What does the Bible say about raising children?Untitled Sermon (14)

What does the Bible say about raising children?

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God created the family. His design was for a man and a woman to marry for life and raise children to know and honor Him (Mark 10:9; Malachi 2:15). Adoption is also God’s idea, and He models this in His adoption of us as His children (Romans 8:15, 23; Ephesians 1:5). Regardless of the means by which they enter a family, children are a gift from God and He cares about how they are raised (Psalm 127:3; Psalm 34:11; Proverbs 23:13–14). When God gives us gifts, He also gives clear instructions about their use. When God led the Israelites out of bondage, He commanded them to teach their children all He had done for them (Deuteronomy 6:6–7; 11:19). He desired that the generations to come would continue to uphold all His commands. When one generation fails to instill God’s laws in the next, a society quickly declines. Parents have not only a responsibility to their children, but an assignment from God to impart His values and truth into their lives. Several places in Scripture give specific instructions to parents about how to raise their children. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” There are several ways parents might provoke their children to anger. Some parents set impossible standards so that a child despairs of ever achieving them. Some parents tease, ridicule, or humiliate their children as a means of punishment, which does nothing but provoke them to anger. Inconsistency can also provoke to anger as a child is never sure about the consequences of his actions. Hypocrisy provokes children to anger when parents require behavior from children that the parents are not choosing for themselves. To “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” means that parents should train their children the way God trains us. As a Father, God is “slow to anger” (Numbers 14:18; Psalm 145:8), patient (Psalm 86:15), and forgiving (Daniel 9:9). His discipline is designed to bring us to repentance (Hebrews 12:6–11). His instruction is found in His Word (John 17:17; Psalm 119:97), and He desires that parents fill their homes with His truth (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). He also disciplines His children (Proverbs 3:11; Hebrews 12:5) and expects earthly parents to do the same (Proverbs 23:13). Psalm 94:12 says, “Blessed is the one you discipline, LORD, the one you teach from your law.” The word discipline comes from the root word disciple. To discipline someone means to make a disciple of him. God’s discipline is designed to “conform us to the image of Christ” (Romans 8:29). Parents can make disciples of their children by instilling values and life lessons they have learned. As parents practice godly living and make Spirit-controlled decisions (Galatians 5:16, 25), they can encourage their children to follow their example. Proper, consistent discipline brings a “harvest of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11). Failure to discipline results in dishonor for both parent and child (Proverbs 10:1). Proverbs 15:32 says that the one who ignores discipline “despises himself.” The Lord brought judgment upon Eli the priest because he allowed his sons to dishonor the Lord and “failed to restrain them” (1 Samuel 3:13). Children are a “heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). He places them in families and gives parents guidance in how they are to be raised. The goal of good parenting is to produce wise children who know and honor God with their lives. Proverbs 23:24 shows the end result of raising children according to God’s plan: “The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise”

How should Christians discipline their children?

How to best discipline children can be a difficult task to learn, but it is crucially important. Some claim that physical discipline (corporal punishment) such as spanking is the only method the Bible supports. Others insist that “time-outs” and other punishments that do not involve physical discipline are far more effective. What does the Bible say? The Bible teaches that physical discipline is appropriate, beneficial, and necessary. Do not misunderstand—we are by no means advocating child abuse. A child should never be disciplined physically to the extent that it causes actual physical damage. According to the Bible, though, the appropriate and restrained physical discipline of children is a good thing and contributes to the well-being and correct upbringing of the child. Many Scriptures do in fact promote physical discipline. “don’t fail to correct your children. They won’t die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death” (Proverbs 23:13-14; see also 13:24; 22:15; 20:30). The Bible strongly stresses the importance of discipline; it is something we must all have in order to be productive people, and it is much more easily learned when we are young. Children who are not disciplined often grow up rebellious, have no respect for authority, and as a result find it difficult to willingly obey and follow God. God Himself uses discipline to correct us and lead us down the right path and to encourage repentance for our wrong actions (Psalm 94:12; Proverbs 1:7; 6:23; 12:1; 13:1; 15:5; Isaiah 38:16; Hebrews 12:9). In order to apply discipline correctly and according to biblical principles, parents must be familiar with the scriptural advice regarding discipline. The book of Proverbs contains plentiful wisdom regarding the rearing of children, such as, “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother” (Proverbs 29:15). This verse outlines the consequences of not disciplining a child—the parents are disgraced. Of course, discipline must have as its goal the good of the child and must never be used to justify the abuse and mistreatment of children. Never should it be used to vent anger or frustration. Discipline is used to correct and train people to go in the right way. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11). God’s discipline is loving, as should it be between parent and child. Physical discipline should never be used to cause lasting physical harm or pain. Physical punishment should always be followed immediately by comforting the child with assurance that he/she is loved. These moments are the perfect time to teach a child that God disciplines us because He loves us and that, as parents, we do the same for our children. Can other forms of discipline, such as “time-outs,” be used instead of physical discipline? Some parents find that their children do not respond well to physical discipline. Some parents find that “time-outs,” grounding, and/or taking something away from the children is more effective in encouraging behavioral change. If that is indeed the case, by all means, a parent should employ the methods that best produce the needed behavioral change. While the Bible undeniably advocates physical discipline, the Bible is more concerned with the goal of building godly character than it is in the precise method used to produce that goal. Making this issue even more difficult is the fact that governments are beginning to classify all manner of physical discipline as child abuse. Many parents do not spank their children for fear of being reported to the government and risk having their children taken away. What should parents do if a government has made physical discipline of children illegal? According to Romans 13:1-7, parents should submit to the government. A government should never contradict God’s Word, and physical discipline is, biblically speaking, in the best interest of children. However, keeping children in families in which they will at least receive some discipline is far better than losing children to the “care” of the government. In Ephesians 6:4, fathers are told not to exasperate their children. Instead, they are to bring them up in God’s ways. Raising a child in the “training and instruction of the Lord” includes restrained, corrective, and, yes, loving physical discipline.ANSWER

