Prickly Sins

Why Do We Call It a “Fun House”?

Just a few miles from where I grew up there was an amusement park called “Roseland”. It sat at the northern end of Canandaigua Lake. I remember being excited that I was finally tall enough to go to rides like the bumper cars – an all-out war of crashing into one another. We had the old wooden roller coaster, the tilt-a-whirl, (one that I don’t know what to call it), and a haunted house.

Inside the haunted house or maybe outside of it there were a series of mirrors – fun house mirrors. We’d laugh as we stood in front of mirrors that made our legs look a mile long, made us short and fat, or made us skinny and tall. Those were the days when we laughed at mirrors! They were much more fun back then.

As we have been Confronting Sins We Tolerate, we have been doing exactly what the Apostle James suggested. We have been using the Word of God to see things in us that need to change.

James 1:22–25 NIV

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

It is just simply wisdom for us to consider sin and examine ourselves, repent, and allow the Holy Spirit to bring out the fruits of the Spirit in us.

The Quills of Christians

Sometimes sin issues aren’t the evil vices like lying, stealing, murder, and adultery that we expect. Often sin issues manifest in more subtle ways that affect relationships around us and make us prickly.

The German philosopher Schopenhauer compared the human race to a prickle of porcupines huddling together on a cold winter’s night. He said,

“The colder it gets outside, the more we huddle together for warmth; but the closer we get to one another, the more we hurt one another with our sharp quills. And in the lonely night of earth’s winter eventually we begin to drift apart and wander out on our own and freeze to death in our loneliness.”

Peter provides the only solution to such porcupine quills,

1 Peter 4:8–9 NIV

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Relationships are flawed. It is just the reality. Anytime that we are together, we can experience the quills of another porcupine and the other person will experience your quills. So far, we that talked about pride, greed, and gossip. This morning I want to spend some time on, really a pair of twins – impatience and irritability. There are several examples of Biblical characters who become famous for their impatience –

- Sarai became impatient for a son and had her husband father a son by her servant Hagar

- Saul became impatient on waiting for the prophet Samuel

- Martha became impatient with her sister Mary

Sarai and Saul’s impatience had disastrous effects. Martha’s produced a rebuke from Jesus himself.

Prickly Impatience and Irritability

I suspect that of the 3 characters that I mentioned, Martha would be the one we would identify with the most. It is almost a shame that her name would go into history as the sister that Jesus corrected, but her she is:

Luke 10:38–42 NIV

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I understand Martha! Martha is busy getting things ready in the house – cleaning, cooking, making the tea – while Mary is just visiting with the guests. Have you ever felt that way? It normally happens in your own home. Jerry Bridges defines impatience as “a strong sense of annoyance at the (usually) unintentional faults and failures of others. This impatience is often expressed verbally in a way that tends to humiliate the person (or persons) who is the object of the impatience…The key to understanding this type of impatience is that it is a response to the usually unintentional actions of others.”[2]

Proverbs 19:11 NIV

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Who knows what Martha’s home was like? It would be a bit unfair to say that she was always annoyed, impatient, and irritable with her sister. On the other hand, we have experienced it ourselves. We have been annoyed and irritated by things that your spouse or children have done without even knowing that they were doing it.

In his book, “Respectable Sins”, Bridges points out when impatience becomes irritability:

“While impatience is a strong sense of annoyance or exasperation, irritability, as I define it, describes the frequency of impatience, or the ease with which a person can become impatient over the slightest provocation. The person who easily and frequently becomes impatient is an irritable person. Most of us can become impatient at times, but the irritable person is impatient most of the time. The irritable person is one whom you feel you have to tiptoe or “walk on eggshells” around.”[3]

Anybody feel like they are looking into a mirror? Ouch!

Impatience is NOT Loving

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Paul dives into a definition of love as being patient. Think about it. How patient are we? With the kids? The wife/husband? Co-workers?

