How not to Treat People

Our problem in life are almost always people problems.

Do you agree? Sure. If we could live without other people, we could live without problems.

To live above with people we love, that will be glory.

To live below with people we know, that’s another story.

Life would be great if we just did not have to deal with people. Right.

But we do have to deal with people.

You have to deal with people in your family,

in your community,

and yes even in your church.

And not all the people you deal with are going to agree with you,

respect you,

or even like you.

We are in the same boat.

And sometimes it feels like that boat is sinking.

We all want to know how to deal with people.

So, since dealing with people is unavoidable,

unless you go out an live in the woods by yourself,

would be nice to have a few guidelines for how to deal with people?

James is writing to Christians spread out all over the world.

He knows that many of them are poor,

but they have to rub shoulders with other people every day.

So,

as their pastor,

he writes and gives them three Decisions to help them in dealing with people.

Three decisions you and I can make.

Don't be a Snob

James 2:1 (NIV84)

1 My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism.

He's talking about prejudice, partiality, favoritism. The New English Bible calls it "snobbery". Don't be a snob. A snob is somebody whose nose turns up when their eyes look down, somebody who always thinks they're better than everybody else.

The Greek word for favoritism is a compound word that means "to receive" and "to face". It literally means "to receive somebody's face" -- to receive somebody at face value, on the basis of how they look, superficial judgement. James says, “Don't do that. Don't accept people just on superficial judgements.”

This morning, in order to deal with favoritism, we need to look at some common areas of discrimination.

Ancestry or judging people because of their race.

Diana Saltz

-- We judge people according to their race, their nationality, their ethnic background. I heard about a black man who went to a church in the south and was trying to get in. It was full of bigots and they wouldn't let him in. He went to the pastor and told him. The pastor said, "You just need to pray about it." About three weeks later the pastor saw him and asked, "Did you talk to the Lord about it?" The man said, "Yes, and God said, `Don't worry, I've been trying to get in that church 20 years and I still can't get in.'

Achievement -- Our society gushes over winners and forgets the losers. One minute you're a hero and the next minute you're a zero. Success and status are keywords

Appearance -- We discriminate often because of appearance. Beauty is everything in our world. If you're a cute kid you've got it made. If you're plain, tough luck! We have beauty contest for children, really, what are we teaching them?

Affluence -- the most common distinction. We judge people by their wealth -- whether they're rich or poor -- their economic status. What attitude do you have toward people who make more money than you do? What attitude do you have toward people who make less money than you do?

James 2:2–3 (NIV84)

2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.

3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,”

Favoritism is unchristian. If you want to be like Jesus you can't play favorites. "My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism." Faith and favoritism are incompatible -- we're a family. This word "favoritism" is used only four times in the Bible. Every other time it's referring to God and it says, “God does not play favorites.” Romans 2:11 "God does not show favoritism"

Jesus treated everybody with dignity. Peter had to learn this lesson before he went to Cornelius. God loves everybody. If there is one place in the world where there shouldn't be any kind of discrimination it ought to be the church. There is discrimination everywhere else in the world. But there ought to be one place no matter who you are or what your background is that you're welcome.

THERE ARE TWO great commandments upon which, we are told by Jesus, "hang all the law and the prophets": "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Matthew 22:37–40).

Favoritism is marked by a lack of real love. The world that James lived in was filled with all kinds of prejudice. There was deep hatred between Jews and Samaritans. The Jews saw themselves as pure descendants of Abraham, while the Samaritans were a mixed race produced when Jews from the northern kingdom intermarried with other peoples after Israel’s exile.

Favoritism is marked by self-centered pride. Some people hate a group of people because of a difference in belief or culture. Prejudice grows out of personal pride—considering oneself better than others. God will harshly judge those who are prejudiced or whose pride causes them to look down on others.

Favoritism also robs your of relationships. When you decide someone is of no value just because of who their are, or their skin color, or anything else, you are the loser.

If everyone with blue on would stand. If I said, I will not talk to, or relate with people who wear blue, look at all the people I would rob myself of. I would not have their company, their insights, their friendships.

You rob yourself in the same way when you are prejudice against someone because of their age, race or even if they are gay or straight.

Job 34:19 (TNIV)

19 who shows no partiality to princes and does not favor the rich over the poor, for they are all the work of his hands?

