Intimacy Study

Intimacy

Synopsis

Close relationships are part of God’s will for human life. Scripture speaks of intimate relationships between Jesus Christ and the Father, between God and his people, and between various individuals.

Jesus Christ’s intimate relationship with his Father

Mt 11:27

Matthew 11:27 (NRSV) — 27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

See also Mt 3:17; Jn 5:20; Jn 10:30; Jn 10:38; Jn 14:10–11; Jn 17:21

Matthew 3:17 (NRSV) — 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.”

John 5:20 (NRSV) — 20 The Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing; and he will show him greater works than these, so that you will be astonished.

John 10:30 (NRSV) — 30 The Father and I are one.”

John 10:38 (NRSV) — 38 But if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, so that you may know and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.”

John 14:10–11 (NRSV) — 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves.

John 17:21 (NRSV) — 21 that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

God’s intimate relationship with his people

Jn 17:3 “know” speaks of close personal relationship rather than theoretical or academic knowledge.

John 17:3 (NRSV) — 3 And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

See also 2 Ch 7:15–16; Ps 148:14; Ho 6:6; Jn 14:21; Jn 15:4; Jn 15:15

2 Chronicles 7:15–16 (NRSV) — 15 Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place. 16 For now I have chosen and consecrated this house so that my name may be there forever; my eyes and my heart will be there for all time.

Psalm 148:14 (NRSV) — 14 He has raised up a horn for his people, praise for all his faithful, for the people of Israel who are close to him. Praise the Lord!

Hosea 6:6 (NRSV) — 6 For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

John 14:21 (NRSV) — 21 They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.”

John 15:4 (NRSV) — 4 Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me.

John 15:15 (NRSV) — 15 I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.

Images of God’s desire for intimacy with his people

God as a father

Je 31:9

Jeremiah 31:9 (NRSV) — 9 With weeping they shall come, and with consolations I will lead them back, I will let them walk by brooks of water, in a straight path in which they shall not stumble; for I have become a father to Israel, and Ephraim is my firstborn.

See also Ps 103:13; Je 31:20; Ho 11:1–4; Ro 8:15; 1 Jn 3:1

Psalm 103:13 (NRSV) — 13 As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion for those who fear him.

Jeremiah 31:20 (NRSV) — 20 Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he the child I delight in? As often as I speak against him, I still remember him. Therefore I am deeply moved for him; I will surely have mercy on him, says the Lord.

Hosea 11:1–4 (NRSV) — 1 When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. 2 The more I called them, the more they went from me; they kept sacrificing to the Baals, and offering incense to idols. 3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk, I took them up in my arms; but they did not know that I healed them. 4 I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.

Romans 8:15 (NRSV) — 15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!”

1 John 3:1 (NRSV) — 1 See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

God as a husband

Is 62:5

Isaiah 62:5 (NRSV) — 5 For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your builder marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

See also Is 54:4–8; Je 3:14; Ho 2:19; Eph 5:25–27; Re 19:7; Re 21:2

Isaiah 54:4–8 (NRSV) — 4 Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more. 5 For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. 6 For the Lord has called you like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, like the wife of a man’s youth when she is cast off, says your God. 7 For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great compassion I will gather you. 8 In overflowing wrath for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you, says the Lord, your Redeemer.

Jeremiah 3:14 (NRSV) — 14 Return, O faithless children, says the Lord, for I am your master; I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion.

Hosea 2:19 (NRSV) — 19 And I will take you for my wife forever; I will take you for my wife in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy.

Ephesians 5:25–27 (NRSV) — 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, 27 so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish.

Revelation 19:7 (NRSV) — 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready;

Revelation 21:2 (NRSV) — 2 And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

Intimate relationships between men and women

As God’s good purpose

Ge 2:18

Genesis 2:18 (NRSV) — 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.”

See also Ge 1:27–28; Ge 2:24; Mt 19:5; 1 Co 6:16; Eph 5:28; Eph 5:31; 1 Ti 4:3–4

Genesis 1:27–28 (NRSV) — 27 So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.”

Genesis 2:24 (NRSV) — 24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Matthew 19:5 (NRSV) — 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?

1 Corinthians 6:16 (NRSV) — 16 Do you not know that whoever is united to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For it is said, “The two shall be one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:28 (NRSV) — 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:31 (NRSV) — 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

1 Timothy 4:3–4 (NRSV) — 3 They forbid marriage and demand abstinence from foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, provided it is received with thanksgiving;

Examples of such close relationships

Jacob and Rachel:

Ge 29:20; Ge 29:30

Genesis 29:20 (NRSV) — 20 So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.

Genesis 29:30 (NRSV) — 30 So Jacob went in to Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. He served Laban for another seven years.

Ru 4:13 Boaz and Ruth

Ruth 4:13 (NRSV) — 13 So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. When they came together, the Lord made her conceive, and she bore a son.

Elkanah and Hannah:

1 Sa 1:5; 1 Sa 1:8

1 Samuel 1:5 (NRSV) — 5 but to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb.

1 Samuel 1:8 (NRSV) — 8 Her husband Elkanah said to her, “Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?”

Es 2:17 Xerxes and Esther; So 1:15–16 Solomon and his beloved

Esther 2:17 (NRSV) — 17 the king loved Esther more than all the other women; of all the virgins she won his favor and devotion, so that he set the royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti.

Song of Solomon 1:15–16 (NRSV) — 15 Ah, you are beautiful, my love; ah, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. 16 Ah, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly lovely. Our couch is green;

Intimacy in other relationships

Close friendships commended

Pr 18:24

Proverbs 18:24 (NRSV) — 24 Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one’s nearest kin.

See also Pr 17:17; Pr 27:10; Ec 4:9–12; Jn 15:13

Proverbs 17:17 (NRSV) — 17 A friend loves at all times, and kinsfolk are born to share adversity.

Proverbs 27:10 (NRSV) — 10 Do not forsake your friend or the friend of your parent; do not go to the house of your kindred in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is nearby than kindred who are far away.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NRSV) — 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though one might prevail against another, two will withstand one. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.

John 15:13 (NRSV) — 13 No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Examples of close friendships

David and Jonathan:

1 Sa 18:1; 1 Sa 18:3

1 Samuel 18:1 (NRSV) — 1 When David had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

1 Samuel 18:3 (NRSV) — 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

Elijah and Elisha:

2 Ki 2:2; 2 Ki 2:4

2 Kings 2:2 (NRSV) — 2 Elijah said to Elisha, “Stay here; for the Lord has sent me as far as Bethel.” But Elisha said, “As the Lord lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they went down to Bethel.

2 Kings 2:4 (NRSV) — 4 Elijah said to him, “Elisha, stay here; for the Lord has sent me to Jericho.” But he said, “As the Lord lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” So they came to Jericho.

2 Ti 1:16 Paul and Onesiphorus

2 Timothy 1:16 (NRSV) — 16 May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chain;

Examples of intimate family relationships

Ge 37:3 Jacob and his son Joseph; Ru 1:16 Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi; 2 Sa 18:33 David and his son Absalom

Genesis 37:3 (NRSV) — 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children, because he was the son of his old age; and he had made him a long robe with sleeves.

Ruth 1:16 (NRSV) — 16 But Ruth said, “Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

2 Samuel 18:33 (NRSV) — 33 The king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept; and as he went, he said, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”