Family Matters

Matthew 7:24–27 NIV

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

Introduction:

Growing up I can remember seeing my Dad negotiate everything. Anyone else have a Dad like that?

I had a front row seat to many of my Dad’s negotiations. He would negotiate things that were not even negotiable, and then he’d tell me everything is negotiable. The older I got, the more I began to reflect this same behavior. I began to negotiate, and I began to negotiate all kinds of things. When I worked at Northrop Grumman I would lead teams who would negotiate with our suppliers. One of my favorite glasses in grad school was negotiation.

Where did I learn this?

I learned this from my father.

I believe he saw this in me because he once told me not to over negotiate something. I was being recruited to move to a larger company and into a better position, and I remember him telling me, “Don’t over negotiate, Josh. This is a good opportunity for you that you don’t want to miss.”

You see we all reflect the values of our home as we grow older. You might think to yourself, “we had no values growing up that I am aware of,” but the behaviors of your home and family were your values. Just becuase they weren’t stated or verbalized to you doesn’t mean that they didn’t exist.

Transition

So as we kick off our series today I want to call out some of the messed up values in our world today, and then point us to what I believe the word of God teaches us. The Bible is not silent on the things your family should value. So, we are going to dig in.

I want to quickly let you know that I am grabbing some incredible information from Jimmy Evans for today’s message. He is a great communicator, and someone you should be following and listening to if you want to strengthen your home.

Jesus’ Promises for your Family

As we read this passage in Matthew Jesus makes some statements that you can take as promises for life, and for your family.

Jesus Promises Difficulties

I know this isn’t what we want to hear, but it’s all but guaranteed that there will trouble. Jesus said that rains came, stream rose and wind beat on the house. You all know exactly what I am talking about. We are going to have to live through some hard things in life.

Loved ones are going to pass away too soon.

Parents are going to miss the mark.

Money will be short.

You might lose a job.

Sickness is going to hit when you least expect it.

Jesus isn’t sugar coating any of this in the parable he’s teaching.

So what we must do, and how we must respond is to become wise in how we build our home. Wise builders build for the worse case scenario.

Could you imagine only building your home for best case scenarios? It won’t be built to withstand when the worst happens.

Jesus Promises Security for those who obey his word.

He says that those who build on my word are going to build something that lasts and can withstand the difficulties that will happen in life.

Why can we trust this?

Jesus said, “heaven and earth will pass away but my word will remain the same.”

His word has outlasted Kings and Kingdoms, the rise and fall of nations, the changing winds of culture, and everything, and I mean absolutely everything that hell could throw against it. His word is here and you would be wise to build your home on his word.

Jesus Promises Failure to those Who Do Not Build On His Word

He does this by likening it to someone who builds on the sand. You might be thinking why in the world would anyone want to build on the sand? It’s the same reason many people want to build their lives away from God’s word.

It’s more comfortable.

It’s more popular.

If you lay down on the sand it conforms to you.

A New Value System

Surrender and Accept the Lordship of Jesus

He can be your God, and he can not be your Lord.

This can be your church, and Jesus is still not Lord over your life.

To make him your Lord is to put him over every decision of your life. You tell your family that our priorities in this home is God first. We will not have anything else that is higher than God in our home. We are going to run every decision through him.

God doesn’t bless good decisions, he blesses God decisions.

Not every good thing is a God thing. When he is # 1, when we have made him Lord in our life we are completely surrendered to him.

Trust God to Meet Every Need

The Bible, and in particular the Old Testament, gives us a relationship that should model how this dependency on him should look like. That is the relationship of the sheep and the shepherd.

A sheep completely depends on the shepherd for three things:

Direction

Protection

Provision

In the same way, our trust in God should be for these three things. And if we get this right, I believe we will have all that we need.

Behavior is Generational, so Live Intentionally

I shared with you earlier that I enjoy a good negotiation, because that’s what I saw my father doing. He wasn’t doing that to teach me a lesson, but so many things are caught.

In the same way, your children are watching you. You have to live your life with great intention.

Men and women who became great didn’t get their by accident. There is great intention in how they live their days, how they treat others and how they want to leave a mark on this world.

Let’s read this powerful Proverb together:

Proverbs 13:22 NIV

A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children, but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.

This Proverb is talking about money first and foremost. The last thing you want to do is leave your children and their children your financial problems to clean up.

But we can also make an application with how we treat others, habits, addictions, behavior, how we treat others, and the list goes on.

What are you leaving for your children?

Raise Your Children in the Church

As we give our children a legacy of faith, let us also teach them the importance of gathering with the church.

Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

This is a simple scripture when read at face value, but takes on a whole new meaning when we understand the context in which Paul wrote this. He writes this to a church that is under intense persecution. Followers of Jesus were under persecution and being martyred for following Jesus. They were safer believing in isolation. It was better for them to quietly follow Jesus and avoid the gatherings so that they wouldn’t be putting their lives in danger. So they gave up meeting together for self preservation, and here comes Paul saying don’t stop gathering! I know that there is risk involved, but we are the body of Christ. Gathering is how we build each other up, strengthen ourselves, receive the word and grow in our relationships!

It takes on a deeper meaning, doesn’t it?

Some will miss gathering simply because our preferences aren’t being met.

I’m not trying to make light of it, but you are showing your family that this is what we value. We have not just a family by blood, but we have a spiritual family, and that is the church.

Break the Cycle - Conclusion

As I come to a close I know that some of you are here and you are thinking to yourself, it’s too late! I didn’t grow up in a home like this. This wasn’t my value system. How can I undo all that I have lived and all that was done to me?

Break Generational Cycles

You get to be the one to break generational cycles and create a new legacy for your family. You get to pioneer and begin a new work in your family.

In just a moment I want to pray specifically for you.