What does it mean to be a godly father?Untitled Sermon

What does it mean to be a godly father?

Fatherhood was one of the first jobs God gave men. Immediately after creating Adam and Eve, God commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). One of His primary purposes for marriage was offspring who would fill the earth with God’s praise and glory. However, providing sperm for conception is merely the beginning of God’s expectation for fathers. Sperm can make a child, but it takes a real man to be a father. Some men who want to be good fathers have little understanding of what godly fatherhood looks like, so this article will explore some characteristics of a godly father. 1. A godly father knows God. It should go without stating, but many men want their children to have a relationship with God but do not have such a relationship with God themselves. They let their wives take the kids to church, trust the preacher to instill godly values, and assume they are being what they need to be because they provide exposure to godliness. But children model what they see. If Dad does not consider obedience to God important, why should they? If Dad doesn’t lead the family spiritually, it must not be a priority. So godly fatherhood begins within the heart of a man. He considers his own relationship with God the most important one in his life and models that godliness for his children. 2. A godly father loves and honors his wife. It has been said that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. When children grow up watching healthy, loving interactions between their parents, they naturally seek to imitate that in their own marriages. Sadly, children often do not see their fathers and mothers loving each other. Even if a man is divorced or single, he can still model respectful behavior toward his child’s mother; if he is remarried, he can demonstrate a loving relationship with his current wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28). 3. A godly father accepts responsibility for his children’s spiritual training. Too often, the children’s training is left to the mother while the father considers a paycheck his contribution to the family. While providing financially for a family is an important responsibility for fathers (1 Timothy 5:8), it is not their only responsibility. While he may delegate much of the day-to-day teaching to his wife, a godly father still bears responsibility. For example, he should pray with his children and talk with them about what the Bible teaches. He encourages Christian character in his children by his example as well as his words of instruction and the expectations of behavior he sets forth for and enforces with his children. 4. A godly father is continually aware of his influence. “Do what I say, not what I do” has been the unfortunate attitude of many fathers. Little eyes observe and learn from watching Dad’s behavior, regardless of what he says he believes. Sons, in particular, need male role models to show them how to become men. Dads may not realize it, but everything they do is influencing their children. Words alone are not enough. Consider what a child might learn from these fatherly instructions: • “Church is important, so you guys go, but I’m staying home to watch football.” • “Don’t you lie to me, but tell that person on the phone that I’m not here.” • “I just cussed out our neighbor, but if I hear you guys saying those words, you’re gonna get it.” • “Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Now bring me a beer and my cigarettes.” 5. A godly father models selfless service. Much of Jesus’ earthly life was given to serving others. As followers of Jesus, we are to imitate that service (Matthew 20:28). Godly fathers figure out ways to involve their little ones in that service. “Let’s go over and mow Mrs. Jones’ yard. Her husband had surgery, and she’s got a new baby.” When children grow up watching Dad quietly serve the Lord without expectation of reward, they internalize those values. 6. A godly father is consistent. Nothing confuses children more than inconsistency, either in discipline or example. A father who is angry one minute and loving the next creates insecurity in his children. Dads need to be careful that they don’t take out their frustrations on their children and later excuse their behavior by saying, “I was just upset.” Godly fathers channel their anger where it needs to go, they practice forgiveness, and they never allow anger to create confusion in their children. If Dad says he is going to do something, he’d better do it. Children need to know what to expect from their fathers. 7. A godly father disciplines his children appropriately. Discipline is part of child-rearing and should not be ignored or solely delegated to the wife. Hebrews 12:9–10 reminds us that earthly fathers disciplined us for our own good and our heavenly Father does the same. Wise discipline helps children learn to control themselves and keeps them out of serious trouble (Proverbs 13:24; 18:19). Correct discipline is not abusive, vengeful, or sporadic. A child should know where the boundary lines are, and he should also know with absolute certainty what happens when he crosses those lines. 8. A godly father does not allow himself to be controlled by outside influences. Addictions, such as alcohol, drugs, or pornography, often create a home environment marked by insecurity, fear, and depression. Fathers who display addictive behaviors often teach their children to do the same. Godly fathers are controlled only by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). Children tend to adopt whatever gods their parents consistently worshiped; thus, alcohol and drug abuse is passed from generation to generation (see Exodus 20:4–5). However, children who watch their fathers run to Jesus with their problems can learn to imitate that healthy behavior. 9. A godly father is a man under authority. Due to his sinful nature, a man will fight to be his own boss. In many cultures, it is considered admirable to “answer to no one.” However, Jesus demonstrated that He was a Man under the authority of His heavenly Father (John 5:19; 12:49). He readily gave credit to God for His successes and submitted Himself fully to the will of God (John 8:29). A godly father will live as a man under God’s authority and that of God-given earthly institutions, such as employment, church, and government (1 Peter 2:18; Romans 13:1–2; Hebrews 13:17). 10. A godly father will lead. The world is in desperate need of men who will lead wisely. Leadership is not domination or control. A leader is one who goes first. He sets the pace for the family by practicing what he preaches. He is on the lookout for dangers and takes initiative to protect his family from them. He meets first with God so that, when he presents a plan to his family, they have confidence that he is following the direction of the Holy Spirit. He leads them to a healthy, Bible-teaching church. He leads them in personal devotions. He leads them away from worldliness. He leads his wife as her confidant and champion. He leads his children to come to know Christ. He leads in his community through charitable service and wise counsel. He leads at church by serving according to his gifts. And he leads other men to follow his example. He is a man that his children can be proud of (Proverbs 17:6). Regardless of a man’s past or his own parentage, he has the potential to be a godly father. The qualifications for an elder or deacon found in 1 Timothy 3:1–12 are a good standard for all of us. A father who adheres to those guidelines will do well. If he seeks the Lord with all his heart (Proverbs 3:5–6), strives to keep his priorities straight, and lets love and humility define him, any Christian father can become a man that his children are honored to call “Dad.

