next person and the Lord probably has the biggest bar of soap for me, but how often do we make ourselves feel better by adding a little pleasantry to the beginning of a conversation, “I really love them, but man....” “No offence, but...” “I don’t mean to be rude but...”

Kaylee, for whatever reason, picked that up from somewhere, and most of the time she’s not being rude at all, but she picked up from somewhere, “Not to be rude but...”

So when I hear her say that, I cut her off immediately and say, “If you have to start with you don’t mean to be rude, whatever it is you’re about to say probably shouldn’t be said...”

We’re dealing with this in our lives at the moment. Kaylee is in third grade and at a new school with new kids, and not all of them are nice. And she’s come up against some mean things and some things that we’re having to work through. I was driving her to school the other morning and we were having a bit of a heart to heart and I told her that when I was her age I got called a lot of really mean names because I was always bigger than the other kids.

And revisiting those things makes you realize how much of an impact those words have on us. Why? Because words have power. And I know, on the receiving end of it, how much those words produced death in my own life. The insecurity it bread. The depression it pushed me into.

And one of the biggest culprits we face in this is ourselves. Because when we hear it from others enough we tend to believe it, and when we believe it, we recycle it over and over again in our minds.

How many times in your life have you said something like:

I’m just not good at this.

I never get this right.

I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid.

I always fail. I never win. I’m always the last one. I always pick the slow line. I should have known better. I’m no good at tests. I’m not smart. I’m not fast. I’m not strong enough. I’m not I’m not I’m not...

***puke on the table of our life, and eat it…***

/ / “From the fruit of a man’s mouth [what you say], his stomach will be satisfied [is what you get]...”

So, whether we’re speaking to ourselves, or talking about someone we don’t like, or maybe someone we do like, maybe our spouse, maybe our kids, our friends, our family, what we say has the power to produce life or death, so we ought to choose our words very carefully.

Remember what Paul said to the early christians in Philippians 2:14, / / Do everything without complaining and arguing.

Here’s the thing, the psychology word has been preaching this forever. The Bible laid the foundation, and science was like, “yup, it’s true… this stuff really effects you.”

And it’s true whether we are saying it to ourselves, of if we are saying it to someone else, the reality is, if we allow words to take root they have serious impact. One article I read described these areas of effect.

/ / Negative words limit our thinking - the more you tell yourself you can’t do something, the more you believe it which impacts whether or not you’ll try something again, or for the first time. It causes fear as well.

/ / Negative words project the need for perfection - if we’re constantly being put down, or putting ourselves down, what we do isn’t good enough, and we’ll be stuck in a loop of always trying to be perfect.

/ / Negative words are a breading ground for depression - I had this happen in my life. I heard enough from others that I believed it, and once I believed it I had no issues telling myself what was wrong with me over and over again, how I would never change, how my situation would never change. And when you feel helpless, you feel hopeless, and when you feel hopeless you feel despair.

/ / Negative words & attitudes have serious impact on our relationships - whether you are hearing it from someone else, or you’re hearing it from yourself, OR you’re the one saying it to them, / / Healthy relationships, whether it is our friends, our families, or our intimate relationships, are built on encouragement and positive reinforcement, not negativity and complaining.

Did you know that when you complain, your body releases cortisol, which is the stress hormone. Cortisol shifts you into fight or flight mode, directing oxygen, blood and energy away from everything but the systems that are essential to immediate survival. It raises your blood pressure and your blood sugar which has negative physical health impacts as well.

One article I read said that there’s research that shows most people complain once a minute during a typical conversation. And there’s something oddly comforting or it feels good when we complain. And the brain is created to reinforce behaviors, in a good way, but if the behavior is a negative one, it works for that too. This is why Romans 12:2 says we need a complete renovation of the mind if we want to see true transformation, because it’s in the mind and heart that what we speak comes out of.

So, we’re washing our mouths out with soap. What’s that mean, it means we’re resetting the stage. We’re saying enough is enough. Because it’s time to start being nice to yourself and nice to the people around you.

So, here’s the practical part of this:

/ / 1. Acknowledge

You have to be willing to recognize that you have a potty mouth. I don’t mean cursing, although that’s no great either, but I mean what you are using your words for. What is the intent? What is the purpose? How are those words impacting other people, and how are they impacting us personally?

We’ve just spent 6 weeks talking about Grace & Mercy, and in the midst of that, looking at the reality that All have sinned, All of us have fallen short of God’s glorious standard. If sin is simply falling short of God’s glorious standard, we have to ask ourselves the very simple question, / / do our words hit that mark?

Do we really think that putting our kids down is up to God’s glorious standard?

Do we really think that pointing out their flaws meets God’s high mark?

Do we believe that complaining about our boss, our neighbor, our business competition, our friends, family, spouse, children anyone for that matter, is it what God desires of us?

