Part 3: Dealing With Hurting Friendships

Introduction

Some friendships are for a lifetime, and some are a season. You also have diffferent kinds of friends, so it’s important to discern the difference.

Neighborhood friends > Elementary school friends > Middle school friends > High school friends > Early 20’s, Married late 20’s.

As I reflect through the different stages of my life, I can relate to Paul in a way.

2 Timothy 4:9-18

Main Point: We should not only consider our friendships, but what kind of friends we have. It’s easy to make friends and it’s challenging to keep them.

7 Case Studies

The first one who is mentioned is Demas. We see from Paul’s letter to the Colossians that he was once acquainted with Paul. Col 4:14 “Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings.” Demas also worked with Paul in ministry. Philemon 23-24 “Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings. And so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas and Luke, my fellow workers.” Unlike the others, Paul gives us a clear reason why Demas isn’t his friend anymore - 2 Timothy 4:9-10 “Do your best to come to me quickly, for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.” Later in verse 13, Paul adds To his request that when Timothy meets him, he should bring Paul’s belongings. Maybe Demas was in charge of it that stuff before he deserted Paul. The reason their friendship ended was because Demas “loved this world” (verse 10). Demas had a deep longing for this world, over Paul, over ministry, and over Jesus. The more persecution Paul received, the more Demas backed off.

The next ones are Crescens and Titus. We don’t know much about Crescens, because he is only mentioned here in the New Testament. We do however, have more information about Titus. He is likely from Antioch, and he is not Jewish. Galatians 2:3 “Yet not even Titus, who was with me, was compelled to be circumcised, even though he was a Greek.” He is also very involved in ministry. Paul considers him his brother. 2 Corinthians 2:13 “I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said goodbye to them and went on to Macedonia.” Or look at 2 Corinthians 8:23 “As for Titus, he is my partner and co-worker among you; as for our brothers, they are representatives of the churches and an honor to Christ.” What we are not sure of is why Titus went to Dalmatia. Did he leave Paul as well, or did he simply complete his previous ministry mission in Crete? I would like to give Titus the benefit of the doubt and assume he went on to minister in Dalmatia.

Mark is someone who Paul rejected at first because he seemed flaky. Like Demas, he ran at the first sign of persecution. He was the reason Paul and Barbara’s ended their friendship. (You can read about it in Acts 15:36-41.) As we see in our passage today, Paul changed his mind - 2 Timothy 4:11 “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” This shows that some friendships evolve after a few rough times and even initial rejection.

Tychicus is mentioned 4 other times in the New Testament, and 2 of those times Paul said that he was a faithful servant and a brother. Ephesians 6:21 “Tychicus, the dear brother and faithful servant in the Lord, will tell you everything, so that you also may know how I am and what I am doing.” Col 4:7 “Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord.” Some people we serve with. Some people we love serving with. Some people are not just servants, but siblings.

Luke was very close with Paul. He was probably Paul’s personal doctor, as Paul would get beat up from city to city. He was the main eyewitness to the early church. You often read the pronoun “we.” That includes Luke. He also wrote a gospel. He is a rich doctor who funded recording of 2 books in the Bible, as well as conducted interviews with the eyewitnesses. He wanted people to be certain that they know the gospel.

Last example is Alexander. We are not confident who he is elsewhere in the New Testament, but what we are confident of is that he is Paul’s enemy. He harmed Paul in some way and he is not safe. Paul urged Timothy to steer clear of him at all costs because he “strongly opposed our message” (verse 15).

Application

The key to moving forward past broken friendships is forgiveness. Paul says, “may it not be held against them” (verse 16). In saying this, he echoes the Lord Jesus and Stephen.

Forgive those friends that stabbed you in the back.

What forgiveness is and what its not.

We can forgive because the Lord stands by us and will safely bring us into his kingdom, so we don’t need to worry about justice being met.

Closing

2 Timothy 4:17–18 NIV

But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.