Comfort in Grief

You may feel yourself saying something like this, “I wake up. I push myself up on the side of the bed. Then it hits me. They’re gone. I hang my head. Here come the tears again. It feels so heavy. I feel heavy. Like my body weighs a ton. Like I’m pushing my way through knee-deep mud, every step. I’m exhausted. My heart feels so tired, so forlorn. Sad. That’s the word. I’m just so, so sad.

Yes, this is sad. Missing someone you love is hard enough. Knowing that they’re not coming back is gut-wrenching. The weight on your heart is immense. Sadness is a natural result. This sadness is healthy. Your heart is honoring your loved one. You are expressing your love. You miss them. Deeply. Badly.

You see, grief is a moving target. It never stays still. It’s constantly changing. Your heart has been hit, perhaps even crushed. The grief is intense. It runs deep—deeper than even you know. This is an emotional roller-coaster. There will be ups, downs, and sudden drops. You’ll get jostled around quite a bit. It can be frustrating, confusing, and even terrifying. But know that your grief honors your loved one. Your heart is expressing your love. God created you to love. You’re expressing the heart He gave you. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31: 24. Know that the Lord feels your sadness with you. He is closer than you know.

In the Bible, we see that the prophet Jeremiah knew all too well what grief was. He wrote a book called Lamentations. He was lamenting many sorrows. But, even in his suffering and lamenting, he knew that God was faithful. This also is what I want you to know today.

There is a hope to cling to in these trying times. God is still on the throne. God is here today, offering comfort to all who are grieving. As the prophet, Jeremiah, wrote in Lamentations 3:22-24, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.”

Hope in the Lord and ask Him to, “Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” as the psalmist did in Psalm 31: 9. Tell our Father that sorrow grips your heart. Ask him to Be your comfort to be your strength.

In Psalm 94:17-19, we read, “If the Lord had not been my help, my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”

The psalmist knows that they can call out to God in their difficulty, and He will help. He will give them what they need during their time of grief and struggle.

What we also see in this text is mixed emotions and thoughts. The psalmist is having thoughts of sorrow. He was in grief like you today. But in that grief, he knew that he could have comfort in the Lord. That God would give him His steadfast love. This also leads to another thought, that of love.

In death, we think about love a lot. We ponder it and sometimes allow ourselves to think we should have loved more. We should have done more. Don’t allow yourself to think way. Trust in the steadfast love of God to hold you up and rest in Him, knowing that your mom Debbie knew you loved her.

We also see thoughts of the brevity of life in the psalmist’s words. My soul would soon have lived in the land of silence. This is looking at the briefness of life. We see this in many Scriptures.

In Psalm 39:4-5, we read, “O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!”

We also see it in James 4:13-14, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

Life is short. It is but a vapor, a mist that is here this morning and gone before you realize it. This impresses on us a few items of what we should do.

1. It impresses on us the need to prepare.

Since we do not know, we need to be ready at any moment. We need to know that if we were to be gone today, those we love know they were loved. As important as this is, it makes us need to know the state of our souls. We need to know that we are Christ’s and will go to Him if our mist is cleared out today. Just as the psalmist said, “your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.” Be prepared by loving deeply but mainly by believing in Christ and being ready to face eternity.

Not only does the brevity of life impress on us the need to prepare but:

2. It inspires us to do some “repairing.”

If we are in bitter frustration at one another, know it is not worth it. This life is the only one we have. Why live it in bitter frustration. We need to love and care for one another. Live together in a manner that is right and beautiful, not wrong and ugly. This life is a mist, and it is quickly gone. Don’t allow minor or even significant difficulties to make you live in misery the rest of your days because you did not seek to make amends with people.

Let the brevity of life give you

Thoughts of Gratitude

1. For the blessings of God

He has blessed you with many memories. Even bad memories will come flooding in as good memories now. They may take on a view of funny stories or incidents, but they will come, and this is a blessing of the Lord for you in this time of grief.

2. For the advantages of our lives

We are allowed to know one another and have these relationships. We have great blessings with this. We are allowed a life and given great love for one another. This is an advantage that some do not have. We all need to love each other and care for one another because the Lord has placed us where we are for a reason. Let us enjoy these advantages He has given us and live well for the time we have.

3. For the privilege of our relationships

We have each other. This is a blessing. Many people have no one; let us never take for granted what we have. Life is short, and each relationship we have is a privilege that we will miss if something happens to the one we have a relationship with.

Even though all these earthly relationships are important, one relationship will give you true peace and comfort: one with Jesus Christ. He is the resurrection and the life, and when you believe in Him, nothing can separate you from that relationship. He will bear your burdens and turn your mourning into happiness and peace. He is for you, not against you, trust that and receive His peace and grace. Through Him, you can have real Joy and Peace. He tells us in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

Another peace you can have today is that God knew Debbie’s heart. He knew her better than anyone here. That is true peace to me because He knows all, and He is sovereign and righteous. Rest in the knowledge that God knew Debbie’s heart. Know that He gives you peace if you will rest in that.

I want to close with this poem that I think is fitting:

I am home in heaven, dear ones,

Oh, so happy and so bright!

There is perfect joy and beauty

in this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,

every restless tossing passed.

I am now at peace forever,

safely home in heaven at last.

There is still work waiting for you,

so you must not idly stand by.

Do it now, while life remaineth,

you shall rest in God’s own land.

When that work is all completed,

He will gently call you home.

Ah, the rapture of that meeting,

Oh, the joy to see you come!