Parables

Welcome

Intro of series

Recap of previous weeks

Matthew 18:21–35 NIV

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. 23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. 28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ 30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. 32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

pray

This parable begins with a question

Peter, one of Jesus’s disciples comes to Jesus and asks: Lord how many times should I forgive?

Now to maybe understand this a little better it may help to understand Peter a little better

Peter was a man who was always the first to speak

talker and thinker at my house

Peter was definitely a talker and a lot of times it got him into trouble

He was constantly saying the wrong things at the wrong times

And so you could imagine that Peter was a man who constantly needed forgiveness from others

And so this very man comes up to Jesus and say “How many times should I forgive?”

And the way we should read this is not “How much should I forgive” but really “How little is it ok to forgive”

A lot of times we have this same mindset with Jesus

Maybe it’s not forgiveness

But our hearts and lives and minds are constantly trying to figure out how little we can do and still be ok

How little can I forgive, how little can I give, how little can love and still go to heaven?

And in Peter’s answer if we were to look at it against the laws of man he actually goes above and beyond the worldly standard

the rabbis of that day stated that 3 times was enough

And they got that from the OT

There are passages in Amos 1 and Job 33 that God is talking about Israel’s neighboring enemies and how He will forgive them 3 times but not a 4th

And so the Rabbi’s of that day took that to limit God’s forgiveness

So if God will only forgive up to 3 times then surely we won’t be asked to forgive more than that

And so this was the rule or law of this day

But Peter being around Jesus for some time now know Him well enough to know that Jesus is going to stretch that and so Peter goes above and beyond and you just have to think that he was so proud of himself by saying seven

I mean that was double what the world said

But then, he also had to have been completely shocked and taken back by Jesus’ response

Jesus responds with “no not 7 times Peter but 77 times or actually more accurately, 70 times 7

And Jesus here wasn’t saying you forgive 490 times and then you stop at 491

What He was saying was you forgive, and then you keep forgiving, and then you keep forgiving and you never stop

The Christian life begins with forgiveness and is marked by forgiveness

Our life in Christ begins at the cross of Jesus

it begins with forgiveness

It begins with the creator of the universe looking down and seeing sinners in desperate need of forgiveness

And then sending them a Savior in His Son to die for it

God goes to the ultimate extreme to forgive and it’s where our journey with Him begins

And as we understand and experience the grace and forgiveness of Jesus we ought also to be marked by it as well

And so to illustrate this, Jesus tells a story of a king who wanted to settle his accounts

In doing so, he had a man who owed Him 10,000 bags of gold

In the same sense that Jesus uses 7 times 70 to mean an unlimited amount

10,000 bags of gold is not a specific amount but in the Gk. here they uses the highest known number to signify and unlimited amount

This man owed more than he could ever possibly acquire

And so the king says “sell him and his family”

So the man falls to his knees, begs for forgiveness and states that he will repay it all

In knowing it is an impossible feet the king just forgives all his debt and let’s him go

This is an illustration of what Jesus does for us

Because of our sin we owe an insurmountable debt

There is no possible way that we could pay it

And so in His love and kindness Jesus pays it for us and forgives us of our debt

Now, what an awesome story right? Jesus uses this story to illustrate His forgiveness for us

And they all lived happily ever after....but not quite

Jesus goes on to say that then that servant who had just been forgiven a debt he could never had repayed goes out to someone who owed him

This man owed him 100 coins or denarii

this was about an average persons 3 months of wages

And so it’s not as if it wasn’t a significant sum of money, it just pails in comparison to the sum that was owed to the king

So here’s what I would say, there will be sins against you, things done to you that will be significant

Jesus is not downplaying the sins against you, the past hurts you have, He is simply teaching that there is no sin against you greater than the sin you committed against Him

And so if you want to start playing the comparison game with God you’re always going to lose

What gets us in trouble often is the downplaying of our own sin.

So I’m not asking us to wallow in our sin at all times

But we have to understand the weight of it and when we do it actually helps us extend grace and forgiveness to others

Because when we begin believing that our sins aren’t to bad then there are a lot of consequences to that, one being that when someone sins against us, we could easily begin to fall into the trap that their sins against us outweigh our sins against God

And we start getting into a similar mindset Peter was in, we begin to think, ok how little can I forgive, instead of how much can I forgive?

And we begin to act like this man who had been forgiven so much and yet when the opportunity to do the same presented itself, he decides to show no mercy, no grace, and no forgiveness

And watch what happens when we do that:

Matthew 18:32-35

Matthew 18:32–35 NIV

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

So here’s the deal: we forgive how we want to be forgiven by God

If you want to be unforgiving, showing no mercy toward others, then just know it’s coming back to you

But if, by the grace of God, we are people of mercy and forgiveness then we too will be shown that same grace

And this is applicable in every area of our lives

Our marriages

Our parenting

Our work relationships

Our enemies

Our friends

This is the gospel lived out

Now, I want to speak to something else here.