The Greek word for patience literally means “to have a long fuse”. Paul Lee adds, “Biblical use of the word does not include the idea of passivity or resignation. For the child of God, it is not just a matter of gritting one’s teeth and stoically enduring some pain or suffering.”[4]

The apostle Paul, in several of his letters, exhorts us to be patient. In 1 Corinthians 13, the great “love” chapter, he leads off his description of love by saying, “Love is patient.” In Galatians 5:22-23, patience is one of the nine expressions of the fruit of the Spirit. In Ephesians 4:1-2, Paul urges us to live our lives with patience, and in Colossians 3:12, we are to put on patience. Clearly, with Paul (who, I remind us, was not expressing merely his own opinion but was writing under the guidance of the Holy Spirit), the quality of patience is a virtue to be cultivated. And by reasonable inference we can say that impatience, the opposite of patience, is a sin to be put to death in our lives. Though it may be acceptable to us, it is not acceptable to God.[5]

A word about sin. I’m afraid that sin has become attractive to our society. We have become comfortable with not only the worst of sins but impatience, pride, resentment (unforgiveness), frustration, and self-pity have become normal. One of the Puritan writers, Ralph Venning in his book, The Sinfulness of Sin, uses especially colorful words to describe sin. Over the space of only a few pages, he says that sin is vile, ugly, odious, malignant, pestilent, pernicious, hideous, spiteful, poisonous, virulent, villainous, abominable, and deadly.[6]

Impatience is NOT loving, it is sinfulness and a disgrace to the Kingdom of God.

Impatience is NOT a Fruit of the Spirit

I don’t know about you, but our house has been healthier since beginning this series. Especially last week’s message about “Taming the Tongue”. Both Cindy and I have been more careful with not only whatwe say, but how we are saying it. As Christians we are filled with the Spirit of Christ. Our lives should be showing the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22–23 NIV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

If Martha and Mary’s home were your home, what would have happened? Sure, Martha was out of line – Jesus made that clear. But, sometimes one person’s impatience draws out the ugly in the other person as well.

Galatians 5:19–21 NIV

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Obviously, these are the things that none of us want in our lives but we all tolerate them – BUT we shouldn’t. Instead we need to allow the fruits of the Spirit to become in greater and greater quantity from the orchards of our lives.

Disarm the Quills!

Martha may not have even noticed that she had become a porcupine. Verses 40-41 come as close as we get to understanding (and sympathizing with her):

Luke 10:40–41 NIV

But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,

She was busy with the preparations. She didn’t think that Jesus cared about what she was going through. You may be thinking, “Not me. I’m not impatient.” How about…

- The times you picked up the shoes in the middle of the room

- The sink filled up with dirty dishes

- The coworker who is exasperating

- The kids are fussing, AGAIN! ….and the list goes on.

Maybe you don’t instigate the impatience, but your response can be just as unbiblical. I mean, Mary could have lashed out at Martha and started a “war or words”. Or Mary could have started to boil on the inside. ‘A price will be paid! You will be in misery for days!’

Biblically you have 2 options:

1. You can follow the example of Jesus, who, “when he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23). Sometimes this may be your only biblical option.

2. The second option is to confront the person who is continually impatienttoward you and point out to the person examples of his or her impatience. But this should be done only when you have resolved the issue in your own heart and can speak to the other person for his[…]”[7]

These options bring healing and restoration instead of unforgiveness and pain.

Love Blunts the Prickly Quills

We have been discussing sins that many people just tolerate and don’t try to do anything about. I think that is a mistake. Christ has called us to be salt and light – to be exceptional. He has called us to love. And the solution to these issues is love.

Sometimes we try to love in our own strength and end up failing. Sometimes we give up when poked by the quills of others. But the only way that love covers a multitude of sins when we ask Christ for the strength to love well (1 John 4:19).

1 John 4:19 NIV

We love because he first loved us.

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

1 Peter 4:8–9 NIV

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

No expectation. No requirements. Jesus loved us, we must love others. His love for us covers the multitude of our sins (Isa 53:5; 1 Pet 2:23-24) and should be our example. Don’t let the quills of others keep you from loving well.[8]

[1] Sugimura, Tom. www.nicwh.org. Accessed Nov 10, 2021. “Christians are like Porcupines”. https://www.nlcwh.org/content.cfm?page_content=blogs_include.cfm&blog_id=34 [2] Excerpt From: Jerry Bridges. “Respectable Sins.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/respectable-sins/id1202947909 [3]Bridges. Ibid. [4]Bridges, Jerry. Ibid. [5] Bridges. Ibid. [6]Bridges, Jerry. Ibid. [7]Bridges, Jerry. Ibid. [8]Sugimara, Tom. Ibid.