The Fruit of Gentleness

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

This is Thanksgiving Week…families will be gathering together and well sometimes that can be a bit of a challenge. Families can either bring out the best of you or the worst of you. Let me encourage you this holiday season to really cultivate the Spirit of Gentleness when you are around your family this year. It is your opportunity to show Jesus to your family.

1. Although the world tells us to be assertive, the Word tells us to be gentle.

2. Tactful is thinking twice before saying nothing.

3. Tactful is the ability to think of things far enough in advance not to say them.

4. Tactful is the ability to stand on your own two feet without stepping on anybody’s toes.

5. People with tactfulness have less to retract.

Gentleness is very close to patience. It’s not surprising to find them both included in Paul’s list of the fruit of the Spirit. What’s the similarity and difference?

Well, if patience is the ability to endure hostility and criticism without anger, then gentleness is the ability to endure such things without aggression.

Gentleness shows itself when I’ve learned that the Christlike way to respond to conflicts and quarrels, rejection, unfairness, or harsh words spoken against me, is not with burst of rage and self-defense, not with harsh and aggressive words, not with angry gestures and facial expressions, —but rather, with softness, controlling my tongue and my temper.

Gentleness is also very close to humility, and sometimes they come together. For example, they are the first things Paul mentions when he tells his readers to live lives that are worthy of their calling in the gospel. Eph 4:1-2

Ephesians 4:1–2 NKJV

1 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love,

THE GENTLENESS OF GOD IN THE OT

As we are all aware by now the fruit of Spirit are characteristics of God Himself. Traits by which His actions towards His people have been felt and experienced all they way back to OT times.

the psalmists and others often speak of God in gentle terms. Of course, they also speak of his incredible power—mighty like the storm, with a voice to melt the mountains.

David compares God to the gentle shepherd caring for the needs of his sheep, leading them to calm water for drinking, fresh pasture for feeding, and protecting them through the place of danger.

Psalm 23:2–3 NKJV

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.

Isaiah develops the same picture. After describing God’s almighty power, Isaiah goes on:

Isaiah 40:11 NKJV

11 He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, And carry them in His bosom, And gently lead those who are with young.

Deuteronomy pictures God as a caring father. He carries his people as a father carries his children, to keep them out of danger. Of course, the parental picture includes discipline as well, but carried out within the context of gentle provision for all our needs.

Deuteronomy 1:31 NKJV

31 and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.’

And then there are some stories that portray God dealing with people tenderly—which we easily forget when we only recall the stories of his anger and judgment.

Think of Hagar. When Hagar first fled from Abraham and Sarah (in Gen 16) because Sarah was abusing her, Hagar was wandering in the wilderness, pregnant but facing certain death. Who found her? Not the gods of Egypt where she had come from and was probably trying to get back to, but the God of Abraham himself. And after God had given her comfort and a promise about the son she would bear, she became the first person in the Bible to give a name to God—“You are El Roi,” she said, “the God who sees me” (Gen 16:13). A foreign, slave, concubine woman! That was the gentleness of God for Hagar, and it happened again, when she was actually thrown out by Abraham with her young son Ishmael. The second time (Gen 21:8-21), God saved both their lives, providing water in the wilderness.

Think of Elijah. I love the gentle way God dealt with Elijah when he was feeling depressed and suicidal, and running for his life from the threats of Jezebel (in 1 Kings 19). When God found Elijah in the desert, sheltering under a juniper tree and wanting to die, God cared for him, giving him sleep and food. And what food—bread freshly baked in heaven and delivered by an angel! God’s gentleness is astonishing in that story

Then God took him back to Mount Sinai and gave him a great audiovisual demonstration of wind, earthquake, and fire. But, “The LORD was not in the wind . . . not in the earthquake . . . not in the fire” (1 Kings 19:11-12). So how then did God speak to Elijah? Through “a gentle whisper,” or in the older translations, “a still small voice.” God was gentle with his failing prophet. And then he restored him and sent him back to his mission. This was divine gentleness at work.

THE GENTLENESS OF JESUS

Then fast forward to the NT. Where Jesus, God with us, showing true gentleness, when he said Matt. 11:28-29

Matthew 11:28–29 NKJV

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Discipleship of Jesus, following Jesus, means becoming more and more like him—that is, being characterized by the gentleness and humility of Christ himself.

When Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, it was astonishingly gentle, even though it was also direct and truthful.

Jesus leads her gently to acknowledge her greatest need—the living water from God’s Messiah and a right relationship with God “in the Spirit and in truth” (Jn 4:23) through Jesus. The fact that he was speaking to her at all, let alone the fact that it was such a gentle, respectful conversation, was a shock to the returning disciples.

I could stand here this morning and give you example after example of how Jesus showed gentleness towards others through out His physical earthly ministry. But we just don't have the time it would take to do that.

So take my word for it. All through the NT within the four gospels we see Jesus calling for all to take upon themselves His yoke and learn from Him.

GENTLENESS AS THE CHRISTIAN WAY OF LIFE

Peter, who must have often remembered how gently Jesus dealt with him, tells us that this should be an important quality of the way we speak to people who are not yet Christians, perhaps especially when we are engaging with people of other faiths.

1 Peter 3:15 NKJV

15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;

If God has been gentle and gracious to me, and if I would like other people to be gentle with me when I mess up, then let me pray to be like that to them. As a forgiven sinner myself, let me welcome others to the fellowship of the forgiven. Let the gentle fruit of the Spirit ripen in my life and relationships.