How to Be a Godly Mother in an Ungodly World

"A young, awkward boy grew up in southern California, plagued by a learning disability that in later years would be called dyslexia. But with his mother’s encouragement and admonishment, he became a strong and capable leader.

Years later he was commanding thousands of Americans troops in a great war. When General George S. Patton found himself in North Africa grappling with the German Army, his thoughts on the battlefield were often of his mother.

It was his mother, he often told colleagues, who ingrained in him the leadership qualities that he was to become famous for. His only regret was that he never expressed sufficient appreciation to her.

Today is a day when we try to express sufficient appreciation for our mothers. Although, in my case, and probably for a lot of us, I don’t think it is possible for me to express sufficient appreciation for everything my mother has done for me.

Today is the 115th Mother’s Day in America. It was first celebrated at St Andrew's Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia, through the efforts of a peace activist named Anna Jarvis, as a memorial to her mother who had recently passed away.

Anna was an interesting lady. During the Civil War she cared for wounded soldiers, from both sides. By 1920 she was so dismayed by the commercialization of Mother’s Day, she tried to get it rescinded.

In any case, Anna Jarvis was someone who recognized the contribution that mothers make to our society.

In the past we have heard some horrific stories of wicked mothers who have done unimaginable evil things, but for the most part, I believe most people would say they had good mothers who did their best for their children.

Of course, no mother is perfect and being a mother is no easy job. Making this more difficult is the fact that our culture has embraced, as its greatest value, personal happiness.

The dangers of divorce, acceptance of sexual immorality, and a preoccupation with self-fulfillment have taken their toll on the family. While our culture spins out of control and the family unit breaks down, the Bible lifts up the family and exalts the place of the woman in the family.

Motherhood is a ministry. It is a ministry of teaching, preparing children to follow God’s pathways, and being an example of the love of Jesus.

I heard about a missionary who was trying to stir up interest to get people to go to a foreign country to preach the gospel. At the end of the service a woman dragging a little boy behind her, told the missionary, "I just feel like God is calling me to be a missionary." The missionary said, "He is, indeed" and he pointed to the little boy and said, "And there’s the little heathen He wants you to preach to."

We are going to be looking at some verses in the book of Titus today. Titus was a young preacher, a protégé of Paul, who Paul put in charge of the churches on the Greek isle of Crete.

Titus ministered in a pagan environment among Christians who had a background in such violence, dishonesty, and immorality that the Cretans were legendary for it. These Christian Women were trying to be godly, but they were living in a supremely ungodly society and Paul feels some direct instruction to Titus is in order.

Titus 2:1–5 KJV 1900

1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

In verse 3 Paul speaks to the women in the church. That they “in behavior as becometh holiness.” I can find no greater evidence of your relationship with the Lord than behavior.

Perhaps let me rephrase that, I can see no greater evidence of a lack of relationship with the Lord than behavior. Sometimes you don’t have to spend very much time with a person to determine where they are on their spiritual journey.

Isn’t it always such a surprise when you know some one who is rather course in their speech and behavior and when you start to witness to them about Jesus Christ, they profess to be a follower as well? It’s not my place to speak to their faith commitment, but a lot of times it is obvious that their relationship with the Lord is not where it is supposed to be.

The verse goes on to say, “not false accusers.” Really, what he is talking about here is gossips. I might get myself in trouble here, but I believe Paul thinks that women tend to suffer this disability more so than men, although I acknowledge that there are some men who can gossip with the best of them.

“Not given to much wine,” there are few things which can destroy your personal testimony quite as quickly as some form of substance abuse.

And finally, “Teachers of good things.” The fact is all mothers are teachers primarily. No one has greater influence over a child than that child’s mother. Like it or not, if you are a mother, you are a teacher and you have the responsibility to be a good teacher.

In verse 4 Paul goes into some detail as to why this teaching role is so important.

“That they may teach the young women to be sober.” Now, here is something interesting. When we see the word “sober” we automatically think this is referring back to verse 3 with regards to wine, but it’s not. The Greek word is sōphronizō (G4994) and what it means is to be moderate and disciplined, to hold to one’s duty and exhort earnestly.

“To love their husbands,” as important as it is to have that good relationship with your children, it is all built on the foundation of your relationship with your husband. This is in contrast to the ungodliness of our world where personal happiness is placed above every other priority. Godly Mothers in an Ungodly World love their husbands.

The marriage relationship should take priority. When the marriage relationship is priority:

The wife and husband will find their greatest fulfillment. Fulfillment that will never come from pursuing material gain or selfish pleasures.

