Forgivenss: Philemon Study
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Welcome
Welcome
Good Morning Friends.
I’m Pastor Joe Vivian. I am the Associate Pastor for children and Families here at Eastern Hills. Welcome to our Family Worship.
Thank you Praise Band for preparing our hearts this morning.
I want to also welcome all those joining us this morning online.
Great having you join us.
I have a couple of announcements to make this morning.
-First is a new position we are taking resumes for: Director of Online Media.
On November 14, 2021, the church voted to create a new staff position called the Director of Online Media. The Director of Online Media position is a 20 hour per week paid ($18/hr) part-time role on the church staff for managing our church online presence, including the church website, streaming platform, and social media channels. The Director of Online Media must be a member of EHBC, be technologically savvy, and have good communication and organizational skills. Church members who believe they fit the qualifications and who would like to be considered for this position are invited to submit their resumes to the church office or email to joe@ehbc.org. Resumes will be taken until Sunday, February 27, after which interviews will be scheduled, if necessary.
-Second is the Official Total from our Lottie Moon Christmas Offering…ya ready?
Praise God and thank you church family for your generous heart.
Let’s get started, shall we?
Intro/Scripture
Intro/Scripture
This morning we will begin a 3 part study in the book of Philemon. Please open up your Bibles to the book of Philemon.
It’s a short letter parked between Titus and Hebrews. For most of us, it’s one page in our entire Bible.
I will share this study with our other 2 Associate Pastors on staff. Pastor Trevor and Pastor Rich.
We will focus on the formula that I’ve shared in previous messages that I gleaned from our own, Barb Mulvey:
Forgiveness + Repentance = Reconciliation.
Friends, that’s the Gospel.
This is the shortest letter written by Paul, yet so powerful.
See, Paul’s letter to Philemon is unique in many ways. For one thing, it is Paul’s only letter that does not focus on teaching.
In Philemon Paul wrote as an advocate rather than as a teacher.
For another thing, in nearly every other letter, Paul directly appealed to his apostolic authority commanding that things be done as he ordered.
But in Philemon, he explicitly chose not to command his friend, but to approach him as a co-worker for the gospel, and to ask him for a favor.
And besides this, Philemon is Paul’s most personal letter, expressing his deep concern both for Onesimus and Philemon, and making requests based on their friendship.
Let’s go ahead and stand as we read the entire book of Philemon together.
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother: To Philemon our dear friend and coworker,
2 to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your home.
3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
4 I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers,
5 because I hear of your love for all the saints and the faith that you have in the Lord Jesus.
6 I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ.
7 For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right,
9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus,
10 appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I became his father while I was in chains.
11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me.
12 I am sending him back to you—I am sending my very own heart.
13 I wanted to keep him with me, so that in my imprisonment for the gospel he might serve me in your place.
14 But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent, so that your good deed might not be out of obligation, but of your own free will.
15 For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently,
16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would me.
18 And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.
19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—not to mention to you that you owe me even your very self.
20 Yes, brother, may I benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.
21 Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.
22 Meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, since I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you.
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings, and so do
24 Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers.
25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
Let’s pray...
Prayer
Prayer
You may be seated.
Foundation
Foundation
Friends, I have the privilege of sharing on the first part of the formula, Forgiveness.
Remember,
Forgiveness + Repentance = Reconciliation.
Before I lay a foundation of key individuals in this letter and it’s background, I need each of you to write something down. If you have your
Bibles open to Philemon, then you can write this in the margin of this letter. If you have a notebook, then in it, or even on the bulletin in your hand.
Have you ever had conflict with another person?
Not just a disagreement, but something that tore apart a relationship?
This is what I want you to write. Take a moment and write down that person’s name.
Did you write it down? Good, we’ll come back to that later. Let’s get started.
Like I stated earlier, this is the shortest letter written by Paul. Before we can get into our study, I would like to introduce the two main people that Paul is writing to and about.
Philemon, in which this letter is named and Onesimus.
Philemon
Philemon
Let’s start with Philemon.
Who is Philemon?
Let’s start with his current place of residence.
