The Wise Woman, Proverbs 31, January 16, 2022
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Transcript
Introduction
Introduction
How can I fully describe the Proverbs 31 woman?
What kind of woman is honored by our culture? What kind of woman has news articles written about her or gets talked about a lot?
Broadly our culture honors women who either match up to the current beauty standards of the day or they succeed and beat men at their own game.
The kind of woman worthy of honor in God’s sight
The kind of woman worthy of honor in God’s sight
OUr culture is working very hard to demolish the distinctions between men and woman
Proverbs 31 describes and extraordinary woman fully confident in her identity as a woman and making a difference where she is.
Wisdom versus Folly in the Home.
Wisdom versus Folly in the Home.
Proverbs 31 as an acrostic and a symbol
Proverbs 31 as an acrostic and a symbol
Each verse begins with a letter in the Hebrew alphabet to help with memorizing the chapter
This also pulls back the the personification of wisdom that we saw earlier in the book.
The search for the woman of excellence
The search for the woman of excellence
Men, look for this woman.
Men, look for this woman.
Women, become this woman.
Women, become this woman.
Not the Disney mother! —Listen to your Mother
Not the Disney mother! —Listen to your Mother
1 The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:
2 What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?
Warning—A “strange woman” will destroy you!
Warning—A “strange woman” will destroy you!
3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.
3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.
4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink,
5 lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
6 Give strong drink to the one who is perishing, and wine to those in bitter distress;
7 let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.
21 With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him.
22 All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast
17 who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God;
20 This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.”
No matter how seductive or alluring an unwise woman may look. Or man. She or he will destroy you.
She is the opposite of a godly wife.
Tear down house rather than build it.
Neglect family rather than lift it up.
Ruin you financially rather than help you.
Remember the women in the Bible who negatively influenced their husband’s lives.
Remember the women in the Bible who negatively influenced their husband’s lives.
Opening Up Proverbs The Wrong Kind of Woman Will Ruin You (v. 3)
Delilah, Job’s wife, Jezebel, Michal, and Solomon’s foreign wives.
A woman of character will add to your success.
A woman of character will add to your success.
10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
A woman of character truly is a gift from God who brings blessings in all areas of life.
22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.
14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
She will be a trustworthy partner.
She will be a trustworthy partner.
We will talk a lot more about this woman but this point is crucial. A woman of wisdom is someone you can trust with your children, your money, your household, your reputation, with all of who you are. You can trust her with your secrets and more. This value truly is priceless isn’t it. Make it your ambition to be a trustworthy person in your life today.
She will constantly produce value.
She will constantly produce value.
With two children and the hope to get a dog in the future I’m aware how much money is leaving my life on a regular basis. Especially being the owner of 12 and 19 year old cars I understand how things and people can sometimes be a constant drain of resources.
The woman of wisdom who lives by the principles of Proverbs is an asset. She will constantly produce value in all areas of life.
Many of you know that Ashley doesn’t work full time outside the home and hasn’t in the last decade since we had children. Many times we’ve talked about her returning to work in some capacity. But every time we talk about this I’m reminded again of how crazy valuable she is in all of life and not just in terms of making money. She saves us money and creates value with cooking, childcare, cleaning, caring for others and so much more.
I’ve seen many single men find their lives dramatically improved by marrying the right woman. The woman of wisdom is priceless.
What’s extraordinary here is that a woman of wisdom treats her husband even better than he deserves because a woman of wisdom is ultimately serving her family and husband in service to the Lord.
She will bring you honor in the community.
She will bring you honor in the community.
23 Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
This woman does such an excellent job running the home that her husband has the opportunity to pour himself into his work. He is able to be the best possible business leader or worker. He would not be who he is without her.
You’ve heard the saying,
“Behind every great man there is a great woman.”
…and a surprised mother in law. :)
But it’s true isn’t it? It is the excellence of many of the wives of great men throughout history who enabled them to do the work that impacted the world. Conversely many potentially influential men and women have found their work hampered by a foolish spouse.
Notice I intentionally switched from just talking about wives here. Truly the importance of a wise spouse changes the trajectory of your life. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about the husband or the wife.
The many ways a woman of excellence will help her husband.
The many ways a woman of excellence will help her husband.
She has a home focus.
She has a home focus.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
There are so many pressures on women and voices in your head these days. The woman of wisdom described by Proverbs lives with a focus. She is a woman who is careful about the influences she allows in her life. She is someone who thinks intentionally about who she is in God’s sight.
Perhaps not every wise Christian woman will be a full time stay at home mom. But nevertheless a truly wise Christian woman draws her identity from Christ more than any other influence.
26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,
27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,
28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Honestly this is a truth for both men and for women. It is Christian to be willing to lay down your life to serve others. It is Christian to sacrifice your comforts and even your dreams for someone else.
I remember it was very hard for Ashley to switch from being a teacher working and producing to staying home with a baby daughter who almost never slept. It was a sacrifice of things that gave her purpose every day.
