Intentionally Stopping

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Family Moment

Today we continue in our sermon series about becoming intentional authors of our lives.

How we need to start thinking about the story want our lives to tell and start living with that end in mind.

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Let me explain the trajectory for the next month for those who might be new today….because we LOVE guests at Family Church!

The reality is all of us are going to one day look back over our life.

The reality is one day all of us will look BACK over our life and ponder the story we wrote with our life.

Like I said last week….being a pastor means I get to be there at the ends of many lives and that is such an honor….And I believe God has shown me somethings through those experiences.

Life goes by much faster than we think it will.

And if we are not INTENTIONAL with the life we live…..one day you might look back and regret a lot of the life you lived.

You will look back and regret the time you missed with your kids.,

You will look back and regret the choices you made in your marriage.

You will look back and regret the choices you made in work.

You will look back and regret the relationship choices you made.

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So, for this next month we are going to talk about what does it look like to be an Intentional Author of our own lives.

We are going to talk about how our lives might look IF we lived with the END in mind.

What if we DIDN’T just let life happen to us…. But instead, we CHOOSE to be intentional about the life we lived….

So many stories fill the pages of life.

Some chapters you can be proud to tell.

Others, you would rather skip.

The day life really turns a page is when you let God be the author of your story.

Let God write your story and you'll live a story worth telling.

PLEASE PLEASE try to be here for this whole series. I think this will be a very powerful series.

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Last week we talked about times in our lives were God calls us to START something.

Sometimes if we START new things it can change the direction of our entire life!!! And we talked about that.

This week we will talk about the opposite…..When God calls us to STOP something.

Sometimes we have things in our life that are leading us in the WRONG direction and we need to STOP it before it ruins our life.

That will be our focus today.

Next week we will talk about when God calls us to STAY somewhere.

Then we will wrap up the month talking about when God calls us to GO somewhere.

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No matter what is going on in your life today please here me…..Your story isn't finished yet. There's still time for edits!

Sometimes before we start doing the right things, sometimes we need to stop doing the wrong things.

Today we are going to learn how to STOP.

For some of us we need to get out of our past and start looking to the future!

The good news is NO MATTER your past, your future story is yet to be written!!!

In this series we're talking about how the decisions we make determine the stories we write with our lives.

We established this truth last week and it will carry through this whole series:

The decisions that I make today determine the stories that I will tell tomorrow.

Let's just say that aloud together.

The decisions that I make today determine the stories that I will tell tomorrow.

I want to share with you a quote from one of my favorite Pastors, Andy Stanley. For those who don’t know him he is a Pastor in Atlanta.

He says the following in his book "The Principle of the Path"

Andy Stanley: Direction not intention determines destination.

Think about that!

Good intentions are really meaningless…..

What we DO is what really matters!

Which is why you NEVER listen to a politician! You look at their voting record and life! That tells you what they will really do!

Where you intend your life to be one day will never happen unless you DIRECT your life that way!

The way we are living will ultimately determine the story we tell, not how we intend to live!

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Jeremiah 29:11 says this:

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

God is there for us! God is there to help us if we just ask Him!

Take a second and think:

"If I continue down this road, what story will I tell?”

“If I continue to make these decisions, what story am I likely to tell?"

There are things we all need to STOP in our life…

Like last week, let’s be real and I will give you examples from my life.

I can be rather hardheaded and cheap…I am not Dutch but I was raised by a banker so it comes natural to me like many of you…….

Back in Virginia we bought a foreclosure home and let’s just say I have a knack for finding the ugliest house in every community and convincing Jenny we need to buy it so I can make it awesome.

I mean this house was rough….rat poop everywhere….1930 shag carpet….. kitchen was falling apart….broken windows…..a regular Picasso….

So one day I notice we don’t have a chimney cap on our fireplace. I call and get a quote and it is like $500 bucks! And I said to myself, “NO WAY I can buy that for like $70!”

So, one day when Jenny is gone I decide, “with the kids,” let’s do this!

So I took a table out into the back yard and stacked a ladder on top of it so I could get on the first roof, which was kind of flat.