This may be a little confusing but I’m going to do my best to explain it

I believe there to be 2 different types of forgiveness and for the sake of understanding I’ll call one forgiveness and the other restoration

When it comes to our relationship with God I believe there is a forgiveness given for our sins that grant us salvation

So He forgives all of our past present and future sins and saves us out of our sinful fleshly self and makes us a new creation in Christ

2 Cor 5:17

2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

But then there is also a daily forgiveness that we seek and need relationally

Both require repentance and forgiveness but result in different things

When Jesus gives us His model prayer what does He say we should ask in the middle of it?

Forgiveness. Now why would we need to ask forgiveness every day, as believers, if our sins have already been forgiven.

Scriptures that speak of His new mercies every morning would not be needed unless there was a daily repentance and therefore forgiveness that was needed.

And so, Here is why I believe we need both

In terms of the kingdom: One opens the door to the kingdom, the other opens the door to the King

The repentance and forgiveness of our sins (plural, all) gives us access to the kingdom of God. It has to happen! And it has to happen first

The repentance and forgiveness of our sin (singular, specific) is a process of constant relationship restoration

It’s the difference between justification and sanctification

Maybe an illustration would help

When it comes to my wife and I, I am consistently falling short. I can always be a better husband to her. And I know that she deserves better and there are going to multiple things and multiple times almost every day that I don’t do or think or say what I should with her. Now I could have said on our wedding day, “Dorie I’m going to fail you so many times, will you forgive me.” She would probably answer yes. But then, if for the rest of my marriage I never ask, repent, or notice my need for her forgiveness I can promise you that our relationship is going to suffer greatly and probably won’t last. Now I could go to her and say but remember that one time I asked you to forgive all of my sins, we are good, I don’t need to do anymore. Or what I can do is pinpoint the sins I’ve committed and be intentional about each one and show true remorse. Now which one will be more effective? The daily repentance right? And the reality is that not only will it help her, but it also helps me. It helps me see if my flaws, my faults and it gives me the opportunity to work on them and improve. It helps our relationship

In the same way, our daily repentance to the Father helps us see our faults, our flaws, and it gives us opportunity to work on them. It’s sanctification and it’s restoration. It’s a continual restoration of relationship with the Father until that day comes when He makes all things new and there is a new heaven and new earth and we will be completely and fully restored once and for all

So there is an already and not yet aspect to this when it come to our relationship with our heavenly Father

There’s a covering and full forgiveness and then a singular daily restoration

And so, when it comes to our forgiveness of others, we are to be ready to forgive at all times regardless of the other person

Restoration of relationship is only brought through true repentance

It takes a recognition of the extent of the sin, it takes a laying down of pride, and it takes an intentional effort to restore or make right what has been made wrong

The only thing we need from someone to forgive them is a sin to forgive

The only thing we need for restoration is everything else

We forgive an unnumbered amount of times regardless of the situation, because that’s who Christ is

the opposite of forgiveness is judgement and resentment

So we do not hold onto resentment of others. We do not harbor ill-will and evil thoughts of someone

We forgive

But that does not automatically mean that every act of forgiveness grants an immediate restoration of relationship

Forgiveness happens in a moment, restoration happens over time

forgiveness is a surrender, restoration is a fight

forgiveness toward someone is a surrender of our pride, our thoughts, our desire

Restoration is a fight for relationship, it’s a battle for trust built back

Some of you jump back into relationships because they’ve asked for forgiveness. But that doesn’t mean they’ve sought restoration.

And the reality is, some relationships this side of heaven don’t need restoration.

we don’t have time to talk through every possible scenario but if it’s dangerous situation and/or the person is a toxic unhealthy person we do not need to seek restoration

Restoration is something that is fought for and earned. Trust has to be built back.

but then there’s Some of you that leave no room for restoration. Some of us just wait for someone to wrong us so that we can cut that relationship off and neither are right

We have to be discerning, always willing to forgive and ready to restore when true repentance is shown and it is healthy to do so

Jesus gives us a way to handle this right before this parable and here is what He says

Matthew 18:15–17 (NIV)

Matthew 18:15–17 NIV

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

So we forgive and we fight for restoration. But we also have to realize that restoration can’t be forced

We do everything we can but we can not force true repentance on someone else

So I will end with this Scripture and a couple of questions

Eph 4:32

Ephesians 4:32 NIV

32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Have you experienced the kindness of Jesus?

Have you repented of your sins (plural) and surrendered your life to Christ and in doing so experienced the grace and kindness of Jesus?

If so, Are you kind, compassionate, and forgiving just as Christ is?

Are you harboring un-forgiveness? Because today is the day to be free of it

Resentment will strangle the life and joy out of you

What relationship do you need to ask for forgiveness?

What relationships do you need to seek restoration in?