Don Morrison celebration of Life Dec 11, 2021

Sure, if Don had heard them, we would have liked them. So, please join us in singing. The first song. Rescue story really quick before we can start on this. Don would show up at my house, a lot unannounced, and we didn't because we just love Don and he always said he would do as you walk in the door. Give Teresa hug. You would hand me a dr. Pepper, every single time. I pay my Penance. I'm like, what do you mean, you're paying your Penance? He goes, I don't know. I just feel like I have to give you a dr. Pepper, every time I come over.

I'm at you guys right now to forgive me, if we get through this and I don't make it. A Don was by far the nicest person I have ever met in my entire life. There was not a day, went by that man would not allow me to be upset. Not allow me to be angry or whatever was going on. If you showed up my house. I was having a bad day. He wasn't having it. I got yanked outside and I had to talk into by the maple tree out by my house. So and my favorite thing he did was Don never said, amen. He said, amen. Amen. Amen. I'd love to three times every single time. You got to love that guy.

the scripture tells us Psalms 9, Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue him. I will protect him for the for, he acknowledges my name.

0.

Hampton.

In the shed.

Jesus rescue story from a rescue story. Rescue dog.

You, are you home?

Sephora near me.

Songs of Rita. Liberty Travel right away.

Where would I carry my soul? From Death. From a rescue story? Never give up on me. You never gave up on me. You are my testimony.

You never gave up on me.

Indiana football. Never.

You are calling me.

Carry my soul from Jeff.

You are on your way.

You are my.

John was born February. What? 1 2 3, Dan, you hear me now?

1, 2 3. All right, John was born. February 15th, 1965 and he grew up like a lot of us in a blended family. He told me that his stepfather was actually pretty involved in this life up to a point and that point was the day. He came home. And who's who's my mom, dad? Who's this other guy? Oh, yeah. That's your birth father. And he said that from that day on his stepfather was never the same to him. And but then again, his birth, father, wasn't all that great to him. Either that great after all.

His family life was stormy and you in his high school years. He got into alcohol. There were many fights at home. And you had gone in his whole life. He loved and honored his mother deeply

and so now, even if

1st Peter, 3:14 who is going to harm you, if you are eager to do good, but even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear their threats. Do not be frightened.

They say, sometimes you win some sometimes.

Stewart on this stage night after night.

All right. Now, I just can't.

Czc. There's nothing down.

What will I say when I'm done?

Nacee head on, it takes a little say to move the mountain.

A little baby thing is right now. God, when you choose to leave mountains on Moon,

To behave the same way. If you just

Oh my days. Jesus song.

Mom.

His world.

John may have found his way to alcohol in his team's but he also found his way to a really big huge youth group. He used to tell me that at the time it was the fastest growing youth group in the country. At least. That's probably what the leaders told them.

He must have really liked it at some point. He felt called to be a youth pastor. He was excited about that and he went to talk to his youth pastor about it. And his youth, pastor was this flashy impressive guy with little time or respect for the average and Ordinary People and he wasn't impressed by Dawn and he let him know it and he shattered Don's dreams and be cause more problems in John's life that I'm then I'm free to share. But someone at the church had noticed, John and thought. Yeah, he is called to this. Someone said, if you will go to Bible College. I'll pay your way. But by then, his heart was so defeated in that area. He just went a different direction.

So the last one there, even if I remember the first time that we did, that one when we were persevered we're playing here. We had a lot of people in tears, which was pretty awesome to the Holy Spirit, really moves to that song. I've never gone shown to my house really a like I said I was going on because that's all I got. What's wrong with that song. He was absolutely nothing and he goes in the way that you guys did it because it sounded so Angelic when you guys were all up there. Together, just coming together as one the same and That song. As I know, he was that song cuz he has told us.

Proverbs 24:16 says for though I fall I will rise again. Though. I sit in the darkness. The Lord will be my light.

Do my heart.

there's a

I can say. Here it is.

Jesus has overcome.

And the gray.

The victim used.

He has written.

When do you call?

What is The Rock?

Real real.

There's a dick.

When is spring?

And the Shadows.

Jesus has overcome.

The victory is won.

Pee pee.

In-N-Out.

Where do you work?

Woohoo.

