Broken Part 2

Loneliness

Hey Everyone!

Good Evening!

It is great to be with you all tonight!

We are currently in a new series called Broken.

Living in a world where we can be honest instead of hiding behind the word I’m Okay.

This series is about changing the conversation when it comes to our brokenness, loneliness, depression and anxiety.

Last week we kicked off the series by looking at the brokenness of Gideon and we looked hopefully came to this understanding that God loves people despite our brokenness.

And tonight we are going to be talking about loneliness.

And before we go any further there is a difference between being lonely and being alone.

Loneliness refers to the emotional .... the state of feeling rejected and desolate.

Alone refers to the physical… the state of being separated from others.

Loneliness is usually a negative experience… accompanied by feelings of hopelessness.

Alone is meant to be a positive experience… a time of creativity and communion with the Lord.

We see Jesus do this often, where he get away from everyone to be alone to spend time with God.

He was not lonely until everyone abounded him before he died.

I just want to clarify that as that is a time and place to get away and rest and recover.

But tonight we are talking about loneliness and the dangers that comes from pulling away from people and other things.

I remember when I was in high school, I typically found myself at home on a Friday and Saturday night.

I didn’t date anyone and while it seemed like a had friends at school, nobody really wanted to hang out or do anything with me once the weekend hit.

So I would be at home, alone.

While I was thankful for loving parents and family members, I still at time felt very alone and often times rejected.

To be truthful it made me sad and made me ask the question, why doesn’t anyone want to do hangout with me?

Why don’t they accept me?

You see it was lonely and I didn’t care for it.

There was this time where I asked a buddy of mine Scott to get together catch Spider-man 3 and grab some food afterwards

Sounds like an easy, fun time.

They texted me later and said they wouldn’t be able to make it something came up.

No worries, things happen.

I then spent another Friday night at home.

On Monday at school everyone was talking about Spiderman 3, I didn’t get a chance to see it.

One of my other buddies Travis asked me if I saw it, and I said I hadn’t yet.

He responded, on you should have came me some of us on Friday, which also included the Scott.

That stung real good.

And those feelings of rejection and loneliness skyrocketed.

But here’s the deal, I know that many of us have dealt with situations similar to this.

However there is a difference between what I experienced and what you currently experience.

Social Media

Social media was present but it was mostly myspace, Xanga and the early start of Facebook— followed closely behind was Twitter.

Most of social media was done at home and not from our phones.

Apps— were not a thing thing because the I-phone hadn’t been created yet.

Today that same situation could be played out except I would have known about it on Friday night— because I would have seen photos or status updates from my buddies.

This is what you see now isn’t it?

We see others out living their lives and they are doing it without you.

It stings right?

It hurts being left out.

Or maybe you have been in a situation where you moved to a new place and it can be hard to make friends.

Or maybe you find yourself as an outcast, you sit alone at lunch, you don’t see yourself as athletic, attractive, or talented.

And you realize that you can keep putting forth the effort but it is easier to just give up and just try to make it through the school year.

You find that you may have a ton of followers but only a few to zero actual friends.

Loneliness is the common condition of fallen humanity.

It is the painful experience of isolation triggered by one or several factors, including: exclusion or the perception of exclusion from groups, abandonment by a person or family, cultural differences of a feeling or alienation from God.

Loneliness tells us that we are alone and cut off from any hope of meaningful interaction resulting in sadness, hopelessness and sometimes anger.

This is common in our culture.

At your age you are still trying to figure out your identity.

Who really am I?

And whether it is right or wrong you get much of your self-worth from the acceptance of friends and family.

Meaning you don’t feel accepted, you feel abandoned, isolated and alone.

While we may feel this, and there may be many of us in this room that has felt this or is feeling this right now.

Know that you are not alone first and secondly know that God is with you.

And here is the temptation when we feel lonely.

It is to stay lonely.

If we have been here for a long time, it is actually more comforting to be lonely then it is to be with others.

But what if that loneliness is just a hurdle to overcome so that you have a chance to experience the goodness of our savior?