Do you truly believe that you putting yourself down, reminding yourself of your flaws over and over again is God’s standard for your life?

No, of course not. When you say it like that, of course not. How many times do we have to tell the person beside us that we’re a masterpiece before we start to believe it ourselves?

Step one of any issue is to acknowledge we have an issue. James 1:22, / / But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

We know there is no condemnation for anyone who is a believer in Jesus Christ. So this is not me up here telling you that you’re doing something wrong and you should feel ashamed of yourself, because, that would be directly against what I’m preaching. This is simply an invitation and an opportunity to recognize that most likely, ok, I can’t speak for you, but I don’t always get this right. I say things I shouldn’t say. I complain. I fall short of God’s beautiful, glorious standard for my life, time and time again. And I know it. So, what do we do about it?

/ / 2. Repent

I know, heavy word, but it’s the path to freedom. If you recognize you fall short, then the next step is to recognize that you will most likely always fall short. Left to our own devices, we probably aren’t strong enough to do it on our own. And that’s not something to get upset or sad about. Romans 12:2 doesn’t say, Be transformed by changing the way you think, it says, / / …be transformed by allowing God to change the way that you think.

We say what we think, and if we want to change what we say, we need to change how we think. Psychology shows that the mind trains itself over time, the more we do something, the more it is engrained in us. Things become habitual. Thought patterns become, just what we think. And the lie is, we’re too old to change, or we’re stuck in our ways, or it’s no bid deal anyway.

It is a big deal. You know why it’s a big deal? Because we are literally causing death with our words. …killing me softly, with his song...

James 3:7-10 says, People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can dame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!

Darn right it’s not right!

Now, what I mean by repent is not, fix yourself. We’ve already established that isn’t the easiest thing to do. In Matthew 3:2 it says that before Jesus started his ministry, John the Baptist was preparing the way, and his message was, / / “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

Then in Matthew 4:17, After Jesus is baptized, receives the Holy Spirit, it says, From that time Jesus began to preach, saying, / / “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

The word / / repent doesn’t mean, fix yourself, it means to think differently, to reconsider, to change one’s mind for better.

And we’ve already established that the way to transformation is what? to allow GOD to change the way we think. John & Jesus both saying, “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” is not them saying, You better repent because if you don’t the king is going to judge you and punish you. It’s saying, “It’s time to reconsider how you do things and how you think, because the Kingdom of God is here and if you allow it to transform you, if you will believe in this Jesus Christ, God will renovate your mind, change the way you think and as a result, you will see transformation and experience LIFE.”

That’s been the invitation all along, hasn’t? Even in the garden of Eden, there were 2 trees in the center of the garden, one was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which go them into trouble, the other was the tree of life. And the bible says that when Adam & Eve sinned, and their eyes were opened, God had to make the decision to remove them permanently from the garden SO THAT they would not eat from the tree of life and live forever, with their sin. Jesus came to fulfill all things so that we could receive life. He said, MY PURPOSE is that you would have a rich and satisfying LIFE. And See, it all plays together. If we change the way we think, we start to speak differently, and if we stop speaking words that cause death, we make room for words that produce life.

/ / 3. Hold

Hold your tongue. Do whatever it takes to stop yourself. Catch yourself. Ask God to help you, ask your friends to call you on it. Don’t let yourself speak what shouldn’t be said. If our words have power and that includes the power to cause harm, to produce death, then let’s do whatever we can to stop that.

Proverbs 21:23 says, / / Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Ephesians 4:29 says, / / Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths...

James 1:26, / / If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

David prayed in Psalm 39:1, / / “I will guard my ways, that I may not sin with my tongue; I will guard my mouth with a muzzle...”

1 Peter 3:10, / / “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.”

And in the words of the tiny bunny, Thumper, from Disney’s Bambi, / / “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all...”

/ / 4. Commit

If we truly want change, we have to be willing to commit to the process with the Spirit of God and allow Him to do a work in us that we cant do ourselves. Make a commitment today to do things differently. To allow God to change you and heal you, renovate the way you think, so that you will be transformed!

If this message hasn’t been for you, I bless you this morning, but if this has resonated with you at all. You are like me and can truly identify with the fact that I say some things I shouldn’t say. I think some things I shouldn’t think. I act in ways that I don’t want to admit are producing death, but maybe I’m ok with at least admitting they aren’t producing life...

I want you to pray with me this morning.

Father God, I acknowledge that my words have fallen short of your glorious standard. I admit I have said things that hurt people. I admit I have put people down. I have used words against people. Forgive me. I want true repentance. The way I think to be changed. Would you give me your kingdom. Would you give me your grace. Would you have mercy on me and do a renovation in my mind. Tear down how I used to think. Build me up in your truth and love. Give me a courage and a strong conscience to catch myself so I can live with self-control and put an end to speaking death, SO THAT, I can begin to speak life!