Living as Family in Today's World

What We Celebrate Today

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. We have a touching story in the Gospel, one that reminds us that families are imperfect. Even the Holy Family. As was the custom, the family traveled from Nazareth to Jerusalem, about a three-day walk. And, as was the custom, they walked together with their neighbors: the ladies walked together, the men walked together. Younger boys would walk with their mothers, older boys would walk with the men.

Luke tells us that Jesus is 12, which is an important point. It’s just about the age when a boy would stop walking with his mother and start walking with the men. So, Mary thinks Jesus is back with the men; Joseph thinks Jesus is up with the women. They finish the first day’s walk and set up camp and discover there’s no Jesus. I suspect the ensuing conversation sounded much like one that happens in many of our homes today. “Hey, it’s not my fault. I thought you had him!” Here the Holy Family proves out a great quote from David Ogden Stiers: “Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Why Family Matters

Pope John XXIII called the family the basic unit of society. It is, after all, where we learn to get along with other people. It’s where we learn what it means to be loved and to love; to forgive and be forgiven. It is in our families that we learn that we’re part of something bigger. We’re not on our own. The family is not just nice to have; it is essential to God’s plan.

The catechism tells us: “It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society” (CCC 2207).

Family is our chance to grow in holiness. But we have to learn to look at the family differently. If family is something we tolerate, if family is something we “deal with,” then being in a family won’t help us grow.

Instead, we should see family as our opportunity to live as God lives - to live in relationship for the mutual good of the other. We should see family as our opportunity to live in love. This is a no simple thing. It’s actually work. We have to learn to live differently.

Living Differently in Love

If we want to live in family as God planned for it to be, we have to see not just ourselves, but also our relationship. This is the heart of the Christian Household Code that Paul announces to the Colossians. These Household codes were not new to the early church. They trace their roots back to Aristotle and others.

Paul continues this great tradition. Notice that every element of the household code is expressed as a pair of people. In other words, a family is comprised of relationships. I am a father, and a spouse, and a son. I am a nephew. I don’t exist by myself; I am defined by my relationship with others. And my relationship, if it’s ordered properly, is ordered toward Christ in love. Husbands and wives share a relationship that places demands on both of them, not just one. Wives are to be subordinate to their husbands; husbands are to die to themselves to help their wives in holiness. Children are to obey their parents, who should seek only their good and not lord their authority over them. Above all, it demands that each member of the family put the needs of the other first to live in love.

A Bigger Family

Our family is bigger than we think. We are called to live in relationship with more than the people we share a house with. We are a part of the family of God. Everyone under the roof with us today we should love as a family member. Everyone we meet we should love as a family member. The poor and downtrodden, the well off and the rich. The enemy, the friend. The republican, the democrat. The baptist, the Catholic. The believer, the unbeliever. All should receive the love we share with a family member. We should seek the best for them, even at our own expense. This is how we will be judged.

In closing, this morning we lost a truly great man - Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa. He told us often that¨You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.¨ How different would the world be if we recognized each person we met as God’s gift to us? How different would the world be if we behaved as God’s gift to others?