John married way too young the first time and as you might expect, it didn't last. Later, he would marry he married again, but he found a career in heavy equipment and he drove those machines that shape the ground. I'm pretty sure he drove those machines. That shape the ground for neighborhoods and shopping centers and one day he hooked onto something big and he worked at it awhile and got it loose and he got it out and drink it down to the landing and hey boss. Look what I got. It was this huge dinosaur bone. It is his boss is going to Spirit right away now. Gil, we got to get rid of this before they shut us down. I thought that was funny. John likes, working the heavy equipment, he and he also liked the wages that came with it. Somehow there was an accident that ended his career in heavy equipment drastically, reduced his income, MetLife adjustment. Also ended the second marriage then is when he turned more heavily to drinking and do drugs.

Proverbs 11:28 tells us those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will Thrive like a green leaf. So, I know John Donne. Sorry, my brain is all messed up tonight. I do. I would like us to Rejoice, right? Be happy. So let's do something he would do, if he were here in this. Everybody stand, please let us rejoice in this song. How do I turn my volume?

Jason killed at his ball.

Here in this morning, Maryland.

Like a tree planted by the water. We never will run Drive.

John.

Other jobs.

We're reaching out to show them.

Video game.

Johnston Road, 45. 3D World.

William Segal.

Anything is Possible.

Google Play on speaker.

Dammit, Daniel popsicle.

What's up, Don was on that path of drugs and alcohol and other mistakes, and eventually he couldn't stand that path anymore and he started turning in a different direction. Heading down the clean path and heading on the path. Back to Jesus, you know, John has to work with teams and he would wonder he'd ask me, you know, after all these years. Could I really? Work with youth. Could I move towards being a youth. Pastor and I enjoyed many Bible studies with Dawn and with Jason and a few others. We got to know each other pretty well from those when an opportunity came with Celebrate Recovery to do, the team's Boyd on was was more than happy to do that. And eventually he also I talked him into to being our teen Sunday school guy and then he got the opportunity to do the the teen program, The Landing out at Fall City, Celebrate Recovery. and,

John invested in his kids, he worked on his lessons and he also bought them Bibles. I lost track of how many times he came to me and said, hey bastard. A would you order Rex many more Bibles, you know, the ones that we've been getting with the study notes and stuff and sure I'll do that. I was kind of his his Banker on that. Sometimes he had the money by the time they came in, and sometimes he made payments, but he wanted, he wanted.

His kids have Bibles.

All right. And that's where we go into. I Can Only Imagine.

Philippians 4:13. Jesus says, I can do all things afraid. They say, I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

I Can Only Imagine.

When I wall. By your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see. when you say, Is before me, I can only imagine.

Surrounded by fire. What will my heart? Who will I stand in your presence to? My knees will love you. Able to speak like an old lady?

I Can Only Imagine.

I Can Only Imagine.

when that day comes, and I find myself. Standing in the sun. I can only imagine win all. I would do. He is forever forever worship you. I can only imagine, I Can Only Imagine.

Surrounded by Your glory. What will my heart beat playlist.

Are you already in bed?

I Can Only Imagine.

Yeah.

When all I was you. Is forever, forever worship.

Only Imagine.

You knew John. Do you know that for years, he was ready to go to heaven. He was secure enough in his faith. He knew enough about it. Had experienced enough of God's grace and God's healing that he was ready to go to heaven. But like most of us here. He wasn't really planning on going anytime soon. He had things he wanted to do. He wanted to be trained to lead you. So he talked to me, about passing me, talk to others about other Bible training programs. You wanted to grow spiritually and maybe someday, find a Godly woman. it was nice to see his relationship growing with Debbie, but When he couldn't eat due to his job, pain. And his pain in his gut boy, he was determined gum. That Monday was going to see his doctor and try and gets put into the hospital. So on Monday, November 15th, Debbie took Dawn to see his doctor in Oregon City, who immediately sent him to the hospital for us here in Dallas, Debbie became the main contact, the information of what was going on with Don though, Dan and I both were able to see him once as pastor, but eventually they were just nobody coming in. He was just so sick. John Spence 19 rough days and had four operations to seal up that leaks in his abdomen. His body was worn out and the aesthetic that they use to put you under for an operation. Had it it stays in your body a long time. So I understand that by the time they done for operations. They wouldn't want to do another operation for month because the likelihood of waking up what took longer each time and eventually you they weren't going to do a fourth operation. However, all four operations failed. I remembered on talking to me on the phone. After the third one. He said the surgeon and his assistant, they were really excited but I think they got this time but the all four surgeries failed and on Saturday December 4th about 4:15. Don was released from his suffering and entered the joy of meeting his Lord face to face his son Eric was there. I know his name, Eric Martin and his daughter-in-law. I don't know her name and she was there as well. When Dawn passed. Now, is the time I planned on open mike who wants to hustle the Mike around? Will you have a chance to share?

