Friendship
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I took a class on preaching when I was in seminary and the professor was teaching us about illustrations in sermons one day and he told us this story that I’ve always remembered. He talked about how he got a pen as a gift for speaking somewhere one time and he didn’t think much of it until he showed it to a friend of his who was into pens and he found out it was like a $200 pen. He started using it then and one day before he was about to go up to preach he went to make a note with it and it was out of ink. Then the professor talked about different ways he could used that as an illustration in a sermon and he said he could say that life without friends is empty just like his pen was. And I remember thinking “what a stupid illustration”!
We’re talking about friends tonight! We all have them, they’re important to us, they a gift from God to us. One of the ways that we bear his image is that we are made to live in relationship with others, and Proverbs gives us some good wisdom on how to do that and how not to do it and why it’s good!
PRAY
Bad Friends
Bad Friends
Gossips don’t make good friends.
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Gossips don’t make good friends.
Dictionary of Bible Themes 5868 gossip
Idle talk which foolishly or maliciously spreads rumours or facts. The effects of gossiping are divisive and destructive.
I used to have different ways I defined gossip that worked for me…
I think it comes to two questions
Is what’s being said true?
What is the motivation in saying it?
Sure they aren’t talking about you now, but if they’re talking about others to you then what makes you think they won’t one day talk to others about you?
They stir up trouble, tear people apart for their own gain or entertainment, and they hurt people.
Friends (everyone) should be honest and trustworthy, not starting fights.
For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.
Gossips steal peace. They don’t make good friends. Neither do fake friends!
Watch out for fake friends.
Watch out for fake friends.
I was surprised to find a handful of Proverbs about this, fake friends attracted by wealth. It’s not surprising though is it? It’s a common theme that people show up when someone gets rich.
It makes me think of the scene at the end of the movie Water Boy when Bobby Boucher’s dad shows up…
Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend.
We don’t want fake friends, so we have to be wise and pay attention.
We want good friends. And to be good friends.
Good Friends
Good Friends
Proverbs tells us a lot about good friends.
You know what good friends aren’t like? A $200 pen! A $200 pen still does the same thing as a plastic Paper Mate that was two dollars for a pack of 10! But only a good friend can accomplish the purpose that God had for giving us friends!
We can’t look at all of what Proverbs tells us about good friends, but we’re going to hit a few points.
Good friends are wise.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
This also points out an important principle we need to remember about our friends!
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Good friends are good people.
He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.
Even the king wants to be this person’s friend.
A good friend is around for good times and bad.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
We all want good friends and want to be good friends.
Look at yourself against these proverbs. Look at your friends against these proverbs.
Good friends are valuable.
Value of Friends
Value of Friends
God’s intention for friendships is that they would be enriching for us, help us to be better.
How is metal purified?
How is a flower pruned?
How do muscles grow during exercise?
How is iron sharpened?
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Friends help us to grow. To be better. To be more like Jesus. It may sting a little, but it’s done from love for our good.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
True friends have their friends best interest in mind. Always seeking to help, even if it may hurt a little. Always trying to point their friends toward Jesus. Pointing out blind spots, helping to show the right way.
When you think about it, good friends bring the things to our lives as best they can that Jesus brings us perfectly.
He tells us truth that hurts but is for our good; we are sinners in need of a Savior.
He shares true wisdom, that we should follow Him.
He is perfectly pure, in our place in fact.
And he loves at all times, even as we are in our sin.
He loves his friends so much that He laid his life down for us.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
We fail at being the friends that we should be because we are sinners. Jesus did all these things perfectly, without sin, in our place. And because He is a perfect friend, He took the penalty for our wrong doing on Himself so we could be forgiven.