Take Charge of Your Home

Intro: We live in a corrupt culture

Pop quiz! Only once in the whole Bible is a geographic location described as being like the garden of Eden. Where is it?

There are references that use the garden as an illustration of blessing (Is 51), prosperity (Eze 31), or restoration (Rev 21), but only once is there a direct, physical comparison. It occurs in Gen 13:10, when the narrator describes how Lot responded when Abraham suggested that they part ways to resolve a conflict between their herdsmen.

“Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere⁠—this was before Yahweh destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah⁠—like the garden of Yahweh, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar.”

However, in the midst of their abundant opulence and despite the apparent beauty in Sodom, God still sent his prophet to rebuke them and we know he destroyed them:

Eze 16:49-50, “Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had lofty pride, abundant food, and quiet ease, but she did not strengthen the hand of the afflicted and needy. 50 Then they were haughty and committed abominations before Me. So I removed them when I saw it.”

I believe that we are living in a similar culture of lofty pride, abundant food, and quiet ease. The rich are getting richer while the poor are becoming afflicted and needy. Men and women alike are growing bold and confident as they multiply their abominations and advance their selfish agendas in the government and popular media.

In the providence of God, both Jacob and Jack have addressed the dangers of sexual immorality and homosexuality these last two weeks. This lesson is something of a third installment in that series.

Perhaps as you’ve listened, your flesh has tempted you to pray like a Pharisee, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: homosexuals, lesbians, polygamists, or even like these transgenders. I go to church twice a week; I setup my giving on autopay.” Consider, though, that God only paid attention to the sinner who was contrite and lowly. I hope that through our text this morning, God will bring about conviction and repentance in your heart, that you leave understanding what God expects of you in your home and why it matters in our culture today.

Let’s pray, and then we will read a section from Gen 18. We will spend our time this morning looking at verse 19 in particular.

Gen 18:16-21, “Then the men rose up from there and looked down toward Sodom; and Abraham was walking with them to send them off. 17 Now Yahweh said, ‘Shall I conceal from Abraham what I am about to do, 18 since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? 19 For I have known him, so that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice, so that Yahweh may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.’ 20 So Yahweh said, ‘The outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave. 21 I will go down now and see whether they have done entirely according to its outcry, which has come to Me; and if not, I will know.’”

Notice verse 19 again, the part that we will study this morning. Yahweh says (almost talking to himself), “For I have known him, so that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice, so that Yahweh may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.” Here we gain some insight into the mind of God—we learn a little bit about what he is looking for when he is preparing to judge a wicked society that has rejected his standards for morality.

We will break this down into three sections: 1) remember that Yahweh has known you, 2) command your children and household after you, and 3) recognize the importance of this responsibility. Be prepared. There will be some very direct points for you to consider, and I have spent many hours laboring in my own conviction and repentance here.

Remember that Yahweh has known you

We will start by considering the significance of the opening clause, “For I have known him.” We can easily see that this is Yahweh speaking about Abraham, but it is a little harder to pin down the meaning of the verb “to know” in this context (where it is often translated as “chosen” instead). This verb typically refers to simple awareness, though it can also be used as a euphemism for sexual intercourse. It is very flexible and has a range of about 10 related meanings in Hebrew lexicons.

Thankfully, there are a couple other texts in the Hebrew Bible that use this word in a similar way, with Yahweh as the subject. They indicate two major implications. Yahweh knowing Abraham...

1) Demonstrates Privilege

Not too long ago in Genesis, Yahweh established what we call the Abrahamic Covenant. In 2 Sam 7, he established the Davidic Covenant, where he promised David a house and a kingdom for him where his throne would last forever. Hearing this news, David sits in amazement before God to worship and give thanks, quite aware of his unworthiness. In verse 20, he interrupts his praise and thanksgiving to wonder aloud, “And again what more can David say to You? And You know Your slave, O Lord Yahweh!” He is just blown away by the fact that the Lord Yahweh had determined to know him—it made him feel like a tiny nobody. He knew, like Abraham, that he did not deserve the privilege he had been given.

