BEYOND THE HURT

Introduction

-I am doing a series entitled LET THE PAST DIE, which is a quote from a movie, but it adequately embraces the idea that Christians all too often hold on to things from the past that prevent them from spiritual growth

-The writer of Hebrews tells us in Hebrews 12:1 that we are to lay aside every weight that prevents us from running with endurance in the race that God has placed before us—which is, our Christian life and walk

-But many Christians are so bogged down by the past that, not only are they not running with endurance, they are not running at all

-And so, letting the past die, is laying aside the weights from the past in order to run free

-Last week I talked about forgiveness that we are to extend toward people who have done something to us, whether or not they seek that forgiveness—God calls us to cancel the debt, never to take it back up again, and we find that it frees us more than it does the one we are forgiving

-Today I want to talk about something that is related to that, yet goes beyond forgiveness, and that is the topic of hurt—most of us have been hurt in some way

~Many times the hurt comes from other people—what they have said, what they have done, or whatever

~Sometimes hurt comes from life circumstances—we suffer disappointment, we suffer loss, we suffer broken dreams, we suffer consequences of ours or other’s choices

-Whatever the case may be, in a fallen world that is cursed, something will cause us emotional or spiritual pain, and even physical pain, and it wounds us and scars us in some manner

-When that happens, yes we need to deal with it, and yes we need to heal from it, and yes we even need time to grieve

~But what I have found in my years of ministry is that there are people who allow the hurt to burrow so far down into their spirit, that it festers and causes them to be spiritually and emotionally and physically unhealthy—which then, in turn, impedes any spiritual growth that God would have for them

-I remember one lady (who is no deceased) who had something happen in her life 30-40 years before I knew her, and the hurt from that incident all those decades before defined the way she looked at life and looked at people and even looked at God

~In fact, that hurt was so much a part of who she was that I’m not sure she would have known how to have an identity apart from the hurt

~So, yes, you could say she turned into the proverbial bitter, old woman

-That’s not healthy and that’s not where God wants you—you’re not going to do God any good on earth when your identity is in your hurt instead of living out of your identity in Christ

-So, there has to be a way to get beyond the hurt so that it doesn’t hinder our spiritual growth—and I think that is found here in Proverbs

-What I’m going to share is not some 4 easy steps to healing, because that’ just not realistic

~I think people sometimes think they can tell a pastor that they’re hurting expecting the pastor to sprinkle some pixie dust and make it all better

~But that’s not reality, and only God can heal your hurt—not pastors or anybody else

-But what I’m hoping is that you will entrust your hurt to God and allow Him to help you move past the hurt so you have a vibrant, victorious walk with Him

Proverbs 3:5–8 ESV

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

-I want to talk about four steps for at least allowing God to help you move beyond the hurt with the hope that healing will happen in the process

I) Lean

-v. 5

-The word TRUST means to rely on someone and to put your full confidence in someone—it’s who you lean upon in times of need

-When someone has difficulty walking they might rely upon or put confidence upon a cane to help them get around without falling; they put their weight on the cane relying on it to keep them up

~but imagine if the middle of the cane had been sawn halfway through; one day while walking along and putting your weight on the cane, the cane will snap, and you would fall on the ground

-What this tells us is that our trust, confidence, and reliance is only as good as the object upon whom we place that trust, confidence, and reliance

-So, Solomon the wise man says to place that trust in the Lord—put your confidence in God—lean upon Jesus in your times of hurt

-This is contrast to human understanding and ingenuity—in the middle of your hurt, don’t think that you have all the answers or that any human has all the answers

~Don’t rely upon man to somehow make your hurt better and get you over the hump of whatever doldrums you find yourself in

-Don’t rely on the person who hurt you to come and apologize—you are making your healing contingent on someone else’s actions that may never come to pass

~And don’t rely on your circumstances changing for you to get over the hurt—your circumstances might not ever change

-Instead, place your confidence in a God who is eternal and all-knowing and everywhere-present

~God who is so much bigger and wiser than us sees the big picture, and we don’t

-David said in Psalm 37:5

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. (Ps. 37:5 ESV)

-And so, in the midst of our hurt we lean on God for strength to get beyond and run the race, and not let our own worldly, finite wisdom determine how we react or how we act

~Sometimes, when we think we know better than God what needs to be done, what we end up doing is getting in God’s way or getting ahead of God

-We have to ask ourselves: although there is suffering on this earth, and I might go through some of it, do I still trust God? Is He still faithful? Is He still able? Yes, He is.

