Secrets - 2 Samuel 11

Introduction

I’ve been wrestling a lot lately with how to cope with people who live double lives. Of course, I realize that all of us are double-tongued at times, and all of us are hypocritical at times. But, I’m talking about people who are important to you, influential in your life, who change or deepen your understanding of God who you discover lives has lived a secret life over a long period of time that outright denies everything you thought them to be and everything they taught you to be. You have someone who challenges you to be a godlier man or a better man, and you feel like it’s God that’s speaking through them. Then, you do discover that they’re living a life that unbelievers don’t even live, and you’re left just wondering, was that really God at work? Was that just my emotions or my attachment to that person? Like, what do I do with that? You have a friend who you followed into church, and now they’ve abandoned church altogether. Like, was that real? Someone taught you about your accountability before God and God’s love toward you, and then you realize that they were living as though they were totally unaccountable and as though God isn’t even real. Is it possible that I couldn’t tell that was real that maybe I can’t tell if any of this is real?

I think of people like Ravi Zacharias. Ravi was an international apologist and the founder of RZIM, which was the world’s largest apologetics ministry. He traveled the globe heralding the goodness and rightness of God. He gently had discussions with academics and young atheists and opposing worldviews to show them that Jesus was the truth and the way. In May of 2020, Ravi died of spinal cancer, and by February 2021, RZIM had to release a statement that an internal investigation showed a pattern of sexual abuse that had spanned years of Ravi’s ministry. His own children were left to confront his secret life, and the young massage therapists that he’d taken advantage of across at least five countries. They were left to deal with the nude images on his phone. They were left to deal with the text messages. They were left to deal his secret life and what it all meant.

God’s Word

So, I ask you: was any of it real? If person was converted through Ravi’s ministry, was it genuine? It’s not just our experiences that leave us wrestling with these questions. You’ll remember that we’ve been looking at David, and what we’ve seen in David to this point has been a man of unimpeachable character, a man that the Bible describes as a man after God’s own heart. But, what we’re going to see today is that TMZ could’ve had a field day with David. There was a secret side to David that was capable of the very worst of things. And, it leaves us wondering: Has any of this been real? It’s going to take us three weeks to fully answer that question.

This morning, what I want us to see the unexpected path of a secret life (headline). I want you to see how David ended up with this darker side, and I want you to see it because you’re capable of it. Some of you have a secret life right now. But, all of you are capable of it. And then, we’re going to keep going over the next three weeks to see if any of David is legit and real.

The “start” of a “secret” life.

2 Sam 11:1-4 “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house.”

David is sitting.

2 Sam 11:1 “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.”

It’s important for us to see how a secret life begins. Sometimes, you read of a pastor having a 20 year affair or of a public figure who has a second family that no one knows of. And, we find ourselves wondering. How did it start? How does someone find themselves there? We can see how by looking at David’s life. We see in David that a secret life of sin starts subtly, not suddenly. It’s a slow progression, not a quick jump. It seems that the narrator of this story is trying to tell us something of the circumstances in verse one. It’s the spring. The weather is good, and it’s a time when conflicts resume. So, we’re told that this is when kings who are in battle go out to battle. Kings weren’t just figure heads. Most of them, like David, became king because they were the greatest of the nation’s warriors. They led their people into battle. But, what does it say about David? “David REMAINED in Jerusalem.” “Remained” means literally “to sit”. In other words, David kept his seat in Jerusalem.

You see, David is at the height of his power and success. He has effectively doubled the size of Israel’s territory at this point. The Ammonites are an annoyance, not a threat. David is left without a real rival for the first time. The treasury is full. His palace towers over his city. He’s got the most feared army in the region. And, David just wants to sit down and enjoy it for a while. You can see the erosion of his zeal, something that can so easily happen as the years pass and we get comfortable. As is often the case, adversity had brought out the best in David, but now success was slowly, subtly lulling David into believing that he could rest on his laurels and that his vigilance was no longer needed. It was convincing him that he wasn’t vulnerable any more. Success was slowly lowering David’s guard.

But, his eyes were wandering.

2 Sam 11:2 “It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful.

And so, David is sitting, and his eyes are wandering. Verse two emphasizes two things. David has nothing to do (one day, he ‘arose from his couch’), and he’s look for something that catches his eye (‘he saw....was very beautiful’). The OT very often highlights how sins’ opportunity enters our minds through our eyes. Genesis 3 says that Eve “SAW that the tree was good for food.” Temptation is tempting because it’s attractive. It’s tempting because it looks like it would make us happier and more fulfilled. So, when you have someone who has lowered their guard, someone who is less zealous and less vigilant than they once were, and suddenly they see a relationship that appears more attractive to them than their current marriage or a financial opportunity that looks like it can solve all of their problems or a pill that can fix all that’s broken inside of them, you’re on the slow, subtle path to a secret life.

And, his decisions are unquestioned.

2 Samuel 11:1-4 “In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem. It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house.”

One final ingredient is needed to start a secret life. You need to eliminate accountability from your life. Notice what David does. The word “sent” functions as one of the most significant words in this passage. It comes up 11 times in chapter 11. But, think about this. If you know much about Joab and David’s relationship, you know that it was a bit of a cagey one. They clashed like brothers because Joab would kind of speak his mind and tell David what he thought of what David was doing. But, where’s Joab? David “sent” him to battle where he was out of the way. In other words, David created distance between himself and Joab so that Joab wouldn’t be able to sound that alarm that what David was thinking was wrong. Then, it says that he “sends” his servants to inquire of her and to get her, and what do they do? They just obey. David has unchecked power and unquestioned authority, something that no sinner can bear without corrupting his own soul.