What does the Bible say about disobedient children?

From the young toddler who just learned the word “no” to the older child acting out in willful defiance, all parents face the challenge of disobedient children. And, at the heart of the matter, disobedience is not just a child issue. The Bible shows us we all battle the desire to rule ourselves and do as we please because we all are born into sin and rebellion (Psalm 51:5; Ephesians 2:3; Romans 3:10; 7:17–21). This battle against self-rule can wage an all-out war on our children if their disobedience is left unchecked; a war that will affect their future relationships with teachers, employers, friends, spouses, aging parents, and even their Heavenly Father. Yet, when we turn to the Bible, we find great hope in the fact that God gives the tools to train and discipline disobedient children and even promises blessing to those who learn and grow in obedience. The command to honor and obey parents permeates Scripture, beginning in Exodus when God gives the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) all the way through the Old Testament (Leviticus 19:3; Deuteronomy 5:16; Proverbs 1:8; 6:20–21; 23:22) and into the New. Both Jesus and the apostle Paul reaffirm the fifth commandment (Matthew 15:4; 19:19; Ephesians 6:1–3; Colossians 3:20) and the promise that comes with it. Children are encouraged that their obedience will bring blessing and long life (Exodus 20:12; Jeremiah 35:17–19; Ephesians 6:3; Colossians 3:20), while disobedient children who dishonor their parents are admonished that their behavior will bring punishment and shame (Leviticus 20:9; Deuteronomy 21:18; 27:16; Proverbs 10:1; 15:5; 20:20; 30:17; Matthew 15:4). Widespread disobedience to parents will characterize society in the end times (2 Timothy 3:2). The nation of Israel, whom God calls His children (Exodus 4:22), provides an example for disobedient children. Repeatedly, God commands Israel to obey Him, promising great blessing for obedience and dire consequences for disobedience. In Joshua’s day, Israel obeyed God and was blessed with victory over their enemies (Joshua 11:23). Later, as the whole book of Judges shows, Israel’s disobedience brought trouble. The Bible teaches the necessity of correcting disobedient children. Discipline is a part of life for everyone, and those who rebel against the authority of parents are to be chastised. Proverbs 19:18 says, “Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; / do not be a willing party to their death.” In this verse, discipline of a child is presented as a matter of life and death. Disobedience, left unchecked, will lead a child to eventual ruin. Proverbs 13:24 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates their children, / but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Here, love and careful discipline go hand in hand. The idea is refuted that a “loving” parent will never discipline a child. To turn a blind eye to rebellion is to hate the rebellious child. Ephesians 6 is a key passage. Verse 1 speaks to children: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” That is, obedience to one’s parents is the God-given duty of every child. As long as the parents’ commands do not violate God’s Word, the child should obey. Verse 4 speaks to fathers: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” It is the duty of fathers to train their children in a godly way and to instruct them in the Lord’s Word. In so doing parents set their children up for the best chance for a long and prosperous life in this world (verse 3)—and treasures in heaven, too (Matthew 6:20; Galatians 6:8–9; Ephesians 1:3–4). Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them. Hosea 14:9ANSWER