Broken Part 3
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In The Valley
In The Valley
ME
Hey Everyone!
Good Evening!
It is great to be with you all tonight!
We are currently in a new series called Broken.
Living in a world where we can be honest instead of hiding behind the word I’m Okay.
This series is about changing the conversation when it comes to our brokenness, loneliness, depression and anxiety.
Two weeks ago we kicked off the series by looking at the brokenness of Gideon and we hopefully came to this understanding that God loves people despite our brokenness.
Last week week talked about Loneliness.
We talked about how your generation the Generation of Gen Z, is the most connected generation of all time, yet it is the loneliest generation of all time.
But there is hope because as we discussed loneliness is just an obstacle to God’s goodness.
So, tonight we are going to be talking about depression.
The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Teenagers 2 Definitions and Key Thoughts
Depression is defined as feelings of dejection and hopelessness that last for more than two weeks. While everyone has a bad day from time to time, individuals struggling with depression often experience changes in eating and sleeping habits, as well as agitation, irritability, and restlessness. Depressed people generally lack energy and find little pleasure in activities they once enjoyed, such as playing sports or hanging out with friends.
For some I understand that this will hit home for you.
For others this may help as you know friends or family who deal with depression.
and for others you may be thinking that this has nothing to do with you, which cannot be further from the truth.
I can tell you today that I have never had to deal with my own depression.
But what I can tell you is that I have had people in my life that have and I have had a front row seat to a lot of it.
You see depression can effect anybody regardless of gender, social background, income, or race.
Teenage girls report suffering from depression more then teenage boys.
Why because teenage age boys are less likely to seek help or recognize that they suffer from depression.
Girls are encouraged to express their feelings while boys are not.
This doesn’t make it right, this is just a fact that I am sharing with you tonight.
It is entirely normal for young people to experience “the blues” occasionally.
The teen years are full of changes— physical, social, and emotional.
While I am not a doctor or a counselor.
Here are some signs to look for if they last longer then two weeks, again because, every gets down.
That does not mean that you are depressed.
It could just mean you a had a bad day or even a bad week.
But here are some signs:
The Quick-Reference Guide to Counseling Teenagers 4 Wise Counsel
• poor performance in school
• withdrawal from friends and activities
• sadness and hopelessness
• lack of enthusiasm, energy, or motivation
• anger and rage
• overreaction to criticism
• feelings of being unable to satisfy ideals
• poor self-esteem or guilt
• indecision, lack of concentration, or forgetfulness
• restlessness and agitation
• changes in eating or sleeping patterns
• substance abuse
• problems with authority
• suicidal thoughts or actions
Suicidal thoughts tend to come with depression.
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death in teens.
Accidents (car, overdosing, and other unfortunate accidents)— is number 1
In these cases the teen believes that their situation is completely hopeless.
On twitter the #depressionfeelslike is one where those who are in the battle of depression share with others what it is like.
Here is some of their tweets.
Here is just a photo girls on the dock:
#depressionfeelslike your stuck in quicksand, slowly drowning but only enough to see the world doing just fine without you. "I'm Fine." is the biggest lie we can tell but look closer into the eyes. Aren't they the windows to our soul? They can speak when we can't. @Hayley McGregor
Charlotte ER Like the worst day of your life, every single day. It feels like everything’s falling apart and worthless even if it’s not.
Heather Eyre A distance between you and the world. You cannot see any tangible future, so there is a feeling of hopelessness.
Sarah French Being surrounded by people that love you and say they want to help, yet feeling terrifyingly alone and lost.
Katie Prieto I think JK Rowling has it right. The dementors are such a great image, its like a creature sucking out the best and happy memories whilst telling you you’re rubbish and making you relive the bad. It then uses the bad as an attack against your self esteem to make you believe you don’t deserve better. Eventually you just become numb and disconnected.
Depression isnt always about suicide. Moslty its about wanting to just… not, anymore. and then eventually getting up and doing it anyway over and over again.
Last one: Ellen Moore It feels like your downing but no one can see, and the ones that can see shout “just swim!”
I hope that you begin to understand what depression looks like.
That maybe you have never experienced it but you can empathize and show compassion to those who do.
Now as I have been researching and reading a lot on the subject of depression, one word keeps coming back to me.
We have already mentioned it a handful of times since I began.
