Great Lessons About Christian Friendship

The Book of Romans

Romans 16:1-16

Sermon by Rick Crandall

(Prepared January 24, 2022)

BACKGROUND:

*Please open your Bibles to Romans 16. Here we are in the last chapter of this heaven-sent letter the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write to the Christians in Rome. In the last two chapters, Paul's got very personal about his future plans and his affection for these believers.

*At first glance, today's Scripture may just seem like a long list of names. But here the Bible has some key lessons for us about Christian friendship. Please think about this as we read vs. 1-16.

MESSAGE:

*Think about the closest friends you have ever had. My closest friends include my wonderful wife, my children, and other family members. I thank God so much that I can say that!

*But I have also been blessed by many other good, godly friends, and none more so than you! You have been fantastic friends to our family. And, best of all, we will be friends forever! Let’s look into God's Word and see how He wants us to handle Christian friendship.

1. FIRST: GOD WANTS US TO RECEIVE NEW FRIENDS.

*We see this truth in vs. 1-2, where Paul said:

1. I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea,

2. that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.

*Paul had a close, personal relationship with Phoebe. He knew her well as a spiritual sister, and fellow servant in God's Church. That’s why Paul introduced Phoebe to the Christians in Rome. He wanted them to "receive her," or accept her into the fellowship of their church.

*Phoebe was one of Paul's good friends, and he had many more, because all of his life as a Christian, Paul went around making new friends for Jesus Christ. Some great examples are found in Paul's letter to Philemon. This is the shortest of Paul's letters, and it was written when he was older man. Paul was also a prisoner of Rome, but he was still making new friends, and Paul wrote on behalf of his new friend Onesimus.

*He opened in vs. 1-3 with this greeting to Philemon:

1. Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our beloved friend and fellow laborer,

2. to the beloved Apphia, Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house:

3. Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

*Then in vs. 9-21 Paul said:

9. For love's sake I rather appeal to you being such a one as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ

10. I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains.

11. who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me.

12. I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart,

13. whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel.

14. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.

15. Perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever,

16. no longer as a slave but more than a slave, as a beloved brother, especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

17. If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me.

18. But if he has wronged you or owes you anything, put that on my account.

19. I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self besides.

20. Yes, brother, let me have joy from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in the Lord.

21. Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

*Onesimus was in trouble. Apparently, he was a runaway slave. Maybe he had also stolen from Philemon. People get into all kinds of trouble. Sometimes it’s our own fault. Many times, it’s just the circumstances of life. And Jesus doesn't want us to kick people when they are down. He wants us to help them, just like Paul helped Onesimus here.

*Paul was a trying to be a peacemaker here. He was doing everything he possibly could to bring Onesimus and Philemon back together. In vs. 10, he pleaded with Philemon. In vs. 11, Paul persuaded. In vs. 12, he sent Onesimus home. And in vs. 18-19, Paul even offered to pay the debt. But best of all, Onesimus' life was turned around when Paul led him to the Lord Jesus Christ.

*Paul helped Onesimus, and I doubt anyone else could have helped him like Paul did. God can use us to help other people too, but we have to be willing to receive new friends.

2. THAT'S WHAT GOD WANTS US TO DO. BUT HE ALSO WANTS US TO BE FAITHFUL FRIENDS.

*Again in vs. 1-2 Paul said:

1. I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea,

2. that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.

*Paul commended Phoebe because she had been a faithful friend. How much did Paul trust her? Well, how important do you think this letter was to Paul? It was Paul's God-inspired, love-filled message to the church in Rome. It was extremely important to Paul. And after vs. 27, the KJV contains sort of a P. S. that says: "Written to the Romans from Corinthus, and sent by Phoebe servant of the church at Cenchrea."

*Bible scholars such as John Gill verify the truth of this statement. And it surely would have been delivered by someone with Phoebe's character, so it is highly likely that Paul trusted his faithful friend enough to deliver this letter. (1)

*No wonder Paul wanted the Christians in Rome to receive Phoebe, but also notice that he asked them to "assist her in whatever business she has need of you." The original word for "assist" has the wonderful meaning of standing close by someone to provide them with all the help they need.