As in what is on the other side of loneliness?

Maybe just maybe God has something for us on the other side?

Loneliness is an obstacle to God’s goodness.

That was the case for Elijah.

If you have your Bibles open to 1 Kings 19.

There was this guy named Elijah.

Elijah was a prophet.

Now if you don’t remember the story of Elijah.

Elijah had show down with 450 prophets of Baal.

Baal was this false god that many people in Isreal had turn too.

Elijah was telling them not to and they needed to follow the one true God.

So he challenged them to a god-off.

The challenge was simple- they each would take a bull and prepare it for a sacrifice but they were not to light it on fire.

They were to call upon their god to bring the fire.

The prophet’s of Baal went first and nothing happened.

MEME

Then Elijah set up his sacrifice.

He also built a trench around the alter.

The trench would hold up to 4 gals of water.

And before he called out to God— he pours 12 gals of water onto his bull and the wood.

Everything was soaking wet.

Then he called out to God.

1 Kings 18:38 ESV

Then the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.

God defeated Baal.

So all the prophets of Baal were killed.

Well you can imagine that this angered the King and his wife Jezebel.

And Jezebel was so angry that she sent a message to Elijah.

1 Kings 19:2 ESV

Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.”

She wants him dead.

This is where we will pick up the story.

1 Kings 19:3–8 ESV

Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.

When we get scared we tend to run and seek out isolation.

Elijah was fearful.

He literally just saw God do a mighty work, yet we seem him fear this lady Jezebel.

He didn’t want to bring anyone with him.

He left his servants behind.

Many times as we are hurt and scared we seek isolation over friendship.

We find that it is easier to be lonely then to be with people.

Elijah did this.

As we read further into the story we see Elijah not wanting to leave the place where he was napping.

He wanted God to take his life.

When we get overwhelmed sometimes our default is to shut down and hide away.

When I was in college, my second semester, I experienced loneliness on a different scale.

I would sleep in my dorm most of the day, I would bail on classes, and I would hardly eat.

Even though I had two great roommates, I still felt really alone.

And it showed.

But what I want you to look at is verse 7-8

1 Kings 19:7–8 ESV

And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.

The Angel of the Lord was pushing him to eat and go on ahead.

To keep moving.

To not stop but to keep on moving forward.

Why?

Because the journey was great.

He was would go and spend 40 days and nights in a cave in Mount Horeb.

I want you to know that some of us process this way.

Some of us need to be alone and want to be alone as we process and deal with grief and a host of other things.

But Elijah was not looking to be alone, rather he was isolating himself.

He didn’t want anyone following him and he was willing to be lonely.

But God kept pushing him to keep moving?

Maybe right now God is nudging you to something that you may not want to do.

He has gotten your attention once and gave you the resources you need to go.

But maybe you had fallen back a sleep.

So now maybe God is waking you up again?

To go to where he would have you go.

You may not understand it.

You may even feel like you have been abandoned.

Look at Elijah even after he got to the mountain.

1 Kings 19:9–10 ESV

There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.”

In our despair we can get a little whiny.

We can get a little woe is me.

We can feel like the world is against us.

And God welcomes those feelings and he want you to come to him with your feelings of hurt.

But where if there was more.

Just maybe God has something for you on the other side of loneliness.

Maybe this loneliness that you are in is just an obstacle to God’s goodness.

Check out what happens to Elijah when he moves from isolation and loneliness to where God wanted him to be.

1 Kings 19:11–12 ESV

And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.

1 Kings 19:13–18 ESV

And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” And the Lord said to him, “Go, return on your way to the wilderness of Damascus. And when you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael to be king over Syria. And Jehu the son of Nimshi you shall anoint to be king over Israel, and Elisha the son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah you shall anoint to be prophet in your place. And the one who escapes from the sword of Hazael shall Jehu put to death, and the one who escapes from the sword of Jehu shall Elisha put to death. Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.”

When Elijah felt lonely and isolated, it was God who showed up and was present with Elijah.

It was his presence that Elijah got to experience.