When Don showed interest in starting to do the landing and so we needed a male and a female. So I was the female that was working with him and he, he get out the curriculum and he's had very linear thinking. It says to do this. And this is how you do it and soap. Well, sometimes we just didn't have that. So we just don't have that when he was working with me. It's like, trust me. Don will get through this. We got this and so we'd start off with one thing in the curriculum. I mean, we get the message, we get the message completely through, but we'd be doing it a whole different way. He'd be looking at me. Like what? You know, it's just, I just love my conversations with Dawn and then we hired him. I had to come join the team at Hometown postal and just know his face and his love and Christ and having that mail presents there. That I mean, that really helped Dan out with that balance of all that estrogen. Yeah, yeah, I could go talk their mail and their mail shop UNICEF. No cupboards and counters and just know this different stuff like that. but, Dawn young cuz he did that heavy construction and he got on disability and he just kind of felt like part of his his part of not. Being a contributing member to society was just kind of like low. And when he started working there, he had a purpose. He had, he knew he knew that was his mission field when he go to work. He showed up full of Christ, prayed up and ready to serve the community. So, I mean it was just as I loved working with Don. I love my conversations with on. I love picking on Don. So he was an amazing man and you just that love of Christ that he had, was just unbelievable.

Well, she's passing to my camera. When I first met Don we here in this church. I mean, I'm a short guy. I know this and when I walk in, he comes walking up to me, I'm looking like, This a scam and you make me feel short because you ain't sure. You're just vertically challenged. I was like, I like this guy and it just his positiveness. I mean, even if it didn't matter what day it was, I can remember, is I come to church angry about something. You know, it didn't matter. I walked in that door and I wasn't allowed to walk through those doors. If I didn't let it go, non was right there to make sure it was left right there. And so I mean that man he's always made you smile always made you laugh. But if I ever needed somebody to talk to, I can always count on him always.

So, what? I've met a lot of great people through this church, you know, of it like last five years, almost now, since this guy, drugged me in the door, the first time, but Dawn was my best friend. He was more than a mentor. He was like, family to me and I Try not to get super emotional bit. Yeah. I knew that. My life verse is Proverbs 27:17 as iron sharpens iron one man, sharpens. Another Now ladies can put it as women, we can put it as whatever. But it's it's who you are is who you keep your life with. So Don ask if it's okay, if I think Debbie was with him that day, if he brings his full chainsaw over, he got this awesome deal and he wants to bring this chainsaw over so we can fix it. Right and I'm like, okay bring the chainsaw over. So here comes down with this box of broken parts just crappy crappy 13 in Polson and a whole bagful of replacement parts and tools. I told him how ugly, how much garbage is thing was, I told might go buy him a new chainsaw. If he just throw the thing away. It was worthless. Don tells me. We'll get it fixed. I'm like, okay, if you're down, I'm down. He's like, I bought everything gas, oil fuel. You name it. We break this thing apart. We put it back together. Starts up, it works. We go limits, Pat's Big Cedar Tree and whole time. It's choking. It's pit. And its sputtering, it's dying. And he's like, you got to have faith in that chainsaw brother. He says, I named it and I'm like, yeah, right, and he picks up and on the bottom of this chainsaws has piece of tape. This is Ricky.

He says, he just got out of a little faith as he sits there. Sharpening, that played. Done with my piece of iron.

I didn't even know Don all that long.

Every time I looked at him, I just, I saw God.

I've had a lot of, Reptiles in my life.

but the hardest thing that I've ever dealt with, Today. That I found out that.

My soon-to-be-born son. Had a pretty high chance that he wouldn't make it.

If I shut off I just would have known that. I didn't worry. I was strong for my wife.

I was just numb to the world and I don't even know why I had to go to The Postal Service. I never been there before. I've, if I got to do something, I can stop at the post office and drop off a letter, never needed anything there. For some reason that day, I decided. That I would go there and drop off my letter whatever I had to do. And I was just everything fuzzy closed off to the world following.

