(062) The Pillars of Community VIII: True Confessions

The Pillars of Community VIII: True Confessions

James 5:16

February 15, 2009

Prep:

·         POC III, scan all POC

·         Leftovers, esp. Short Cath.

·         Bonhoeffer (BRING!)

Intro

·         Summary of series thus far.

This is less popular: confession! Confession is the practice of sharing your sins, weaknesses, and failing to a trusted Christians, as to cease them, grow, and experience forgiveness.

·         This is the opposite side of telling the truth in love – it is telling the truth about yourself.

·         It’s not just about big sins, but about growing in all areas, and can be “preventative.”

In this sermon, we are going to see that confession is not weird or scary, but a vital part of our Christian walk and our community, and it is a gift from God for our benefit.

First we will look at how is a gift to us, and then explore how to make it part of our normal Christian life, including the “who to” and “how to.”

Prayer

It is a privilege to share our sins and weaknesses with other believers so we can be healed. Help us see that, and discover practical ways we can incorporate this stuff into our lives.

Don’t throw the baby out!

Q   What do you think of when you think confession?

·         “Father forgive me for I’ve sinned...” “Three Hail Mary’s...”

Marilyn’s cousins said it was great being Catholic because you could party all weekend and get forgiven on Sunday. Obviously that is a corruption and does not follow even Catholic teaching.

When Martin Luther left the Catholic church, one of the things he strongly opposed the idea confession as a ritual where your sins are removed by a priest if you complied with the penance.

But he didn’t get rid of confession. He knew it to be a Biblical practice, one used throughout the history of the church. He kept confession as a core part of the church, but removed the unbiblical idea of penance – deeds done to bring forgiveness.

The gift of confession

Confession is not a legalism, nor a ritual, but one of God’s primary means of brining that hope – it is a gift.

It wasn’t meant to be a burden but to relieves  burdens, we will discover as we become a community that practices confession.

·         This does not mean we will install a confessional booth.

The gift of confession has several aspects I want to discuss:

1) It takes us from being isolated by sin to united by grace.

2) It brings us healing and help for our sins.

3) It takes us from wallowing in guilt to living freedom.

From isolation to united by grace

Sin, by its very nature of that which hurts us, and our relationship with God and others, isolates us.

·         Some sins initially bring people together, but will eventually isolate and prevent the depth of relationship God desires.

[Read Life Together, p. 110]

Because we are sinners, but wish we weren’t, we will do one of two things: become a pious group who pretends were are fine, or become a community of confession and grace.  

Q   Can you see that confession is vital for true community?

Honest confession of our sin, and being authentic about our own failings encourages others to do the same, and breaks down the wall, allowing us to build a real community.

sin boldly

Martin Luther made an interesting statement: “Sin boldly, but believe more boldly still.”

This does not mean that we should sin more, but rather boldly acknowledge that we do sin and are forgiven by grace.

·         Confession is based on the Gospel: We are all sinners but are forgiven by God because Jesus paid the penalty.

We are not good people. We are sinners, we have failed to love our neighbor as ourselves, we have failed to love God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength.

·         Our pride and selfishness has hurt everyone we love.

Admitting that we are sinners is a bitter pill to swallow, but brings comfort.

·         Some would call it our genes, but then there is no hope.

·         Some would call it sickness, but no cure has been found.

It is sin, and there is forgiveness and restoration. We are a little like AA: Hi my name is Josh, and I am a sinner. But with the admission comes hope – we can be forgiven, not medicated.

Ä  Not only does confession create a community of grace and acceptance, it promotes freedom from sin.

Healing and help

Sin is like a vampire – not only because it lives by draining us, but also hates the light. Sin’s best chance for survival is remaining hidden.

·         I have found that if I want to hide something, there is a pretty good chance I should not.

Just bringing sin into the light removes its greatest power, secrecy. Sin is like a terrorist. It can never hope to counter a nations power head on – it can only be effective when hidden.

Not only so, but by confessing your sins, you open yourself up to many different ways that the community (working through individuals) can bring healing and help:

NIV James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

·         Confession is God’s instrument for bringing healing.

