The Hard Sayings: Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold

Text: Matthew 5:38-41

Theme: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Well, maybe not.

We’ve all been there — the victim of cruelty or unfair treatment or even violence — and we’ve wanted to “get even.” We want to see our tormentor get their “comeuppance” and even hope “what goes around comes around” will apply to our enemies. It’s in those moments we hope and pray that “karma” is real. We rationalize this desire for evil to befall the unkind as “justice.”

We’ve all heard the line, Revenge is a dish best served cold. It’s a line from an 1846 French novel entitled, Memoirs of Matilda. The proverbial phrase 'revenge is a dish best served cold' expresses the notion that vengeance is more satisfying when exacted some time after the harm that instigated it when the people who offended us are least expecting our retaliation.

Countless stories, books, and movies have been made about some law-abiding family man serious wronged by a perpetrator who personifies evil. In time the “good guy” finally finds the villain who killed his brother, raped his sister, and burned his home — whatever it might be — and exacts a satisfying revenge. In these stories the wronged party finally finds peace of mind when the “bad buy” is serious maimed or dead. Even young children know they are to rejoice and feel a sense of satisfaction when Maleficent, the evil queen of the Sleeping Beauty story, falls to her assumed death (In Disney movies we never seem them land). There’s just one problem: Revenge really doesn’t work like that in real life. All the way back in the 1960s, psychologists conducted studies showing that people who got revenge didn’t actually feel better in the end. This is because revenge actually increases one’s anger. As we ruminate and stew over injustices, those wrongdoings loom larger and larger. We pick at that wound until it’s infected and spreading throughout our whole body. Experts also noticed that seeking revenge can create a vicious cycle. Invariably the person you got even with doesn’t see it as “even” at all — that you overdid the “punishment,” and that it was much bigger than their “crime,” and now they have to do something back to truly balance the scales. And on it goes until, as Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

Jesus instructed his disciples to live a different way; a revolutionary new way that would mark his disciples as radically different than those of the world.

I. THE EARTHLY WAY

“You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth … “

1. Jesus is referring to Old Testament law which God had given to the Hebrews centuries before

a. with just a surface reading, it sounds like a harsh law: "Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth"

b. it allowed — though it did not demand, but it allowed — for a one-for-one or measure-for-measure retribution, and no more

1) in that respect, even the Torah was revolutionary in the annals of ancient jurisprudence

2. when it was first laid down, it marked a great step forward in the nation's (and any other for that matter) law code, for it imposed a strict limitation on the taking of vengeance

a. it sounds almost barbaric to us today, however just think of some of the world's great 'blood-feuds' where a small initial event got blown out of proportion and escalated to wider and wider retaliation

ILLUS. There is simply no feud in the annals of history that is more noteworthy and legendary than the conflict between the West Virginia Hatfield family and the Kentucky McCoy family. The feud began over the ownership of a pig and soon escalated into a boarder war between the two families. Over the course of two decades just over 60 people died.

3. what God's Law actually did was limit the degree of retribution a person could exact from another

a. scholars refer to it as the lex talionis (the Law of the Talon) - the law of retribution

b. in a culture where one's personal honor was everything, it was a law that was meant to limit vengeance or retaliation

4. you cannot have a structured, safe, and functioning society when this law is ignored and self-interest dominates

a. Jesus looked at His disciple and said, the lex talionis is a place to start, but the lex talionis is not good enough Kingdom citizens

b. astoundingly he tells his audience, "But I tell you, do not resist one who is evil"

c. now this is where we have to be careful and not read into the text something that is not there, taking into account all of the Scriptures, and all of what Jesus says in the Gospels

1) does this mean that you never resist and evil person?

2) No ... if you see someone who is about to hurt a child, what is your responsibility? You protect the child

3) this is not a law of absolute pacifism whereby we allow evil people to run roughshod over our lives or the lives of others

A. THE EVIL THAT JESUS IS REFERRING TO HERE, IS THE EVIL OF SLANDER OR HUMILIATION

1. we know this by the context of what follows after his audacious statement

a. immediately Jesus says, " ... But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." (Matthew 5:39, ESV)

b. it is the evil of a false accusation or insult that intends to humiliate

2. every culture has some kind of recognized insult or humiliation

a. in our culture the gesture of a closed fist with an extended middle finger pointed straight up has come to be known as "flipping the bird" and is a recognized insult

ILLUS. It seem to be a gesture almost always involved in road rage.

b. in our culture, there is no ruder, cruder or more insulting gesticulation

3. in Jewish culture, the back-handed slap to the face was our equivalent to "flipping the bird"

a. we know that this is what Jesus is referring to because he specifies the right cheek

b. to slap someone on the right cheek required a back-handed motion with your right hand

c. in the Middle East today, to give a back-handed slap to the face is still considered a vile humiliation

4. what do you do when such an insult occurs?