2) Increases Accountability

As Uncle Ben says, though, with great power (or privilege) comes great responsibility. God held the nation of Israel accountable for the blessing they inherited in Abraham:

Amos 3:1-2, “Hear this word which Yahweh has spoken against you, sons of Israel, against the entire family which He brought up from the land of Egypt, saying, 2 ‘You only have I known among all the families of the earth; Therefore I will punish you for all your iniquities.’”

The reference to exclusivity (“you only among all the families of the earth”) is the reason why many Bibles translate the verb “to know” in verse 19 as “choose.” It implies exlusivity. However, Yahweh’s conclusion at the end is stark: “Therefore I will punish you for all your iniquities.” He holds the Israelites accountable for their great privileges.

3) Applies to Us

Considering these things, we might remember that God has given us great privileges too:

1 Pet 2:9-12a, “But you are a chosen family, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 10 for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 11 Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul, 12 by keeping your conduct excellent among the Gentiles”

Notice how this passage nicely ties together our spiritual privileges with our resulting accountability to abstain from fleshly lusts.

By faith, we are blessed with Abraham, the believer, as children of righteousness, and we enjoy the intimacy of God as our heavenly father. We read elsewhere:

1 Cor 8:2-3, “if anyone loves God, he has been known by Him.”

This should be a great comfort to us—our love for God and our obedience to God is only possible because he has already known us. So it is with God’s expectations in Gen 18:19; he had already given Abraham everything necessary for life and godliness. Therefore, the implication of God knowing us is that we must conduct ourselves carefully in holiness.

Furthermore, we cannot make excuses. We will be held accountable. If we go to war, our commander will not care about our childhood—he will know us as a man and expect us to fight. Similarly, we are at war spiritually and what follows here is serious business. It is time for us to step up in our homes and play the man.

Specifically, if you are a father or head of a household who loves God and has been known by God, who is privileged and accountable, but who is still making excuses for your behavior because of problems in your childhood or with your father, then you do not just have daddy issues, you are one! You have become a stumbling block for your entire household. Now it is time for you to man up and take responsibility for your own sins, to confess them and come to Jesus to be cleansed from all unrighteousness. He will make you whole.

With that foundation laid for our text, let us consider what it is that we are accountable before God to do with the privilege that he knows us.

Command your children and household after you

Let’s return to our text and consider the next two clauses, which are the real meat, the steak and potatoes in this verse. Let me read this piece, “For I have known him, so that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice.”

First, I want to quickly crunch through some observations about each of the phrases that are involved. Then, once we have a good handle on the main ideas, I want to zoom out and consider the meaning of these clauses in light of the behavior we see demonstrated in the lives of Abraham and Lot while God brings judgment on Sodom and Gomorrah.

1) Understand the scope of your responsibility

We need to understand the scope of our responsibility, what it is that we are accountable before God to do as we follow Abraham’s example. Just like analyzing the scope of a contract at work, we need to be careful and precise here to ensure that our expectations for future behavior are properly aligned.

So that - here we see that what follows is the reason why God knew Abraham, to bring this about

He may command his children and his household - this is so important; despite popular opinion, it is not only right but also a God-given responsibility for men to lead in the home. Unfortunately, our culture just pretends that children are innocent instead of immature, and that grown men are too privileged. This fails to account for total depravity, though, and the inherent foolishness of children. As Voddie Baucham is known to say, “Children are vipers in diapers,” and they must learn to obey and submit to authority. Furthermore, we need to keep in mind that our western concept of a household is pretty anemic; contextually, this passage is referring also to your wife, extended family, servants, and slaves.

After him - this is so important. We need to be leading by example in our homes. If we fail, we need to confess our sin to our family, and then work diligently to make up for lost time. A word of caution, though: be careful that you raise the bar slowly and steadily. If we’re constantly swinging from extreme diligence to surprising failure, we will inoculate them and find it increasingly hard to earn their trust. Be faithful in little before you attempt much.

That they keep the way of Yahweh - this is not the content of the command; instead, it is the result of the command. It is your responsibility to determine the commands you will give to your children and household, but they should all be oriented toward producing this result. In addition, “the way” indicates that the means are as important as the ends. We cannot cut corners or justify underhanded practices in the name of serving God. We must demonstrate complete integrity.

To do righteousness and justice - finally, we have reached the destination in these clauses. From this we gather that the intent of here is not that we command our households regarding the color of their bed sheets; rather, we need to be clear about our priorities, reserving our commands for issues related to obeying the will of God.

