Gospel-Centered Relationships

Intro:

What is a friend? At its most basic definition, a friend is a person you know well and regard with affection and trust. What is a true friend? What is a faithful friend? A true and faithful friend does not stray away when life gets difficult. A true and faithful friendship reaches to a level of loyalty. For the Christian, friendship takes on a whole new level. It is a level that the unsaved cannot comprehend or achieve. It is a relationship that bonds together through the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ. It centers itself in each persons personal relationship with God. It is the love of Christ, the Word of God, the Spirit of God that enables the Christian to live faithful to ones friends.

Friends are such an important aspect to the individual’s life. Each individual has a friend of some kind. Some friends are closer in relationship than others but none the less a friend. By its basic definition the church is to be friends with each person. We are to stand by and be loyal to one another as one entity. We are to be sharpening and growing each other with the gifts and talents given to us (Ephesians 4:1-3 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace;

Philippians 2:1-4 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.)

Unfortunately, due to sin and our flesh this does not always manifest itself. It is sin and the depravity of our flesh that some friends are good some are bad. Remember the basic definition of friendship…anyone that you know well and regard with affection and trust.

In our text this evening, Paul lays out in 2 Timothy 1:15-18

“15 You are aware of the fact that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes. 16 The Lord grant mercy to the house of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains; 17 but when he was in Rome, he eagerly searched for me and found me— 18 the Lord grant to him to find mercy from the Lord on that day—and you know very well what services he rendered at Ephesus.”

a few traits of what a true, faithful, and gospel-centered friend should look like.

Context:

Before we dive into our text we need to take a brief look at the surrounding text to better understand our text. In the preceding paragraph Paul is encouraging Timothy to not be ashamed of the testimony of the gospel or even the messenger of the gospel. He rather encourages Timothy to join in the suffering for the gospel, which comes by God’s power (2 Timothy 1:8-12)

2 Timothy 1:8–12 (NASB95)

8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, 9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity, 10 but now has been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, 11 for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher. 12 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.

Twice in these verses Paul iterates the action of not being ashamed of the gospel even though the circumstances worked against him and his life was one suffering trial after another.

Our text tonight continues from this discussion and seems to be a type of parenthetical or a living illustration of the importance of not being ashamed of the gospel. It seems to be a parenthetical because the beginning of 2 Timothy 2, Paul goes back to the principle of being faithful to the gospel through three characters; a soldier, an athlete, and a farmer.

The gospel is central to all of it. It seems then that this friendship of Onesiphorus stands on the gospel. It seems that Paul is likening faithfulness to the gospel and faithfulness to himself in Phygelus and Hermogenes. They abandoned Paul along with many others because of his chains. He was in chains because of the gospel. This leads us to our main truth this evening...

Main Truth: The gospel empowers faithful and loyal friendship.

I. A godly friendship consistently encourages others (he oft refreshed).

Explanation

The word Paul uses for refreshed is unique because this is the only time in the entire NT he uses it. The root of the word is the word for life or soul. The prefix for the word refers to

Behind this text lies the fact that Paul was a lover of people and that he had an immense capacity for friendship. (R. Kent Hughes and Bryan Chapell, 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus: To Guard the Deposit, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2000), 186. Onesiphorus is commended in verse 16 for his encouragement to Paul. He had looked for Paul diligently and finally found him. When he found Paul, he encouraged him in the Lord. Paul was discouraged and lonely. Many from the churches in Asia had forsook Paul. Imagine with me for a minute and place yourself in Paul’s circumstance. Paul was imprisoned and most likely never going to be released. He most likely was going to die or be executed. It is here we get a glimpse of Paul’s humanity and God’s mercy and grace. We see God’s providential care for Paul. He impresses on the heart of Onesiphorus to search out Paul and find him and once Paul was found to return multiple times to encourage and life Paul’s soul up in gospel-centered encouragement.

Onesiphorus brought energy and life to Paul. The common bond between these two men was the gospel. Onesiphorus was not ashamed that Paul was in prison for the gospel.

The refreshment and encouragement was more than social or material. It was definitively spiritual in nature. Again the term used for refresh comes from the word for life or soul. We know from Philippians 1:21 “21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” that Paul’s life was the gospel, it was the person of Christ (Philippians 3:10 “10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;”). Onesiphorus new what would encourage Paul. He was consistent and frequent in his encouragement.

