Who not to invite

Recap: The Wise, The Fool, and the Evil.

Dr. Henry Cloud: Boundaries

If the chief descriptor of the wise person is that when the light shows up, he looks at it, receives it, joins it and adjusts his behavior to align with the light.

1. You talk to wise people about problems.

The fool does the opposite: he rejects the feedback, resists it, explains it away and does nothing to adjust to meet its requirements.. He’s never wrong: someone else is.

Whereas talking about a problem to a wise person helps, it is time to quit talking about the problem with a foolish person and time to have a different conversation. You have to take steps to protect what is important to you, the mission or other people. Give limits that stop the collateral damage of their refusal to change, and where appropriate, give consequences that will cause them to feel the pain of their choice not to listen.

2. You talk to fools about consequences.

We have identified the Wise and the Fool. Now it is time for us to identify the “Evil” person.

IDENTIFYING AN EVIL PERSON

A. Evil people have destruction in their hearts; they want to inflict pain.

Proverbs 9:7 NIV

7 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.

Whoever rebukes / corrects the wicked incurs abuse.

Proverbs 9:7b NLT: Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt.

Proverbs 9:7b ESV: He who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.

B. If you’re an optimistic, loving person, it may be hard for you to believe that there truly are bad people in the world.

Who has “Abused”, “Hurt”, or “Injured” you or your family?

C. Sometimes when you try to give them truth, they will stand up and point their finger and say, “I will bring this place down.”

Titus 3:10 NIV

10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.

There is no use talking to evil people at all.

Titus 3:11 NIV

11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

How to deal with evil people.

When you deal with an evil person, you have to go into protection mode, not helping mode, and it’s a big step to realize that there are people who hurt you because they want to. There are some people whose desire is to hurt others and, you have to protect yourself with lawyers, guns and money.

Do not hope for the evil person to change. Stay away, create the firmest protective ending that you can, and get real help to do it.

Use your lawyers, law enforcement (this is the guns part), and your financial resources to make sure you will not be hurt by someone who is trying to destroy you or the things that matter to you.

Making people decisions isn’t something that should ever be taken lightly, and it’s crucial to have good criteria for deciding whether or not to pursue relationships with them.

You cannot deal with all people in the same way, but once you learn the character traits that give real reason to hope that they can be different, you can know better whom you want to invite into your tomorrow.

Letting the people that hurt you and the the rest of the family go. - Mom