Why are fathers told, “Do not provoke your children” (Colossians 3:21)?

In Colossians 3:18–21, the apostle Paul summarized his instructions concerning Christian family life in four concise directives: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (ESV). The word for “provoke” in the original Greek language means “to irritate or arouse feelings such as anger, hurt, shame, and fear to the point of exasperation.” Other translations render the phrase as “do not exasperate” (CSB), “do not aggravate” (NLT), “do not drive to resentment” (JB ), “do not nag” (NCV), and “do not embitter” (NIV). The image is of an overbearing disciplinarian who constantly corrects and rebukes a child for every little mistake or perceived wrong. Such a father will provoke his children. The Greek word translated “discouraged” is found only here in the New Testament. It speaks of becoming disheartened or “losing spirit.” According to A Handbook on Paul’s Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon, such a discouraged child will close down his heart and hide inside himself. “The child feels that he can never do anything right and so gives up trying” The term father in Colossians 3:21 speaks directly of the male parent. Of course, the rule to not provoke one’s children ought to encompass both father and mother, but Paul reminds us that fathers hold the critical responsibility as head of the household. “The Christian father is not to overcorrect or harass his children, or they will become discouraged, which refers to ‘a listless, sullen resignation—a broken spirit.’ To be discouraged as a child means to think things like, I’ll never get it right, or, All he does is criticize, or, He’ll never love me. John Newton is reported to have said, ‘I know that my father loved me—but he did not seem to wish me to see it.’ Christian fathers should be sure their children are as sure of their love as they are of their authority” Yes, children are called to honor and obey their parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1–2, Colossians 3:20), but parents must not abuse their authority. They must treat their children with dignity, respect, patience, and love. Parents are called to encourage their children. They do this by teaching each child the principles of God’s Word and promoting life-affirming, positive creativity in the child, stirring him to have confidence in his God-given uniqueness and to believe that he can do what he otherwise may never have achieved. Endless criticism, emotional and physical neglect, and overly harsh discipline will defeat a child’s spirit. One commentator writes, “Constant nagging produces a situation where children are discouraged either because they cannot please those they love or because they feel they are of no worth to anybody” Such provocation is not of God and will crush a child’s heart to the point of his becoming fearful, timid, and withdrawn. He will grow up disheartened, lacking the necessary confidence to succeed and believe he can be all God created him to be. In a teaching on family relationships to the Ephesian church, Paul exhorted fathers, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). The language suggests a positive, nurturing, and faith-infused environment where children will see their father’s genuine commitment to the Lord. Parents, and especially fathers, play a critical role in representing God to their children. Just as “the Lord disciplines those he loves” (Hebrews 12:6, NLT), mothers and fathers ought to discipline their children, but with love as their primary motivation, so that “afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way” (Hebrews 12:11, NLT). Growing up in a Christian home is meant to be a positive, foundation-building, uplifting experience where parents “start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Children need to see God’s love and character modeled through their parents’ lives. Such modeling will make it easier to live by the maxim to “listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck” (Proverbs 1:8–9, NLT).