If you call your self a Christian....a Christ-follower, then you are by definition someone who should be willing to sacrifice for others.
She is diligent
She is diligent
13 She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
I love this section! It describes a life of purpose and intentionality. One of the hardest things about switching from a life of employment full time to working with children is a lack of purpose. This woman described here works with intentionality. She uses the skills she has to produce value and care for her family.
This doesn’t mean that a wise woman has to be able to process wool, trade food goods, lift weights, and make clothes. This is the kind of woman who has invested herself working hard where she can make a difference.
This is a woman who plans ahead. She shops early and often for the things her family needs. She considers what will help her family thrive and she makes time for that.
She fills her home with quality and beauty
She fills her home with quality and beauty
Opening Up Proverbs She Brings Beauty and Quality into Her Home (vv. 14, 21–22)
If you want to know what the world would be like without women, visit a man’s apartment and see how he lives, eats, and dresses when ladies aren’t around.
Before Ashley I lived in a little apartment with a cooler for a table, vertical stacks of books for a bookshelf and a rocky poster as my only decoration. Now our home is filled with color and beauty
A wise woman fills her home with beauty and quality. A wise woman also takes care of here outward appearance as well to show love to her husband.
Let me say this. In living a third of a century I’ve noticed a couple things.
You don’t need to be an interior decorator to make a home beautiful.
I’ve seen ugly expensive houses and beautiful homes of people with nothing.
You simply need to fill a home with love. As you fill your home with love you will naturally do your best to add quality and beauty everywhere you can.
You don’t need to have a model’s body to be a beautiful woman.
I’ve seen ugly models and extraordinarily beautiful women who happen to be “just ordinary women”.
If you fill your heart with a love for God and those around you, you will find beauty. Out of love, do what it takes to love God and love others as you love yourselves. Beauty starts at the heart and radiates outward.
She is an excellent administrator
She is an excellent administrator
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
A foolish wife is not someone who can be trusted.
A wise wife works hard and is trustworthy in every endeavor.
Her husband readily and willingly delegates responsibility to his wife.
She has wise speech
She has wise speech
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
A wise woman is discreet, she doesn’t cause problems with foolish words.
She doesn’t nag her husband
15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
Instead she builds up her husband
4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
She also teaches her children and grandchildren
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Is your speech wise?
The rewards an excellent wife will receive.
The rewards an excellent wife will receive.
Glory in the home
Glory in the home
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
A woman who invests heavily in the success of her children will be called blessed. She will be honored by God and by her children.
Now I get it that pouring into your family can seem like a small goal at times. It can seem like you are sacrificing doing great things for children who grow up and leave.
But building healthy and strength into your family is something which will be remembered for a generation. The mother and wife you are is what will be talked about after you die. Not where you worked.
This woman in Proverbs 31 is both a woman involved in business but also deeply invested in the success of her family. Few men could accomplish such a feat.
Unfading beauty
Unfading beauty
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
One of the ways our world has always measured women is by their outward beauty but the reality has always been that beauty fades. No matter what you do, despite make up, exercise, and surgery, outward beauty will fade.
But an inner beauty lasts for a lifetime.
An inner beauty grows as you age.
An inner beauty causes your spouse to grow more and more in love with you every year.
What’s the secret to her success?
She fears the Lord
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Do you want to be a woman of wisdom? Just looking through all the qualities we’ve talked about here seems overwhelming. A woman of wisdom and excellence finds her strength in a fear of God.
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
The Bible reminds us that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom isn’t it? Men and women if you want to live with wisdom and success, live with a fear of God.
Sometimes whether you are a man or a woman it’s tempting to think,
“I’ll be a better husband/wife as soon as my spouse is better.”
This thinking is wrong and counter-productive. Living with a fear of God means your actions are more about what God would want than what your spouse deserves. You are putting your trust in your heavenly Father and not your earthly spouse.
7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.
8 He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
Conclusion
Conclusion
Ladies, aspire to be a woman of wisdom. Don’t make Eve’s mistake from the garden.
And ladies take note this woman of wisdom didn’t just sit at home knitting, she was involved in business and more. So if investing in your family means you’re working full time and investing in your home, then do that with excellence and pride. But seek God first and in all you do.
Older women, teach younger women and your grandchildren
3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good,
4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Married men, encourage your wife
Recognize the gift, the treasure she is. Show her that you delight in and respect her. Date her. Surprise her with love. Speak highly of her in the presence of others. Make her even more beautiful.
Single men
Look for a woman of excellence. Beauty fades, but godliness grows more beautiful for a lifetime.
14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
Christ our Savior
Christ our Savior
Christ has been and will always be our Savior. Please don’t walk away from this chapter feeling discouraged. Perhaps you as a woman see these attributes and feel the ways you fall short. God doesn’t peddle in guilt and shame. God wants you to know that Jesus died so we could stand before him unashamed.
14 For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
God loves you right where you are and how you are. You are good enough. You are fully and completely able to be the woman God has called you to be.