Philemon’s hometown is not mentioned in Paul’s letter to him, but Colossians 4:9 indicates that Philemon’s slave Onesimus was a resident of Colosse. Consider Paul’s words there:
9 He is coming with Onesimus, a faithful and dearly loved brother, who is one of you. They will tell you about everything here.
Since Onesimus lived with his master Philemon at the time Colossians was written, Philemon must also have lived in Colosse.
Colosse was a fairly small city situated in the Lycus Valley near the towns of Laodicea and Hierapolis. The Lycus Valley lay in the region of Phrygia within the Roman province of Asia, known in modern times as Asia Minor.
Philemon himself appears to have been actively involved in ministering to other believers in Colosse. For instance, in Philemon 7, Paul spoke of the way Philemon had lovingly refreshed the hearts of other believers. Paul thought so highly of Philemon that in verse 17 he spoke of Philemon as his partner in gospel ministry. And it may even be that in verse 2 Paul identified Philemon as the host of the local church.
But beyond this, Philemon seems to have had a significant history with Paul that formed a strong bond between the men. Consider Paul’s reminder to Philemon in Philemon 1:19:
19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—not to mention to you that you owe me even your very self.
In all likelihood, Paul meant that he had brought Philemon to faith, although it is also possible that he had literally saved Philemon’s life in some other way. But whatever the case, Philemon owed Paul a great debt.
We can also see the strength of their relationship in Philemon’s prayers for Paul’s release from prison, and in Paul’s plan to lodge with Philemon after being released from prison. We read Paul’s words to this effect in Philemon 22:
22 Meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, since I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you.
The Bible does not explain how Paul came to know Philemon. But it does say that Paul traveled through Phrygia during his second and third missionary journeys. But as we have seen, Paul was not familiar with the churches in the Lycus Valley. The truth is we don’t know how Paul and Philemon became friends. But we can say with confidence that they knew each other very well.
Onesimus
Onesimus
Now Onesimus.
According to Philemon 16, Onesimus was Philemon’s slave, although it is unclear what kind of slave he was and in what specific capacity he served Philemon.
In the Roman Empire during the first century, slavery was extremely common. As much as one-third of the Empire’s population consisted of various sorts of slaves. Slaves were typically owned by wealthier individuals, and their status depended largely on that of their owners.
Some Roman slaves were uneducated and performed menial tasks, but others were educated — some highly so — and served in ways commensurate to their education. They could be household managers, accountants, tutors, or almost anything else that was needed.
And although it was generally preferable to be free than enslaved, it is worth noting that more than a few poor individuals voluntarily sold themselves into slavery in order to obtain the security of daily food and shelter. And we know from historical records that in the early church, some Christians sold themselves into slavery in order to raise money for beneficences such as feeding the poor.
Generally speaking, the rights of masters over their slaves were not absolute. Roman law allowed slaves to earn money and own property, including other slaves, and even to purchase their own freedom from their masters. And beyond these rights, many slaves were manumitted, that is, given their freedom, when they turned thirty years old, even though this practice was not mandated by law.
Because Onesimus was Philemon’s slave, he was a member of Philemon’s household. But unlike his master, Onesimus was not a believer, at least not initially. But after Onesimus left Philemon’s household to seek Paul’s help, the apostle led him to faith in Christ and grew to love him greatly. Paul expressed his love for Onesimus in Philemon 10-16, writing:
I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains… [He] is my very heart … He is very dear to me (Philemon 10-16).
Paul referred to Onesimus as his “son” because he had brought him to faith in Christ and because he had developed a fatherly love for him.
In addition to these two main figures, Paul also mentioned a number of other Colossians in his letter to Philemon, including Apphia, Archippus and Epaphras. Each of these people also had a relationship with Philemon. Paul probably mentioned them with the expectation that they would serve as familiar witnesses and help him in his appeal to Philemon on Onesimus’ behalf.
Friends, this letter written by Paul It is a letter urging grace and forgiveness, reconciliation and renewed relationship between these two, Philemon and Onesimus, based upon Christ.
Forgiveness.
The concept is easy when you feel that you’ve been wronged and taken advantage of. Broken trust, deception, even abuse inflicted on you. Yup, you totally get the concept of forgiveness because you are “owed” by that individual who has hurt you to ask for forgiveness.