Paul in return showed his faithful and loyal friendship by praying for Onesiphorus and his family to receive mercy from the Lord presently (16) and futuristically in the day of judgment (18) when the Lord returns.

Paul in this letter to Timothy exhorts him to follow after the example of Onesiphorus and encourage those other believers around him. He showed kindness to Paul. Paul’s example of Onesiphorus is used as an illustration of the centrality of the gospel. Remember, 2 Timothy 1:8, 12 “8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God; 12 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.) discuss not being ashamed of the gospel but rather share in the suffering of the gospel. Onesiphorus did just this.

In the following paragraph Paul further illustrate the centrality of the gospel to life and his desire to see people saved (2 Timothy 2:10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory). Paul in return for his encouragement and kindness desires for the Lord to be merciful to him and his household. Also in verse 18 prays that Onesiphorus will find the mercy of the Lord in the time of judgement. Are you encouraging in Lord to your friends?

Refutation/Application

What do your friendships look like? How are you in relation to each person in our church family? What do your conversations go like with those in our church family? Those outside our church family? Do you encourage others when you are with them to walk in the spirit of God. Do you challenge him or her to let the Holy Spirit control them? Jonathan and David are a good example of one friend challenging another to be controlled by the spirit and live for God during the easy and hard times of life. As we seek to have a disciple-making culture here at First Baptist Church, it is this organic example of Onesiphorus we need to follow. The bible studies that we are encouraging each person to engage in and some have is for this purpose. It is not to say we have a program but to see each person in the church grow in Christlikeness. We clearly see in our text this morning that gospel-centered encouragement is the bedrock to true refreshment in the Christian life.

I am not saying that every person needs to be every persons best friend. What scripture teaches is that every Christian needs to be living a gospel-centered relationship with every person.

One summer in college, I worked up at Northland Christian Camp as a counselor. Three weeks before camp was done one of the guy counselors found out that his dad had committed suicide. What do say to a person after something like that? All you can say are words of encouragement to live for God and let him know that you are praying for him. I saw this happen to this young man by the entire staff. Two weeks later a father of three staff members was playing basketball with his boys and collapsed on the court and died. Again the staff rallied around them and encouraged them that though they lost their father that God loves them and is in control. It was providing them with gospel-centered encouragement.

This passage shows us the consistency that Onesiphorus refreshed Paul. The proactive nature of Onesiphorus gives us the example of being the active party in seeking to refresh other believers. Often times in our pride and selfishness we begin to complain that no one cares about us. No one has called me or visited with me. No one has checked to see how I am doing. Yes, Christians should be seeking to do that for you. However, what are you doing for others? We must take our eyes off ourselves and place them on others. As we will see in a few moments this was clearly lived by Onesiphorus.

So, are you proactively seeking out and refreshing others as a gospel-centered Christian should?

Why do I need to encourage him or her to keep living for God? God tells us that a companion of fools will be destroyed. If you are a friend who does not challenge his friend to live for the Lord what are you challenging him to do? Proverbs says that a friend is to sharpen his friend (Prov. 17:17). Proverbs also says that a companion of fools will be destroyed. Are you bringing down spiritually those around you? Be like Onesiphorus and encourage others in the Lord. Stop thinking that life is about you. Proverbs describes the person who lives for himself a fool (Pr 28:26 ¶ He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.) What will you do today? The Lord gives us ways in which we can encourage others through his Word to live for him.

List and Explain how this was done at the fellowship Dwight, Grace, and I went to this last week.

Ask how they have been doing in their devotions.

Ask to pray with them on a regular basis

Discuss what both of you have learned from your devotions

Do ministry together. Look for opportunity to minister to others.

Onesiphorus not only consistently refreshed Paul but did it regardless of the circumstances.

II. A godly friendship consistently encourages others in any circumstance.

Explanation

Paul had been deserted by “everyone in the province of Asia” including two men Paul names, Phygellus and Hermogenes. Paul in verse 15 is not literally speaking of every Christian in Asia but rather many or perhaps most. This would include the church in Ephesus that he had spent multiple years with in person ministering with them. Whatever level of desertion that had taken place it was a large number of people. Paul was imprisoned with no hope of release (2 Timothy 4:6-8 “6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; 8 in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.”). He tells even addresses the desertion again to Timothy in 2 Tim 4:10 “10 for Demas, having loved this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica; Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia.” The circumstance we find Paul in was not optimistic or encouraging or safe for anyone looking for him.