Like a zombie doing my daily routine, and I walked in that door. I looked at dawn. We're down to every Shield that I have.

I cried like a little baby.

Don't look to me, just not didn't say a word, just walked up and gave me a big hug. He had no idea what was going on. And he said, it's alright, it's going to be okay. I see you have no idea what I'm going through. Said, no, I don't. But God does. And he's with you.

Indian on explain everything to him and told him what was going on. Told him that my son has a 25% chance that he's not going to make it and he's going to have that to me and really high chance that it wouldn't make it through his first couple years and down looked at me and smiled, and I thought

He said you got a 75% chance of your son's. Fine. What are you worried about?

then I found out on the 30th of November that After a couple weeks after, my son was born that he does not have bested me and he's 100% fine.

And I so wanted to share that with Dawn. That's all I could think of was that man pulled me from the darkest place I've ever been. And I need to share this Joy with him even though he didn't never worried about it.

and, then I found out about this and I know he knows but

that man is the happiest person I've ever met and there's times that that's made me mad because

no matter what he faced. He did it with a smile on his face and that got passed on to all of us. And I just wish all of you could have a little bit of his joke.

so, I remember, I didn't know Don very well either but I remember. This year.

I don't know. Maybe it was you Debbie and this year? He got pretty. He got pretty into our rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. And he wasn't very regular like before he would come in, occasionally, whatever. And this year. He keep, he became pretty regular. And I remember, I started building a huge resentment against him and Debbie because I was like, oh, this is a Don and Debbie show. They're just coming in and taking over the world in like, you know what I mean? And what happened was God, quickly shut that down, God, quickly, shut that. That negativity in my heart down and, and open my eyes to Something Beautiful that was happening with, with Dawn, Debbie. Debbie helped him, get into the rooms regularly. And and they, they started building this great relationship and like they were leaders. They were leaders and they LED our group to do events. They we did this camping trip this summer. And after that camping trip, I was like, I will go camping with you guys. I need a like you guys are on point. You got stuff. We're ready to go. Everything's planned like food. Like I will have a camp with you any day and it just it brought it brought a joy to my heart to see somebody helping Dawn, get into a place where like he could feel comfortable, like he started sharing in the rooms. He started opening up and he didn't do that often and an even when Dawn wasn't okay, like, he would make sure that you knew that everything was going to be okay, and that he would be okay. And I just really, really appreciated that I he became our, he became our treasurer for our group and he, I mean, he took that and he ran with it. Like I've never seen anybody take a service position in my life. Like he was like, this is what I am. This is what I'm doing. He got the book. He was like, on point with the books, like, I mean, he had the money ready, every would like it was just and now I'm like, who do I go for through the money? Like he, he, he meets me at church. We get the money and I go and I repeat that he has me sign for the receipts in like, you know, I mean it was just He was a really good person and I'm really glad that he got the opportunity to. To open up and to be with somebody that brought such a good, such a more goodness out of him. I truly truly respected him, and I respect you very much, and I miss you and that. I know that he's in a better place and thank you.

Dawn started out as my friend.

Then with my coworker. And then it became my brother.

We with the mountain gospel Fellowship this year that we did out in Fall City. We lived really close together here in town and we didn't see the point of driving two cars there and then two cars back. So we would carpool. And you talked about his heart for the kids. And on the way back home after, you know, he'd gotten to talk with his kids and then whatever we would just pray the entire way home for those kids.

And I have never heard anybody talk to God, like. And it

and as our fellow Church in recovery members, know I have horrible taste in men and

My dad asked me to. Think about all the men in my life.

In what? Was in them.

I need it in my life.

And I said, I wanted a man. Who wrote three like my dad?

Protected me, like my Uncle Jeff and had the relationship with God that Dawn did.

It is much as it drove me nuts. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get. I'm going to miss hearing. I'm sorry over and over and over again, while I'm at work.

and after Joe died, in June,

I went to the board. I said, what in the hell are you so afraid of? That woman loves you.

And he said I just I don't know. I don't know. I said, oh my God, tell us over and over again, not to be afraid.

And I said, if you love her, you need to let her know. And the happiest day of this entire year with the day, you two sat together at church.

