Description of a Christian: Relationship with Others

James 4:1-8

James 4:1–8 ESV

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”? But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

We are doing a 5-part series on the Book of James. The book of James can be viewed as a mini-instruction manual of what a Christian should look like.

Part 1 - Origination of temptation and the cycle of sin.

Part 2 - The aspects of a Christian’s faith.

Part 3 - A Christian and their tongue.

Part 4 - Christian and their relationships with others (Today)

Part 5 - Expectations of a Christian

Today, Part 4 - The Christian and their relationship with others.

- We have not, because we ask not.

We have not, because we pray amiss. We ask for things just to satisfy our own desires.

Knowing the difference between when we ask for something we need versus something we want. This boils down to our heart condition. There is nothing wrong with asking for something in the right heart.

Think as a parent, if your child wants something and you think they can handle it, you want to give it to them because you love them.

We ask for things as adults, but sometimes we ask for things that we are either not spiritually mature enough or lack the self-control for this particular thing. God is a loving Father. He knows if He gave it to us, the thing would begin to control us and not the other way around.

Game System Example

1 Kings 3:9

1 Kings 3:9 ESV

Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?”

King Solomon asked for wisdom from a pure heart. God was pleased that he asked this and went above and beyond what Solomon asked for. God blessed him with the discerning mind, riches, honour, and a long life.

We know Solomon got so wrapped up in his wisdom, that his intellect became his god. He put more faith in intellect than in the God who gave it to him. We see the downward spiral of King Solomon as he wrote in

Ecclesiastes 2:17-18

Ecclesiastes 2:17–18 ESV

So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind. I hated all my toil in which I toil under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to the man who will come after me,

How does what we pray for affect our relationships with others? Quite a bit. It is a matter of the heart. What are our priorities? Do our desires for material things dictate our actions? If it does, then we are less likely to be loving and understanding with someone else when they do something we do not like.

This is not about other people is about our self. Remember, this book is a manual of how a Christian should be. Are we more angry at those around us, or do we pray and want to bless those around us? Is our anger or frustration a sign of something inside of us that needs to be dealt with and left at the foot of the cross?

This is not condemnation. None of us is perfect. We all deal with baggage in some form or another. This is about being the best for our Father, our God. Walking in the footsteps of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

When I needed some new perfume, I asked Mike to pick one out for me that he really liked. Now, if picked out something that smelled like a freshly fired gun, then we would have to talk.

Dad told the story of a pig farmer who attended the church he was pastoring. He would go out there and visit him. The farmer would offer him a Pepsi and it would taste like pig smell. The farmer would turn to him and say, “Pastor. can you smell that?” Dad would say, “Yes, I can smell that”. The farmer would reply, “That is the smell of money”.

Now, I never wanted to smell like money.

What is the scent our Lord smells from us? Is it a beautiful aroma from a heart completely sold out to Him? Or is the aroma a little stinky?

2 Corinthians 2:15

2 Corinthians 2:15 ESV

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing,

What is our aroma to Christ? What is our aroma to the world? If we are stinky and have body odor, we do not like to relish in it. We take a shower. We use soap. We may use body spray. We want to smell better. That is the nature of the human existence. We know on our own, we stink. This world wants to be around those who have a beautiful scent.

What is our scent? Is it beautiful? Does our choices and the way we interact with people, draw them closer to Christ?

Matthew 5:13

Matthew 5:13 ESV

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet.

Conclusion:

A - Acknowledge

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

B - Believe

Acts 16:31 “And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.””

C - Confess

Romans 10:9-10 “because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”