Yet, Paul in verse 17 states that Onesiphorus when he was in Rome searched for him “very diligently.” He was eagerly and quickly looking for Paul. Onesiphorus heard of Paul’s imprisonment and though searching for a known criminal, as Paul had been labeled, endangered his own life. Yet this did not stop or slow him down in searching for Paul. Onesiphorus knew the trouble he would go through in searching for Paul and he still openly searched him out and eventually found him.

1 and 2 Timothy and Titus—To Guard the Deposit (Refreshed (vv. 16–18))

Whereas most had recoiled from Paul’s chains, Onesiphorus apparently counted it an honor to return again and again to refresh Paul. It had been dangerous to ask where Paul was. It was dangerous to visit him. It was most dangerous to return again and again. But Onesiphorus was there for Paul, when neither the sun nor the moon shone on his friend. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

1–2 Timothy & Titus The Way of Faithfulness (1:16–18)

By repeatedly visiting him at this time and giving aid, Onesiphorus identified himself closely with this enemy of the state and his illegal religion. It is certainly not exaggerating to say that this friend risked his life in order to help Paul. This is “unashamed” loyalty to the gospel.

Refutation/Application

Two factors are at play here in being a faithful and gospel-centered friend to others. One factor is the circumstance of risk of life and the second factor is identifying those in need.

Paul circumstance made both factors difficult. Christ is the core of the gospel and living that gospel out is living Christ out! Onesiphorus heard of Paul’s struggles some how and then in spite of the difficult circumstance risked his life.

Do you search out and seek your friends when they are in times of trouble? Do you abandon them because it may cause you grief or it is non-beneficial for you? Are you self-oriented friend? Is the gospel the center of your encouragement. No matter the circumstance, what Jesus did for you and others stands as the most amazing nugget of encouragement one can provide. For wrapped in Jesus Christ’s sacrifice is the whole character of God. For Jesus is God! God incarnate who died for the sins of the world. He died in your place and in my place.

You may say to yourself what if I am busy? What about him, he may be too busy? Why do I have to look for him? Does this put me in a tough spot? These are all questions that may go through your mind. These are questions that many of the believers in the province of Asia asked themselves. Paul states that the believers in Asia turned away from him or deserted him after his imprisonment. God commands us to love one another (Matt. 22:39)! How can you search out friends today?

Romans 12: 9-10 (“9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;”) speaks to our love being genuine, holy, and devoted to others. Are you genuine in your love for others? I am not just talking about the ones easy to love. I asking in terms of the church family? Do you seek to encourage others to live holy? Are you as we see Onesiphorus, devoted to others in love and place them before yourself? Do you listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit when to demonstrate acts of love to others. Acts of love open doors to sharing the spiritual truths of God’s Word and sharing God’s character with others.

As you seek to make the gospel the center of all your relationships you will find yourself having more and more of a spiritual burden to make a gospel impact in their life? You become the background and Christ becomes the foreground whereby others become the focus of impact rather than others impacting you. The great truth behind living with the gospel at the center of your interactions and relationships is God uses that to bless and encourage you. Let’s focus as a church family to consistently encourage others in any circumstance in the gospel.

As we do so let us do so in by living unashamed of the gospel and stand firm for the gospel.

III. A godly friendship consistently and unashamedly stands with others for the gospel.

Explanation

Onesiphorus was dedicated to his friend and not ashamed of the state he was in. He did not choose who he would be friends with by what their living conditions were like or how wealthy they were. He just was dedicated to Paul an ministering to him. He was not ashamed that Paul was in prison. Many of the believers around him were unlike Onesiphorus during this time. They abandoned Paul and feared for themselves rather then having faith and ministering to Paul.

We cannot live ashamed of the gospel. We cannot be shy with the gospel and speaking it into people’s lives. We need to be looking and praying for every opportunity to speak the gospel into peoples lives, saved and unsaved. We cannot let life circumstances keep us from living and sharing gospel truth with people. We need to be investing our lives into people even when it may not be easy. Onesiphorus risked his life time and time again to encourage Paul in the gospel. The gospel is our priority and we should be willing to share in the suffering the gospel can bring and will bring.

