How to Church Part 2

Introduction:

There’s an old phrase that goes, “You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your family.”

Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird: You can choose your friends, but you sho’ can’t choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ‘em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.

You don’t get to choose your family do you? You really don’t get to choose your church family either. When you’re saved, you’re placed into the body of Christ that’s realized in the local church.

And God’s placed you into this family to love Him with all your heart, soul, and mind, and secondly to love one another.

Body:

Matthew 22:37-39

Jesus answers the question with the greatest commandment and then provides the second greatest as well

Leviticus 19:18

1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 John provides a test for how we can know that we are truly in Christ, that we really know Him as Lord and Savior.

Here is one of these tests that strongly echoes what Jesus has just said back in Matthew 22.

“Let us love one another”

The one another here is primarily about our fellow Christians.

So let’s start right here, in this room, at these tables, in your small groups.

Can you say that you love these people as you love yourself?

How do you love yourself?

You meet your needs

Health

Physical

Emotional

You go above and beyond to meet your needs

Sacrifice Time

Sacrifice Money

You treat yoself

If we’re going to love one another as ourselves, then these are ways we should be loving others as well.

John goes on, “love is from God and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”

Y’all your love for others is a sign that you are a Christian.

John 13:34-35

If someone were to look at your life for evidence of your love for your brothers and sisters in this church would they be able to conclude from what they find that you are a disciple of Jesus? As we’re continuing this miniseries on what it means to be a part of Christ’s Church we saw last week that it starts with loving God with everything, and now we’re seeing this week that loving God that way will inevitably result in our loving other people as well.

P1: See that Loving Others is Non-Negotiable (v. 7)

1 John 4:16b God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

Illustrate: My pinky fingers on both hands bend inward at the last knuckle. I don’t know why, but they do. They curve inwards. And it’s the same with my dad, and with all 5 of my kids. It’s a genetic mutation, a familial marker.

That’s what love for one another should be for Christ’s Church.

The way that you love the fellow members of your small group, the way that you love your small group leader says volumes about your love for God!

Praying for the requests that are shared in the group is the bottom rung of the love ladder

Texting them to follow up or ask for more specific requests and then praying might be the next step

Praying with them in person

Bringing a hurting friend a card and their favorite candy bar

Taking someone out for coffee to hear their testimony and spending the time asking questions about them

Buying a meal for a friend who you know might be struggling financially

Showing up to support a friend at their concert or play

Visiting a sick friend with some soup

Confronting a friend in sin

1 John 3:18

Ask yourself how you would want to be loved, and love others that way.

These aren’t things that super-Christians do, these are things that all Christians should be doing.

1 John 4:21 And this is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

We can’t tap out of this one when the Bible makes it so abundantly clear that a true Christian is a loving Christian.

END P1

To be a part of Christ’s Church starts with an all-in love for God that inevitably produces an intentional love for others.

The implication should be clear then that a lack of this intentional love should be cause for concern.

1 John 4:8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.

1 John 4:16 (God is love)

1 John 4:20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

This is really just the opposite side of our first point, looking at things from the negative point of view.

P2: Understand the Danger of Lovelessness (v. 8)

Let’s consider for a moment the nature of God’s love.

What does it mean that God is love?

How do we define God’s love?

In context, it’s His willingness to sacrifice His Son for the payment necessary for the forgiveness of our sins.

1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 5:8 But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

It’s not disinterested lip-service.

It’s not easy.

It’s not free.

It’s not contingent.

We must be careful that we don’t presume to be worthy of such love from God without being willing to extend that love to others ourselves.

Yeah, I know that you died for them too, BUT they’re just a difficult person for me to love.

Yeah, I know you loved them in spite of their sin against you, BUT you don’t know what they did to me.

Yeah, I know how much it cost you to love them, BUT it’s too much for me to sacrifice to love them right now.

These are dangerous statements that we must make sure we aren’t functionally embracing through a lovelessness in our lives.

Matthew 18:23-35

Love litmus test:

Prayer life

Finances

Time

Let’s think of how we might be able to infuse a little more love into those areas of our lives during this Christmas season.

END P2

1 John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Hopefully at this point this is only logical.

This is the motivation and the drive to sacrifice and to push through the difficult relationships with people.

The more we understand how much God loved us and how much it cost Him to love us, the more we will be driven to love others.

1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us.

John 13:34-35

We can’t love Jesus and not love those He’s died for, and the way we love them should be the way He loved us.

P3: Love Others from God’s Love for You (vv. 9-11)

Carson: Wholehearted love for God means coming in some measure to see other people as God sees them, and all people as the objects of God’s love.

Luke 7:40-42

Illustrate:I’m going to guess that if someone gave you $20 million you would be a more generous person than you currently are

A friend asks for $20? Sure, what’s that compared to 20 million!

A friend needs a new car? Sure, here’s 20K to get yourself something reliable

A friend needs to pay off student loans? Why not, here’s 100K to get yourself out of debt

A friend’s family is about to be evicted from their home? Let me help, here’s 700K to pay off your mortgage

A friend’s mom was in a car accident and racked up massive medical bills without insurance? Send me the bills, I can cover the 500K

All of that...

Not even 1.5 million.

You’re still sitting on 18.5 million

Y’all, you’re sitting on an infinite amount of Christ’s love for you. What are you doing with it?

The big ticket items like the mortgage or medical bills are rare.

Supporting a brother or sister who has just lost a loved one

Giving someone a room to stay in until they get back on their feet

Paying for financial needs

Taking a child in after parents die suddenly

Giving shelter to a sister who is in an abusive relationship

Far more often we’re being asked to love with the $20 here and there.

A ride to church

A tank of gas

A listening ear

A shoulder to cry on

What keeps you going, keeps you loving like this is this ever present awareness of how God has loved you.

If you’re in Christ, you’re not even being asked to love with your own strength!

You’re loving others out of the overflow and abundance of the love you have received from God

Revelation 1:5-6

2 Corinthians 5:14-15

Colossians 2:1-3

We should aim to be like Timothy and like Epaphras

Philippians 2:19-21

Colossians 4:12-13

But that’s really the key here isn’t it, the understanding that you have experienced this love of God in order to be able to love others this way.

You know what the hardest thing about crossfit is for people? To figure out new ways to casually drop into conversation that they do crossfit.

The hardest thing for those who have experienced Christ’s love should be figuring out how to outdo themselves in the love they show for their brothers and sisters in Christ.

Conclusion:

A healthy family is one that loves one another well.

Mom and Dad love each other

They love each of their children

Brothers and sisters love each other

There’s a genuine care and concern for the well-being of each member of the family by each member of the family.

God employed the family metaphor to describe the church for this very reason.

1 Timothy 3:15

1 Peter 4:17

Application Questions:

Read John 13:34-35. What had Jesus just done for the disciples? What was he about to do? Why would Jesus make our love for one another the defining mark of Christians?

What are some excuses that we give for why we don’t love others this way? Are there any exceptions to our duty as Christians to love one another?

How should we love difficult people in the church?

Read 1 John 3:18. What are some ways that you can put this into practice with your small group this Christmas season?