So, forgiveness is super easy and in fact, you being the one hurt, are often impatient while waiting for that request to forgive. We’ll identify you as the “One Betrayed.”
What about the one who has broken trust? The individual who caused the pain, you created the conflict. Whose choices brought about the fracture in your relationship. The deceiver, the abuser, the violator of trust.
For them, seeking forgiveness is often elusive and many times unwarranted. They feel justified in their actions because they see it as a “cause and effect” situation.
“If you had only shown me the respect I deserved.”
“If you had only been more physically intimate with me.”
“If you had only listened to what I told you the first time.”
“If you…”
See, the blame is shifted, and ownership of sin is deflected to another. Forgiveness is avoided at all costs because it’s all about them.
They are known as the Betrayer.
This is where we will be this morning. Looking through the lens of both the Betrayed and the Betrayer and what God says so specifically on Forgiveness. His “Fact Book” is where we will turn to for the answers.
Friends, I want you to know that when Kerry and journey with a couple in this truth of Forgiveness, we spend many weeks with them. Identifying Broken Trust, rebuilding Trust, owning their sins, seeking, and receiving forgiveness and then the journey begins on repentance which takes time and thus leads, through His Grace and Mercy, to Reconciliation.
This morning, instead of drinking out of a Fire Hydrant, I’m led to give you each the beginning building blocks towards Biblical Forgiveness as seen in the book of Philemon.
For both the Betrayer and the Betrayed. Both must give and receive forgiveness, yes, both.
This all begins with my first point: Humility
Point 1: Forgiveness Requires Humility
Point 1: Forgiveness Requires Humility
Forgiveness Requires Humility
Let’s look at verses 1-3 again
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother: To Philemon our dear friend and coworker,
2 to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your home.
3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Notice where Paul places himself. He is a prisoner, a slave, a bondservant to Jesus. He has no rights except for that of the Master.
Paul approached Philemon with humility. Not as a Teacher, but as a fellow follower of Christ. He is approachable because of his humility.
Paul leads with love and respect towards Philemon. He sees them as equals in God’s eyes.
He speaks to Philemon’s family and friends and then Paul again places himself in the right relationship with God.
Friends, this is where our hearts should be when conflict has occurred in our lives with another.
Regardless of who did what or who said what…stop, approach God with humility.
Acknowledge Who you belong to first, Jesus Christ.
22 For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave.
This begins with a humble heart.
Think about that last conflict you had with someone.
Whether you were the Betrayer or the Betrayed.
I’m fairly certain you went to, what Paul Tripp calls, your “Inner Lawyer” to begin to justify your anger and contempt you were feeling inside. You may have also begun to justify your actions, first to yourself, then possibly to others.
(See, you want to make a camp so as to strengthen your cause)
Then, once your “Inner Lawyer” practiced its opening arguments, you go and proceed to correct and admonish the other individual.
I know that there are times of betrayal that are so much deeper than just verbal conflict. Like I stated before, there are many times that trust has not only been broken, but it’s been destroyed.
You, the one who was betrayed to your very core are beyond hurt, you feel completely defeated in the situation. You are now experiencing grief by the loss of the emotional intimacy you once had. The pain is real. The hurt is real.
Please let me share with you something, Jesus experienced betrayal at that same level.
One of His disciples, a man who walked with Him for three years and witnessed His love and mercy, betrayed Him for a bag of silver.
Another one of His Disciples, one who stood by Him through it all. Who recognized Him as the Messiah, who displayed his love for Jesus by his passion to all he encountered those three years, denied knowing Him, abandoned Him when Jesus was in His darkess hour.
During that time, what did Jesus do? He chose to forgive.
34 Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided his clothes and cast lots.
That sentence is in the active imperfect. Jesus is saying this over and over again, “Father forgive them. Father forgive them.” He is continually focused on forgiveness.
See, forgiveness is not an option as a Follower of Christ, it is an action that Christ directs us to do, without negotiation. It is a form of worship to Him through obedience by His example.
32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.
21 Then Peter approached him and asked, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?”
22 “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.
26 “But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”
We humble our hearts, we choose to forgive the one who betrayed us. For many, it is a daily choice we make, each morning, to pass the pain to God. Take our bitterness and anger off our “hook” and place it on God’s “hook.” This may take place over and over again as the pain eases and the choice to forgive becomes an attribute of your character in Christ.