Even Jesus enemies knew he did not show favoritism.

Matthew 22:16 (NET)

16 They sent to him their disciples along with the Herodians, saying, “Teacher, we know that you are truthful, and teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You do not court anyone’s favor because you show no partiality.

A small group of Christians wanted to do something about the needs in our city. They phoned the director of a Boston homeless shelter, and he invited our group to prepare and serve lunch (dozens of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches), talk with the residents one on one, and help with cleanup.

After they returned they discussed the project. They agreed get out with the homeless help them face numerous prejudices and fears regarding the poor. This experience brought increased unity in their small group and opened their eyes to the needs around us.

People treated special will become special

Transition: James first decision to make when dealing with people is don’t be a snob. But it does not stop there, he goes on to say....

Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

James 2:4 (NIV84)

4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

James tells us not to become judges. Jesus also said the same thing

Matthew 7:1–2 (NIV)

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

I have notices a few things about people who are judgmental.

First, a judgmental person is walking in the flesh, not the Spirit. Rather than drawing upon the Lord for strength and perspective, the critical person relies upon his or her own resources. Cynicism quenches the Spirit, directing us to walk by sight, not faith. As Spirit-filled Christians we will always, fundamentally, be people of hope because of the great God we serve. A fleshly person, however, lives in despair.

Second, when you meet people who are constantly judgmental, you can be pretty sure that they feel rotten about themselves. They see themselves as unattractive, failing, or in some manner unworthy. Pointing out others’ weaknesses keeps them from seeing and feeling their own pain.

Third, a judgmental person has experienced little grace. It is far easier to see others’ sins than our own. Judgmental people rarely get in touch with their own ugly failures or with God’s incredible gift of forgiveness. We are all Pharisees at heart. When was the last time you were broken to the point of weeping over your own sins? How aware are we every second of the day that we ourselves are capable of the very same sins we criticize in others?

Proverbs 16:2 (NCV)

2 You may believe you are doing right, but the LORD will judge your reasons.

Our perception of others often tells us a lot about ourself. Jesus tells us to examine our own motives and conduct instead of judging others. The traits that bother us in others are often the habits we dislike in ourself. Our untamed bad habits and behavior patterns are the very ones that we most want to change in others. Do you find it easy to magnify others’ faults while excusing your own? If you are ready to criticize someone, check to see if you deserve the same criticism. Judge yourself first, and then lovingly forgive and help your neighbor.

People treated special will become special

Transition: James tells us the first decision to make when dealing with people is don’t be a snob. The second decision is like it, Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. But just incase we still did not get it, he tells about the third decision we need to make.

Don't Stop Loving

James 2:8 (NIV84)

8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right.

You see it is love that sets the church apart. John put it this way...

1 John 4:7–12 (NIV)

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

And Paul said...

Galatians 5:14 "All the law is summed up in one sentence, `Love your neighbor as yourself'." If I play favorites I'm being unloving.

Why do we love others. Because God loves us. We can not earn, God’s love. We can not deserve God’s love. But we can return God’s love. We can share God’s love. God loves us so we should love others.

Francis Schaeffer wrote in his book “Mark of the Christian”, "Because a man is a man, he is to be loved at all cost."

People treated special will become special

Conclusion

Enjoy the love feast!" exhorted the pastor of this large congregation. "Men with men, ladies with ladies; hug someone near you and express your love and appreciation toward one another." As a new believer Ann wondered, What is a love feast? Before her imagination could drift, a woman in the next pew turned, embraced me emphatically, and said with great warmth, "I love you, Sister, just as you are, created by God."

Everything about this stranger made her believe it. But how could she love me? She didn’t even know me. Merely because I exist, she loves me, she thought.

A few years have passed, and she moved to another state, traveled, visited many churches, and discussed Christianity with unbelievers. The spirit of unconditional love and acceptance that drew her into the Body and helped me to mature in her faith is not typical of most churches.

Why was Ann so impressed, because someone decided to

not be a snob, to not judge a book by it's cover, and to not stop loving.

People treated special will become special

Who will you treat special this week?

Let us pray

Dear Jesus,

Know that you did not show favoritism. Even you enemies said that about you. Help us as we work on being more loving. Help us to not be snobbish, or judgmential. Help us to treat every with the same respect and acceptance we would like to be treated with. Remind us this week that every person we meet is made in your image. Amen.