The healing comes through prayer, encouragement, accountability, and help. We will talk a little more about this later.

freedom from Guilt

Finally, confession gives us a chance to be freed from the guilt of our sins. “One of the great longings of our generation is for someone to explain how we can be forgiven of the guilt we feel.”

Guilt is a tricky thing: Not only does it make you feel guilty, but makes you feel the distance that you sin creates between you and God. With the first sin came guilt:

Genesis 3:8-10   8 ¶ Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.  9 But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”  10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

Have you ever known the feeling of being in worship, but knowing that there is something between you and God?

Q   How do we deal with guilt?

Modern thought is to get rid of guilt, but that is both self-deceiving and self-damaging.

·         It is self-deceiving because we know we have done shameful things – we have to work very hard to pretend we are okay.

·         It is self-damaging because guilt was designed to protect us from hurting ourselves, just like our nervous system.

The problem comes after guilt has done its job. The Enemy would love to use it continue to hurt us and drive us away from God, rather than to him.

In confession, we can be freed from guilt. It is not that the confession itself frees us, but we frequently need the other person to speak the truth that we are forgiven when we can’t forgive ourselves.

·         In confession we find peace and a personal expression (through another) of God’s acceptance and the community’s acceptance.

This psalm written by David, captures the oppression of guilt, and the power of confession, a thing he understood: 

NIV Psalm 32:1-7

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

2 Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.

3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD” – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.

7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Ä  You may have noticed that David’s confession was to God, and find that far preferable to confession to a human. That leads us to the next topic: Why we avoid confession.

To god or man?

Q   Why would we prefer to confess to God than to a brother or sister in Christ?

We avoid confessing to another because of fear and pride:

·         Pride: Confession is a death blow to pride.

·         Fear: We are afraid of being judged by the community or fear of being made to genuinely repent and change.

But God is absolutely holy, so far above us in righteousness that if we find it easier to confess to him than to our brother or sister who is a sinner like us, I have to wonder if we are actually confessing to ourselves.

Q   How often are we just confessing to ourselves and letting ourselves of the hook?

But when we confess to each other, we know that we are truly confessing to God through the other person. We break the self-deception and also bring true assurance of forgiveness.

Ä  We are also afraid of loss of confidence and poorly handled confessions, which leads us to the next section: Specifics.

Choose wisely

Q   Who should you confess to?

Someone you trust. Trust means 1) trust that they can help you grow, and 2) trust them to keep confidence.

Q   Remember the four spheres of community: Public, Social, Personal, and Intimate?

In general, the more personal the sin, the more personal the friend should be. Some can happen in a community group, but deeper confession requires someone you trust to keep a secret. Next month: Gossip.

·         There are exceptions: When an entire community’s been hurt.

BTW: An apology is different than confession in that it is made to the person injured.

Q   Should your spouse be the person you confess to?

Not always. Sometimes they are too close to the situation, sometimes the confession will hurt them, and sometimes “anything you say will be used against you.”

If you can, speak to your spouse, but also have same gender friends. This can be an area where we ask our spouse to be something they are not meant to be.

·         Same gender is non-negotiable, unless it is a group.

The setting

Q   Where and when should a confession take place?

Where ever it is most comfortable. There is no set place or time, but if it is to be a normal part of your Christian life, it must be comfortable: When hanging out with close friends, by e-mail, in a close community group.

·         It must not become a ritual, but stay a genuine act.

The process

1.  Acknowledge the sin: As specifically as possible (without “TMI”) explain how you disobeyed God in word, thought, action, or attitude. This is as the Spirit convicts.

2.  Take personal responsibility: Even if blame can be shared, only own up to your part.  

3.  Genuinely repent: A genuine remorse for the hurt you’ve caused God (1st) and others (2nd). The other person should be alert to false remorse (“Just sorry you got caught?”).

4.  Receive forgiveness: Allow the other person to express grace and acceptance and remind you of God’s forgiveness.

5.  Turn from the sin: Work with the other on how to make a permanent change.

Q & A

Closing

Q   Do you have relationships were you can do this?

Q   How can you create them?

Q   If you have are already doing this, do you need to be more complete?