The Beauty in Family Life
The Beauty in Family Life I Peter 3:1-7
Peter speaks here of Submissiveness, Adornment, True Beauty, and being Heirs Together.
In his commentary on I Peter, JND Kelly writes: “As with slaves, Peter’s attitude is conservative, and he gives no hint that he regards the relative status of husbands and wives radically altered by Christianity: “In the same way…be subject to your husbands.” The opening words are not intended to equate the submissiveness, due from wives with that expected from slaves. Rather, as in V.7 the Gk. Word goes back to 2:13, implying that the patriarchal principle of the subordination of the wife to her husband is not a matter of human convention, but the order which the Creator has established. It applies equally, Peter acknowledges, when the husband is a pagan. He makes it plain in V.7 that both sexes share without differentiation in the blessedness of the new life which God bestows, just as Paul affirms that at the spiritual level distinctions of sex have been abolished for those who have put on Christ.”
As with Paul’s writings in Eph. 5 & Col. 3, Peter gives instructions for family life. He began with the slaves, because slaves were seen as part of the family. Wives are singled out for mention first because the order is an ascending one (slaves, wives, husbands, the community generally.) The reason on the greater length to women and slaves is because there were more slaves and women who were Christians. The greater proportions of the Asian congregations were slaves and women. Peter points out that we all share the same status in Christ. His primary reason for women to be in submission to their husbands is that they may be won over without a word to the Lord by the wives behavior.
Chrysostom said, “Action carries more weight than speech.”
Augustine said of his mother: “She served her husband as her master, and did all she could to win him for You, speaking to him of You by her conduct, by which you made her beautiful…finally, when her husband was at the end of his earthly span, she gained him for You.”
This patriarchal principle is not a matter of human design, but rather the order which the Creator has established it.
Survey Says: Women Are Spiritually Stronger
Women are more religious than men on a variety of measures, says new data from the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey, conducted by the Pew Research Center's Forum on Religion & Public Life.
Results from the survey showed that 86 percent of women are affiliated with a religion, compared to 79 percent of men. When the answer to the question, "Do you believe in God or a universal spirit?" was affirmative, survey participants were then asked: "Are you absolutely certain, fairly certain, not too certain, or not at all certain?" Women were absolutely certain of God or a universal spirit (at 77%) and men were 65 percent certain of the same.
Those who believe in God were subsequently asked: "Which comes closest to your view of God? — God is a person with whom people can have a relationship or God is an impersonal Force?" Response showed that 58 percent of the women have belief in a personal God compared to 45 percent of the men.
Further data revealed that 66 percent of women compared to 49 percent of men pray at least daily; 63 percent of women compared to 49 percent of men say religion is very important in their lives; and 44 percent of the women attend worship services at least weekly compared to 34 percent of the men.
2. observe (Same word found in 2:12.) It suggests observing for a continuous period, perhaps also reflecting about what they see. In the mystery religions of the day this word involved the ‘privileged glimpse of the cult objects to which the higher initiates were admitted.’ So by their chaste conduct the pagan husbands would get a glimpse of who Christ was. Thye would see His real beauty.
3–4. Whose adorning (Gr kosmos) means to refer to the beauty or attractiveness which these husbands will see in their wives. The sense is, “Make sure your primary beauty is found in your heart and not merely in your clothes and jewelry.”
These verses should not be twisted to condemn the use of cosmetics or jewelry; they merely emphasize that, as far as God is concerned, it is more important to have a meek and quiet spirit.
Peter’s intent was not to ‘ban’ these things but rather to encourage ‘a proper sense of values.’ It was Clement of Alexandria and Tertullian who said there should be “A wholesale ban on feminine finery.”
5-6. The final test of conduct is whether it wins divine approval.
I Sam. 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
“When God looks at us, friend, He looks at us from the inside. He is an interior decorator. He always checks the interior. Samuel looks at this well-built, handsome young man and feels this must be God’s choice for the next king of Israel. But God says to Samuel, “I don’t want you to look at his outward appearance. Don’t judge a man by his looks. Let me select the man this time. I will choose the king.” God sees the heart, and thank God for that. We are so apt to judge folk, even in Christian circles, by their looks, by their pocketbook, by their status symbol—the Cadillac they drive, by the home they live in, or by the position they occupy. God never judges anyone on that basis. He is telling Samuel not to pay any attention to the outward appearance. God is going to look at the heart.” (JV McGee)
7. Likewise. This is the same word which was used in 3:1 to refer back to 3:18 and 3:13; by it Peter introduces the third specific group to which he applies the principle of humility.
The use of this word implies that the husbands are also to be “subject” in the social institution of marriage which is in view here; the Greek word for subjection is not used but the idea is understood as now applying to husbands, just as it did to servants and wives.
In what sense can husbands “be subject” in marriage? Certainly, they cannot be subject to their wives for that would contradict 3:1–6. In a marriage, someone has to be the head of the home; it cannot be a fifty-fifty split of authority, and democracy will not work here since the vote would be tied. The husband is the leader, and yet he must also submit in humility, not to his wife, but to the good of the marriage.
Vessel. Body (skeuos, gk.) Weaker is implied in strength. While she may be inferior in strength, the woman is equal to the man in the realm of grace. Spiritually, we all stand on level ground.
Marriage is made on three different planes. (JV McGee)
The first is the physical plane, and that is important. It is the thing which the world talks about a great deal, the sexual relationship. It is a wonderful thing to have a wife whom you can put your arms around and love. Between two believers, sex can become the most precious, most beautiful, most wonderful thing there is in this world. It is my conviction that believers are the only ones who can really enjoy the physical relationship to the fullest. There is no question that the physical relationship is a wonderful thing.
The second plane in a marriage is the mental or psychological relationship, which is also very important. It is nice when the husband and wife enjoy doing the same things, have things in common and share the same interests.
The third plane in a marriage is the spiritual relationship, and this applies to a marriage between two believers. When problems and trouble and sorrow and suffering come, a husband and wife should be able to kneel down, come to God in prayer, and meet around the Word of God together.
You can break the other two ties, but “… a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Eccl. 4:12). When you have all three, you have a wonderful marriage.
The first two cords can break, but if the third one will hold, the marriage will hold. However, when the third one is broken with the others, the marriage has gone down the tube. I have to admit it, there is very little hope for a marriage like that.