The One Part 1: 1 Corinthians 13:4

Introduction:

Attention:

Question; don’t raise hand

First date preparations…?

Cookout/list of questions

This series = prepare for dating

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (Love/Weddings)

Need:

Most want to date/get married

Need to prepare

Best to wait until after high school (but not legalistic)

Behavior = hard to control

If you don’t, mind might change/embrace virtues (help others)

Perfect stage to become the type of person you’d like to date

Body:

Explanation:

The Big Idea: Prepare Your Behavior for Dating

The Question: What behaviors should you prepare for dating?

Patience

1 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT)

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

Q. Why is this the first thing that Paul includes in the list?

Relational patience

Opposite of short-tempered

Love’s self-restraint

Q. Where do we see this modeled by God in the Gospel?

Patient with sin through Christ

Q. How is patience in this way important for dating?

You will be upset; how respond?

Does not mean to ignore or to never break up; but rather to simply not act our of instinct

Patience is essential for the dating process

Finding “the one”

In the dating relationship: with each other + with purity

Patience is also essential for marriage

Focus on becoming more patient; dividends

Illustration:

Samie’s patience towards me

Leaving the kitchen cabinets open

Did she ignore it? No. But was she graceful? Absolutely.

Don’t ignore offences; but be purposeful

Application:

Good at patience?

Focus on this more than on dating

Set standard for yourself and future partner

Explanation:

The Big Idea: Prepare Your Behavior for Dating

The Question: What behaviors should you prepare for dating?

2. Kindness

1 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT)

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

Question: How are patience and kindness similar? How are they different?

A. Both are related to behavior, but kindness has more to do with how you treat people specifically (you can treat people kindly without being patient)

Kindness = common theme at ESM

Only occurrence of word in NT (Paul may have coined it)

Can also be translated “good”

How you treat people

Are you good to people?

How you treat friends, but also how you treat others

Can’t be kind to a stranger = not ready to date

Can’t be loving if not kind

Q. How do you see the kindness of God in the Gospel?

Treated well through Jesus)

Focus on treating EVERYONE well; prepare for future of treating one person well

Illustration:

Reason it took me so long to find Samie

Matthew

Had to develop (youth pastor)

Application:

Developing in kindness?

Treating other the way you want to be treated? (Luke 6:31)

Marriage = lifestyle of kindness. Get ready for it!

Explanation:

The Big Idea: Prepare Your Behavior for Dating

The Question: What behaviors should you prepare for dating?

3. Humility

1 Corinthians 13:4 (NLT)

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

Q. Why are we putting three things in the category of humility?

A. Jealousy, boastfulness, and pride are all the opposite of humility

One at a time

Jealousy: “Jealousy and envy begin when admiration and desire turn to resentment of others for what they have.”

Good to recognize good of others; what you do with it

“Love is not displeased with the success of others .”

Celebrate victories

Q. Why is that important for a dating/marriage relationship?

A. Not in competition with each other: one unit; celebrate each other

Boast; root word = Windbag (don’t be a windbag!

“Bragging without foundation”

Doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the good that God is doing in you

Don’t exalt yourself

Q. Why is this important for a dating/marriage relationship?

A. Marriage is selfless

Proud

Q. Difference between boasting and pride?

A. Boasting = form of pride

Arrogance

But not self hatred: “Pride reproaches other images of God. Self-hatred reproaches oneself as the image of God.”

Uphold image of God in self and others

Both important in dating/marriage: don’t look down on partner OR yourself

Balance

All of this: GOSPEL

Q. How do you see humility at play in the Gospel?

A. Jesus’ humanity

Illustration:

Humility through rejection

Application:

Practicing humility?

How struggle?

What do?

Opportunity to brag: turn it down

Don’t belittle self, but don’t exalt yourself either

Conclusion

Visualization:

Gear up and get ready for whatever God has in store for you

Reiteration:

Don’t just pursue dating; prepare for dating.