Anyone have a guess of what was a common tread?
Hopelessness.
To have no hope.
I think that is what has stuck out to me the most.
That feeling of hopelessness.
Saying that I’m fine to the basic question of how are you?
We believe that it has become better to fake it, to not burden others, to just stuff it all down… and just say— i’m fine.
Because if we were truly honest with each other— we would stop asking that question.
How are you?
Because we may actually get a response that we don’t know what to do with.
But don’t worry we can keep asking it because we are not a place to be open and transparent.
No we would rather lie and hide what is really going on so we whisper— “I’m fine.”
When we are not.
This of course is not limited to depression, but also brokenness and loneliness and spoiler alert next week with anxiety.
I believe that depression is a medical condition that should be treated by a medical professional.
I want you to hear that from me first and for most.
If you think you may be suffering from depression, come talk to me or to one of your leaders.
We want to get you the help that you may need.
While I do believe that it is medical condition, I do also believe that God is our great physician and is able to heal.
And the main point tonight if you will is that:
Depression will leave you hopeless,But Christ give you hope.
Depression will leave you hopeless,But Christ give you hope.
The whole idea of the Gospel is that hope came to earth.
I understand that for some here, this may not sound good enough.
That is seems so childish that this is the answer.
That Jesus is answer to my depression.
What if He was?
What if your understanding of the gospel is limited?
What if you believed that Jesus could give you hope in a hopeless world?
Or maybe you are thinking, Jesus doesn’t care about me and my issues.
I have been praying for years for him to take these demons from me and feel more hopeless now then ever before.
Like we talked about last week, what if depression is in your life for a reason right now?
What if everything that you are experiencing is for God to show his glory through it?
We all understand that this life was not designed to be easy.
I mean we were, but Adam and Eve didn’t understand the assignment and through their pride and disobedience brought sin into the world.
And even with Christ, we know that life is going to be bring about pain, and suffering, it is going to be hard, and people they are not going to be for you.
But even on your worse days.
And some of you may be having a lot of worse days.
Know that you can go to someone who understands it all.
Let’s look at Hebrews 4:15-16
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
I am not saying that depression is a sin, please hear me.
But We serve a great high priest who understands and knows exactly what you are going through.
You see the high priest meant everything to the Jewish community.
They were in high regard.
We serve a King who understanding and is able to sympathize with our weaknesses.
I think we get this idea in our minds that God could never understand what I am going through.
He is God and I am not— there is no way he could understand me.
You guys ever have those thoughts about your parents?
Like they were born and they were stored in a box or something until they had you.
Never experiencing life or making mistake or anything like that?
Like you have parents that can’t possibility understand what you are going through?
You ever have those moments where you realize that your parents were kids once.
I love hearing my dad telling me stories about him growing up:
He told me how he would run away from the chickens they had growing up because they would peck at him just ruthlessly.
He told me about how at the age of 12 he was driving on the backroads in Wyoming because his parents weren’t really present.
He shared me the time that he lost his grandpa and how sad and upset he was.
He told me the story about how he was so nervous to ask my mom to marry him, that he practically forced her to go swimming with him just so he could pick her up and pop the question.
I remember having this realization that my father is someone who could relate to me.
Even though we grew in different town and in a different era— feelings don’t change much.
So let me put it to you this way:
Do you believe Christ can relate to you?
No matter where you are at?
Let me show you some places where we can relate to Christ.
Have you ever been frustrated?
So was Jesus:
And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”
Anyone here ever been tired?
Jesus knows that too:
Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.
Have you ever been upset at the passing of a loved one?
Yeah so was Jesus:
And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
Have you ever been disappointed?
Jesus did too:
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!
Jesus knew about rejection
After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.
Jesus knew about sorrow
Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.”
Jesus knew about being ridiculed:
And they were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him.
Jesus knew what it was like to be lonely:
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Jesus know what you are dealing with.
Which then gives new means to verses like Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Or how about Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved.
SO WHEN YOU GO TO GOD, Because you got burdens, you are lonely, you are broken, you are depressed and hopeless.
He may asks you how are you my child?
AND You don’t have to respond with I’m okay.
Because you have a loving, caring, compassionate, and relatable savior who knows what you are going through.
And He will never leave you or abandon you.
He wants you to bring your burdens.