Of course my boys want to do it too, so I let them climb up first and put them on the roof, and at this time they are really little…

Yes…. I let my kids play on the roof,--------NOW ---------no judging me in church!

I got over to the chimney and had to figure out how I could position another ladder and scale this chimney…..It was not graceful….I did not look like I was on the show Ninja Warrior

I remember Thacher saying, “DAD mom is not going to be happy if you fall off the roof.”

And so I asked myself, "Where will this story go?" Best case scenario is I get the chimney cap on!

Worst case scenario is I now have to preach in a neck brace….

Thankfully, I made a rather mature decision and decided to get down and save the cap until I had help.

I am glad I didn’t end up saying, "Oh, if I could only go back and do it over again! I wish I hadn't done that!"

I can't tell you as a pastor how many people that I've sat with that are full of regret, deep regret; "I'd give anything to go over and do that again."

The decisions we make today determine the stories we tell tomorrow.

Direction not intention determines destination in life.

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So, the overriding question we asked last week and will continue to ask for this whole series is:

How do we live a story worth telling?

And the verse that drives us through, this is found in Hebrews 12:2:

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus......the author and......finisher or perfecter of our faith.

Wouldn't it be amazing if we let Jesus help author the story of our lives? If we so focused on Him that we were actually led by Him, and if we're led by Him.

Last week, we decided to intentionally start something.

How many of you actually committed to start something, a new discipline?

Raise your hands; raise them up high. Fantastic!

For those of you that weren’t here last week download our app or visit our website and listen to that message.

Today we're going to decide: To stop.

Today, we're going to decide to stop.

Let’s jump into our Bibles and read about a man named Mosses because I think he is someone many of us can relate to. Open your Bibles to Exodus 18

For those of you that are new to church. Moses was a guy that grew up in Egypt. He was raised by the Pharaoh, the ruler of Egypt. As he got older, he learned he was not the child of the Pharaoh but actually a child of the people enslaved by Pharaoh.

Through all kinds of miracles, he ended up leading all of his people, the slaves, out of Egypt and into another land. That is where we are going to pick up his story.

At a point when Moses is overwhelmed with his in life!

See the Bible tells us Moses was not a natural leader!

He had speaking problems…he was not confident in leading others…. often we think of Moses we think he is a Super Hero…

But he was just like us, a regular person….with issues….called by God to do something….the difference is he just chose to do it regardless of his past and his insecurities!

I know some of us in this room are overwhelmed……

Overwhelmed by our kids, our job, our debts, and so forth.

You that have a draining job… you just can't get it all done.

Your who are full-time students and you're trying to work thirty hours a week on top of school… your just feel overwhelmed.

Some of the marriages in the room…. feel defeated….

Grandparents…. feeling overwhelmed helping with grand kids and worried about the direction you see your grand-kids going...…..

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That is where we find Moses…….

Worn out by all of the problems of the people he was with…

And so, Moses' father in law Jethro, came up to him and said, 'You're going to have to STOP. Here's the advice that Jethro gave him,

Exodus 18:17-19 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good.

Not what church???

What if I told you that today that you're doing something that's NOT GOOD for your future story?

You've got a habit,

You've got a mindset

You've got an addiction

You've got an attitude

You've got a thought process

You've got something in your life that is not good for your future story.

Take a second…..what might that be in your life that is NOT GOOD?

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Verse 18, Jethro says:

You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.

Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you.

And I LOVE what he says

may God be with you.

Then he walks off and leaves Moses…..

No that is not what Scripture says at all!

See I know you all pictured your Mother-in-Law or Father-in-Law right then and said “I could see them doing that…..making a big fuss about my life….and then just saying “God be with you” like I am some lost cause……and walking off….

That is not what Jethro, Mosses father-in-law did!

He goes on to say…

You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him.

He says…Okay Moses your going to BURN out!!!! You need to learn to STOP doing some things and DELEGATE to others!

This was probably one of the HARDEST things I had to learn when I was in the business world.

Let me be an open book again.

I don’t say this to be cocky or conceited but I was good at my job when I was in the business world. When I was young I was advancing up SO fast in my career! And I thought NO one was as good as me…But I was working ALL the time…because I thought NO one could do it as good as me…and maybe that was true….

