Marriage Series 3 - Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Reading: Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)

I.   How Much must we forgive?

     A.  To forgive is to Release from debt

           1.  We see this in the parable literally.

                 a.  Forgiveness is and was a banking term

                 b.  This is what the king does

                 c.  Sin creates a debt that must be paid

           2.  Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation

                 a.  Remember last week?

                 b.  Forgiveness is for release from debt

                 c.  Forgiveness doesn’t fix the broken chair

           3.  Forgiveness is a firm decision to release

                 a.  It is a decision, an event, a declaration

                 b.  “You owe me nothing because of this”

                 c.  No fair using guilt to manipulate

     B.  We must forgive Unreasonably

           1.  77 times? 70X7 times? Always forgive!

                 a.  In Luke 7 times in one day!

                 b.  The point is without limit (not to count!)

           2.  Our forgiving goes beyond common sense

                 a.  If forgiveness “isn’t working” . . .

                 b.  People will take advantage of you

                 c.  How could anyone forgive for that!

           3.  Forgive with abandonment

                 a.  Freely we have received freely forgive

                 b.  If they don’t deserve it, forgive anyway!

II.  Forgive as we Have Been forgiven

     A.  God is amazingly Merciful toward us

           1.  He doesn’t give us what we deserve

                 a.  Hallelujah!

                 b.  The consequences of our own choices?

                 c.  We don’t deserve forgiveness

           2.  He gives us what we don’t deserve

                 a.  He completely forgives our debt to Him

                 b.  Even on the cross, Jesus forgives

                 c.  Amazing Grace!

     B.  God has Generously forgiven us

           1.  Our debt to Him was HUGE!!

                 a.  Like the 1st servant, impossible to repay

                 b.  It’d be easier to repay the national debt!

                 c.  We were Satan’s captives because of it

           2.  He paid our debt for us!

                 a.  This debt had to be paid

                 b.  He paid it all, tho it cost Him His Son

           3.  His mercy toward us has no end

                 a.  His mercies are new every morning

                 b.  It reaches from to our lowest “hell”

                 c.  He won’t change His mind about it

     C.  We must Really forgive

           1.  Forgive “from your heart” (v.35)

                 a.  Holding nothing back “just in case”

                 b.  Forgive from your inmost being

                 c.  God looks at your heart

           2.  Once forgiven, always forgiven

                 a.  How have we been forgiven?

                 b.  Once we’re forgiven our sins are gone

           3.  A condition of forgiveness?

                 a.  Forgive us our debts as we forgive . . .

                 b.  Have we really received His forgiveness

                 c.  Yes. If we aren’t forgiving we won’t be forgiven–that’s what it says.

III. Reconciliation is Work (Matthew 5:23-24)

     A.  As God has reconciled us to Himself

           1.  More than just forgiven, reconciled!

                 a.  Forgiveness precedes reconciliation

                 b.  Not just forgiven, but reconciled too!

                 c.  The relationship is reestablished!

           2.  He wants to be with us!

                 a.  God’s desire is to be our God

                 b.  Our Father wants us as His children

                 c.  He wants the joy of Eden restored

           3.  He’s waiting for you to be with Him

                 a.  Everything between us is gone

                 b.  So go to Him and feast in His love

     B.  It takes Two to reconcile

           1.  Rarely is only one person to blame

                 a.  When it falls apart, both share a part

                 b.  But it’s also rarely 50/50!

                 c.  (Sometimes it is just 1 person’s fault!)

           2.  When love or trust is broken it takes 2 to fix it

                 a.  Both need to seek, give forgiveness

                 b.  To reestablish trust means change

                 c.  To reestablish trust means work

           3.  This is usually a process (not an event)

                 a.  Unlike forgiveness, it usually takes time

                 b.  In process we may find more to forgive

                 c.  We may need to seek more forgiveness

     C.  Reconciliation is a Sacred obligation (v.24)

           1.  It takes priority over other religious duties

                 a.  Takes priority over making sacrifices!

                 b.  Priority over other expressions of faith

                 c.  I.e. relationships are important to God!

           2.  Take the 1st step whether innocent or guilty

                 a.  Why wait? Go and straighten things out!

                 b.  Take responsibility for your part in it

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 (NIV)

           3.  God is relentless in pursuing reconciliation

                 a.  He pursues us until we give in

                 b.  We need to be relentless too

                 c.  Don’t give up, keep at it.

                 d.  Blessed are the peacemakers, they will be called sons of God. (Matt 5:9)

The Bottom Line:

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