Bittersweet 3

Forgiveness is not about Vengeance

Connect/ME

Last week of series Bittersweet

1st week Grudges

2nd week allowing faults since we are all imperfect

3rd Forgiveness is not about vengeance

When we think about movies that involve the most action, some of them involve a story about seeking revenge on someone who did you wrong.

(John Wick getting back the people who killed his dog)

(Thor chopping off Thanos’ head in Endgame for wiping half of the universe’s population and destroying all the infinity stones)

These stories are like the best because you see the person who did wrong get their justice.

We love it when a villain gets what they deserve.

Transition

And we love it when people who do us wrong get what they deserve.

ASK:/WE

Wouldn’t we feel so much better if we found out that everyone who did us wrong just got what they deserved?

We want the person who gave us a heart break to experience it too so they know how it feels.

We want the person who talks spreads rumors about us to have some stuff said about them

We want our abusers to be abused and hurt.

But we need to ask ourselves, Will their pain, cause us healing?

YOU

Will it be easier to forgive someone if they got a taste of what you got?

What if they understood the pain they caused you, would it be easier to forgive them then?

Maybe some of you say yes! If they got what they deserve, if they could just taste the pain they caused me, maybe then I’ll forgive them.

I don’t think that’s the case, and what you are hoping for, might never happen to them.

And so then you might be just unwilling to forgive someone because you feel like they don’t deserve it.

You might have a bunch of reasons to not forgive someone, but let me ask you this:

Who hurts the most from your unforgiveness? You or the person you aren’t willing to forgive?

You

So then your unforgiveness is causing you pain, while the other person might not even realize it.

So forgiveness isn’t for the other person, forgiveness is a gift of God that is meant to bring healing to YOU

Transition to Bible

One of my favorite Bible heroes is a man named Joseph. You can read about his story starting in Genesis 37-50

Joseph was a man who was loved by his father. Like usually you’re not to supposed to have favorites, but Joseph was his father’s favorite and he had 11 other brothers.

Joseph was given a super nice jacket with a bunch of colors that was like a sign of favoritism. It’s like your dad bought your siblings Shaqile O’Nieles from walmart while you sibling got some Balenciaga joints.

So Joseph’s brothers got so jealous of him, they planned to kill him. But instead, they threw him into a pit, and sold him to slave traders.

So Joseph was taken by these guys and sold to the powerful nation of Egypt.

After Twenty-two years, Joseph was accused of rape and thrown into prison. But God gave Joseph amazing gifts like organization, intelligence, strategy and the gift to interpret dreams. So he was able to use these gifts and impress his leaders and He rose to power and was given the title of Governor of Egypt. He was the second most powerful man to Pharoah who was the king of Egypt.

Now there was a famine in the land, but Joseph came up with a plan of strategy to save food for 7 years so that when this famine came, they would have enough food for themselves and enough food to sell to other nations.

People from all over the region came to Egypt to buy food, and guess who came to buy food?

Joseph’s Brothers. the brothers that sold him into slavery. His brothers that destroyed his colorful robe, threw him into a pit, and made Joseph experience slavery and imprisonment.

Vengeance was looking real good for Joseph. Joseph could’ve said, OOOHH LOOK WHO’S HUNGRY?! YOU WANT FOOD? NOOO SIIRRR, go home and die.

But that doesn’t happen.

Joseph actually tests them, which was fun for him because they didn’t even recognize him.

He tests their character and rather than making them pay for what they have done, he says this:

Genesis 45:4–5 (NLT)

“Please, come closer,” he said to them. So they came closer. And he said again, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt. But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.

Joseph just made a huge power move by not using his power for revenge.

Isn’t it his right to take revenge?

Wouldn’t it make him feel better to just take care of business?

Instead, Joseph saw this as an opportunity to save them.

Instead of showing anger and justice on his brothers, he gives them mercy, grace, and love.

YOU

When we are hurt, it might make sense to get some payback. But we would actually be showing more power over the person who hurt us by forgiving them.

Now when I say forgive, I don’t mean just simply let all of the wrong they have done to you go. But I do mean that you don’t allow those wrongs to hurt you anymore.

To forgive also doesn’t mean you do it overnight.

Forgiveness takes time, For Joseph, it was 22 years.

For you it might be shorter, or it might be longer.

But you need to begin thinking about the journey to forgiveness.

APPLY

So how can we enter into the journey of forgiveness?

I think looking at Joseph’s story can help us out.

Confront them

“Please, come closer,” he said to them. So they came closer. And he said again, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt.

Instead of letting it go or taking revenge, he confronted them and told them what they did to him.

You sold me into slavery in Egypt.

You spread this rumor about me, You lied to me, You hurt me

You need to let the other person know what they did to you, and then you let them know how it made you feel

2. Tell them how it hurt you

While Joseph actually told his brothers not to be angry with themselves, we could only imagine Joseph’s emotions too.

Joseph was hurt

So you need to tell the person who hurt you how it hurt you.

You need to be honest with them, because that might actually make that person realize that they have done something wrong.

Now if you can’t do number one and number two, you need to do number three:

3. Make Use of Your Time

Joseph could have dwelled in unforgiveness as a slave, but he was a gifted person.

He used his gifts and helped those in need while battling what his brothers did to him.

We need to make sure that we are using out time to heal for the good, and not just sulk in unforgiveness.

Use your time to connect with God through prayer and reading the Bible

Connect with someone who has been a Christian for a while and learn from them. Your SGL’s are a perfect example

Journal your emotions when it comes to your pain and write down where you need help

Whatever you do, don’t stop being an influence.

If you can’t do these things because you can’t forgive someone, you are giving them power over your life.

You have a will to choose what you will do with your life. Forgiveness should be a part of that choice because it sets you free from others.

Joseph set his brothers free, he gave them a place to live, he had a desire to preserve their lives. he could’ve killed them all, he could’ve taken revenge, but he chose forgiveness and Grace.

This is exactly what Jesus does for us.

We are guilty in God’s eyes and we deserve to be punished because of our sins.

But Jesus offers us forgiveness through what He did on the cross.

He offers love to all of us if we were just to believe in His death and His resurrection.

Jesus forgave us so that we could also forgive others.

PRAY