2) Learn from Abraham and Lot’s examples

Now that we have finished with the microscope, I want to zoom out and consider these this theme of righteousness and justice in light of Abraham and Lot’s examples. We have traced the black and white contours of the image, and now we are going to color the design in with some illustrations from the story of God’s judgment in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Specifically, we are going to observe how Abraham sets a good example, and Lot sets a bad one. You’ll remember, though, that God demonstrated Lot’s fundamentally righteous character by saving him from destruction, and this is attested by the author of Hebrews. The difference here, though, is that we are trying to learn maturity and holiness from Abraham.

a) Abraham and Lot separate; Lot chooses Sodom

Back in Genesis 13, Abraham and Lot’s households were growing and their herdsmen got into some kind of argument. Abraham voiced his concern that there be no conflict between them as brothers, and proposing that they part ways for the sake of keeping the peace, he offered first pick of the land to Lot as a demonstration of good will.

Abraham was the first to speak up and seek a peaceful resolution, and his generosity underscored his genuine desire to maintain a good relationship

Lot’s only recorded actions were to lift up his eyes and see how well watered the valley of the Jordan was and to choose “for himself all the valley of the Jordan”

Jas 3:16-18, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruits, without doubting, without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”

Abraham demonstrated the peaceful righteousness that James attributes to the wisdom from above. Furthermore, God rewarded him for it too. While Lot lifted up his own eyes to see in verse 10 and then to move eastward in verse 11, Yahweh visited Abram and told him to life up his eyes to see, not just eastward, but northward, southward, and westward too. He also promised that Abraham would get all the land, while Lot was left with his limited choice of taking only the valley. So we see that there is a reward for righteousness.

Are you the first in your household to seek peace when conflict arises?

b) Lot is captured; Abraham comes to his rescue

In the next chapter (Gen 14), a coalition of five mountain kings attacked and enslaved the five valley kings (Sodom, Gomorrah, Admah, Zeboiim, and Zoar). The valley kings tried to break free, but they lost the battle ended up fleeing. Lot was captured since he was living in the valley, but when Abraham heard about it, he brought 318 trained men and overthrew the mountain kings, saving Lot. Afterward, Melchizedek blessed Abram in the presence of the king of Sodom, but Abram refused the spoils and declared his trust in Yahweh.

Abraham was devoted to building his household, and we see remarkable progress in that he produced 318 trained men of war capable of overthrowing five victorious kings

Lot was only mentioned twice, in the same way both times, as “Lot with his possessions.” He went and came back the same way; all he had to show for himself is whose-its and whats-its galore.

Ps 37:28, “For Yahweh loves justice And will not forsake His holy ones”

Abraham demonstrated a sense of justice by not forsaking his nephew in the day of trouble. Instead, he ran to his rescue, freed the oppressed from captivity, and refused any reward. In the next chapter, though, Yahweh promised to be a shield to Abraham with a very great reward, as the father of a son and a nation. So again, we see that there is a reward for justice.

Are you investing your efforts into the people or possessions of your household?

c) Abraham and Lot during God’s judgment of the cities

Now that we have considered a key example for both righteousness and justice, I want to run through a series of shorter comparisons surrounding our text in Gen 18:19.

1. In Gen 17, Abraham led his son and household males to be circumcised together in precise obedience to God’s command, similar to Noah’s exact obedience in building the ark previously. However, when the angels commanded Lot to flee for his life in 19:12-16, his own sons-in-law imagined that he was playing a joke on everyone, so he hesitated to obey.

Are you leading your household in precise and unified obedience?

2. When the kings captured Lot in Gen 14, Abraham dropped everything he was doing to race all night and save his nephew (who had already made his own choice to live in that valley), but Lot had the gall in Gen 19 to offer his own (even engaged!) daughters to a bunch of homosexual heathens so that he could put up a good front with his special visitors.

Are you prioritizing those that God has entrusted to your oversight?

3. When God warned Abraham of judgment on Sodom and Gomorrah in Gen 18, Abraham believed and jumped straight into logistical questions, humbly acknowledging his status before God as just dust and ashes. Lot, however, demonstrated unbelief through his hesitation, and then he objected outright when the angels told him to flee to the mountains.