So, do you see how secret lives start? Do you see the formula? Because it’s life and death that you see it. The formula for a secret life of sin is: Lowered Guard + Attractive Opportunity - Accountable Relationships = Secret Sin. Let me ask you some questions that you can use to diagnose your heart. Are you as zealous as you once were? Are your eyes wandering? Are you creating space between you and those who can hold you accountable?

The “spiral” of “secret” sin.

2 Samuel 11:5-6 “And the woman conceived, and she sent and told David, “I am pregnant.” So David sent word to Joab, “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” And Joab sent Uriah to David.”

David’s delusion that a night with Bathsheba would bring him greater happiness evaporates quickly. Bathsheba’s pregnant. This isn’t going to stay between them after all. David’s immediate reaction reveals what’s in his heart. It’s not repentance; it’s a coverup. Worldly sorrow is worried about getting caught; godly repentance is concerned only with being right before God. “So David sent word to Joab, ‘Send me Uriah the Hittite.”’ Thus, the coverup is initiated. And, what’s a coverup? A coverup is where a secret sin becomes a secret life. It’s where you seek to divide yourself into two different people — private and public. The coverup is when you attempt to cover a secret sin by means of sin. It’s doing whatever is necessary to deceive others into believing you’re not capable of what you actually did. In other words, it’s the beginning of a sin spiral where one leads to another to another and another.

One broken command led to the breaking of every command. The ten commandments are two tablets. On one tablet are all the commandments that have to do with our relationship with God. On the other, are all of the commandments that have to do with our relationships with one another. And, through the coverup, good luck finding one David, the spiritual leader of Israel, the man after God’s own heart, didn’t break. He coveted a man’s wife. He committed adultery with Bathsheba. He sought to have everyone believe a lie by trying to convince them that it was Uriah’s baby. He then murdered Uriah as well as other men who were sent to a disadvantaged battle position. And, stole his wife as the cherry on top. There is an interesting comparisons made for us. David is fighting the Ammonites, but he basically becomes an Ammonite. Gen 19 tells us how the Ammonites came to be. Lots two daughters got him drunk, slept with him, and produced incestuous children. And, his youngest daughter produced a son who became the father of the Ammonites — people who were produced as a result of someone taking advantage of a drunk man. What does David do when Uriah won’t go home to his wife? He tries to get him drunk and take advantage of him. David has himself become as an unbeliever in God. He has lived as though he can manipulate the circumstances of the world. And, that’s what coverups are. That’s what secret lives are. They’re our attempts to become God by manipulating the circumstances and people around us. David’s single sin had spiraled into a practical atheism that anointed himself.

But, think on this, David didn’t just break every command. David hurt every, single person in the story. Had David confessed his sin initially, there would’ve been hurt. Bathsheba would’ve been hurt. Uriah would’ve been hurt. Those who deeply admired David would’ve been hurt. But, they wouldn’t have been destroyed. And, I point that out because you need to understand reality. Some of you have secrets right now, and you’re tempted to cover them up. But, learn from David, the longer a secret goes the more people it hurts and the worse it hurts them. But, think on this. First of all, the whole passage is presented as to show David as being totally responsible. I read that as being a sexual assault of Bathsheba by someone she was unable to resist. So, David takes her dignity, robs her of the joy of her pregnancy, murders her husband, and takes her from her home. Then, there’s Uriah himself. He’s shown to be the more honorable man throughout and he was a converted Hittite. He’s cheated on, lied to, manipulated, and murdered. There’s Joab. You can read in verse 25 that David knows he has to comfort Joab. Joab is complicit in the murder of good men that he was responsible for. And, Joab was one of the best. He was one of the 30 mighty men like Joab. They’d fought together. Yea, Joab’s walking away with wounds here. And, that’s not even to mention the servants and messengers who had to participate against their will in the coverup who would’ve become disillusioned and let down by their hero of the faith.

You see, the longer a secret goes the more people it hurts and the worse it hurts them. Your secret isn’t just hurting you. And, your coverup isn’t for others good. Coverups compound like interest. Secret sins spiral into secret lives that destroys everyone around you. I remember reading in the news about a baby that was killed by a stray bullet. The dad was involved in a drug deal that went bad, and the dealers in the other car were shooting at him. But, it was his son that paid the price. That’s the picture. A lot of marriages and families and friendships are being destroyed by the shrapnel of sin. Stop the secrets today. End the secret life today. Repent.

The “sight” of a “sovereign” God.

2 Sam 11:27 “And when the mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.”

You see, the most important sentence of this devastating passage is the last one “But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.” It shows the foolishness of everything that was written before it. “Displeased the LORD” could more literally be translated “evil in the eyes of the LORD.” Do you see what God is saying? “I see, David. You may have covered your naked self with fig leaves, but I can see. I know the truth. Everyone else may still have a high opinion of you, but I see.” There’s never been a coverup that God hasn’t seen through. A secret life is a figment of our imaginations, really. Because, before God, there are no secrets.

The realization is terrifying on one hand, but it’s freeing on the other. It’s terrifying because it means that whether it’s in this life or the next, we will be held accountable for every secret sin. It doesn’t matter who we send away. It doesn’t matter if we convince everyone right here, right now that we’re great. The seeing eyes of the Lord have not missed a single offense.

But, it can be freeing, too. There’s no use in me keeping secrets any more. In fact, David is a lesson to us on how badly we all need the mercy of God. If David can’t do it, I surely can’t. But, there was One greater than David who has come, and He invites you to bring all of your secrets and all of your skeletons and all of your coverups so that you might repent of them and be saved from them. You can be free. He already knows; so, come to him that He might set you free.