Again, if you are not investing your life and doing life together with another person for the gospel sake, why not? What is keeping you from seeking another believer out to do life with? God calls us to what Onesiphorus exampled for us! We cannot live ashamed of the gospel. The gospel should be what drives every relationship we have no matter how intimate it may be. It was the gospel that drove Onesiphorus to refresh Paul. Is it driving you this morning?

Are you a dedicated friend? Jonathan was dedicated to David. When David was in time of trouble Jonathan was there to encourage and help him out.

Illustrate concept of dedication: This semester during finals week I felt like there was a bag of bricks on my back. One of the classes I took this semester was philosophy. This class is to this point the hardest class I have taken yet. Some of those philosophers had some strange views about life. Well, the final was worth 200 points and I had to pass the class with a C or else I would have to take it again because it was a required class for my major. I had a C- going into the exam. The days and nights leading up to the final one of my best friends everyday had encouraging and challenging thoughts to give me. I remember specifically being told you will do fine just study hard and trust that God will help you. I knew also that I was being prayed for. This friend was a dedicated friend when it came to a tough time. My friend did this countless times throughout the semester. Pushing me to excel to my fullest potential possible for the Lord.

The dedication Paul mentions of Onesiphorus and for Timothy to live out is so much more important than a final exam. It is the gospel itself. You can be dedicated and do the same thing. All you have to do is be SELFLESS as Onesiphorus was to Paul. In verse 18, we Onesiphorus was more than just a minister to Paul but also faithful to minister to Paul while Paul was ministering in the church in Ephesus. Paul references that Onesiphorus was not ashamed of his chains. This reference often with Paul carries an implication for why Paul was in prison—preaching the gospel. Paul is stating here in this text that Onesiphorus was not ashamed of the gospel. The selfless character of Onesiphorus was driven from a gospel-centered approach to life and his relationships.

Why are you not a selfless person? Are you a selfless person? Or do you find that you are more selfish?

Do you enjoy gospel conversations or do you find yourself felling uncomfortable? How much of your conversations turn toward gospel-centered content? gospel-centered attitude in the conversation? Are you excited to be in a gospel-centered church? How excited do you get every week as Sunday approaches and you know you get to fellowship and worship God with your church family? How excited do you get when a gospel door is opened during the week to speak the gospel into someone’s life?

Paul again is using this example of Onesiphorus for Timothy to understand the importance and top priority of the gospel. It is to be stood for in an unashamed manner!

Results from unashamedly living the gospel are relationships that refresh others spiritually in a consistent manner regardless of the circumstances!

Conclusion

1 and 2 Timothy and Titus—To Guard the Deposit Refreshed (vv. 16–18)

Paul, that lover of souls, that amazing lover of people, whose very heart rate rose and fell with the church—the man who always kept on “praying for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18)—this man sat isolated and lonely in a Roman dungeon for the sake of the gospel. He would exit the cell only when he was led to his death.

And how did the church respond? Tragically, most of the believers in Asia Minor deserted him out of fear. Two of them we know by name.

Timothy must not be like them! Rather, he must stand tall, suffer, and keep the faith—like Onesiphorus who risked his life to find Paul, then refreshed him again and again. He was not ashamed of Paul’s chains.

And what Onesiphorus did for Paul, he actually did to Jesus! What mercy he will see on the day of judgment!

“Timothy, be like him. Stand tall and unashamed.”

The Bible Knowledge Commentary 1:16–18

Onesiphorus, on the other hand, demonstrated the characteristics Paul had been recommending to Timothy—courage, love, self-discipline, boldness, and faithfulness. Clearly the negative and the positive examples were designed to strengthen Timothy’s resolve to be counted among those who were willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with the apostle.

What kind of relationships do you have with others? Is the gospel primary in your relationships? Are you actively looking for more gospel relationships and for those relationships to reach deeper levels?

Are you asking for God to provide redemptive relationships with the unsaved? Though this passage speaks to gospel-centered relationships with believers, the commission God has given to us in Matthew 28:18-20 “18 And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

God has given us the command to live gospel-centered lives seeking to invest in gospel-centered relationships.

What about you?

Are you even seeking to locate believers that you can do life with for life?

If so are you committed to that relationship regardless of the circumstances that will arise and try to shake the relationship as it did to many in Asia toward Paul? Which area are you struggling with?

Are you being proactive and looking for your friend in order to find ways to serve? Are you unashmedly standing firm in the gospel and letting the gospel drive your relationships?

Main Point: The gospel empowers faithful and loyal friendships.