*It's the same original word Paul later used in 2 Timothy 4:17 when he said, "The Lord STOOD WITH me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. And I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion." (2)

*Phoebe had certainly assisted many other Christians. We know this because in vs. 2 Paul wrote that "she has been a helper of many and of myself also."

*Phoebe had been a great helper to many people, including Paul. She was someone who cared for other people and helped them with her resources. The original word picture for "helper" or "succourer" in the KJV was a person who was a guardian and protector over other people. So, Phoebe was like a mama bear in the church. "Don't mess with her cubs!"

*Phoebe had stood by many other Christians, and now Paul asked the Roman church to stand by her. That's the kind of faithful friends God wants us to be.

*Let me tell you about one of the countless times God's people stood by me. It happened in 1975, shortly after I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I was 24 years old at the time, and we had joined McClendon Baptist Church in West Monroe.

*A few weeks later I ran into the worst mess I've ever faced. That Thanksgiving we had gone to visit my family in Georgia. Mary and I were going to be baptized the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and my sister was so excited about it that she came back with us for the service.

*When we got home, I found a notice from the Post Office about a package they had tried to deliver. We went to pick it up, and it was a nice book named "The Art Treasures of Nepal."

*The return address was the Happy Lodge in Katmandu, Nepal. Well, the only people I knew with any connection to that part of the world was a friend who had also recently been saved, and his not-so-friendly wife. They had both been Peace Corps volunteers, and by then he ran an import shop downtown.

*He wasn’t there when I went to ask about the book, and she said it didn’t come from them. But she really, really, really wanted to borrow that book. What a mystery. It was a set-up. The book had a very thick, padded cover, and when we got back to the apartment, I noticed that it was mushy, like when you push down on a piece of clay, and it stays down. I got curious enough to cut into the cover, and that’s when I found the black, tarry stuff hidden inside. We thought it was opium, and naturally, we were scared to death.

*When I later talked to my friend, he suggested that I take the book out to the middle of the woods and throw it away. But I didn’t want to do that, because I was afraid the customs people had let it through, waiting to see what we would do with it. Even worse was the fact that somebody knew we had it, and there was no telling what they would do to get it back. I borrowed a gun from a good friend. That night we barricaded ourselves in the bedroom and waited for the worst.

*Finally, the next day I decided that the only thing to do was to turn the book over to the police, and hope they would believe I had nothing to do with it. I was scared to death about what would happen. But I called my new pastor, Bro. Herman Savoie, and he came over to be with us when we talked to the police. Naturally they had a lot of hard questions, most of which I couldn’t answer. But praise the Lord, they believed me!

*It made the front page of the paper a day or two later, but my name wasn’t even mentioned in the story. The headline said, "$25,000 of hash oil had been found by the police." Church: That would be close to $130,000 in today's money!

*One of my police officer friends told me that the word of the discovery got out that Saturday night. He laughed and said, "More dope was flushed down the toilet in Ouachita Parish that night than ever before."

*But here’s the point: At the time I didn’t know Bro. Savoie very well. We probably hadn’t spent over 30 minutes talking to each other. But I called, and he came. When I was scared, he came. When I was in trouble, he came. When I needed help, he came, and he stood by us.

*That's the kind of friends God wants us to be.

3. HE WANTS US TO BE FAITHFUL FRIENDS, AND HE WANTS US TO REMEMBER OUR OLD FRIENDS.

*We can see this truth starting in vs. 3 where Paul wrote, "Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus."

*Paul may have not seen his friends for a long time, but he never forgot them. Over and over in vs. 3-15, Paul tells the Roman church to "greet" this one or that one. Sometimes the KJV says "salute" instead of "greet," but it’s the same word in the original Greek language. And the original word means to "welcome, embrace, greet, salute" someone. The word-picture means "to enfold in the arms." The idea is to give somebody a big hug and receive them joyfully.

