Unwrapped: Getting What You Don't Deserve

Video

Introduction

Our series this advent season is tracing the story of Jesus through unlikely people. Those who were unlikely, unexpected, unworthy, and undeserving relatives of Jesus in his family history. One of Jesus’ best friends, Matthew, is writing to a congregation much like this and he is explaining to them that the Jesus they believed in really is the Messiah. He really is the One they had been expecting through the Promises of the Old Testament.

Here’s how he starts his story of Jesus’ birth:

An account of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the Son of David, the Son of Abraham: Abraham fathered Isaac,Isaac fathered Jacob,Jacob fathered Judah and his brothers, Judah fathered Perez and Zerah by Tamar… (Matthew 1:1-3)

When Matthew includes these somewhat shady characters he is reminding us that they aren’t just a part of the story they are the point of the story of Jesus. The promised Messiah, the Christ, comes not for the worthy but the unworthy. He comes to seek and save the lost. He comes for the sick. He comes for sinners. Sinners like Tamar, the first woman to show up in Matthew’s family history of Jesus. Tamar’s story is also the story of Judah. Matthew tells us that Judah fathered Perez and Zerah by Tamar. This relationship Judah had with Tamar isn’t exactly what we would include in our family story. But Matthew does.

Judah was one of the 12 sons of Jacob. Judah wasn’t the oldest son, but he ended up being one of the most important. One of Jacob’s favorite sons is Joseph. The other 11 brothers of Joseph, including Judah are jealous of all the affection Jacob has for this son. They also don’t really buy into all the promises that had been given to Jacob regarding his future and the coming descendent. Joseph does. And that becomes a point of contention. The brothers want to kill Joseph, but Judah convinces the other brothers to sell Joseph into slavery. And that’s what they do. Judah comes off as a bit of an opportunist. Yes, he saved Joseph’s life, because he was his brother, but still… sold him as a slave. All the brothers lie about what happened to Joseph, telling their father that a wild animal got him. And Judah is a big part of that coverup as well.

What we tend to do when we get to this part of the story is skip the next chapter and go right to the story of Joseph. When I say we skip… we skip. We ignore. We might as well take Genesis 38 and rip it out of our Bibles. This is not one of those stories we tell in Sunday school. This isn’t one that we highlight at Christmas. One of the big reasons is that this story is R-rated. We have a tough time explaining this to our kids. But even as we soften what actually happens here between Judah and Tamar, I think we skip this chapter because of how it ends. We don’t like how it is resolved. We’d rather not talk about it. It’s not just the sex stuff. We don’t like explaining the main point of the story. but that’s what we will do this morning.

Here’s how this all goes down. Judah’s story in chapter 38 of Genesis begins with the news that he has three sons and as the custom was for that day right around the time Joseph is sold, got a wife for his firstborn son whose name was Er. Which I don’t know how they came up with that name, right what do you want to name our son dear, er. Sounds good. And the wife he found for her was named Tamar.

Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. Now Er, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the LORD’s sight, and the LORD put him to death.

Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife. Perform your duty as her brother-in-law and produce offspring for your brother.”

But Onan doesn’t. What he did was evil in the LORD’s sight, so he put him to death also. (Genesis 38:6-10)

You’ll have to read Genesis 38 to see exactly what Onan does there that is so obnoxious to God. But let me say something about this. The problem with Onan isn’t the act of what he did. The problem was why he did it. Onan has no desire to marry Tamar and continue the family line. He not only dishonors Tamar, but he gives God the old stiff arm. He has no desire to play a role in the line of the Promised One. He’s telling God off. And that invites God’s judgment.

We’re down to brother number 3, but he’s too young:

Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He might die too, like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house. (Genesis 38:11)

If we left everything right there, it’d all be good with us. Certainly Judah felt this way. Seems like a pretty boring story to this point, other than two brothers who were evil are killed by God himself, which also isn’t an everyday occurrence. Still… Tamar is back home with dad. End of story. Which is what Judah wants. But that’s not where it ends. Somewhere along the way Tamar has begun to believe that there’s something special going on with this son she’s supposed to have. Tamar somehow, someway has begun to think that this God of Jacob’s Judah’s father has something special going on. She may have heard the stories about granddad-in-law’s seeing a stairway to heaven in the middle of the night. Grandpa’s wrestling with an angel. The promises to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Maybe she’s heard the story of Rebekah. Maybe she begins to suspect that two of her husbands are dead because of a son that is coming through her.

So we get to this:

After a long time Judah’s wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had finished mourning, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers. Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” So she took off her widow’s clothes, veiled her face, covered herself, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the way to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had grown up, she had not been given to him as a wife.

Ohhh… that’s an interesting tidbit. Tamar waits a long time. So long, in fact, that the son of Judah’s that was promised to her and was in fact, by their customs and arrangements, supposed to be her husband, is now all grown up and hasn’t made the first move toward her.

Verse 12 tells us in the course of time, in others words a lot of time had passed and Judah who promised Shelah to Tamar had forgotten all about her either intentionally or accidently who knows. Doesn’t matter. Judah has mistreated Tamar at no fault to herself but because of his own evil sons. A lot of time passes and how horrible it must have been for Tamar to be stuck in a state of obligation to this family but of have her father in law ignore her and not even take care of her like the law required even though Shelah was grown up. And this is creepy, but culture.

Tamar finds out Judah is headed to a party near her. Well shearing sheep. Close enough. So Tamar who for years had been dressing like a widow as the law required changes her clothes and covers her face with a veil and goes and sits along the path on the entrance to the place her father in law is going.