Understand this, as I stated at the beginning, Forgiveness is an act of one. One’s obedience to Christ. Just because you chose to forgive does not mean you are reconciled. You must add in repentance from the betrayer before reconciliation takes place.
Pastor Trevor will go further into that next week.
We spoke on humility on the part of the one betrayed, but let’s now look at the Betrayer.
The one who chose to break trust. You too are commanded to seek forgiveness.
The Betrayer will often seek to justify their sin. Blame-shifting, resetting the perceptions towards their views, their “little kingdom.”
In fact, Paul Tripp says that we turn to our “Inner Lawyer” to help us win the case.
Stop right there. You broke trust. You violated a promise, a commitment, a covenant.
There is nothing to say or do except ask for forgiveness.
Please don’t try to build a case or justify your actions, either with others or even worse, the one you betrayed.
Fire that “Inner Lawyer” and turn to God and seek His forgiveness FIRST!
Humble your hearts.
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.
This is not about you or having to eat crow, or whatever form of self ridicule you think you are doing. No, it’s about making your heart right with God and then with the one you betrayed…Always in that order.
8 Mankind, he has told each of you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God.
That verse applies to all of us.
And this leads to an understanding that we all must recognize about Forgiveness.
Point 2: Forgiveness has a History
Point 2: Forgiveness has a History
Forgiveness has a History.
Let’s read verses 4-7
4 I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers,
5 because I hear of your love for all the saints and the faith that you have in the Lord Jesus.
6 I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ.
7 For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.
Paul stops and focuses on the history that he knows and shares with Philemon.
He recalls the past and reminds Philemon of the love he has shared and encouragement he has displayed to those around him.
See friends, it’s the History we share with one another that requires us to be prepared to not only ask for forgiveness but to also give forgiveness.
Paul knows of Philemon and now of Onesimus. The history that the slave and the master share.
It’s because of that History, the history of conflict, of hurt, of betrayal, of broken trust, that leads each of us towards forgiveness.
Remember that name of that individual I asked you to write down.
There’s history there. There’s a trigger that probably went off in your soul as you recalled that person, that name and then as you wrote it down.
For some of you right now, the thought of bringing back that pain of betrayal back to life is almost crippling to your soul.
History
For others, you don’t think they will ever forgive you for what you’ve done. Your choice to cause pain and suffering for that person was too great and you are to far gone.
History
The one you betrayed may not even know the bitterness you have placed on your hearty against them. You’ve been drinking the poison hoping they will die.
History
It doesn’t matter the History, what does matter is who You will trust.
Look what Paul wrote in verse 6.
6 I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ.
…for the glory of Christ.
Jesus wants to take that pain from you.
28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
29 Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Turn to Christ and rest in Him.
This takes us to my last point.
I’ve hit at it in the previous points; however, it needs to be a focus.
Point 3: Forgiveness Requires an Appeal
Point 3: Forgiveness Requires an Appeal
Forgiveness requires an Appeal.
I like the word appeal. It means an urgent request or a humble plea.
Let’s read what Paul wrote in his letter
8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right,
9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus,
10 appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I became his father while I was in chains.
11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me.
12 I am sending him back to you—I am sending my very own heart.
His appeal is clothed in humility and love. His love for Philemon. His love for Onesimus. Ands especially his love for Christ.
Unlike reconciliation which takes two individuals, Forgiveness and Repentance takes one
See friends, our hearts should be so inclined towards reconciliation, the actions of two,
that we should be bold in Christ to seek forgiveness or receive forgiveness as an action of one, of our own hearts, no one else.
We seek first God. We ask for His forgiveness to our tainted hearts.
Look at what David wrote.
For the choir director. A psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him after he had gone to Bathsheba.
1 Be gracious to me, God, according to your faithful love; according to your abundant compassion, blot out my rebellion.
2 Completely wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I am conscious of my rebellion, and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you—you alone—I have sinned and done this evil in your sight. So you are right when you pass sentence; you are blameless when you judge.
5 Indeed, I was guilty when I was born; I was sinful when my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire integrity in the inner self, and you teach me wisdom deep within.
7 Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Turn your face away from my sins and blot out all my guilt.