The children will learn how to have a successful marriage. If the marriage relationship is a priority, the children will observe that model and learn what a real marriage is supposed to be. You are teaching and they are learning although neither of you realizes it.

When the marriage relationship takes priority, the wife and husband will both be aware of the dangers of placing other pursuits as priorities above the marriage relationship.

And then “to love their children.”

Loving our children does not mean: Giving them everything they want; Making sure that they keep up with the world. It does not mean making sure they have a pair of Air Jordan’s or the latest iPhone. It doesn’t mean letting them make their own religious decisions and these days their own gender decisions.

Loving your children does mean:

Promote Discipline

Proverbs 23:13–14 KJV 1900

13 Withhold not correction from the child: For if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, And shalt deliver his soul from hell.

I know in today’s climate this is a controversial subject, but if you do not feel right about corporal punishment, there are plenty of other ways to discipline a child. You just have to do it and do it consistently. I see so many children which suffer from a lack of discipline. It almost seems to be the default position. I see many more undisciplined children than I do those that obviously have some discipline at home.

Loving your child means instilling a Christian world view. This comes by providing a Christian environment at home. It means being the same people at home that you are at church. It means reading them the Bible stories about the love of Jesus Christ.

Loving your child means caring for their spiritual, emotional, and physical needs.

Psalm 127:3–5 KJV 1900

3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

In 2 Timothy 1, Paul is writing to Timothy. Paul apparently knew Timothy’s mother and grandmother and he is congratulating Timothy for the way he was raised and the way his mother was raised.

5 When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.

Lets look now to verse 5 to some steps in:

Developing Christian Character

Be Self-Controlled

King James translates it as discreet

The New American Standard Bible uses the word sensible

The New Living Translation says live wisely

This means to be sober minded. The young woman is to think about what she is doing with her life. The Cretans were known for a lack of self-control. This is a fruit of the Spirit - it influences all we do.

1 Timothy 2:9

…that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…

Basically, is saying be respectable, with modesty and self-control.

Be Chaste

This is talking about being committed to your marriage vows.

It also relates to spiritual influence in the home.

1 Peter 3:1–2 KJV 1900

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

The example the wife sets has the power to influence the husband

Keepers at Home. In the time of Titus, there were false teachers who were dividing families with their teachings. Many worldly elements work against families today. Paul is not prohibiting women working outside the home, but he clearly urges that the home take a position of priority in our lives. Christian homes are created, they do not just happen. It is the simple fact that there is no greater task, responsibility and privilege in this world than to make a home.

Be good. Sometimes translated as being kind. Being benevolent toward others, hospitality. Having a giving nature.

Be obedient to your husband. God has created an order which includes a masculine headship not of authority, but of responsibility and loving care. Problems occur when men are all to willing to exercise their authority, but do so in an irresponsible manner.

The noted theologian, John Stott said "Where love and mutual respect rule the home there will be little problem with submission on the part of the wife…The husband is not a dictator, but he exercises his headship primarily by service. This is the same way that Jesus expressed his headship over the church."

These character qualities are quite different than what was common among the Cretans, and they are not as common in our culture either.

Conclusion:

The Mom Ministry is one of the toughest assignments God ever gave anybody! She’s got to be as insightful as a psychologist, tough as a marine corps drill instructor, gentle as a nurse.

She’s got to be a labor and management negotiator. A teacher, an electrician, a plumber and a carpenter. It requires an endless supply of energy, a massive amount of patience, and iron will, and recognition of the fact that if she ever gets sick, she’s got to get well before the end of the school day.

600 college students were asked to write down the most beautiful word in the English language. 422 of them wrote the word "mother".

Being a Godly Mother in an Ungodly World isn’t an easy task. We need to pray for and support our mothers often.

Maggie Pitman

Her hands held me gently from the day I took my first breath.

Her hands helped to guide me as I took my first step.

Her hands held me close when the tears would start to fall.

Her hands were quick to show me that she would take care of it all.

Her hands were there to brush my hair, or straighten a wayward bow.

Her hands were often there to comfort the hurts that didn't always show.

Her hands helped hold the stars in place, and encouraged me to reach.

Her hands would clap and cheer and praise when I captured them at length.

Her hands would also push me, though not down or in harm's way.

Her hands would punctuate the words, just do what I say.

Her hands sometimes had to discipline, to help bend this young tree.

Her hands would shape and mold me into all she knew I could be.

Her hands are now twisting with age and years of work,

Her hand now needs my gentle touch to rub away the hurt.

Her hands are more beautiful than anything can be.

Her hands are the reason I am me.