Then one day Rob Willet’s, a corporate guy for my company, sat me down and talked to me about how my career was going to be limited by my ability to delegate to others and raise up and release others.

And I was not going to become what I wanted to if I did not LEARN to STOP doing so much myself….

And it was a TOTALLY new paradigm for me….

See had I just read my Bible more I could have known this but at the time I care more about my career than God’s word so I didn’t know this…

Let me show you….Here is the advice….

20 Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave.

21 But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens.

22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.

Now look at how this ends!

If you will STOP trying to do everything!

If you will delegate to others!

If you will raise up and release future leaders!

IF you do this it says in verse 23…and IF means you have a choice….you can do this or not do this….but IF you do…..

23 If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.”

Wow!

Business owners did you hear that!

Managers did you hear that!

Parents did you hear that!

If you will STOP trying to do everything!

If you will delegate to others!

If you will raise up and release future leaders!

The good news is, Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said, and Moses actually stopped trying to do everything….which in so many ways brought him to the story that we now tell about Moses.

And do NOT miss the fact that God sent someone to point out something in Moses life that needed to change….Maybe God has, or will, put someone in your life to do the same!

Maybe you’re here today to hear me say you need to intentionally STOP something in your life!

Here's what I want you to do today, like we did last week, and this is in your notes:

What is one thing that's not good in your life? _________________________________________________________

Think of one thing, and only one thing, that you're doing that's not good.

We are going to commit that to God and ask Him to help us to stop doing what is not helpful to your future story.

Now, I want to give you a couple of reasons why you should stop. And there are many but I want to give you two that you may not think of.

Number one if you're taking notes is:

1. You don't know what you're missing until you stop.

If you're doing something that's not good and then you stop, you'll find there is something on the other side!!

You might finally have this feeling of:

Wow! Now I'm not overwhelmed, I've got margin and I've got time!

Now my relationships are better!"

Now I've got this peace and I'm not always looking over my shoulder wondering, am I going to get caught, or when this is finally going to catch up with me.

You don't know what blessings are on the other side of you stopping.

You don't know what you're missing until you STOP.

We see that in Moses’ life! He didn’t realize how overwhelmed he was until his Father-in-Law said you need TO STOP and he did!

2. You don't know what it will cost you if you don't stop.

If you're doing something that's not good and you don't stop it, it could cost you more than your willing to give up!!!!!!!

Think about Moses, play the story forward.

What could have happened to him if he continued to overwhelm himself and push it too hard?

We see this all of the time today. What could have happened?

He could have had a nervous breakdown.

He could have gone out and bought a brand new Chariot with 42” rims…he couldn’t afford….

Mosses could have gotten mad at God; "God you put this on me and these are your people and so forget you God!” And walk away from his Faith.

He could have gone and got a tattoo on the middle of his back…like lots of….wrong illustration

He could have died early from the stress of it…

He could have had a heart attack…

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Moses that wasn't perfect, but we know him as a great man of faith, he could have walked away from all of it and said, "It's too much, just forget about it."

His story could have been totally and completely different if he didn't STOP.

There's no telling what it could have cost him if he didn't STOP.

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So, what I want you to do is think about what's NOT GOOD in your life and play the story forward, play the story forward.

What happens if you don’t stop?

Where is this going?

Remember…..Direction not intention determines destination.

What is the direction of your story right now? Play it forward.

This might be a little dramatic in this exercise, but it serves a point.

Keep on overeating.

Keep on ignoring your body.

Keep on smoking or abusing your body.

Keep valuing work over family

Keep ignoring your spouse….

Keep refusing to do your homework…..

Keep getting drunk………..

Keep on doing drugs…………

Keep failing your classes….

Keep on sleeping to little and working too much….

Play the story forward, what's going to happen?

Are you ok with not walking your daughter down the aisle because you're dead from other stupid life choices?

Are you ok with never seeing your Grandkids because your broken family doesn’t want you around from what happened when they were kids?

Play the story forward.

Students…..Keep on partying with this really wild group of friends.