II. THE KINGDOM WAY

“But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” (Matthew 5:39, ESV)

A. THIS PRINCIPLE IS NOT LEGISLATED FOR AN UNREGENERATE SOCIETY

1. in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus is laying down principles for a redeemed people

a. “turn the other cheek” does not work for the State

b. in fact, the State has the mandate and the authority from God Himself to be a source of order and justice

2. I would so far as to say that one of the primary roles of government at every level is to minimize the need for the Christian to have to turn the other cheek

a. this verse is not saying that we are to let people do whatever they want to us or to others with impunity

3. we are to resist evil with good and one of the “goods” we use to restrain evil is through law and order

ILLUS. I always liked the open tag-line in the original Law and Order series. You hear the narrator say: “In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders.” (There are lots of prosecutors who need that line tattooed on their foreheads so they see it every morning in the mirror!)

4. “defunding the police” and “defanging the courts” does not work for the state which is called to “bear the sword”

B. THIS PRINCIPLE IS EXPECTED OF THOSE IN A KINGDOM SOCIETY

1. the Old Testament had an entire litigation system for those who would insult in such a way

a. if such a slap took place in Jewish culture you could sue for damages

2. Jesus says my people have a higher calling than to defend their honor and stand toe-to-toe with an adversary trading insults and attempting to one-up the other with humiliating actions

3. the Lord's principle is this: "Don't look for justice — move beyond it ... develop a spirit of nobility"

a. the law said it was all right to put out one eye for the eye you lost

1) the New Testament says don't seek revenge at all, but suffer the loss — this is the generous thing to do

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:14-21,NIV)

4. doing exactly what the law requires or allows is justice — God calls us to go past justice and offer grace

a. deciding to live by grace is noble

C. JESUS IS OUR EXAMPLE

1. Jesus himself modeled this behavior for us:

"I gave my back to those who strike, and my cheeks to those who pull out the beard; I hid not my face from disgrace and spitting. 7 But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame. 8 He who vindicates me is near. Who will contend with me? Let us stand up together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near to me." (Isaiah 50:6-8, ESV)

2. Matthew 5:38-41 is not hard because it’s hard to understand

a. it’s hard because it is hard to do

3. it is contrary to our nature — unprovoked assaults prompt resentment and retaliation

a. but Jesus practiced and encouraged us to practice a different ethic

1) not only should we not retaliate but we’re not even to harbor a spirit of resentment

b. if someone does you injury or puts you to inconvenience show yourself the master of the situation by doing something to your antagonists advantage

1) if they get pleasure out of striking you on the cheek turn the other cheek to them and offer it

2) if they compel you to carry a burden a certain distance, take the initiative and go double the demand

III. LESSON FROM THE KINGDOM WAY

1. forgiveness is giving up your rights to get even

2. forgiveness is choosing to stop feeding the anger and resentment toward the person who hurt you, but letting out your hurt in a positive way

ILLUS. In her book, The Power of Forgiveness: Why Revenge Doesn’t Work, Judith Orloff writes, “Forgiveness is the act of compassionately releasing the desire to punish someone or yourself for an offense. While it is natural to feel angry, revenge reduces you to your worst self, puts you on the same level with those spiteful people we claim to abhor.”

3. forgiveness is letting all judgments toward the person who has hurt you be handled by God

4. forgiveness is, when possible, seeking reconciliation with the person who harmed you, and wishing a blessing on their life

ILLUS. Former POW Jacob DeShazer Returns to Japan. He was one of the 80 volunteers of the Doolittle Raiders who bombed Japan in April of 1942. He was one of the unlucky ones whose bomber crashed in Japanese-occupied China. Sergeant DeShazer and seven other airmen were captured by the Japanese. They remained in Japanese prison camps for forty months, enduring systematic torture, routine beatings, starvation rations, and 34 months of solitary confinement. He read a Bible that had been smuggled into camp and, after reading the New Testament, he was born again.

Upon his release at the war’s end, DeShazer rushed home to earn a Bible degree from Seattle Pacific College. In 1948, he returned to Japan with his new bride, Florence, as Free Methodist missionaries.

A tract he authored was instrumental in bringing Mitsuo Fuchida, the man who commanded the air attack on Pearl Harbor, to Christ. A few months later, the two were preaching to crowds together—the Doolittle Raider and the Japanese captain who led the Pearl Harbor attack. They brought to thousands the message of God’s sacrificial love for all people, and the power of forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Jacob and Florence DeShazer ministered for thirty years in Japan and planted twenty-three churches.