Session One: The Biblical Basis for Marriage (Part 1)

One of the commonly quoted verses in all of Scripture is 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Although it is commonly quoted, it is often used as an after thought rather than a foundational belief. Petrus van Mastricht says, “The highest goal is the glory of God, and naturally so, because for this we were made (Isa. 43:7), for this we were remade and born again (1 Cor. 6:20), and for this we are called by the gospel (Matt. 5:16).” (Petrus van Mastricht, Theoretical-Practical Theology vol. 1, 109-110)

Our goals for premarital counseling are:

To have a biblical understanding of marriage (foundation)

To glorify God through your marriage (branch)

To understand your respective roles (branch)

To provide you the tools for God-glorying, spouse-edifying communication and conflict resolution (branch)

To utilize your marriage as a “gospel tract” (Newcomer, branch)

As we think about marriage, we must go back to the beginning and develop a foundation of marriage from the Bible.

Old Testament Foundations for Marriage Before the Fall

I. Man and Woman are both image bearers of God- Gen. 1:26-27

II. Man and Woman were called to be representative rulers for God- Gen. 1:28-29

III. Man was given a special role as leader- Gen. 2:15-17, 18-20

IV. Marriage was to be for life between one man and one woman- Gen. 2:24-25

* Exclusive- “leave father and mother”

Intense- “hold fast to his wife”

Unity- “become one flesh”

Intimacy- “both were naked and were not ashamed”

V. Implications for Marriage Today

Equality in value, different roles and responsibilities

Man’s role as leader and protector of his home

Marriage is more important than my desires, my goals

Old Testament Examples of Marital Problems After the Fall

Adam and Eve- pre-fall (Gen. 3:1-7)

Polygyny- Lamech (Gen. 4:19)

Divorce (Deut. 24:1-4, cf. Matt. 19:3-9)

Adultery (2 Sam. 11)

Homosexuality (Gen. 19)

Dilution of Gender Distinctions (Onan, Gen. 38:8-10; Jezebel, 1 Kings 21)

All of these are distortions to God’s original ideal for marriage. Proverbs 4:23 teaches us the method by which we can guard our hearts against these sinful practices and thoughts.

How?

Homework Assignments

In preparation for our next session, work through each question. Follow the instructions regarding the readings and answer to the best of your ability. Bring these questions back and be prepared to discuss them at the next session.

Our goals for premarital counseling are:

To have a biblical understanding of marriage (foundation)

To glorify God through your marriage (branch)

To understand your respective roles (branch)

To provide you the tools for God-glorying, spouse-edifying communication and conflict resolution (branch)

To utilize your marriage as a “gospel tract” (Newcomer, branch)

Read through the passages in Genesis chapters 1-2. In light of our goals for premarital counseling, how does having a biblical understanding of marriage help you glorify God?

What do the passages in Genesis 1-2 tell us about the roles and responsibilities of each spouse? What about the husband? What about the wife?

How does understanding each spouse’s respective roles help or hinder a marriage?

Read chapter one of When Sinners Say “I Do” and answer the following questions:

What are the five reasons offered by the people attending the hypothetical wedding? (Pages 18-19)

Fill in the blank in this statement: “What we believe about __________ determines the quality of our marriage.”

Dave Harvey talks about lining up the buttons on your shirt from the bottom up. What is the first “button” he mentions? (Page 22)

Fill in the blank:

“The Foundation of Your Marriage— The ___________”

“The Fountain of Your Marriage— The _____________”

“The Focus of Your Marriage— The ____________ _____ _________”