Play the story forward, you've seen it; one gets a DUI, one ends up in jail, one gets in a fight, one ends up with a kid with someone they don’t want to be with….some take their addictions on into their marriage and let it destroy their marriage over a very slowly.

Just play the story forward.

Keep overspending, keep spending more than you make and play the story forward when you look at your son and say, "I'm sorry but you can't play the sport you want to play because we can't afford it."

Or, "I'm sorry but you can't go to the school you want to go to because we can't live in this house anymore."

Play the story forward.

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So, let's pause for a minute and backtrack

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

If you believe in God chances are you can say, "Yeah, there's probably something different that God wants in my life.

God wants me to be more focused on my spouse & family,

God wants me to grow spiritually

God wants me to get my finances under control,

God wants me to take care of my body

God wants me to be more involved with my children

Think about it, what does God want you to want?

In light of what God wants you to want, what do you need to stop?

What does God want you to stop?

In light of the story that God wants you to tell, what do you need to stop so you can live the story that God wants you to tell?

What decision to stop do you need to make today in order to tell the right story tomorrow?

And when you think about this, there may be so many areas you could pick but just like last week PICK ONE

Remember, if you pick seven, you won't be successful at any.

Just one thing you need to stop.

If we can just START one new discipline and STOP one year after year after year.

After a decade, this adds up to tremendous Godliness and improvement in our lives!

You need to stop the dialog in your head…..

STOP that critical spirit…

STOP worrying…

STOP the negative self-talk….

STOP living in fear….

Now, what I'm going to do is be real transparent with you and I'm going to tell you some different things that, with the help of God, I've stopped over the years that helped me tell the story today that I really want to tell.

Students…..listen up…..One of the first things, I started externally happened when I got to college…. I stopped trying to be cool!!!

Because for me that led to all sorts of other dangerous sins and behaviors….

Students it is NEVER too late to STOP and change direction…..

As an adult…..years before I even went into full time ministry…. Jenny and I made the internal decision to STOP valuing money…..

I know that sounds odd….

But think about it…we stopped chasing the idea of bigger houses, newer cars, $400 UGH boots…..

And suddenly we had extra money….we weren’t stressed about bills….

Decisions I made then, determined the story I can tell today!

One more.

Years ago, I decided to STOP valuing work over family.

I will be honest….for most of my career before ministry…. I valued work and success more than my family.

When I first went into ministry, I fell back into that trap again…

So I STOPPED coming in on my days off.

I STOPPED getting home super late.

And so forth….

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What does God want you to stop?

Pick one thing, what does God want you to stop?

Some of you, you really need to stop being a slave to your job.

Some of you ladies, I just need to say, you need to quit looking at everybody else's Pinterest and get your own interest!

Get off Pinterest of Facebook and be a wife, be a mom, be present!

Guys quit hunting / fishing / fixing cars every night and spend time with your family…..

Some of you need to stop trying to control everybody and everything. You're driving your kids away, you're driving your spouse away; you need to stop being a control freak.

Some need to stop being critical and judgmental of everything, you pick everything apart; Maybe you've been picking this whole church service apart since you got here.

Stop being so judgmental and actually enjoy life and those things around you.

Some need to break up with that person. Everyone tells you they don’t understand why you’re with him….maybe you need to STOP being with him and see if you can really see why you are…..

Some need to stop overspending.

Some need to stop watching questionable movies

Some need to let go of a hurt.

What do you need to stop …. In order to tell the story God wants you to tell?

We'll close out with this,

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

That is what we are talking about today!!

THROWING off

STOPPING that thing that hinders

STOPPING that SIN in our life

And we do that by…..

2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

You may look at it and say, "But I've tried to stop and I can't stop!"

I'm telling you by the power of Jesus Christ you can stop anything He calls you to stop!

The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells within those of you who believe, and you can by His power stop!

Why does it matter?

Because the decisions that we make today determine the stories that we tell tomorrow.

Direction not intention determines destination in life.

If you're writing the wrong story, stop today.

I want to ask you a question, in closing…..

Life Application What discipline can you STOP that will help you tell the story God wants you to tell?

Let’s Pray…..