-So instead of leaning on ourselves, leaning on the latest fads, leaning on programs or procedures, we lean on God, and by His strength and knowledge and wisdom He will move us beyond the hurt that have

II) Learn

-v. 6

-The word for acknowledge there comes from the word to know—it is a recognition on our part that God is sovereign over the situation

~That means we recognize that God knows what it is that we are going through and that He cares, and He will not allow His children to go through permanent harm, but He can take the hurt we have and do something with us

-I think of it this way. If I choose to eat an entire 2 lb. bag of peanut M&Ms (which I probably could do) it might not hurt me at the time, but in the long run it is going to harm me (it will harm my teeth and my health, etc.)

~But if I need to go get a shot at the doctor, the shot might hurt at the time, but in the long run it will actually keep me from harm.

-God might allow the hurt, but God will protect us from the harm in the long-run

~Because we know that we can trust God, we are able to acknowledge that He can still work in our lives even in the hurt or through the hurt, because:

we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28 ESV)

-And what does it say happens when we acknowledge God in our hurt? He will make our paths straight—He will clear the road for the race that we are running

~God can take that hurt and use it to actually give us a clear path in the way He wants us to go

-God may not take care of the situation in our time or in the way that we would want Him to, but we still acknowledge He has it under control and we yield to him—we submit to Him in all our ways

-So, we learn to see God’s sovereign hand at work in our lives even in the hurt and know that He will use it for our ultimate good in some way

III) Leave

-v. 7

-This is a call to humility and trust such that we leave the situation in His hands and don’t constantly pick it back up again

-Again, it is about our focus. The more we concentrate on the hurt instead of the Lord, the more likely we are to react in such a way that is not good or healthy

~We are called to fear the Lord and shun evil, but if our eyes are constantly on ourselves and our situation, the more we dwell on wherever the hurt is coming from, the more likely we are to lash out in a way that we ought not

-If the hurt comes from something that someone did or did not do, if you are wise in your own eyes and your mind is concentrated on the situation, the more likely you are to act out in vengeance, either actively or passively

-But we need to leave the hurt with the Lord so we don’t seek vengeance—three times we are told in Scripture that God says VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY

-If we have been wronged and it hurts, we forgive like I talked about last week, and we let God deal with the outcome—if we have truly been wronged, and not just in our own eyes, then God will deal with it in His time and His way

-If it is circumstances, or maybe our plans and dreams have been frustrated, we don’t need to lash out in the situation

~If a door is closed, God closed it. It will not do you any good to try to bust that door down, because if you do you might be doing more evil than good for your life

-So, the best thing to do is to leave the hurt with God and don’t try to pick it back up again, because if you do that just means you think you’re wise in your own eyes, and the more likely you are going to take a course of action which is not good for you to take

IV) Live

-v. 8

-When we lean on God, learn to acknowledge God in the situation, and leave our hurt in His hands, He gives life—God will bring wholeness to our souls when we allow Him to do things in His time and in His way

-Our God is a God that heals

~He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross and rise again to heal the people from the sickness of sin—only when we believe in Jesus Christ will we conquer sin and death

-Similarly, it is only by trusting God and fearing God and acknowledging God that He will bring healing to the flesh

-As long as we continue to choose to let the hurts dominate our lives it will be a weight that we will not be able to get out from under, and we will eventually become the proverbial bitter old person

-When a hurt from 30-40 years ago, or a hurt from 3-4 days ago, dominates our thoughts and time it will lead us to a bitterness of life that is not really living—when our identity is wrapped up in our past hurts and it’s the hurts that control our lives, not God in Christ, that is not living

-Leaning, learning, leaving, and living doesn’t mean that you forget the hurt or even that the hurt is any less painful, but when you release that hurt to God, you are no longer a prisoner—you can actually still live, for Jesus said:

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (Jn. 10:10 ESV)

~But you have to trust Him to get you past the hurt—don’t constantly live it over and over and over and over again

Conclusion

-There’s a story about a 19th century acrobat named Blondin who was famous for doing a tightrope act 160 feet above Niagra Falls. He would do all sorts of things on the tightrope, from doing tricks blindfolded to crossing the tightrope on stilts. One day he asked a man in the crowd, “Do you believe I could take a man across the tightrope in a wheelbarrow?” The man replied, “Yes, I do.” To which Blondin replied, “OK, then hop in.” The man refused. He believed Blondin could do it, but he wasn’t about to trust Blondin to do it.

-We evangelical Christians are good at talking a good talk when it comes to our theology. We say that we believe God is this and God can do that. So, we will say that God can help us get beyond the hurts in our lives, but when it comes down to it, we won’t let go of them because we really don’t trust Him to heal us or help us move on.

-Some of you might be prisoners that need to be set free—come to the altar, lean on God’s strength, learn from God’s ways, leave that hurt with God and see how you can live in freedom

-There are some here still prisoners in sin because they haven’t trusted in Jesus Christ. Jesus died to save you from the penalty and power of your sin. Trust Him with your eternity.