God came to Elijah not in a powerful almighty way, but in a whisper.

You see in those moments of loneliness, as a believer you are never really alone.

For God is with you every step of the way.

He was with Elijah when he called down fire from heaven.

God was with Elijah when he heard that messenger say— Jezebel is going to kill you.

God was with Elijah as he run and left his servants behind.

He was there to provide food and water to someone who wanted death instead.

Not once but twice.

And when Elijah was at his most vulnerable, and he was isolated, lonely and scared— God showed up in a whisper and he gave him hope.

God told him there was others who would not bow to Baal, and God gave him the greatest gift of all, knowing that he wasn’t alone.

Loved ones, prayer for you durning this series is that you know that you are not alone.

That everyone has stuff they are dealing with.

My hope and my prayer for you is that you do not abandon The God of the universe.

That when times are tough you cling to the Lord.

When things are scary you don’t run to your phone but rather to the Maker.

When things are making you angry don’t run to a dark room and shut the down get onto your knees and ask God for clarity.

When things are lonely don’t turn on the distractions of video games and Netflix, food and sleeping instead turn to the Lord.

No one escapes the feelings of loneliness.

But God allows these things to enter our lives in the desire that we will turn our hearts toward him.

When you are down and out remember to turn to the Father for peace and rest,

Here are also 5 action steps that could help if you feel lonely right now:

5 ACTION STEPS

1. Recognize the Feeling

• Put your thoughts and feelings in writing—possibly in a journal—as a way to determine the source of your loneliness.

2. Realize That Loneliness Won’t Last Forever

• It may seem as though your feelings of loneliness are the only emotions you’ll have for the rest of your life.

Understand that everyone has these feelings from time to time. Your situation is not hopeless.

You will not always feel lonely.

• Remember that no one is truly alone if she has God in her life.

3. Examine Your Coping Styles

• Every person tries to compensate for painful feelings in one way or another.

For example, some become busy to fill the time, some engage in risky behavior to win acceptance and find excitement, and some passively withdraw into an emotional shell.

Talk with your counselor about nonproductive coping styles you may be using that ultimately lead to more isolation.

• Boredom is often a problem when it comes to loneliness.

If you are bored, find a new hobby or activity that keeps you busy.

If your activity involves being outdoors or in a public place, it will also increase your chance of meeting new people who could become your friends.

4. Build on Positive Relationships

• Take steps to build healthy relationships of trust and respect.

• Identify any healthy, positive relationship in your life—even if it’s with an aunt who lives across the country.

Think about what makes that relationship positive and pleasant and pursue deepening the relationship even more.

• Allow this good relationship to boost your confidence in your ability to have meaningful friendships.

This can encourage you to take steps to find and develop new friends.

5. Get Involved

• Join your church youth group, a Bible study, a service organization or club in your school, or a sports team.

• Volunteer.

Volunteering for a community agency is a great way to help others and at the same time engage in meaningful relationships.

• When in a group with other kids, identify the person who looks loneliest and make an effort to befriend that person.

6. Remember How Much God Loves You

• Lonely times can draw you closer to God. He wants His children to depend on Him for everything.

• Ultimately, God is the only One who truly loves us and accepts us unconditionally.

His love and grace are endless, and we can enjoy His company all day every day.

The problem, of course, is that He is invisible, while people who reject you are flesh and blood.

Study the nature of God’s grace, His presence in your life, and His tender care for you.

You may want to memorize verses that will comfort you when you feel particularly lonely.

• Whether you are happy, sad, lonely, angry, or thrilled, you can share your feelings with God. He’s always there for you and with you.

I heard a great quote this week while at our Coverage network conference:

“You can bring your disappointment with God to God.”— Kevin Queen

• Enjoy your relationship with God. He will never leave you and never disappoint you.

(Tim Clinton, Chap Clark, and Joshua Straub, The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Teenagers (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2010), 181–183.)

God love you very much and you leaders love you very much.

I hope that you all know that you have people in your life who care about you and love you.

When you are lonely seek God and he will get you through.

Let’s pray