What does it mean to be a godly mother?

A godly mother is a woman who represents the heart of Christ to her children. She is continually aware of her influence over their lives and futures and makes sacrifices whenever necessary for their welfare. Godly mothers are first godly women. They are not one way at home and another way in public. Even when her children do not have a godly father, a mother can have a great impact on her children’s spiritual future. The following are some characteristics of a godly mother: 1. She knows God. A godly mother wants her children to be godly, and she leads the way. A mother cannot pass on to her children values and qualities that she does not possess. So the first step in becoming a godly mother is surrendering to the lordship of Jesus. Only then is her soul restored (Psalm 23:3), her life recreated (2 Corinthians 5:17), and her mind renewed (Romans 12:2). 2. She understands her role in marriage and the family. As part of sin’s curse, women struggle with wanting to control their husbands (Genesis 3:16). But God decreed that husbands and fathers should carry the weight of responsibility for their families (1 Corinthians 11:3). A godly wife will gracefully bow to that leadership and model for her children godly submission to authority. Even when husbands and fathers are not worthy of such respect, godly mothers do not bad-mouth them to the children. Divorced or single mothers can be godly mothers as they teach their children of God’s plan for marriage and demonstrate purity and wisdom in their own dating relationships. 3. She does not neglect her own health and well-being. Often, we equate personal martyrdom with humility and service, but it need not be that way. Godly mothers model for their children healthy self-respect and boundaries. A godly mother knows that wearing herself out acting as a slave to her children is not good for anyone. She will give selflessly to her children, but she will also carve out time to rejuvenate herself because she knows that, if she is not healthy, her children will also suffer. 4. She seizes teachable moments to instill biblical truths. A godly mother is not so focused on meeting physical needs that she neglects her real calling, which is to raise future disciples of Christ (Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 22:6). Because she walks in close harmony with God, she easily directs her children’s attention to His work in their lives. She may say to the three-year-old, “See that beautiful robin? God, who loves us, made that bird for us to enjoy. Thank you, God, for your beautiful birds.” She may say to her pre-teen, “Honey, I’m sorry you didn’t make the team. I know it hurts, but remember that God has something bigger in store for you as you trust Him with even this disappointment.” 5. She models service to God and others. Children need reminders that they were created for God, and serving Him is their highest calling (Colossians 1:16). A godly mother will demonstrate this in her own life as she involves her children in serving others. “Let’s finish this so we can make dinner for the Smith family. They’re going through a hard time, and we want to remind them that Jesus has not forgotten about them.” Acts 9:36–41 gives us a glimpse into the life of Tabitha, who was known for her good deeds. When she died, many townspeople brought out the garments she had made for them as evidence of her kindness. A godly mother leaves evidence of her kindness, and her children are proud of her reputation (see Matthew 5:16). 6. She has a healthy self-image. Many women in our culture struggle with low self-worth due to childhood wounds or comparison with others. A godly mother has learned to see herself as God sees her. Because of this, she can demonstrate to her children the way a godly woman should present herself. Godly mothers see themselves as active participants in God’s work; they don’t try to gain attention or a sense of worth through dress or behavior or relational status. First Peter 3:3–4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” A godly mother acts and dresses modestly. She models proper, God-honoring behavior to her children. The Proverbs 31 woman is a picture of a godly mother. Although she puts her children and husband first, they are not her entire world. She develops her gifts and uses them to benefit her family and her community. She is a credit to her husband and a role model for her children. She lives with integrity at home and in public, and she presents herself honorably. Verse 28 gives us the result of her years of faithful mothering. After she has poured her life into them, “her children rise up and call her blessed.”ANSWER