*Paul remembered his friends, and in today's Scripture he mentioned 27 people by name. Altogether in this chapter, Paul mentioned 35 different people by name!

*John Phillips explained that "Thirty-five people are named here in Romans 16. Nine were with Paul in Corinth when he wrote, eight men and one woman. Twenty-four were at Rome. That included seventeen men and seven women, who were all affectionately greeted by Paul. There are also two households that are mentioned in Rome, along with some unnamed brothers and two unnamed Christian women." (3)

[1] PAUL REMEMBERED HIS OLD FRIENDS. ONE REASON WHY IS BECAUSE THEY WERE HELPERS.

*As Paul said in vs. 3, "Greet Priscilla and Aquila my fellow workers in Christ Jesus." In vs. 6, "Greet Mary, who labored much for us." In vs. 9, "Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys, my beloved." And in vs. 12, "Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, who have labored in the Lord. Greet the beloved Persis, who labored much in the Lord."

[2] PAUL REMEMBERED HIS OLD FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY WERE HELPERS, AND BECAUSE THEY WERE HEROES.

*We can see their courage in vs. 3-4, where Paul said:

3. Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus,

4. who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.

*More heroic courage shows up in vs. 7 where Paul said, "Greet Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me."

*These verses are a great challenge to me: Andronicus and Junia had gone to jail for the Lord. Priscilla and Aquila had put their own necks on the line to help Paul. And it makes me wonder: Would I be willing to go to prison for the Lord? Would I be willing to lay down my life for the Lord's people? I certainly hope so.

*But what have I laid down for my Christian friends? What have I laid down for Christ? God wants us to be heroes like we see in these verses.

[3] PAUL REMEMBERED HIS OLD FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY WERE HEROES, AND BECAUSE THEY WERE DEAR TO HIS HEART.

*We see this truth in vs. 8-9 where Paul said, "Greet Amplias, my BELOVED in the Lord. Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys, my BELOVED." Again in vs. 12, "Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, who have labored in the Lord. Greet the BELOVED Persis, who labored much in the Lord. And in vs. 16, "Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you."

*Paul remembered his old friends, because they were helpers, because they were heroes, and because they were dear to his heart. Church: That’s the kind of friend God wants us to be! And we must never forget our faithful friends.

4. GOD WANTS US TO REMEMBER OUR OLD FRIENDS. AND HE WANTS US TO REST IN OUR BEST FRIEND.

*God wants us to rest in our best friend, and Christians: There is no doubt that Jesus Christ is our Best Friend! Proverbs 18:24 tells us that "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." That's Jesus Christ! And on the night before he died on the cross, Jesus said this in John 15:13, "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

*We can safely put our complete trust in Jesus Christ, because He proved His friendship forever when He died on the cross for our sins. Ron Hutchcraft explained: "The death Jesus died on the cross wasn't for His sins. He didn't have any. Jesus' death was for my sins and your sins. In those moments of suffering and death on the cross, Jesus took an eternity of suffering and death for us. He did it for love. He did it for His friends. He did it for you." (4)

*Jesus Christ is our best friend because He died on the cross for us. But three days later, Jesus rose again from the dead! And when we open our hearts to let Him in, then by His Holy Spirit He does come in! But Jesus also lets us in, into His Kingdom, into His family, and by His Holy Spirit, even into Himself.

*In 1 Corinthians 12:12-13, God's Word says:

12. For as the body (that is, our physical body) is one and has many members (or parts), but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ.

13. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.

*Church: This is not just symbolic language, but a mysterious, literal, spiritual truth. When we receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are spiritually moved into God. We become a part of the Body of Christ. Our life is "baptized" or totally submerged into the spiritual body of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit of God does this work of putting us into the spiritual body of Christ. And from the moment we believe, we are literally in Christ.

*This truth is so important that phrases like "in Christ," "in Christ Jesus" or "in the Lord" are used almost 100 times in the New Testament. And ten of those times are in today's Scripture. Please look at them with me.

