Times Apart: Marriage As Glory 25

INTRODUCTION:

When a man and woman marry, they are not joined together physically the way Siamese twins are joined. This means, obviously, that a married man and a married woman are the same biological individuals that they were when they were single. But they are covenantally united—and capable of physical separation. Not only are they capable of such separation, a certain part of their assigned vocation requires it. How are we to understand our responsibilities with this in mind?

THE TEXTS:

“These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you. But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you” (John 14: 25-26). “But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me: And ye also shall bear witness, because ye have been with me from the beginning” (John 15:26). “Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you” (John 16: 7).

OVERVIEW:

The Lord Jesus, before He ascended into heaven, instructed His disciples on what He would do in order to deal with the effects of their separation. He was going because He had work of preparation to do. “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also” (John 2: 2-3). The Lord Jesus, the bridegroom, is going away because He has work to do, but the norm is not permanent separation. He will come again, and bring us to Him so that where He is, we may be also. This is the eternal norm. But what does He do in the course of the separation. The most significant thing He does, as noted in our texts, is the giving of the Spirit as Comforter. The Comforter will be sent in the name of Jesus, and He will teach and bring to remembrance the things said by the bridegroom while He was on earth (14:26). The Comforter will testify of the character of Jesus (15:26). And last, there are benefits that will come from this separation that can come no other way (16:7). 

AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH:

We have noted numerous times that husbands are to imitate Christ in how they love their wives. But we have also emphasized that husbands are not capable of reenacting certain features of Christ’s love (like the substitutionary atonement). Does that not apply here as well? Of course, when husbands are on a two-week business trip, or even if they are gone to work for the day, they are not in a position to “send the Holy Spirit.” But although husbands are not to reenact a substitutionary death, they are called to imitate a substitutionary death. And though they cannot reenact Pentecost on their own little family level, they are called to imitate it. But how?

ONE SPIRIT:

But let us lay some groundwork first. The Lord tells us that He has made husband and wife one. “And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously” (Mal. 2: 15-16). God has made husband and wife one, and two times here He commands husbands to take heed to their spirit, that they not deal treacherously (unfaithfully) with the wife of their youth.

Now aside from “reenacting” Pentecost, what is the nature of the human spirit in Christ? This is an enormous subject, but the intent here is to show that our relationships are covenantally and organically “active” even when we are out of earshot. Two married individuals in Christ who are separated are not two isolated marbles, now in different boxes, but rather they are more like two leaves on the same invisible twig.

The apostle Paul promises to be with the Corinthians in spirit as they take action to discipline a man (1 Cor. 5: 3-4). This is not a form of apostolic astral travel, but rather a covenantal reality—“as absent in body, but present in spirit.”

APPLICATIONS:

Given this covenantal unity, which a husband and wife certainly have, how may a husband and wife practically apply it when they are separated? How may they apply it when they are separated for the day? and when they are separated for longer times apart? These applications are necessary at all times, but it becomes more obvious when providence has you apart for extended periods of time.

First, don’t sin while apart. Do not deal treacherously (Mal. 2: 15-16). And do not sin together while apart (Acts 5: 1-11).

Second, resolve to impart comfort in an ongoing way.  This is what Jesus has done for His bride—He sends both Spirit and letters. News and contact encourages. “I am glad of the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus: for that which was lacking on your part they have supplied. For they have refreshed my spirit and yours: therefore acknowledge ye them that are such” (1 Cor. 16: 17-18). And in this, think biblically about technological blessings, whether email, cell phones, and any thing we cook up. “As ye also learned of Epaphras our dear fellowservant, who is for you a faithful minister of Christ; Who also declared unto us your love in the Spirit” (Col. 1: 7-8).

Third, walk in the same spirit, together or apart. “I desired Titus, and with him I sent a brother. Did Titus make a gain of you? walked we not in the same spirit? walked we not in the same steps?” (2 Cor. 12: 18).

And last, extend a blessing. A blessing is not just something done by patriarchs on their deathbeds, ministers in the benediction, and by everyone when a person sneezes. Bless. “Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen” (Gal. 6:18). “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen” (Phm. 25).