You can just tell where this is headed. The rest of this chapter tells us that Judah sees a woman after the party where he probably isn’t in his best of mind because of what happened at the party, but does not recognize her appearance nor does he recognize her voice so you know how long it has been since he has seen this woman he is obligated to take care of. Judah thinks she is a member of a certain profession, sometimes called the oldest profession. He thinks she is a prostitute. Sex for hire.

Judah and this woman start with a conversation about how much this world’s oldest profession is going to cost him. They settle on the price of a goat. He didn’t have a goat with him so he she wants some sort of pledge that Judah is going to pay and didn’t trust him to send it so he promises her by giving her his signet ring and his staff, two very important things that show the identity of Judah but things he would get back when he sent the goat.

Judah leaves this place and goes and puts her widow clothes back on, and low and behold she’s pregnant. A child is on the way. Meanwhile, Judah keeps his deal. He has a friend take the young goat to pay the woman for the service and get back his ring and staff… and well, what do you know… they can’t find the woman. He starts asking around for what he thought was a temple prostitute and no one knows her or where she could be found.

The friend goes back to Judah and Judah wants to drop the whole thing. There is no way this is going to get out. The cover up has begun. Forget the ring (which is no small matter in that day, by the way). Forget the staff. Let’s just put this all behind us and under the rug. That skeleton is going to stay in that closet.

About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law, Tamar, has been acting like a prostitute, and now she is pregnant.” “Bring her out,” Judah said, “and let her be burned to death!” (Genesis 38:24)

Yo dude. Wow.. aren’t we the self-righteous one, Judah? You know… Judah has been piling up the skeletons. Sold brother into slavery. Lied to dad for years. Promised to take care of his daughter-in-law and did. Sleeping with a prostitute. Lost the family signet ring that was necessary to conduct business and function as proof of identity. All those skeletons. And that closet door is about to be opened.

As Tamar was being brought out, she sent her father-in-law this message: “I am pregnant by the man to whom these items belong.” And she added, “Examine them. Whose signet ring, cord, and staff are these?” (Genesis 38:25)

You could have heard a pin drop. This is a courtroom scene. Pregnant Tamar led out to face the charges. And she brings her own defense with her own evidence. Evidence that incriminates the accuser and the judge, Judah himself. Judah is exposed. The lie is uncovered. And here’s Judah’s response:

Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” (Genesis 38:26)

More righteous. Can you say that a little louder, Judah? More righteous. Judah, we can’t hear you. More righteous. Judah, you’re not righteous at all. Can you please point out for us who the righteous one is in this story? It’s Tamar. It’s the one who posed as a prostitute in order to secure the family line. More righteous.

Tamar isn’t pregnant with one but two. She has twins, one of whom Perez will become important to the life of Jesus. And Judah, some 20 years later, puts his own life on the line for the sake of another brother. And he receives a promise that someday there will be a king in his line that will rule over the entire world. I mean, this is an absolutely creepy story. The kind of thing you hide and bury and hope nobody discovers.

An account of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the Son of David, the Son of Abraham: Abraham fathered Isaac,Isaac fathered Jacob,Jacob fathered Judah and his brothers, Judah fathered Perez and Zerah by Tamar… (Matthew 1:1-3)

Are you kidding me? This is the family of Jesus. And Matthew highlights Tamar. Judah and Tamar, two broken people are part of the family light and they are highlighted. Not because of how great they are but because they are sinners. That’s the point of Matthew’s story of Jesus. Jesus came for sinners. Jesus came for Tamar. Jesus came for Judah.

Forgiveness is never, ever deserved. Forgiveness is given only to unworthy and undeserving people. People like Judah, like Tamar, like me, like you are not just a part of the story of Christmas, we are the point of the story of Christmas.

The great missionary Paul once said this:

For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For rarely will someone die for a just person—though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8)

While we were still sinners. While we were like Judah and Tamar. Christ came as a baby, grew up to adulthood, and then died for us.

Christmas is good news because at Christmas we know God is drawing near to us and his grace is available to you . It doesn’t start with you cleaning up your act. It starts with Jesus acting in your place fulfilling what you could not. His grace is not about you fixing you, but it is about Jesus changing us. A grace that is big enough to deal with the past. A grace that is big enough to tell you, you are forgiven because of Jesus even if you can’t forgive yourself.

The gift that you need the most is forgiveness. You are carrying a burden you were never meant to bear. You are a part of the story of Christmas not because you have been good this year but because of your sin. And the same is true of those who have sinned against you. No amount of goodness or making up to you can make the way you have sinned against you whole or right. Just as it is impossible for you to approach God in that way, it is impossible for the one who have hurt you and I know some of those hurts are very deep and the scares might not be visible but are etched in your mind. There is only one cure for sin. And his name is Jesus, and he gives a gift of forgiveness to you.

And that gift come through a person, like Judah someone who deserved to be counted out and kicked out but instead got Grace. The good news is Christmas is not about us coming to God and fixing the past and present, and promising to do better in the future. No, the Good News of Christmas is the gift given that you don’t deserve. That change in your life and mine doesn’t come from within it comes from without from Jesus and what he has done on our behalf.

Christmas unwrapped. Unlikely. Unexpected. Unworthy. Undeserving. That’s Tamar. That’s Judah. That’s me. That’s you.

Let’s Pray.

The story of Tamar is sordid. But Christ died for the sordid. We don’t like telling that story because it hits too close to home. And we want to point fingers at Tamar. But God pointed the finger at Jesus. Tamar gets forgiveness. We get forgiveness right here at this Table. This is Tamar’s hope. This is our hope. Christ’s broken body for broken people.