10 God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and sustain me by giving me a willing spirit.
13 Then I will teach the rebellious your ways, and sinners will return to you.
14 Save me from the guilt of bloodshed, God— God of my salvation— and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it; you are not pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. You will not despise a broken and humbled heart, God.
18 In your good pleasure, cause Zion to prosper; build the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will delight in righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar.
How’s that for an appeal…an urgent request made to God. A humble plea from David’s heart.
Friends, this is the path that each of us should focus on.
Seek first God’s will, ask Him for forgiveness first.
When we truly, without any reservation, seek forgiveness from Christ first-
Whether we are the betrayed or the betrayer, that does not matter.
What does matter is your heart. Your heart bent towards Christ and trusting Him to handle the hurt from trust that has been broken or even stolen from you.
To trust Him when you feel that the shame and guilt that you have inflicted on another can never be forgiven.
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.
Friends, who was that name you wrote down?
Humbly come to God in prayer.
Acknowledge the pain of the conflict.
Take it off of your hook and place it on God’s.
Ask God for forgiveness from the bitterness, anger, shame or fear you have towards them.
And friends, this is most possibly a repeated process every morning, every evening until that yolk of self is given completely to Christ.
I pray through what Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus
1 Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received,
2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
3 making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
He kinda sums up what we just read in Philemon
Forgiveness Requires Humility
Forgiveness Has a History
Forgiveness Requires an Appeal
This is the beginning of healing. Next week Pastor Trevor will speak to Repentance, again that only takes one. Then on the 20th, Pastor Rich will speak to Reconciliation…Friends, that takes 2.
Gospel Presentation
Gospel Presentation
Right now, I want to speak to those of you who do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ. This morning, you heard the Gospel as where we are going in the next three weeks.
Forgiveness + Repentance = Reconciliation
That’s the Gospel.
Right now, you are either holding onto resentment and bitterness because of broken trust from another, or your shame and regret is so heavy, so deep that you can’t see a way out.
Friend, please hear me. Jesus is there waiting for you-the betrayed and the betrayer.
He wants to take that yolk of anger and that yolk of shame off your shoulders and give you a yolk of peace.
See friend, God loved you so much that He sent His Son to die for you.
8 But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus Christ died for you, for each and everyone of us! His death paid the price for our sins and His resurrection proves that God accepted His death as payment for our sins.
Seek God and ask for forgiveness of your sins.
Repent from your sins, turn from the anger, bitterness, shame, guilt, selfishness that has you trapped and turn to God. Surrender your life to Him.
Be reconciled to God.
13 For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.
If you've made that decision to follow Christ today, please share it with me. If you are in the room this morning, then come down front, we want to celebrate with you and pray with you.
If you are online, then please email me at joe@ehbc.org. I would love to spend time taking with you and get some materials into your hands to strengthen your new journey.
Now to those that have a relationship with Jesus.
Friend, where is your heart in regard to forgiveness?
Do you need to cry out to God like David did?
Do you need to begin to stop listening to your “Inner Lawyer” and instead allow Christ to reign in your heart?
Approach Christ today with a humble heart.
Speak life into the sin that you are so entangled with…the bitterness, the rage, the hatred. Maybe it’s the shame, the resentment.
Then appeal to Christ for forgiveness.
That’s where it starts.
The steps are open.
Kerry and Trevor will be down here to pray with you. To join you as you begin to heal your heart.
Please don’t let another day go by choosing to ignore the pain of unforgiveness.
Let’s stand and pray together as a church family for healing of our souls.
Pray
Pray
Closing Announcements
Closing Announcements
Friends, a reminder about our Bible Reading plan. We just completed Hosea yesterday and guess what is today’s reading?
Philemon! and we did it this morning. So now you all are caught up.
Tomorrow we begin the book of Leviticus. And I agree with Pastor Bill, it’s a great book. We’ll take the month of February to go through Leviticus together.
And, tonight we are blessed to have Mark Yee lead the Pastor’s Bible Study in Miller Hall. Please join us this evening at 5:30pm. Mark’s study will be a blessing for all.
Now I’ll close with our benediction, will you all please stand.
21 “But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.”
God bless you my friends and see you tonight at 5:30.