*In vs. 2, Paul asked the Roman Christians to receive Phoebe "IN THE LORD."

*In vs. 3: "Greet Priscilla and Aquila MY FELLOW WORKERS IN CHRIST JESUS."

*In vs. 7: "Greet Andronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my fellow prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, WHO ALSO WERE IN CHRIST BEFORE ME."

*Then seven more times in vs. 8-13:

8. Greet Amplias, MY BELOVED IN THE LORD.

9. Greet Urbanus, OUR FELLOW WORKER IN CHRIST, and Stachys, my beloved.

10. Greet Apelles, APPROVED IN CHRIST. Greet those who are of the household of Aristobulus.

11. Greet Herodion, my kinsman. Greet those who are of the household of Narcissus WHO ARE IN THE LORD.

12. Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, WHO HAVE LABORED IN THE LORD. Greet the beloved Persis, WHO LABORED MUCH IN THE LORD.

13. Greet Rufus, CHOSEN IN THE LORD, and his mother and mine.

*Christians: We are in the Lord! When we receive Jesus, He receives us, and we are in Him.

*Sue Kidd gave this testimony about her three-year-old son, Bobby. In those days, Bobby was afraid of the dark. Sue tried everything she could to help him. She left the light on in the hall. Then she put a night-light in Bobby's room. None of that helped. Bobby was still afraid of the dark. And would cry out in the middle of the night.

*At the time, Sue was pregnant with their second child. And one night as she held Bobby to comfort him, he touched her round belly. Then Bobby asked, "Mama, is it dark inside there where my little brother is?"

*"Yes," his mother replied. "It's dark in there." Bobby thought about that and said, "He doesn't even have a night-light, does he?" "No," Sue responded, "not even a night-light."

*Bobby had one more question that night: "Do you think my brother is scared all by himself in there?" Sue replied, "I don't think so, because he's not really alone. He's inside of me. And it's the same way with you. "When it's dark and you think you're all by yourself, you really aren't. I carry you inside me too, right here in my heart."

*That was the last time Bobby woke up scared, and it gave Sue new insight on her relationship with God. She explained it this way: "First God was only 'up there.' Then God was 'all around.' Next, I began to see that God was also 'in me.' And now, most surprising of all, I found that I am and always will be 'in God.'" (5)

*Christians: We are literally and spiritually in the Lord Jesus Christ right now, and there is not a safer place to be. Keep resting in this wonderful truth that Jesus is our best friend forever.

CONCLUSION:

*How does God want us to handle Christian friendship? He wants us to receive new friends, be faithful friends, remember old friends, and rest in our best friend, Jesus Christ. Let's ask for His help as we go back to God in prayer.

(1) Sources:

-"Notes on the Pauline Subscriptions" - Stylos blog by Pastor Jeff Riddle - http://www.jeffriddle.net/2015/11/notes-on-pauline-subscriptions.html

(2) Sources:

-STRONG'S HEBREW AND GREEK DICTIONARIES - from Strong's Exhaustive Concordance by James Strong, S.T.D., LL.D. - Published in 1890; public domain. - Downloaded to e-Sword by Rick Meyers - Copyright 2000-2019

(3) Adapted from EXPLORING ROMANS by John Phillips, Kregal Publications, Grand Rapids - "How Paul Salutes His Brethren at Rome - Romans 6:3-16 - Downloaded to "Bible Study 6" from Olive Tree Bible Software, Inc.

(4) Adapted from KERUX ILLUSTRATION COLLECTION - ID Number: 9158 - SOURCE: A Word With You By Ron Hutchcraft #3839 - TITLE: The Knife And The Nails - AUTHOR: Ron Hutchcraft - DATE: 9272001

(5) Adapted from WHEN THE HEART WAITS by Sue Monk Kidd - San Francisco: Harper & Row, Publishers, 1990, p. 149 - Source: Sermons.com sermon "Help Me Make It through the Night" - John 3:14-21 - Series: HELP FOR TROUBLED HEARTS