I know God has a plan for all of us and I've been going to a lot of these events celebrations of life and For the past year, here's been real hard on my family and on even my recovery family now. I met Don when I came here, I didn't know anybody I heard about the NA meetings and I took a chance and I came and got out of my comfort zone and became friends with a lot of people that are here today and Don was one of them and he He made me feel welcome. And even though we didn't talk too much. There was a lot of things that weren't said that I know that we communicated. to each other, and

I remember getting together with Jerry and going out to Falls City and him and Debbie would be there. And then the two other there were two. Other couples are there weren't very many people. It was only like maybe six people there at a time, but we kept on going and until we start bowling on Tuesday. So you start going there instead, but I think covid had something to do with us. Not going, but the way he made me feel welcome. And then when I start thinking, you know, him and Debbie are getting kind of clothes, you know, and I was wondering, you know what, you know what's going on there, but I never asked, you know, I just, I just knew it was something beautiful and

I never thought that I never dreamed it would end this this way, but it's a beginning because I know that God has a plan for Don and he's a special person and I didn't realize how special she was, until I hear some of the people here, talkin, but I knew he was special because he made me feel welcome. And to me, that's very important something that I've been dealing with. My whole life is to feel, welcome people that I don't know. But then I looked and I'm getting to know this beautiful thing. So rest in peace, my brother, and he'll always be in our hearts and always being our vision forward. Thank you.

I don't need the mic. I got one up here.

No, I just want to say that Don was bringing my husband sugar. He would bring me boxes of food when I was on my diet and it never failed every week. He was there with that box helping me to make sure that I was eating healthy. And so I'm kind of mad at him cuz he quit doing that, I gained weight back. And anyway, I know Don was probably more of a brother to me and I have four brothers and he was really just the kind of man. I think I've ever met in my life. And I know that he's up there and one of the stories, I remember him telling me is that I knew Don was not afraid to take that walked into the next life. He watched his mother passed away. And he said he has never watched anything more peaceful in his life than when he watched his mother go to be with the Lord. And so he was, he was just ready. I mean that was just him. He knew that when his time, came that he would be at peace with it. And that's probably one of the stories and sticks. In my mind, is just that watching his mom. He said it was just the most peaceful thing. So,

Dawn was a co-worker who grew into a brother, you know.

He also brought Renee and I Pepsi's everyday. We work with him. That was his. Yep. He called it his Penance. So we always had a Pepsi, if he works with us and then we both kind of stopped drinking soda. They started piling up.

I my heart hurts for. My boys, right? The two older ones went through Landing with him all the way through and they graduated with him.

And then my youngest or youngest son, he would take him. Fishing Maddox was so excited to go fishing with him.

And when Jason and I sat down and told Mattox that Dawn was really sick.

Seeing the tears well up in my son's eyes and then him saying who's going to take me fishing to get a big fish now.

like,

My heart just hurts. So for my boys, because Don was a solid foundation in their life for the last couple years. and,

Yeah, he was a solid foundation in the boys, his life. You know, he he was there for those boys.

And then, John was so. Eager and willing to better his life and continue working on himself. This is this is kind of funny that. So in recovery you do. It's men and men and women and women but he was so eager and wanting to work. The steps in Narcotics Anonymous. That he asked me if I would be the sponsor. Just because he was so eager to do work, the steps. He couldn't find a sponsor in town that would work steps with him. That had the love for God that he did. And I had to tell him. Well, you're not talk to my husband, you know, but that didn't happen, obviously, but just his, his his love for God and His willingness to do, whatever it took to continue growing and better, his self. What is something that I am going to continue? Or I'm going to try doing for myself. Nobody in that no customers in the store that left when he was on shift when he was working. Not one customer walked out that door without him saying, God bless you. Have a good day. God bless. You, hun. Have a good day. You know, not one customer left the store without hearing that. So Renee, and I have taken up that, but yeah, that's it.

Was Don's landlady? I got to see some interesting things. He loved his coffee. Anybody know that. Who knows? Who knows he likes coffee. Who knows? He likes his coffee. Really? Really, really dark. Yeah. I drink some of this coffee when dads wired, like this world.

I don't know. I just know that I would like 100 pants on when she's on fire today.

