Selecting Reverse in Order to Move Forward

Introduction (5m)

What are some of the things your parents used to say that you now say to your children/grandchildren even though you swore you never would?

Don’t pull that face. If the wind changes, you’ll stay like that! If your sister jumped off a cliff, would you do it too? What part of “no” don’t you understand? Because I said so. Close the door! Were you born in a barn? There are starving children in Africa who would give their right arm for your dinner!

Proves the huge influence our family has on our lives

Fallen world means that influence is both good and bad.

Patterns:

Mistrust of authority

Unstable relationships

Addictive behaviour

Divorce

Alcoholism

Sexual or physical abuse

Our history has shaped our current lives in a big way

The cost of ignoring the impact of our past on our present life is costly. At times, it can leave us emotionally unhealthy, stuck and unable to move forward. Can you break the cycle?

Explanation (5m)

Yes you can because God determines your future

The gospel tells us your biological family does not determine your future. Your past is not your ultimate destiny. And when it comes to families, Jesus said this in a truly shocking way:

Mark 3:33–35 NLT

Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he looked at those around him and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

Picture the Scene - Capernaum

Performed many miracles. / Huge crowds > torn hole in house roof to get to him. / Even greater crowds. / Desperate mixture: Disciples, hanging on every word. Scribes and Pharisees, listening carefully, ready to trip him up. And at the back, on the edge, his family. Nervous. Hoping to lure him away back to Nazareth so he could be protected from his madness.

Message was passed from the back

Many in the crowd knew the message by the time it got to Jesus: ‘Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you”. / Everyone expected Jesus to stop what he was doing and go to see them. Instead:

Are you shocked?

Time and culture - family sacred. / Whispers and murmurs. / Mary = crushed. / Brothers = defeated/angry.

What did Jesus mean?

Did he mean you should sever all family ties? Cross - mother > John.

What he was saying is that there is a new family, far superior to the human family

It’s his eternal family. / The family of God. / Its ties are stronger. / It is more satisfying. / It is far more demanding. / Discipleship is the putting off of the sinful patterns and habits we have picked up from our families, and being transformed, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to live as members of the family of God.

Application (5m)

Being a Christian doesn't erase the past

Becoming Christian / adoption in to God’s family / name “Christian” does not erase past. / Don’t forget. / God doesn’t do emergency brain surgery. / Forgives past, but does not erase it. / Given new start. / But it is a process. / Begin as spiritual babies. / We have to die to ourselves / take up our crosses daily.

The key to being in God’s family is obedience

Still have to deal with the parts of your lives that are not yet sanctified and holy. / Have to bend them to his will.

Root out weakness and sin

Discipleship must include honest reflection on both positive and negative affect from our family. / It’s hard work. / Studies show: Selfish families > selfish people. Alcoholic parent > alcoholic children. Negativity > unproductive/discouraged. Habitual problems go way back, but we can be the people to make better choices and break the negative family influences. / Recognise influence and make conscious decision, with God’s help, to create a new, positive heritage. You have to select reverse in order to move forward.

All families are broken and faulty

Every family is touched by sin, because we are all touched by sin. / Likely that some things that did hurt us as children - criticism, rejection - result of what was handed to your parents by their parents rather than a reflection of the love they had for you.

You may be sitting there thinking, if I don’t look at this stuff, it will just go away

It won’t. / You know that if you expose an unhealed wound to the air, there is a risk that it will become infected. / An unhealed emotional wound is an entry point for Satan to grow a habitual sin in you.

If we do this hard work, we will find freedom

Freedom to make our own choices: I will keep this good thing my family taught me. / I will get rid of the negative pattern I’ve picked up from my family.

It's never finished

This work is never finished. / I am still working through the affect my family has on me as a person. / We will never fully grasp what is beneath the surface of who we are, what we think and what we do. / We need to go back, whenever we find ourselves stuck, and unable to go forward.

Are you stuck this morning?

Are you willing to go back, with the HS, to look at your past and how your family has shaped you, and then to find the way forward? / Are you willing to obey God’s commands rather than what your family may have taught you? / If you are, then let’s pray together:

Next Steps

Prayer

Lord, We believe you are a God with great purposes. You placed us into our particular families in a particular place in a particular time in history. We don't see what you see, but we ask you to show us, Lord, the revelation and purposes you have for us in your decisions. Lord, we do not want to betray or be ungrateful for what was given to us. Yet at the same time, help us discern what we need to let go of from our past and what our essential discipleship issues are in the present that must be addressed. Grant us courage; grant us wisdom to learn from the past but not be crippled by it. And may we be a blessing to our earthly families, spiritual family, and the world at large. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Positivity on the way!

I hope this morning hasn’t left you depressed. / It’s hard work. / But the good news is that God determines your future. / Your past is not your ultimate destiny.

We also acknowledge families are not all bad

Some of the legacies they leave us - perhaps the majority - are positive. / They are things we want to embrace as gifts to us. / And we will look at some of those next time.