Wanting to Live

9 -lives

The stories that make meesho one of a kind are endless! He was one of a kind for many reasons, and last night many of those stories were shared as we celebrated his life.

One of my personal favorites, probably second to the night he shaved my head bald, has to do with his less than superb driving record and the talking car. We were coming back late at night from somewhere and as we were pulling out of a deserted parking lot he manged to run into a light post. I have no idea how, but that’s what made him Meesho!

A lesson through Suffering

Apart from the stories and amazing friendships he held with so many, he was unique for the suffering he endured through out his life. Its in his suffering that Meesho has imparted to us the greatest gift, because he showed us how to suffer well and why its important to see suffering through to the end.

Given Meesho’s long history of medical problems starting back in 1995, and after multiple scares, we had a running joke in the family that Meesho had 9-lives. No one knew better how to escape death so many times and live to tell about it time and again. While the joke no longer carries the same laughter there is a great lesson in it for all of us.

Suffering and Priorities

As Meesho battled health complication over the years, the toll on his body began to catch up with him. In the last couple years you could tell things were getting more serious evident by the frequency and severity of the problems. With each scare he became more limited in his ability to live the vibrant life we know him for. But as the limits began to set in and therapeutic options became fewer, the value of life became even more real for Mike. All the things that were important to him, but were buried by various pursuits and complexities of life, began to re-surface. As they surfaced he courageously took them on, assigning priority to his relationship with God. As his condition progressively declined, he continually turned to God for guidance and strength. This re-orientation of life towards the creator is one of the beautiful, albeit , hidden gifts of suffering. Meesho, through his suffering he was gaining perspective on what was really important, which is something many of us, myself included, fail to grasp apart from suffering.

Suffering: Loosening one grip but grabbing Christ

His suffering began to open the eyes of his heart leading him to change his posture, from one that was facing the world to one that was learning to trust and rely on God, as his control over life slowly slipped away from his hands. In conversations I had with him over last couple years as compared to 10 years ago, it was clear to see God was at work deep in his soul. It was an awesome and sacred transformation to witness.

As the suffering increased, so did his grasp of God evident by the steps he took to return to his father. His recently reconciliation with the church and it sparked a deep transformation in him. He established a relationship with an FOC and at every opportunity, he was at liturgy partaking of the true body and blood of His savior, who suffered for meeesho, and all of us, so that we can live.

St. Paul captures what was happening in meesho when he said Phil 3.10-11

Philippians 3:10–11 NASB95

10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; 11 in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Meesho was giving up one life, but holding on to another, all because of his suffering. There was a tension inside of him as he reflected and grieved the freedom he once had to live how he wanted but at the same time there was a deeper joy he was finding through his fellowship of Suffering.

As Meesho entered Cedars-Sinai, finally getting on the transplant list, there was a renewed hope in Mike. Though a match was never found, he took each day as a blessing and found nothing to complain about, for God had renewed a spirit of gratitude in him.

Wanting to live

As things took a drastic turn for the worse in the 2 weeks prior to his death, the fear that Meesho may have be running out of his 9-lives was setting in.

On the day Meesho departed, I was blessed with the opportunity to spend the day at his bedside with his wife Anna, who had been a rock of unwavering support to him from day 1. At his bedside in the final hours, she said a few times, how much Mike wanted to live…he really wanted to live.

As I have since had time to reflect on that statement I have, and I hope you will to, find comfort in knowing that finally he is living! Our grief and sadness is evidence enough that we have a different definition of living than God. We all wanted to see him live here with us, which is natural but it is in part because we hold on tight to this world. Meesho, through his suffering learned to loosen his grip on this world, even if it meant loosing his hold on amazing relationships, but in the process he found life, true life.

Revelation paints a picture for us of what is to come and its important to visit this verse amidst our grief and sorrow so we have a clearer picture of what is to come, because it is the opposite of what we feel now.

Revelation 21:4 NKJV

4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

Embracing Suffering

Meesho, suffered long but most importantly he suffered well. I hope that his life serves as a reminder to embrace the gift and mystery of suffering. As it lead Meesho down a journey that ended in the embrace of the Savior, it can also lead us down that road and it is a road worth traveling.

Meesho, you had 9 lives and we all were blessed with so many memories and lessons you taught us through your life and we will cherish them. But you finally got it right on this 10th one…this one life is the only one that matters and you got it right on this one and you’ll enjoy this one eternally!