Date:      18th November 2007                                                              (Sunday AM)                                                                       Ref: A0345

Place:     Kambah P.S.

Title: Teamwork in the Marriage Cockpit

Text:        & Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Illust:     Flying a bit in the last 2 weeks – 7 flights totalling over 32 hours in total. – Every plane, every airline, even with all the computerised flying aids had a pilot (captain) & a co-pilot. – 2 in the cockpit responsible for the piloting of the plane to get us all safely to our destination. – Steve Farrar draws the comparison that being married is kind of like the partnership that must exist in the cockpit of the plane.

I.                   Partners in the Cockpit

A.               Two better than one

i.                 The story is told of the old man who gave his sons a bundle of twigs & asked them to break them. – They couldn’t, but each twig was easily snapped on it’s own. -  It is a law of life articulated in our text ~  that two are better than one – There is an exponential increase in capability where you have more than 1 person or item involved.

ii.               This is true in the cockpit of an aeroplane, an operating theatre, police car, & a marriage. ~ There is a better return from your efforts, help in time of difficulty, comfort in time of need & protection in time of danger.

      We see that Jesus sent the disciples out to minister in pairs:

         Mark 6:7 And He called the twelve to Himself, and began to send them out two by two, and gave them power over unclean spirits. (NKJV)

iii.             Major benefits when you are in partnership with someone. - Marriage – This is God’s idea.

         Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (NKJV)

B.               Complimentary Skills

i.                 We have all heard the statement that opposites attract, there is a truth to this, a message that is conveyed. – We all have strengths & weaknesses. When you have two people working together then the strengths in one can support the weaknesses of the other.

ii.               Especially true considering the differences in the sexes – Despite what the feminists & metrosexuals might proclaim, men & women are different – book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” – Common theme in nearly every marriage book ~  Real differences.

iii.             In a marriage you both bring something to the relationship that adds to the strength of the family unit. – Just like in the cockpit of the plane. Both pilot & co-pilot together can safely pilot the plane as they check on what one another does.

II.                 Roles & Responsibility

A.               Right Roles

i.                 A number of years ago a manager of a section left the company - the boss determined that the 3 members of the team would work together and that there would be no manager, they would be equals to achieve the objectives of the section – Sounds good – Wasn’t effective – No one person accountable, no one person as the final decision maker. – We don’t like it but that’s just tough – There needs to be hierarchy – A captain in the cockpit

         Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (NKJV)

ii.               God has made it clear that the husband is to be the captain of the marriage, the head of the home, the one held accountable for the decisions & outcomes.

iii.             Marriages work when the God ordained order is established & submitted to. This provides the most stable environment for the raising of a family

B.               Responsibility

i.                 In any partnership that is effective it is because the roles & responsibilities of the parties & are understood and conformed to. – Important word – responsibilities. We often overlook the fact that with position comes responsibility / accountability.

ii.               Terrifying thought, if you are not terrified by this men, then you haven’t given it a lot of thought. – As the head of the home, you are responsible; to be responsible means that there is an accountability. We will be held to account for our headship by the one with the eyes like a flame of fire and the mouth with the sharp two edged sword.

iii.             Two scary words in the bible “just as” – Don’t sound scary, listen to them in context.

         Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. (NKJV)

iv.             In marriage there are roles and shared responsibilities, there is also the responsibility of headship. – A sobering thought for all husbands and fathers.

III.              Passengers

A.               Others

i.                 Frank Boreham observed ~

      "Life is largely a matter of luggage," "So soon as a child can toddle he displays an insatiable passion for carrying things.", "We bear each other's burdens, we carry each other's luggage. It is the law of Christ, the law of the cross, a sacrificial law. The difference between savagery and civilization is simply this, that we have learned...to bear each other's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ."

ii.               Profound truth here that you life has an impact on more than just the two of you within a marriage. – There are your parents, brothers & sisters, work colleagues, friends, parent groups (mothers / school committees etc) – Church / Shops / Medical -  People looking at you referencing off you.

iii.             A lot of people that you come in contact with that you have the potential to influence for good / evil – people that may bear burdens for. – A lot of passengers you carry along behind you in this plane. – Important you keep it together.

B.               Children

i.                 Also some VIP passengers in 1st class. – At least they should be, these passengers have been entrusted specifically to your care. It is your responsibility to ensure they reach their destination safely – Your children.

         Psalm 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. (NKJV)

ii.               Critically important that you treat this responsibility with the seriousness it deserves. – As I have followed the Shuttle program one of the things that has impressed me is that here are people who have been training many of them for almost 10 years as astronauts and specifically for the tasks they are to complete yet they diligently follow the written instructions.  – Practiced over & over yet still follow the instructions

iii.             As important as their tasks seem, next mission installs the US$1.5bn Columbus Lab ~ Our task to raise Godly children is far more important & critical. – Shouldn’t you think we should invest some quality time in ensuring that we perform this task to the best of our ability? – Where does the idea of a haphazard, ‘she’ll be right’ raising of children come from? – These extremely delicate, priceless treasures, eternal human souls.

         Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (NKJV)

iv.             What are you reading? – Word of God has many words of advice - A vast amount of resource to give guidance and instruction – What are you reading?

v.               Important that as parents we fulfil this responsibility to the best of our ability. A responsibility to love, to nurture to protect, to guide & direct. To discipline as necessary.

         Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (NKJV)

IV.             Altar Call

V.               Dedication – (Adrian & Janice come Forward with Tam & Matika) – Craig & Darren come to stand behind.

i.                 This is to dedicate Tamazin & Matika to the Lord. It is as much if not more about you Adrian & Janice making a commitment to each other, to your marriage, to creating the environment where they can be loved, nurtured and raised to know & love God & be the best they can be.

ii.               In accordance with our text this AM – Not a solo flight – 2 in the cockpit.

iii.             Janice: – You are their mother – Called to love them, God has placed in every mother that motherly instinct. – To nurture, to protect to love & cherish. An integral part of the team. – But there is only one captain. – You need to ensure that you are submitted to your husband.

iv.             Adrian: – You have taken on the responsibility to be a father to these 2 children – God will hold you accountable. – You need to set the example – You need to ensure that you are leading with wise decisions, setting an example, being someone that Janice and the children want to follow – Read – books on parenting / marriage / W.o.G.

v.               Pray

·        Pray for Tam & Matika

·        Pray for Adrian & Janice