1 Corinthians 13 What Women (And Men) Really Want Fireproof Your Marriage
What women (and men) want
They want to be loved 1 Cor 13:1-8
Fresh vision – expect something significant to happen – work for something diligent to happen
Don’t go back to normal - we have too much normal.
With knowledge comes accountability – but must be intentional
I. Poor substitutes abound
Regardless of the effort, emptiness is created when love is absent
Look for all the wrong things when looking at the opposite sex
A. Football player beware: Talent won’t do it
1 Cor 12.31b And now I will show you the most excellent way.
Football player
1. Talents looks good
2. Show off – make yourself really look good
3. But empty
a) For others
b) For me
B. Smooth talker beware: Fancy communication won’t do
1 Cor 13.1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal..
1. Speak the words of God (in another language)
a) A good thing
b) Self authenticating
c) Flashy and obvious
2. Just noise without love
C. Geek beware: Vast knowledge won’t do
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, … but have not love, I am nothing.
1. Understand and communicate truth
2. Amounts to nothing without love
D. Nice guys beware: Apparent spirituality won’t do
2…and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
1. Trust in God
2. Amounts to nothing without love
E. Sugar daddy beware: Giving stuff won’t do it
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
1. Gain nothing without love
F. Hot lady beware: Eros won’t do it
1. Physical responsiveness
2. Emotional
3. Erotic love – Greek/not Bible word
a) Distortion of God’s intention for sex
(1) A means to bring a couple into deeper oneness
(2) Union and unity
(3) Involves commitment to one another
(4) Bounded by Agapa love
b) Replacement of oneness with moments of exhilaration
c) My desires are what matters – selfishness – personal fulfillment
d) Making the other person an object rather than a partner
G. Dear friend: Philos won’t even do it
1. Brotherly concern
2. Genuine caring
3. Closer
II. The Ultimate Biblical love
A. Agapa – the real thing – Sacrificial and unconditional
1. Caring in action
2. Sacrificial response
3. The other person becomes predominate
4. Unconditional response
Love is not a mere emotion. Love is active.
B. Love is a choice to yield and to self sacrifice (to God to others)
Produced by the Spirit
Resulting in inner transformation
Evidenced in action.
C. A spectrum of active attributes
1. The form of each word in Greek is a verb - active
2. A characteristic that manifests itself in life
3. Not do I have an inward feeling that causes me to feel good and seek self gratification
4. But do I have a certain outward feeling that causes me to act on behave of someone else
5. What does love look like?
III. Love displays graciousness
A. Waits patiently (suffers long)
4 Love is patient,
1. Long-tempered – almost exclusively with people
2. Has the power to retaliate but doesn’t
3. Puts up with difficult people
4. Contrast with Greeks – virtue to not let anything get by – take vengeance
5. 2 Pet 3.9 – God patient – not wishing any to perish
B. Shows kindness
4…love is kind.
1. Verb rare – Paul coined the term – action
2. Thoughtful, helpful, pleasant, comforting, goodwill in action
3. The kindness of God leads to repentance (rom 2:4)
IV. Love is not about me but you
A. Does not burn with envy
4…It does not envy,
1. Burning, boiling emotionally
2. Strong desire
3. Desire what another has
4. Drives to greater sin, lack of contentment
B. Does not brag (parade itself)
4…it does not boast,
1. Desire for others to want what you have
2. Have nothing to brag about – all from God
C. Does not inflate its own importance (puffed up)
4…it is not proud.
1. Puffed up , fill with air
2. Attention seeking, impress others
D. Does not behave with ill-mannered impropriety
5 It is not rude,
1. Thoughtless pursuit of one’s own wishes regardless of conventions of what is viewed as appropriate
2. Unconcerned about feelings of others
3. No displays of grace and consideration
4. Courtesy, good taste, good manners
E. Not preoccupied with self
5…it is not self-seeking,
1. Self centered
2. Not focused only on how it impacts me
3. Eros – seeks to possess the object of love for my own – gratify self
4. Surrender rights – actively benefit others
V. Love responds unconditionally
A. Cannot be provoked into a sharp response
5…it is not easily angered,
1. Being punctured by a sharp object - A sudden outburst of emotion
2. Like an atomic bomb – it destroys and keeps destroying
3. Doesn’t get exasperated - Isn’t wounded to a point of reaction
B. Does not hold grudges
5… it keeps no record of wrongs.
1. Accounting term – record to an account
2. Keep a permanent record of a wrong committed
3. Brood over injury - Bitterness never has a chance to sprout
4. Like God blotting out our sin (does not count our sin against us)
C. Does not take pleasure at another’s failure
6 Love does not delight in evil
1. Take joy when someone falls
2. Gossip
D. Rejoices when others do what’s right
6…but rejoices with the truth.
1. Joyful celebration – genuine – of integrity
2. When the truth wins out
VI. Love anticipates the best
A. Never tires of support (bears all things)
7 It always protects,
1. Roof imagery - covering
2. Carries the burden of others, feels the pain
3. Acts to alleviate it
B. Never loses faith
7…always trusts,
1. Is not suspicious or cynical
2. Desires to expect the best
C. Never exhausts hope
7… always hopes,
1. Expects positive things from people
2. Even when faith is broken – looks for a glimmer of hope
3. Expects God to work
D. Never gives up
7…always perseveres.
1. Endures set backs from people
2. Military term – hold a position at all costs
3. Even when all hope seems lost – it refuses to give up
VII. Love endures
8 Love never fails.