Nobody's Perfect Part 3

Accepted: Learning to identify lies and replace them with truth.

Family Lunch Today

Careportal Update:

I am working with two girls, 3 and 4 years old, who have just lost their mother to a drug overdose. They are now in foster care and are currently placed with their aunt, who they have stayed with many times over the years. In the past, they would sleep on the couch or on an air mattress. We are requesting toddler beds for them, so that they have their own space to sleep.

We purchased:

2 - Mattresses, Pillows, Sheets

2 Toddler beds provided by, Wyatt Park Christian Church - St. Joseph MO.

Part 3 today - Final Part 4 next Sunday.

Perfectionists continually strive for acceptance because the acceptance they received in the past was based on how well they performed. If parents or other significant people in your life gave you approval only for achievement, the message you received was a setup for perfectionism.

Luke 11:52 “Woe to you lawyers! For you have taken away the key of knowledge. You did not enter yourselves, and you hindered those who were entering.””

Much of our need to be accepted comes from our family of origin.

• Perfectionistic Parents Message: “I must be the best.”

• Workaholic Parents Message: “Work is the most important thing.”

• Alcoholic Parents Message: “Someone in the family has to take charge.”

• Abusive Parents Message: “Success will be my great escape.”

The word used today to describe alcoholic or abusive family situations is dysfunctional.

Dysfunctional families do not foster a healthy, nurturing or warm environment.

As a result, children often feel forced to take on a parental role to keep the family going. (Spousal Relationship with parent - unable to be a child)

For others, achievement in areas outside the home becomes a way to escape the harsh reality of abuse and neglect.

Still , many people find themselves in other versions of family dysfunction.

Rejecting Parents Message: “I just have to try harder.”

Children raised by rejecting parents yearn for love, acceptance and praise. Children who experience rejection don’t feel loved just because of who they are. They believe that performing well will help gain their parents’ approval.

Comparing Parents Message: “I have to be better than my brother.”

Each child has his or her own gifts and abilities. One of the tragic things we see here is comparison: “Why can’t you be more like your sister, Susie?” “Why can’t you try hard like your brother, James? Follow his example.” Unfortunately, in this situational setup, bitterness often results between the siblings.

Firstborn Child Message: “I have to be the responsible one.”

Parents have high expectations of their first child (to be extensions of themselves).

Only Child Message: “All of their hopes are wrapped up in me.”

Only Male Child Message: “The family name is riding on me.”

Social Pressure Message: (Parents are more concerned about outward appearances): “I need to be at the top!”

What this amounts to is viewing life through a humanistic perspective. We often impose upon ourselves or upon others expectations that do not originate with God, but with our fallen selves.

If we believe that we must earn God’s blessings and favor, then it is a natural extension that we would live in performance based relationships with people.

Colossians 2:8 “See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.”

Root Cause

The root of perfectionism is pride. Perfectionists act as though they are “equal with God” by thinking they are capable of meeting their own needs. In their own strength they attempt to accomplish what only Christ can do in them and through them.

2 Corinthians 3:4-5 “Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God,”

Steps to Solution:

Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

Scripture memorization is a vital tool to combat Spiritual problems.

Paul writes:

Ephesians 6:17 “and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,”

Why?

Ephesians 6:11-12 “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

Identify the lie and replace it with the truth!

Lie: I am self sufficient, I must look inward for strength and the answers to my problems.

Truth: John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

If you have your Bible with you today, or on your phone… find Philippians Chapter 3. Let’s spend a few moments making some observations together.

Paul the Perfectionist

Pre-conversion Paul

Before accepting Christ and while living in his own strength.

Placed confidence in his own abilities Philippians 3:4 “though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more:”

Procliamed his elite status and heritage & Practiced Legalism Philippians 3:5 “circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee;”

Pursued his goals with zeal Philippians 3:6 “as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless.”

Persecuted those he considered inferior.

Presumed himself righteous through personal achievement.

Post-conversion Paul

After dying to self and living in Christ’s strength.

Put no confidence in himself, but gloried in Christ Jesus Philippians 3:3 “For we are the circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—”

Perceived personal gain to be loss Philippians 3:7 “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.”

Perceived all things rubbish next to Christ & Placed Knowing Christ as his highest goal Philippians 3:8 “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ”

Professed no personal righteousness from performance Philippians 3:9 “and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—”

Pursued righteousness from God through faith in Christ (v.9)

Purposed to experience Christ, His resurrection power, sufferings and death Philippians 3:10-11 “that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”

Proclaimed no perfection in himself Philippians 3:12 “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”

Pressed on to maturity in Christ Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

God’s Messages of Grace

The messages you’ve received from significant people in your past may have given you a false concept of God, yourself and others … making you feel acceptable only if you perform perfectly. But your loving heavenly Father is a God of grace and doesn’t expect perfection from you in order to gain His acceptance. Replace those perfectionistic thinking patterns with the liberating power of God’s truth.

John 8:32 “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.””

What does that look like?

“I don’t always have to measure up—no one is perfect.” Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

“I never have to fear losing God’s love because of anything I might or might no do.” Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

“I have a clear conscience and am free from guilt over past failures.” Isaiah 43:18-19 ““Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

“I can live without fear of being condemned, even when I fail to meet the expectations of others.” 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

“I can stop comparing myself to others because God designed me to be unique… a one-of-a-kind person.” Psalm 139:14 “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

“I can confidently take on new challenges. I am not limited to doing only those things at which I excel.” Proverbs 3:26 “for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.”

“I don’t have to worry about finding the perfect job or selecting the ideal situation because I can trust God to prepare the way for my future” Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

“I am free to enjoy life. God doesn’t want me in bondage to a set of rules and regulations.” John 8:36 “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

“My salvation is a free gift! It’s not based on what I deserve or earn.” Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

I am not held accountable for becoming Christlike in my own power. God assumes responsibility for bringing me to maturity.” Philippians 1:6 “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”