Living through Loss

Intro:

Once again, on behalf of the Family, I want to thank everyone For their prayers, meals, words, encouragement, and help through this difficult time in their lives.

For the next few moments, I want to share on the thought OF, [Living through Loss].

Loss comes to every marriage, Family, friendship, or relationship. Loss is a part of life. It is disheartening when we expect to lose someone, but how do we survive when we’re blindsided by unexpected and tragic loss?

I know the hearts of so many go out to Lewis’s family. We all Find ourselves at a loss of words, for words are a feeble substitute to adequately express the shock and sadness felt by so many.

I’ve discovered when our words Fall short, God’s word will speak to our hearts and help us gain perspective.

Scripture helps so much because God allowed the writers to share the whole story. They did not gloss over what they faced.

One man I felt drawn to as I prepared for this service was David. Something I remember is that he was a real person. He endured trials, tragedies, and turmoil.

Yet through it all, he experienced the Faithfulness of God. It was God’s nearness in difficulties that helped him.

After the past week, including last night’s visitation, much has been said about the life of Lewis. But for this message is for those who are left to learn how to live through loss.

We will look at one of the most tragic events in David’s life and see what he did to learn to live through the loss. I want to look at three things he did— He Remembered, He Relied, and He Renewed.

1. He Reminded Himself

Psalm 56:8 NKJV

8 You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?

David’s faced horrendous losses in life. I wonder what memories Filled David’s mind. Like anyone who loses someone they love, he had to have reminisced about those who were no longer with him.

In Jewish culture, they placed a bottle of tears with the body of their departed loved ones. They did this because they believed that God would see their tears and remember how much they loved them.

God gave us a memory for a reason. After losing someone, it is helpful to remember to good times. To reFlect on what they meant to us.

As I look at Lewis’s family, I know he meant so much to each oF you. Every loved one had a unique relationship with their husband, Father, or grandpa.

After living almost ninety years, it hit me, with the exception of Joyce, very few can remember life without Lewis around.

And aFter sixty-three years of marriage, it is probably hard for Joyce to recall life before a strapping young stud in his twenties knocked on the door to rent a room.

It is vital to remember the songs he played on the guitar.

Or to recal the happy times as a family of five, be it on vacations, having fun around the house, or just being together.

As time goes on, the memories will continue to flow. Family meals, various discussions, conversations about God, or the prayers that were prayed.

Memories of being with Lewis in the garage will become a mainstay, watching or helping him fix something that either needed fixed or working on something just to keep busy.

Joyce mentioned that she had total confidence in Lewis’s ability to do anything. What a testament of an able husband, father, and provider.

In the days, weeks, months, and years, more memories will come back about Lewis.

I recall the memories I have of Lewis. Our church was his final big project. He installed one of our air conditioners. I had not been here long and it was one of my first one-on-one conversations with him.

He kept calling me stud. Before it was over, I felt stronger, more capable, and kind of like a stud. After a while, someone else walked up and he looked at them and called them stud. Then a third person came and they too got called stud. Suddenly, I realized, everyone is stud.

We all have our memories. And at times these memories bring tears to the eye.

David, who knew about loss, wrote:

I imagine David, dealing with loss, thanking God that He remembered the tears of his people. Every tear that has been cried and every tear that will come does not go unnoticed by God.

As each of you remember Lewis, God remembers the heartache you face.

David learned to live through loss by remembering.

2. He Reassured Himself

Psalm 56:9 NKJV

9 When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me.

David was no stranger to loss. In his life he lost:

Members of his family

His son

His close friends

His parents

And to add insult to injury, he had many who were against him. He lived with division and confusion on many fronts.

However, he knew what to do. He reassured himself that God was on His side. He learned to rely on God. One reason he relied so heavily on the Lord is that every time he called on God, He was readily available and willing to help him.

David learned his reliance on God through the plethora of losses he faced. It was through adversity, sadness, and mourning that God revealed His strength and power to him.

After one particular tragic loss, David’s reliance on God shows in what he did.

2 Samuel 12:20 NKJV

20 So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went to his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate.

He had just lost his son and he turned to God, who was always there for him.

Elsewhere, David shows us:

Psalm 34:18–19 NKJV

18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.

He learned to reassure himself that God was more than able to walk him through the process of living through loss.

As each loved one of Lewis learns to live this life—God wants us to remember the good memories, he also wants us to reassure ourselves that He is there for us.

3. He Renewed Himself

Psalm 56:10–11 NKJV

10 In God (I will praise His word), In the Lord (I will praise His word), 11 In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

David was most famous for his Psalms. He possessed a keen ability to find a reason to thank God regardless of his circumstances.

This particular Psalm came from a season of loss, but he concluded his thoughts toward God with giving him PRAISE for all he did.

He understood that something miraculous happens when he focused on the goodness of God in spite of deep loss and sorrow, he looked to God who came and renewed him.

There are times when the grief can seem so unbearable. The pain of loss can seem too difficult to bear. In those moments, focusing on the good God has done will renew the spirit.

Another time when David was surrounded with impossible circumstances:

1 Samuel 30:6 (NKJV)

6 Now David was greatly distressed... But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

He encouraged himself in the Lord.

Every family member is here today because Lewis was a good addition to their lives. The sadness, tears, and sorrow are an example of the place of prominence he held in their lives.

It is a good thing to thank God for what Lewis meant. To give God praise for the good memories. To thank God for the wonderful times together. To thank God for the lessons he passed on to each person. To thank God that your life was blessed and enriched because Lewis Hale was there.

As we take the time to give God thanks, He will renew each heart and give strength to make it day-by-day.

Close:

Today is a day no one planned, but it has arrived. This is the hard part of great love, for it leaves great pain when a loved one has departed.

If I were to bring any good news from the sad situation it is two things, first, God will be with us as we navigate the unchartered territory of sorrow and mourning.

Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”

In the days, weeks, months and even years when sorrow arises, the Lord will help each one to live through the loss.

This includes:

Remembering lewis and trusting that God sees each tear that is shed

Reassuring the mind that God is there and near

Renewing the spirit by giving God thanks for the good that God has been and will continue to be

Second, we can experience God’s love and nearness. God showed His love to this earthy by sending His only Son to die for our sins.

Today, the Love of God can come upon us and take away our sin and prepare us for our time to go home.

This is the help we have when we feel helpless. God will strengthen us, save us and sympathize with us.

Let’s pray.