Are you taking God at his word in humble devotion, or do you hesitate and object?

4. When Abraham questioned God about sparing the righteous, he argued on the basis of principled convictions (e.g., he only argued for 10 generic righteous people, rather than showing partiality for his nephew) and the character of God. Meanwhile, Lot wheedled for a wicked city so he could not be inconvenienced in the mountains (focusing on pragmatism).

Are you interceding with God on the basis of his perfect character, or your personal preferences?

5. Abraham had led his wife in such a way that she trusted him enough to follow him when he determined to follow God’s commands and leave their families back in Gen 12, but Lot’s wife lagged behind him and disobeyed God, turning back to her city and people, disregarding her husband, and turning into a pillar of salt.

Are you leading your household with such integrity that your wife trusts you?

6. Later in Gen 24, Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac who would follow him as he obeyed God’s calling, but Lot “moved his tents as far as Sodom” when he left Abraham back in Gen 13. Lot probably chose his wife from the daughters of Sodom, and then he left his own daughters cooped up in a cave at the end of Gen 19 (where they took turns getting him drunk and raping him, ironically inverting his previous idea that a bunch of homosexuals gang rape them in his own front yard).

Are you giving careful attention to your associations and the spouses of your children?

I hope these brief illustrations do more for you than mere word studies on righteousness and justice. God brought it up right before he judged Sodom and Gomorrah because he wanted to leave a memorial for us to know what it was that would have pleased him when he went down to see what was going on in the city. He declared that he knew Abraham “so that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice.” This should be our goal for maturity as we lead in our homes, rather than living like Lot: a complacent believer with weak faith. Abraham was the real man, the one who led by example in righteousness and justice.

Recognize the importance of this responsibility

In our final clause, I hope to impress upon you the great importance of this responsibility to take charge in your home. Perhaps you are wondering,

Does God really expect me to do all of this in my home?

Isn’t there a Zoar around here where I can escape to take it easy?

What if I already blew it and now I’m just an empty nester?

That sounds like a lot of work, is there anything in it for me?

How bad would it be if I just did an okay job at this?

Let’s consider three reasons why we absolutely must command our children and households that they keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice.

1) So that Yahweh can fulfill his promises

Consider the last clause of our verse, “so that Yahweh may bring upon Abraham what he has spoken of him.” God accomplishes his purposes by the use of means. Remember, God has known us, we are privileged and responsible, and God’s initiative is not aimless. He desires faithful fathers. We know the plan of God for our homes, and we should not be found neglecting, undermining, or overthrowing it lest we be found fighting against God’s sovereign will.

As heads of households, this is God’s top priority for us. God cares more about what is going on in your home than he does about what is going on in the church—that is why faithful household management is a prerequisite for both elders and deacons. Similarly, society is made up of units of families—the home is where all desires for social justice and cultural righteousness should begin. Start fighting those battles at home today. This is square one, ground zero.

Remember this, and don’t let other priorities like work or ministry get in front of your home. God refuses the prayers of men who do not live with their wives in an understanding way, and his blessings on and through you to others are dependent on your leadership in your home.

2) So that we can avoid Lot’s example

As a caveat, I want to note that we have really hammered Lot today, despite the facts that God vindicated his righteousness by saving him from destruction and that Peter used him as an example of one who was oppressed and tormented by unprincipled lawlessness. Therefore, we ought to be asking ourselves why Lot ended up the way he was.

If you read the end of Gen 11 and beginning of Gen 12 carefully, you’ll discover some interesting things about Lot. His father Haran did not make it far in life and died young (“in the presence of his father in the land of his birth”), probably while Lot was still a little boy (Gen 11:28). Lot’s grandfather Terah raised him after that (Gen 11:31), but later, when Terah grew old in Haran, and Abram left to follow God (Gen 12:4), Lot was transferred to the care of his uncle.

I share this biographical sketch to call attention to the fact that Lot lacked the presence of a father commanding him that he would keep the way of Yahweh in righteousness and justice. He was raised by three different men, and then he ended up on his own as a bachelor in Sodom. Learn from this sad situation! Don’t leave your children and household to suffer the same consequences—ill-guided and aimless, prioritizing possessions and weak in faith. Be the father and husband to them that God intended you to be.