He also liked to play with the dog. Have a little Australian, Shepherd, dog, and he would, if she brings the toy into the into the kitchen, so, Don's over there making coffee. And here's the dog, putting the toy right there by his fee. Will Don doesn't do anything. Just part way. I mean stock is flap the thing around with his foot. He's going to set the thing up. Chris Reyes coming forward and she's getting close and then she's stepping back and then she's coming forward again and Don patiently setting up his toy and by golly, he's going to make it go fly and because he likes to watch the dogs like the watch, the dog fly. So he gets out there to get his coffee. Well, I had him as a renter. I also had another young man in here is renter in, I think he saw us as his family and between mr. Bun and myself in and on WE especially at the start of covid relief had the family thing going and he really loved. They love to tease each other and it's just loved the teasing her. Sometimes I wondered whether it was teething her. She really was going to go bury him in the backyard. But hey,

Every time I come home from a vacation by golly Dawn was still up at above ground out there picking on each other and then smoking it. Be going on in this smoke is going in my room. And why doesn't he sit on the other side of the porch? They went, they were good. Good fun together and it was this is hard empty house hard. I'm going to miss tan. I'm going to steal this for one more second. So I was going to talk to Pastor Dave, after all of this. But I kind of want to give everybody the opportunity here. I would like to give you some money here. I want to set up an account for dawn for all these kids that he cared about so much for the Bible. And I want to make sure that every single person that walks in the door has one and I want everyone to have the opportunity. Don't feel the need to buy myself and then make sure that there's always Bibles on hand, but if you guys can get with Pastor Dave, if you would like to support that.

John didn't tell any hardly anybody that is in the hospital cuz he wanted to remember, he wanted us to remember him. And that wonderful god-given smile that he had on his face every single day in the amazing things that he did. He didn't want us to remember him on his deathbed and I hope this can help his memory live on little longer.

So, Dawn would share with me many times because his mother had Bibles everywhere everywhere. I mean, in, in the house, in the room that just everywhere he is, and he acquired all of those Bibles for Mom and he goes, hey, Vicki, look at this poem, this poem that my mom wrote and so it's, she did, she has, she had a beautiful way with words that and they would just be randomly and random Bibles, but that was so important for Dawn that every kid, every person had a Bible.

As many of, you know. And I were dating for a while. We started off as friends here at Celebrate Recovery. and, I've always had a bad pic or two for men and Hear my recovery site after I got out of prison. I had made a valid. I was going to wait a year before I got into a relationship with that year, turned into two and working on to three years because I've always had a bad picker that I saw something in Dawn that I wanted. And so I flirted with him for several months and he stays the smallest little things. And yes, yes, I will get there.

On Valentine's Day of this year, I turn around and standing over here, smoking a cigarette. And don't ask me to do. Do I get a Valentine's Day? Hi. I'm sure. Walked on over there, grab him up there by the tall neck. Pulling down and gave him a big ol kiss.

Yeah, a few weeks later and stuff that I was wedding dress. I saw downstairs and I'm really good. Has his see how embarrassed I can get them this time. Can you search for a relationship for some reason I knew why relationship was headed. And so I took him downstairs. I said, hey, it's gorgeous to take him in there and pull the dress out and take a look at it, said, hey, and don't you think? I'd look really good.

Yeah, every time it's Japan that We've joked around about everything so that he would just get. So embarrassed, turned, beet red, walk out of the room. So what time does stuffed bun stuff and say something? I'm trying to help you Debbie kid. Do you know? It's like, I can do it. Well enough of my own. in April, we start going fishing quite often and I figured just after I getting that kiss at Valentines Day and he didn't respond and nothing else is going to happen. We were going to go anywhere and maybe my thoughts and always been wrong.

And could we switch fishing and we just finished and talked, right? Well, after about the fourth trip, or so, we turn around, we found this little camp out now and I'm sitting there and we're talking and he's like to kiss you and it's tight. You sure can someone waiting for this fishing trips or make out trips to the Christian house. I'm run, a transitional housing. I'm so we couldn't get together to have dinners. Anytime we had dinners. I make dinner. We have it down to park together or we can he take me out to eat somewhere.

Wig fishing stuff, right around Father's day. They just stocked the fishing place and they're hebo Lake. I bring in and just as it gets up onto the land, it snapped, he runs down around the side. He's chasing that fishing stuff all over and was like a second Clash.

Little fishing stuff that we got up almost all the way to the bank, and into the dark flip down and stuff on the side and he lost his stuff down underneath the dock fishing, chases fish and stuff all the time cuz I would have put them in the wrong spot.

But we did ended up bringing it home and stuff. What was it? H.h. Different fish that they were 17 in + 1 was 20 and we took them over and got some smoke and took pictures of them. I should have had on, hold up his 20 inch fish cuz we got one of them, 20 inch and a half in and but I didn't cuz then I would have an actual picture of him with the favorite thing that we used to do. I would say it was. Just right around the same time when in June into June.

