The New Testament Concept of Divorce and Remarriage

Some sermons are delivered with a lighthearted smile. Some with a forceful determination. Others with a desire to instruct and encourage. This, however, is delivered with a sigh, and for many reasons.

This sermon was prepared and delivered with a heavy heart. It is not easy to address a plague in our society that has reached epidemic proportions.

But closing our eyes and wishing it will go away isn’t the answer. Not is it best just to scream and shout against it. Cancerous tumors don’t need band-aids.

Divorce is occurring – even in homes where both partners are professing believers. The divorce statistics today indicate that there are just as many divorces occurring in Christian homes as there are in non-Christian homes, if not more.

Often in spite of good counsel, prayer by friends, and even against the desire of one of the partners, divorce still occurs. And very few are given any help from the Scriptures as they struggle against the strong currents of guilt, depression, public put-downs and rejection by fellow church members. We unfortunately have the sad reputation of being an organization that shoots its wounded.

This message holds out hope for many who have been “shot.” My prayer is that you will listen to all the message before making any snap judgments. You need to understand that the content of this message was developed after many years of study, of analyzing every point of view and interpretation of the Bible’s teaching concerning divorce and remarriage.

I know this, that for the past 17 years, since I first delivered this message, I have had peace within myself, with God, and the innocent victims of divorce. From this message and the years of study and ministry experience that lead up to it, I have shaped an entire philosophy of ministry regarding my own, and my church’s response to the divorced and the remarried individuals who make up our church and community.

I pray you will hear God’s voice, above all others in this matter. You’ll be encouraged to know God is fresh out of band-aids.

Before we read Matthew 19 this evening, you need to know that there are many other New Testament passages that deal with this same subject. Each one sheds a different light on the subject of divorce and remarriage. For example,

Matthew 5:31-32 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Mark 10:2-12, The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.3 And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”5 And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.6 “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’7 ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,8 ‘and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”10 In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.11 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.12 “And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Luke 16:18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Romans 7:1-6 Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? 2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.4 Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another— to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God.5 For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death.6 But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter.

1 Corinthians 7:10-17 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches.

Matthew 19:1-9

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.2 And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’5 “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?6 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.9 “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Now the geographical location of our Lord is not of importance to us tonight, except to place this Decalogue in its proper context. Remember that it comes on the heals of Jesus’ teaching concerning forgiveness. I believe it is no coincidence that this occasion is recorded for us immediately following Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness.

DIVORCE IS NOT A PART OF GOD’S ORIGINAL BLUEPRINT

It should come to no one’s surprise that divorce was never a part of God’s original blueprint for the home. This is assumed in Genesis 2:24 (Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.) This verse teaches the permanence of the marriage bond. But Jesus clarified it even further in Matthew 19:8 when he said, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

The original plan was that one man and one woman would be permanently united in marriage throughout life. This was a perfect plan given in man’s perfect, sinless state. However, when Adam and Eve sinned, the consequences of their rebellion impacted everything and everyone. Nothing under heaven was exempt, not even marriage. Husbands and wives became selfish, demanding, brutal, unfaithful, angry, hateful, and competitive. Conflict replaced harmony. Thus, because of the stubborn, rebellious will of sinful people, even God’s people, divorce was permitted although it was not a part of God’s original desire or design for marriage. In fact, His perfect plan is still the preferred plan. He has not changed His mind about marriage. He still desires that a couple marry “til death do they part.”

WHEN IS IT ACCEPTABLE TO DIVORCE AND REMARRY?

But the question most of you want to know is when is it acceptable to divorce and remarry? My short answer to that question is, “Whenever divorce is permissible, it is also permissible to remarry.” In other words, if the Bible makes allowance for divorce, then at those times, it is also allowable to remarry. I was somewhat surprised that old Doctor J. Vernon McGee, held this same view. I am quoting just one statement from his famous “Thru the Bible Commentary,” as he spoke on this selfsame chapter and subject. Listen to what he says. “Divorce was granted for the purpose of permitting the innocent party to remarry.” [1]

So when is it biblically permissible for a believer to remarry without it being considered sin? I believe there are at least three solid biblical grounds for divorce, and thus remarriage.