In addition, if it is too late and you have already raised some lonely Lots, follow Abraham’s example as a godly older man. First, he was ready when Lot truly needed him—he ran to his rescue in a big way, literally. Then, Abraham set a personal example of faithfulness that Lot had noticed at some point and later remembered when he received the angelic visitors:

Both of them saw the visitors coming, rose to meet them, and bowed down to the ground

Both of them spoke with respect calling them “Lord” and offering hospitality

Both of them invited the visitors into their home to wash their feet and spend the night

Both of them arranged hasty feasts to lavish their provisions on the visitors

Finally, Lot is doing something noble! Pray that God would use your example to influence your grown children, even when they have gone to live on their own.

3) So that we can imitate God’s character

Now that we have established the significance in the immediate context, I want to wrap up by directing your attention outward in Scripture. This pair of righteousness and justice is a super important theme throughout the Old Testament, and it is used to refer to Yahweh’s way of life—full of peace and love. I bring this to your attention because our text is the original reference, and all the others are based on our text. The idea is that righteousness and justice describe people who are living and leading according to God’s commands.

Let me read a selection of these texts so that you can gain a feel for how pervasive this theme is in the Old Testament:

2S 8:15, the author records, “David was doing justice and righteousness for all his people.”

Job 37:23, Job argues, “The Almighty... will not afflict justice and abundant righteousness.”

Ps 89:14, the psalmist says, “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne;”

Prov 8:20, Lady Wisdom says, “I walk in the path of righteousness, / In the midst of the pathways of justice,”

Eccl 3:16, Solomon mourns, “Furthermore, I have seen under the sun that in the place of justice there is wickedness, and in the place of righteousness there is wickedness.”

Is 16:5, Yahweh prophecies, “ a judge… will seek justice / And be prompt in righteousness.”

Jer 22:3, Yahweh commands, “Do justice and righteousness, and deliver the one who has been robbed from the power of his oppressor.”

Eze 18:27, Yahweh reminds, “Again, when a wicked man turns away from his wickedness which he has done and does justice and righteousness, he will preserve his life.”

Hos 2:19, Yahweh promises, “I will betroth you to Me forever; Indeed, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, In lovingkindness and in compassion,”

Amos 5:24, Yahweh desires, “let justice roll down like waters / And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.”

This is just a small sample of 10 references; there are more than 55 altogether! Obviously, this is very important to Yahweh.

Furthermore, you can search the Greek New Testament for similar references by using these words from the Greek Old Testament (called the Septuagint). If you do that, you might be surprised to find only one verse in the entire New Testament that parallels this dynamic duo from the Old Testament.

Jn 16:8, “And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and [justice] judgment;” [the Greek word for justice / judgment is the same]

In this verse, Jesus is promising his Holy Spirit to the disciples as a gift after he ascends back to heaven. Jesus states that his Holy Spirit’s mission is to exhort (to bring conviction via commands) the world concerning righteousness and justice, and concerning sin where we have failed these. This is incredible! He sent the Holy Spirit to us because he wants us even today to keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice. Nothing has changed; we still serve the same God with the same priorities.

This is a helpful connection because it means that we as fathers have a perfect role model. We are to command our children and households after us in the same way that the Holy Spirit exhorts us personally. Like the Spirit, we must be patient and diligent, interceding on their behalf when they fail. Jesus also sets a perfect example for us as the head of the church—the way he washes us with the water of the Word and commands us to obey him in love is the way we should aim to lead our homes and serve our church.

Conclusion: summing it all up

We started by investigating Yahweh’s declaration that he knew Abraham, and we found that it refers to Abraham’s privilege from God and accountability to God. We also learned that we who love God are also known by God, just as Abraham was. As a result, we are privileged and accountable to God just like he was. Therefore, we must follow his example by commanding our children and households after us, that they keep the way of Yahweh to do righteousness and justice. We have an important role to play in God’s plan for restraining wickedness in society. When we are grieved by the wickedness of our cities and our culture, we need to turn our focus inward and excel still more as fathers and husbands.

Therefore, if you have fallen into slothful negligence or hardened rebellion, as it says in many letters to the churches of Revelation, repent! And do what God requires of you. We need to take charge of our homes and grow them as little oases of righteousness and justice in the midst of a spiritually dry and weary land. This is our privilege and responsibility.