He terrorizes. So are you really wanting something more? Or am I going to lose you or you looking somebody else's Ya Head, man. I've got a mile.

And he's a good because Sunshine says, it's tough man that I'm going to lose you and it's like I'm not going anywhere that point. I knew it's deaf. You know, anybody, who knows, John knows that he's a pretty private guy. He don't share his feelings very often. This is for God and then he was all going to hell for that. But as for his personal feelings, he was kept those pretty much to himself, but I knew at that point stuff, man, that he loves me and He said what we'll talk about that next time we went fishing. That's what we talked about on the way back. I was getting married and In between the time, he got his teeth pulling at the two teeth pulled and he was feeling pretty good stuff there before. The infection came back around. We were out of there to storage unit and you asked me what I wanted for Christmas. And I'm sitting there and I'm looking at him and said just to spend time with you. I said, besides just he said besides an engagement ring. I said, nope. I just want to be able to spend some time with. You can't be in each other's house. But we need to be together somehow we'll make that Arrangement. So I knew what I was getting for Christmas. And then hit him with the other tooth hit and he gotten so sick that he had me drive him to his doctor's appointments. But he be going to get pick up some prescriptions at the last 2 weeks before he actually went to the hospital. He couldn't even go get his own prescriptions TV. So sick. He had he called me up to go get his dance. Tobacco pouches. That's how bad it was. I kept trying to talk him into going to the hospital sooner, but he's like, no, no. No, I got a doctor's appointment for 5 days out or dentist appointment for 5 days. That it's like, you need to get in there. Now. I want to drag him, but I know it wouldn't take him. Yeah, it took you took more than me and stuff to do that.

I even have my director step turn around and said that he would hold on down. If I want to pull the cheese because he was having a problem, get his teeth pulled. I said we might get to that point. But I'm not going to the hospital that day. We were there any emergency room from 4 until 11. He's going to go home. We'll come back tomorrow. I'm going to let him know and I said we've been here this long. We might as well. Wait, come to find out what was taking so long is because there's so many covid patients. They come in and taking up the rooms and they were getting first priority so we can get him out of the emergency department. Let everybody else is sitting here suffering for whatever problem they got. They ended up putting him in the hallway and because he was in the hallway. I couldn't sit with him and talk with them. So I said up there in the emergency room from 11 until like 4:30 in the morning, 4:35 in the morning before they got him into room. And the first thing I saw was these big old vials of liquid that had been building up into his tummy. Which got me causing him all the discomfort. He had the last few weeks. and,

I just, I want to just break down and cry and it's like I've held strong for him. I asked him if he needed anything and he's like, yeah, I think I need my Bible like, okay. Before I leave if you leaving, it's like, yes, I have responsibilities. I have to get back to the transitional housing. He's like, as long as I have my Bible. I will get your Bible before I leave, but I want to see what the doctor's going to say. After 2 hours doctor said, showed up. I'm I've been up all night time sleep. If I was going to get his truck back safely. I needed to leave at 6 12 hours. You know why I slept

And then when I went back up to go see him. Last time I saw him, I'm asking him. Where is your Bible? We made sure you had that viruses. I don't know. They took it away from me. I said I'm going to get to get your Bible and they had a personal stuff and I got it out and laid it right by his bed for him, because that's what he wanted. More than anything else, was his Bible for his comfort, so he can be able to read it. And we talked several times. We always had this thing of good night. Sweet dreams, and God bless every night. We say that to each other on, Texas and

I really miss that. I don't know what to talk to you before I go to sleep.

Last time I text him, his son called me back and said that he had cancer to sell cancer and he did they give me like, 3 months to live and I want to not believe them. Because Tom is too strong up until this last couple weeks and stuff when he was really weak and have that for when he was going into surgery. I talked to him just before that and he said, like, Jay is trying to save my life. I guess. I got to go cuz he's looking forward to living a long life. That's what he kept telling him. I took many emergency rooms. Like I want to live by George. I want to live to help me. I don't know who said that, and I just break down in tears and I have to walk away from him Justified. No, you're not going anywhere. Just put us together and

I'm so happy. Just as I got to have that time to stuff that I did with them. Now. I know I can have a decent relationship.