Because you know what he wants to give you?
REST
PEACE
You see Jesus will meet us in our hurt, the only problem is we believe that the King of the universe doesn’t want to hear from me and that is the furtherest thing from the truth.
It is a lie. It’s a lie, It’s a lie.
Stop believing it because if God didn’t want you he would have never sent Jesus to save you.
And Jesus would have never said come to everyone— bring me your garage, bring me your hurts, your habits, your hangups and I will give you rest.
The process of overcoming depression may take time, but we can be sure that God is with us every step of the way!
He will support, and encourage and love us— even when we feel alone and hopeless.
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
As we wrap up here I want to give you some action steps like last week:
Here they are:
Keep seeking Christ
Watch your physical health
Research shows that thirty minutes of moderate daily exercise is very helpful in elevating mood. Try to set aside time every day to exercise in some way—bike, run, swim, walk, play a sport. Ask a friend to work out with you—it makes it harder to avoid the activity if someone is waiting to do it with you.
Have a routine medical checkup and work with a doctor or dietitian to develop a diet program. Better eating habits (for example, less sugar and more vitamins) can be a big help.
Make sure you are getting adequate sleep (preferably going to sleep before midnight). Poor sleep patterns can sap your energy and fuel a negative mindset.
Tackle the Root of Your Depression
Try to think about what situation(s) might be behind your feelings of depression. Take some time to examine why you feel this way. Are you stressed, overwhelmed, discouraged, isolated?
If you have recently suffered a significant loss, acknowledge the loss and allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself permission to feel upset but also find ways to come back to the light, recognizing both the pain of the loss and the opportunity for future happiness in Christ.
Carry a “daily mood log” and record times when you feel most depressed, what is happening when you feel this way, and what you are thinking at these times.
Get Social Support
Choose not to isolate yourself. When you feel depression coming on, call a friend. Work on building solid relationships with other people who will help build you up; choose to be with them rather than giving in to the down feeling.
Get involved in a small group or Bible study at your church. Seek out people with whom you can be honest about your struggles.
Learn to laugh. Don’t take life too seriously! Schedule time with the specific purpose in mind of having fun, and make sure you’re not setting unrealistic performance expectations for yourself.
Reframe Your Thinking
Use Scripture to challenge your negative statements and beliefs. For example, if your thought is, I’m totally worthless; I have nothing to give anyone, meditate on passages such as Psalm 139. Use biblical truth to reformulate your view of yourself as a precious child of God—bought with the blood of Jesus Christ!
During the next week, write down ten things you like about yourself, with at least three of them being physical characteristics. Choose to rejoice in the unique way that God has created you, rather than comparing yourself to other people.
Pay Attention to Spiritual Issues
Do you have any unconfessed sin that may be promoting a negative mindset? Are you bound by guilt and shame over your sin? Christ died for your sin and has promised to forgive you if you believe in Him. Confess your sin to God and trust that He will keep His promise (see 1 John 1:9).
Do you need to forgive someone else for something he did to you? Forgiving, even if the other person doesn’t admit his wrong, is a means of moving toward personal health.
Think about the motivations of your life. Are they grounded in your desire to have a stronger connection with Christ? When we are motivated by something other than our love for God, frustration and depression can ensue.
I would love to be a place where anyone and everyone can come and feel welcomed and loved.
Can you imagine if the next time you had the question, how are you doing?
That the person actually meant it?
That is what I want— that is what I’m going to do— And I know that your leaders are committed the same way.
Depression may leave you hopeless, but Christ gives us hope.
The hope is in him and his sacrifice.
He is a great and mighty savior who can not only relate with but sees you and invited you to lay down your burden.
If tonight you have some burdens to lay down, I invite you to lay them down.
Give it up to God and allow Him to walk you through it.
Worship team you guys can make your way up here, and I would love to just pray for you.
***And if every eye closed and every head bowed, I would like to just ask if you have a burden in your life that is sucking the life out of you and you want to give this over to God, will you stand up?
Okay I want to pray for you guys but I want to invite those around you to just reach out and put their hand on you and to just pray for you first.
If you are around someone who is standing up— they need you to pray for them right now.
We don’t need to know the details but we can sure pray to the one who knows it all.
Let’s pray for our brother and sisters in Christ and in a few moments I’ll come and close our time.