Emotional Baggage; The Sins of the Father

Don’t Be Leslie Ray Charping!

obit.carnesfuneralhome.com

There were no services and this was the obituary the daughter wrote.

Lesslie Ray “Popeye” Charping

Leslie Ray "Popeye" Charping was born in Galveston, Texas on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.  Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for.  He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.

At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive.  Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges.  While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes.  Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned.  Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend.  No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured.  Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out.  Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.

When the news outlets got ahold this they contacted her and she assured them that she was ok and that she was not sorry for what she written.

She went on to say that she appreciated the concern that everyone was expressing, it would have been more helpful to receive when she was a child!

Sad truth - everyone has baggage!

Emotional baggage is a very complicated “thing” and often does not come just from having a bad childhood in a traditional sense.

Baggage that has to be dealt with:

Unreal expectations

Living vicariously through their children

Abandonment

Divorce

Excessive punishment

Conditional love

Fear (walking on eggshells)

Many things cause pain to us that affect us for the rest of life.

Pain that causes some to do the same thing to their family as was done to them.

While others that go through the same situations seem unaffected.

Overcome, stronger

This is a great paradox!

Why would a person having been afflicted by such pain, afflict their own children?

Exodus 20:4–5 KJV 1900

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

Exodus 34:6–7 KJV 1900

6 And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, 7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.

God is not a liberal!

No free passes.

Deuteronomy 5:9–10 KJV 1900

9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, 10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

What does this mean?

This seems like It should give me a pass…

My dad was a jerk, so I can be a jerk!

At worst it seems to say that God will hold children responsible for what their parents did, rather than treating them as victims of what happened.

That is contrary to all the scripture teaches.

So let’s try and figure this out!

Ezekiel 18:5–20 KJV 1900

5 But if a man be just, and do that which is lawful and right, 6 And hath not eaten upon the mountains, neither hath lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, neither hath defiled his neighbour’s wife, neither hath come near to a menstruous woman, 7 And hath not oppressed any, but hath restored to the debtor his pledge, hath spoiled none by violence, hath given his bread to the hungry, and hath covered the naked with a garment; 8 He that hath not given forth upon usury, neither hath taken any increase, that hath withdrawn his hand from iniquity, hath executed true judgment between man and man, 9 Hath walked in my statutes, and hath kept my judgments, to deal truly; he is just, he shall surely live, saith the Lord God. 10 If he beget a son that is a robber, a shedder of blood, and that doeth the like to any one of these things, 11 And that doeth not any of those duties, but even hath eaten upon the mountains, and defiled his neighbour’s wife, 12 Hath oppressed the poor and needy, hath spoiled by violence, hath not restored the pledge, and hath lifted up his eyes to the idols, hath committed abomination, 13 Hath given forth upon usury, and hath taken increase: shall he then live? he shall not live: he hath done all these abominations; he shall surely die; his blood shall be upon him. 14 Now, lo, if he beget a son, that seeth all his father’s sins which he hath done, and considereth, and doeth not such like, 15 That hath not eaten upon the mountains, neither hath lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, hath not defiled his neighbour’s wife, 16 Neither hath oppressed any, hath not withholden the pledge, neither hath spoiled by violence, but hath given his bread to the hungry, and hath covered the naked with a garment, 17 That hath taken off his hand from the poor, that hath not received usury nor increase, hath executed my judgments, hath walked in my statutes; he shall not die for the iniquity of his father, he shall surely live. 18 As for his father, because he cruelly oppressed, spoiled his brother by violence, and did that which is not good among his people, lo, even he shall die in his iniquity. 19 Yet say ye, Why? doth not the son bear the iniquity of the father? When the son hath done that which is lawful and right, and hath kept all my statutes, and hath done them, he shall surely live. 20 The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him.

We are ALL rewarded for what we have done, according to what we did!

So what was Moses trying to tell us?

What Moses was saying is that God punishes children for the sins that they learned from their parents!

You don’t get a free pass because you grew up in a bad environment or had bad things happen to you!

God is not a liberal!

The fact that you were raised in a dysfunctional home...

The fact that you were abused...

The fact that you were hurt...

Does not mean that God will allow it to slide in your life!

He does NOT “clear the guilty”!

Your past is not a legitimate excuse for you present!

That is dangerous, liberal theology!

Moses was saying that if children do what their parents taught them to do and what they were taught is evil, then they will receive the same reward as their parent!

AND the opposite applies 1000 times over!

Children who grow up in dysfunctional and or abusive homes come to believe that disfunction and or abuse is normal behavior.

So they repeat what they know...

Generation after generation.

Generaltional curses.

Let’s look closer at this.

Matthew 6:22–23 KJV 1900

22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!

This is an analogy of the way we physically see things and mentally see things

To understand this you have to start with knowing what each thing in the analogy represents.

Eye = your perspective - the way you see things

Light = truth

Darkness = lies, falsehood

Body = mind

Jesus is comparing how we physically see things to how we mentally see things.

Matthew 6:22–23 NLT

22 “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. 23 But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!

Let’s add our definitions into this:

If your perspective is good, your whole mind is filled with truth. But when your perspective is bad, your whole mind is filled with falsehoods. And if the truth you think you have is actually false, how great that falsehood is!

If we have the wrong perspective on something, then what we think is right is actually wrong!

So each decision that you make...

Each assumption that you live by...

Each truth that you believe...

IS A LIE!

That’s why children who are abused grow up to abuse.

Those raised by drunks become drunken parents.

Because the light that you thought you had is actually darkness!

This is why you have to have the RIGHT perspective on everything!

Let’s take this analogy a little farther.

Jesus asked the question; “If your eye be bad...”

Abnormal development

Tramma

So let’s apply to the analogy.

What would cause a person’s perspective to be bad?

Abnormal development

Tramma

Abnormal Development

Abnormal development as a child

Formative years.

If you grew up in a good home you develop a good perspective on life.

BUT if you grew up in a bad home you will develop a bad perspective on life.

You wont see things as normal AND NOT EVEN REALIZE IT!

Tramma

Tramma can damage a persons perspective.

Betrayal

Why does it happen?

Sin has a corporate dynamic.

Even though only one person bears the guild for what was done, others bear the affect of what was done.

Sin not only affects the sinner, but the entire group.

There is always a ripple affect.

Sin nature

Principle: The more dysfunctional you are the more unhealthy you are and the more baggage you have!

Moses: If you sin it is going to affect your kids, they will do what you do and will receive the same punishment!

Can you escape the ripple affect?

Can you be healed?

You don’t have to react…

We have to see things the way that God sees things.