First, when the marriage and the divorce occur prior to salvation!

Go with me to a verse we all should know, 2 Corinthians 5:17. It is not a verse specifically on divorce or remarriage. But it is a powerful statement about the state of a new believer.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

The key term here is the word, “new.” The Greek term in this instance means that which is new qualitatively, not new in time. New in quality, new in form, new in substance is the idea. The idea here is that a person, at the moment of salvation, becomes a brand new unused, fresh creation at the moment of salvation.

By God’s grace, the old life with all of its old characteristics and flaws, its imperfections and sins are removed. The new person in Christ is totally and completely forgiven and his or her past sins are remembered no more!

If that sounds too extreme for you then you need to read Ephesians 2:1-7 again.

1 And you He made alive,who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others. 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),

The point is divorce is not the only sin not covered by the blood of Jesus. If we believe differently, or behave differently toward those who have experienced divorce, then we should wipe the pages of our bibles that contain Psalm 103:10-12.

10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,

Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,

So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

12 As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

So what have I said? I said that if non-Christians divorced for even unbiblical reasons and therefore sinned, but later became Christians, then the bible says 2 Cor. 5:17, that God has forgiven them of all their sins, including divorce. God’s superabundant grace is sufficient to cover a multitude of sins, even divorce.

In short, when divorce occurs prior to salvation, God grants His “new creation” the freedom to remarry. That very truth should be liberating to many of you!

Second, divorce and remarriage are permissible in the case of an immoral and unrepentant partner.

Back in Matthew 19, the Pharisees asked Jesus if it is, “lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all,” v. 3. Jesus responded by reaffirming God’s original design of permanence in marriage. In other words, He went back to the ideal, the blueprint.

This answer leads the Pharisees to ask a second question in verse 7. They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” Jesus’ answer is clear. Look at verse 8. He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Then Jesus clarifies what He is saying even further in verse 9, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

The Greek word here for immorality or fornication is porneia from which we get our word porno, porn, or pornography. Throughout the New Testament it is used to describe illicit sexual activity. It is a very broad and general term used to cover a wide array of sexual indecencies, thus sexual immorality is a good interpretation.

Here Jesus certainly has in mind immoral sexual misconduct on the part of one spouse against the other. And very importantly, the grammar used here indicates a sustained unwillingness to remain faithful. A one-time failure, as horrible as it may be, is not what is in view here.

Jesus is saying that divorce and remarriage are permissible when one’s mate is guilty of sexual immorality and is unwilling to repent and live faithfully with his or her marriage partner. One more important truth here, and please listen. Jesus is not commanding, or commending divorce in such cases. He is only saying that is a permissible option.

Third, divorce and remarriage is permissible when there is desertion by an unbeliever

Open your bible to 1 Corinthians 7:12-15,

12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

Here Paul is giving sound advice on mixed marriages, the wedding together of a Christian and a non-Christian.

First, we are told that if a believer and an unbeliever are married and the unbeliever desires to remain married, then, the believer is obligated to keep his or her marriage vows. But if the non-Christian voluntarily walks out, or deserts his marriage partner, then the Christian is “not under bondage,” in such cases.

In other words, the Christian partner is not expected to remained tied to a marriage in which the commitment to the marriage vow has been broken. The Christian marriage partner is free to divorce and marry again without being held responsible.

Summary

No Christian should aggressively seek the dissolution of his or her marriage. Some of the very best things God has to teach His children are learned while working through marital difficulties.

John Stott once said that divorce is a divine concession to human weakness. If so, then God in conceding to human weakness has allowed, not commanded, that a divorced Christian has the freedom to remarry, but only “in the Lord.” (1 Cor. 7:39).

[1]J. Vernon McGee, Thru the Bible commentary [computer file], electronic ed., Logos Library System, (Nashville: Thomas Nelson) 1997, c1981 by J. Vernon McGee.

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